General Discussion
Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsI'm the worm that ate part of RFK Jr.'s brain, and I'm asking for your vote (Alexandra Petri)
There's a gift link for this here: https://balloon-juice.com/2024/05/11/saturday-evening-open-thread-the-rfklown-jr-show-is-irresistible-to-comedians/
That is why, today, I have an announcement to make. I am eliminating the middle man and running for president myself. Yes, I am the worm that ate part of RFK Jr.s brain, and Im asking for your vote. I am the only candidate brave enough to say: I am a parasitic worm, and I dont understand what is best for the country.
...
To those who reply, We dont actually know that! Thats just what the symptoms are consistent with! We havent done a complete examination of the exact type of worm that died in Robert F. Kennedy Jr.s brain after eating part of it, I say: That is fair, and I am worm enough to grant it to you. Thank you, and I hope to receive your vote in November. Please just write in Robert F. Kennedy Jr.s WORM, NOT THE MAN, THE WORM on your ballot. As long as you are throwing away your vote, throw it away on a worm. Thats also my slogan.
...
RFK Jr. has justified his candidacy by saying that people are overwhelmingly frustrated with the options presented to them and need a third choice. Well, I see that third choice and raise you a fourth choice: a candidate you can trust not to have any brain worms because that candidate is a brain worm. I am also not currently under indictment for any reason.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/2024/05/09/rfk-brain-worm-kennedy-satire-petri/
greatauntoftriplets
(175,903 posts)Of all the brains he could have been trapped in, he scored RFK, Jr.'s. Sad.
grumpyduck
(6,336 posts)had to come out the other end, I have a pretty good idea of what the term "shit for brains" means.
sop
(10,668 posts)But then this is America, 2024 ...
And only in America can a worm come from nothing and eat himself into the Presidency of the United States!
emulatorloo
(44,425 posts)enough
(13,312 posts)Sogo
(5,089 posts)because you ate the brain stuff and then died....
What's that say about that brain stuff????
Sessuch
(118 posts)Conjuay
(1,536 posts)Look no further than the House GOP.
sop
(10,668 posts)NEW YORK (The Borowitz Report) In the latest setback for Robert F. Kennedy Jr.s presidential bid, a worm who dined in the candidates brain wrote a brutal Yelp review shortly before dying, the reviewing site confirmed on Monday.
The worms review began on a discouraging note, claiming that Kennedys brain was almost impossible to find.
Once I managed to get there, I couldnt believe how cramped it was, the worm continued. Im all for intimate dining but this place was ridiculously tiny.
The worm also slammed the noise level in the candidates brain, complaining, I couldnt hear myself think with all the different voices in there.
With one star, Kennedys brain ranks last in Yelps Worm Dining category, tied with Kristi Noems brain.