Marjorie Taylor Greene Despondent After Learning Jesus Was Jewish

[LetMyPeopleVote]

I love good satire
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/marjorie-taylor-greene-despondent

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene has been inconsolable since she discovered on Wednesday that Jesus Christ was Jewish, the Georgia congresswoman has confirmed.

“I wanted to be a hundred percent positive that Jews killed our Lord, so I looked on the Internet,” Greene told reporters. “I went to Jesus’s Wikipedia page, where I was hoping to find information about Him being handed over to King Herod by the Jewish gazpacho.”

Instead, she said, “there was all of this stuff about Jesus being a rabbi and whatnot, and I started breaking out in hives.”

Greene said that she was holding out hope that the information about Jesus’s religion was wrong, “the way things on the Internet sometimes are.”

“Maybe instead of being Jewish, He was just ‘Jew-ish,’ like George Santos,” she said. “Anyway, I just ordered one of President Trump’s $60 Bibles and I’m praying there’s none of this Jesus-is-a-Jew nonsense in there.”

[riversedge]

1. MTG is almost crazy enough for this stuff to be true!!

[ProudMNDemocrat]

2. A DUPE easily duped.

Of course, Marjie, Jesus was a Jew. The inscription of INRI on the cross stood for...King of The Jews

I have to hand it to The Borowitz Report to give us a good laugh when we need one.

[Oneironaut]

3. "Jesus was a Christian! Duh!"

I’m still waiting for a good answer from anti-Semitic Christians.

[Marcus IM]

4. Strange that anti Semitic christians worship a Jewish man.

Among other strange things.

[StClone]

16. It is one of those mysteries that is accepted to make Christianity

Catholics do like this:

Trinity

The Christian doctrine of the Trinity is the central doctrine concerning the nature of God in most Christian churches, which defines one God existing in three coequal, coeternal, consubstantial divine persons: God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit, three distinct persons sharing one essence/substance/nature.

[Conjuay]

5. Well

He DID invent space lasers after all.

[BlueKota]

6. Stephanie Miller used to do this with radical

right "christians," who called into the show who were in antisemitic diatribes. She would always remind them Jesus was a dark skinned Jew. Not a blonde haired, blue eyed Christian. They would usually hang up without replying.

[Hotler]

13. I may have to put that on a T-shirt. nt

[et tu]

7. funny and tragic at

the same time, that this is even satire because
of the far right's inability to acknowledge any
known facts. so sad for them~

[Wounded Bear]

8. OK, that got a chuckle...

[TBF]

9. "the Jewish gazpacho"

[AllaN01Bear]

10. hem .

:

[IronLionZion]

11. And he was born in Bethlehem, inside the West Bank

So he's a Jewish Palestinian long haired peacenik who gave people free healthcare.

[joho260]

12. Oh Little Town...

West Bank??? I thought he was born in Pennsylvania.

[Hotler]

14. He was, born right there inside the steel mill, where the casino is today.

[joho260]

17. next door

I always used to sing "Oh Little Town of Allentown". Gotta be fair, you know!

[Hotler]

21. Sweet! I always like spreading a little sarcasm during the holidays also.

Did they ever finish that redevelopment? I checked a bunch of steel fabrication drawings for the casino/hotel 2021-23 and they paid off everybody and pulled the plug unfinished. Heard any gossip on that? Just curious.

[lastlib]

15. You think she's despondent NOW?

Wait'll she finds out he was a LIBERAL!

Feeding the poor--taxing the rich--taking care of the sick--accepting the stranger--forgiving the criminal--blessing the peacemakers--loving your neighbors.......sure doesn't sound like a conservative.

Love Borowitz!

[Johnny2X2X]

18. Wait until she reads the Gospel of Carl

Carl 4:11 1-3. "And yay did Jesus say unto thee, and I give to you these giant Jewish Space Lasers so that thee should smite all who are not woke. And they shall know the name of George Soros."

[Takket]

19. I know this is satire but

Seriously… I bet MTG has never even cracked open a Bible.

[calimary]

20. Andy Borowitz!!!

[republianmushroom]

22. Satire ??

[Rhiannon12866]

23. K&R for Borowitz!

I knew as soon as I read the title...