Top 10 Conservative Idiots Special Report #3: The Trump Verdict Edition

[Top 10 Idiots]

Top 10 Conservative Idiots Special Report #3: The Trump Verdict Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Now I know usually we don’t bring any new material while we are off on our break time, but unfortunate circumstances prevented us from airing our season finale on May 30th, which was only two weeks ago, but in the 24 hour a day news era, it feels like an eternity ago! So we decided to bring you these three entries as an addendum to our season finale. And don’t worry, we will be making an official announcement on the long term future of our fine program soon. We’re still deliberating at our home offices in Santa Ana, California and we will make a decision in due time. We don’t know what’s going to happen beyond January of 2025. Trust us, you’ll be the first to know! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

So our special report is going to consist of 3 entries – the first is going to center around the Trump (1) guilty verdict, and it looks like Steve Bannon and Rudy Giuliani are going down with the ship! But of course, we all know that Trump will never throw his mates a life raft. In the second slot, we have a new Conspiracy Corner for you – centering around the absolutely insane attempt by our old friend Marjorie Shit For Brains (2) to get campaign ad fodder by grilling Dr. Fauci about the vaccines on the House floor – and got utterly humiliated in the process! Finally, because we care about our loyal viewers, we have a new People Are Dumb (3) that was cut from the season finale! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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Let’s talk about convicted felons for a minute, can we do that? Look, MAGA, we know about the Hunter Biden conviction, OK? And no one is really saying anything about it. And yes, we also know that the goal posts got moved back again in the Alec Baldwin trial. But you know what hasn’t changed at all? Donald Fucking Trump is a convicted fucking felon! Yes, we decided to do this special mini edition dedicated to the insanity unfolding on the ongoing trial against Trump unfolding in New York City. Fox News turned the entirety of the trial into a literal 3 ring circus. No one had a more blatant display of ass kissing than Alabama’s regional Fox News correspondent Tommy Tuberville did. No, he’s not a senator. Well, he’s a senator in name only. But that’s a topic for a different day. This is about Donald Trump. And the reason why we wanted to bring you this mini edition of the Top 10 is because we couldn’t exactly pop the champagne the way we wanted to when the verdict was first announced because of some technical difficulties that our home office in Santa Ana was experiencing when we went live. But let’s talk about the guilty verdict first and what it could possibly mean.

A New York jury on Thursday found former President Donald Trump guilty of all 34 felony charges of falsifying business records related to a hush money payment to porn star Stormy Daniels by his then-personal lawyer before the 2016 election.

Trump is the first former U.S. president to be found guilty of any crime. His sentencing was quickly scheduled for July 11 at 10 a.m. ET.

Trump, who is the presumptive Republican presidential nominee, faces a maximum possible sentence of four years in prison for each count. Trump's demeanor did not change during the reading of the verdict. His son Eric Trump looked angry after the jury foreman repeatedly said "guilty" to each count as it was read.

The 12-member jury deliberated less than 10 hours over two days before sending out a note to Judge Juan Merchan saying they had reached a verdict. Before the announcement, Trump, his lawyers, prosecutors and reporters expected the jury to be dismissed for the day at 4:30 p.m.

Read more: https://www.cnbc.com/2024/05/30/trump-trial-verdict-hush-money.html

Yeah WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Ha ha, what a sad, pathetic loser Trump is, and he will always be a sad, pathetic loser. But with an extremely fanatical cult base. However, this verdict has split the GOP down the middle, as it usually does – between hardline MAGA bootlickers and the few sane members of that party who Fox News hasn’t ostracized yet. One such person is former Arkansas governor Asa Hutchins. Yes, he was a terrible governor but come on, Arkansas, you elected fucking Sarah Sanders? What’s wrong with you? Anyway, Asa had an independent thought and as you can guess, the MAGA cult doesn’t like that.

Former Arkansas Gov. Asa Hutchinson (R) said Thursday that Americans will gain “confidence” with the recent verdict in former President Trump’s New York hush money case over time.

“I think, as time goes on, America will have more and more confidence in the jury result,” the former 2024 GOP presidential primary candidate said in an interview with CNN’s John Berman on “CNN News Central.”

Trump last week became the first former U.S. president to have the status of being a convicted felon, following a jury finding him guilty on all counts of falsifying business records to hide alleged affairs amid his 2016 campaign.

“We have confidence that 12 of our citizens are gonna make a fair and just verdict, and I hope that in the end, there’s … more confidence versus less confidence in our justice system,” said Hutchinson, also a former federal prosecutor.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/asa-hutchinson-says-americans-more-211617055.html

So yeah… what’s wrong with you, Arkansas? Come on. Well, the problem could lie at the top of the heap as one of the world’s prime evils, Vladimir Putin, of course was jarred by the verdict coming from New York. But of course, while Vladimir Putin is setting up franchises all over the world in countries like India, the Philippines, Turkey, Israel, Italy, the list goes on. Thankfully one country has managed to stave off the infection of fascism into world democracy – at least for now, and that’s the United States. Of course, the reaction from the Kremlin as to why their puppet lost and continues to lose, is nothing short of completely predictable.

Kremlin spokesperson Dmitry Peskov raised an alarm Friday about President Donald Trump's guilty verdict in his hush money trial, saying the case was an attempt to "eliminate political rivals."

The Context

On Thursday, a New York jury found Trump, the presumptive GOP presidential nominee, guilty on 34 counts of falsifying business records relating to a hush money payment to adult film actress Stormy Daniels shortly before the 2016 presidential election. Daniels alleges she had a sexual encounter with Trump in 2006, which he denies. Trump has maintained his innocence and says the case is politically motivated.

Trump has boasted about his relationship with Russian President Vladimir Putin, telling Fox Business in August 2023 that Moscow would have never launched its invasion of Ukraine in February 2022 if he had been in office. "I was the apple of his eye," he said about Putin.

In a June 2021 interview with NBC News, Putin called Trump an "extraordinary individual, talented individual. Otherwise, he would not have become U.S. president."

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/kremlin-raises-alarm-about-donald-trump-verdict/ar-BB1noPxJ

Now you might be thinking – we could be entering into uncharted territory heading into the 2024 election. And you might be right – especially with Trump going full James Bond villain and adding Elon Musk as the bad guy who James Bond fights before the final battle. But while MAGA is currently screaming at New York and Judge Merchan like the spoiled toddlers we all know that they are, their reaction to Hunter Biden’s trial on weapons charges proves that there is no bottom for them. In fact their reaction to the verdict is very telling on where it is they actually stand. And we can tell you one thing is for certain – it ain’t good. And we just know Fox News is going to be pulling some shenanigans before the election to do more damage to Biden and help out their boy Trump, because they’re run by a bunch of fascist psychopaths.

Hunter Biden’s conviction on federal gun charges is the needle that pops former president and convicted felon Donald Trump’s inflated and ludicrous claims of a rigged American justice system.

The evidence against President Joe Biden’s son, like the evidence against Trump in his hush money case, was strong. And as in Trump’s case in New York City, the prosecutors, the defense attorneys and, most important, the jurors did their jobs in Wilmington, Delaware.

They found the younger Biden guilty of buying a gun he knew he wasn’t supposed to posses while knowingly lying on a federal form, saying he wasn’t addicted to drugs. He’s guilty, he can appeal and the justice system worked as it’s supposed to work.

The system worked in Trump’s case as well, but the Republican Party's presumptive presidential nominee and his minions have done everything possible to obscure that fact with lies and utter nonsense. Trump continues to rail against the judge in his case, to claim a state prosecution was somehow directed by President Biden – which isn’t how anything works – and to whine endlessly about how he’s being persecuted.

https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2024/06/11/hunter-biden-guilty-verdict-trump-conviction-rigged/74058041007/

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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! Of course conspiracies exist when people simply don’t want to read the article past the headlines and just flat out make shit up. We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter from deep within the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location, of course! Let me just adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! They are trying to read yours and my thoughts after all! So it’s the fourth anniversary of a once in a century pandemic, which of course was COVID-19 that shut down all life as we knew it in March of 2020. So of course now that things have opened back up and restrictions around the world have been loosened, people are naturally demanding answers. One such person who refuses to move on until those responsible are executed, is of course Marjorie Shit For Brains (Q – Batshit). She dragged Dr. Fauci again before Congress demanding to know if he got a sweet payday from Pfizer or not, presumably looking for campaign ad fodder.

In his first public testimony since stepping down from government office at the end of 2022, Dr. Anthony Fauci on Monday fended off a variety of attacks from Republican politicians at a fiery hearing called to discuss lessons learned during the pandemic.

Fauci, appearing voluntarily before the House Select Subcommittee on the Coronavirus Pandemic, denied a wide range of claims that have been made against him in recent years.

Various Republican subcommittee members asked Fauci about funding for virology research in China that came from the National Institutes of Health and that they said he had approved. Some conspiracy theories suggest that such research led to the coronavirus being leaked from a lab. Fauci also answered questions about whether his staff endeavored to conceal the nature of that research from the public.

In his opening statement, Fauci said it's possible the virus had leaked from a lab — he said that, given that the pandemic's origins remain unknown, he personally keeps an open mind. But he denied concealing any relevant information about a potential leak.
https://www.nbcnews.com/health/health-news/fauci-hearing-covid-pandemic-origins-rcna155188

Yeah so Fauci totally owned Greene, and made her look like an idiot, but that’s not really that hard to do. But of course, the conspiracy theorists on the internet won’t tell you that, and Fox News definitely won’t tell you that either. Of course, wherever the right wing goes, death threats and douchebaggery follow. But hey, these are Trump’s people! These are also Elon Musk’s people – yes, the guy who thinks his online friends are his real friends. So when that happens, literally nothing good can come of it!

Dr. Anthony Fauci has said that Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene's vocal criticisms of him during a congressional hearing on the COVID-19 pandemic had increased the number of death threats against him.

Fauci, who was the director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases for 38 years before retiring in 2022, testified voluntarily on Monday before a GOP-led subcommittee that has spent more than a year probing the nation's response to the pandemic. Fauci was the public face of the government's early response to COVID-19.

Monday's hearing quickly deteriorated into partisan attacks, with Fauci facing the most hostility from Greene, a Georgia Republican. She refused to address him as "doctor," called for him to be prosecuted "for crimes against humanity" and said he "belongs in prison."



"So that's the reason why I'm still getting death threats. When you have performances like that unusual performance by Marjorie Taylor Greene in today's hearing, those are the kind of things that drive up the death threats because there are a segment of the population out there that believe that kind of nonsense."
https://www.newsweek.com/anthony-fauci-death-threats-after-marjorie-taylor-greene-remarks-congress-1907780

Look, we get it. Everyone was upset about what happened in 2020, naturally. You know it wasn’t exactly humanity at its’ finest. Though nothing since 2016 was, if you think about it. Don’t believe me? We went from “hope and change” to “fuck your feelings”. So of course, people want answers as to why the entire world shut down. But constantly grilling and threatening to murder the one guy who was trying to help, isn’t exactly the way to go. It’s literally like we’re living in the movie Idiocracy if you can believe that. But by the way, why was this asshole who was part of the plot to overthrow the government in the audience? What the actual fuck???

Dr. Anthony Fauci was called back to Congress on Monday and attacked by Republican lawmakers — but his foes weren't merely before him in the congressional hearing.

A Jan. 6 attacker who served one of the toughest prison sentences yet handed out was perched over his left shoulder, making faces.

National security expert Marcy Wheeler pointed out on X that Brandon Fellows was just released from prison on May 20 after serving three years on both felony and misdemeanor charges.

https://www.rawstory.com/january-6-2668444920/

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So you might be asking – did we learn any lessons from this exercise? Well, we learned one for sure – people who are consumed with right wing rage and fueled by internet conspiracy theories like Marjorie Shit For Brains are, they are ruthless, blood thirsty, psychopathic, and highly motivated to get exactly what they want. And the other – Marjorie is certifiably deranged. Again, it is what happens when you let hate and weaponized propaganda consume you. But for the graduates of the school of “I Did My Own Research”, this is only the beginning. Imagine what will happen when a second Trump term happens, which we all pray won’t.

Dr. Anthony Fauci testified publicly on Capitol Hill Monday for the first time since leaving government. Appearing before the Republican-led House Select Subcommittee on the Coronavirus Pandemic, Fauci sought to debunk conservative conspiracy theories about his response to COVID-19 while withstanding personal attacks from several GOP members of the panel.

Fauci, the former director of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases and chief medical adviser to President Biden, stepped down from both positions in 2022. He testified behind closed doors before the same committee for two days in January.

The veteran of seven presidential adminstrations also testified that he and his family continue to receive death threats as a result of misinformation and that they still require security detail. Fauci left his position at the NIAID and Biden administration in 2022.



During the five minutes she was allotted questions, Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, the Republican from Georgia, informed Fauci that she was refusing to call him a doctor because she said she believes he “does not deserve to have a license” and should be “in prison.”

The remarks drew objections from Democrats on the committee and from Wenstrup, who instructed Greene to refer to Fauci — who received a doctorate in medicine from Cornell University in 1966 before joining the National Institutes of Health — by his earned title.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/fauci-testifies-before-congress-for-first-time-since-leaving-government-5-takeaways-from-the-hearing-183418709.html?guccounter=1

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb. I always want to preface by saying exactly what makes a People Are Dumb story. Like a person who goes and robs a McDonalds? Not a People Are Dumb story. A person who calls 911 because their meth stash got stolen? Now that is a People Are Dumb story! And as usual, all names have been omitted from the stories we feature, because we don’t want to draw negative attention to this program! Perfect story to get us started, let’s start with this story out of Brazil. And yes once again, we would like to emphasize that there’s stupid people all over the world, it’s not a problem that’s unique to the United States, oh no, my friends! So this woman pulled a caper straight out of that movie Weekend At Bernies and attempted to take a dead guy to the bank to cash a check. But I love that the story calls this whole thing “disturbing”. Come on man, didn’t you see that movie? Put some conga music on, let’s get a line going!

A woman was arrested in Brazil on Tuesday night after she used a wheelchair to take a dead man into a bank in an attempt to get a loan, according to local reports.

Employees at the bank in the Bangu neighborhood of Rio de Janeiro became suspicious of Érika de Souza Vieira Nunes and called the police, according to g1. Paramedics responding to the scene found that the man in the wheelchair—identified as 68-year-old Paulo Roberto Braga—had been dead for several hours.

Police are now investigating the circumstances of Braga’s death. They’re also checking to see if the woman is related to him—she reportedly told authorities that she is Braga’s niece and his carer.

Disturbing video footage filmed by workers at the bank appears to show her repeatedly attempting to keep the body’s head upright and instructing him to hold a pen.

more...

https://www.thedailybeast.com/woman-arrested-after-taking-a-corpse-to-a-bank-to-co-sign-a-loan?ref=home

Next up – concerts. But not just any concert. There is the unbelievable new venue in Las Vegas called the “Sphere”. Well now that it’s been built and operational, it’s attracting record crowds with bands like Phish, U2, and currently is hosting a Dead & Company residency. Well it’s also attracting the idiots. And one fan found out the hard way when he posted a message on social media bragging about how he was the first fan to smoke a joint. Well, needless to say, the good folks at MSG Holdings, the parent company of the Sphere, and other venues like Madison Square Garden and Radio City Music Hall, wasn’t exactly thrilled with the tweet. And this is another one of those “play stupid games, win stupid prizes” kind of deals.

Madison Square Garden Entertainment has permanently banned a concert-goer credited with the “first bong hit to ever be ripped” inside of the Sphere during a Phish concert on April 20th, 2024.

Video of the individual smoking out of a bong prior to Phish’s concert at the $2.3 billion venue in Las Vegas was shared on Phish fan sites and quickly went viral. While the individual became something of a folk hero among the band’s fans, MSG, the owner of Sphere, didn’t seem to find the video as funny.

In a letter sent by Christopher Schimpf, SVP/Associate General Counsel of Madison Square Garden Entertainment on June 3rd, the concert-goer was informed that they had “violated the guest code of conduct by visibly smoking inside the venue. Sphere Entertainment Co. will not tolerate actions that threaten the safety and security of our guests, and employees.”

As a result, the individual is “hereby indefinitely banned” from attending events at the Sphere and other Madison Square Garden venues. Presumably, MSG will utilize its controversial facial recognition technology to prevent the fan from attending Phish concerts in the future.
https://consequence.net/2024/06/phish-fan-bong-sphere-banned/

Ha ha ha ha…. Yeah MSG ain’t playing! Next up - the Tesla Cybertruck is currently a thing, and it’s divided people straight down the middle. Either you love this thing, or you hate this thing. And Elon fanboys are absolutely insane. Well, of course, with the controversial truck being in the news all the time, it was only a matter of time before someone did something recklessly stupid with it. Well this one involved doing something that you should never do in a vehicle – donuts. Yes, doing donuts in a car or truck is recklessly stupid no matter how you try to justify it. And this story is one of those “play stupid games, win stupid prizes” kind of deals.

It was only a matter of time before someone in a Tesla Cybertruck crashed into a crowd at a sideshow. While attempting to do some sort of reverse donut thing (I think) at a gathering in Chicago, a dark copper-wrapped Cybertruck backed right into a crowd of onlookers as a couple of people hung out the window of the stainless steel truck.

From the video posted by 773davo on Instagram over the weekend, we see the driver of the Cybertruck in the middle of a circle of people. He puts the truck in reverse in some sort of weird attempt to do a reverse donut, maybe. That’s where things go wrong. The driver immediately plows into a group of people, knocking a few of them over fairly violently. That makes sense. They did just get hit by a sharp 6,700-ish-pound monster. The driver then pulls away like nothing happened and you can hear the crowd screaming and yelling in the background.

It’s hard to see in the video, but from the looks of it, everyone who was down on the ground got back up fairly quickly, which means they probably weren’t too badly hurt. Surprising, given the Cybertruck’s ability to injure people.
https://jalopnik.com/tesla-is-starting-to-get-worried-1849984236

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Finally this week – of course you know we can’t get out of here without mentioning our favorite state, the Sunshine State. Florida. Otherwise known as America’s Wang, according to Homer Simpson. And this involves a restaurant that’s practically synonymous with the south – Waffle House! Yes, that notorious 24 hour a day breakfast chain was at it again. This time, with a way too literal food fight. But what makes this one absolutely spectacular is that one patron who happened to be there at the time, decided to give a play by play commentary on the whole breakfast brawl. That’s a People Are Dumb story!

A late-night craving for waffles turned into a chaotic scene at an Orlando Waffle House as employees and customers engaged in a wild brawl. The incident, captured on video by a social media influencer, has since gone viral, sparking discussions about the restaurant chain’s reputation for after-hours altercations.

The brawl reportedly erupted following a dispute between a customer and staff. What started as a verbal exchange quickly escalated into a full-blown melee, with plates, cups, and even wigs flying through the air. The influencer, who goes by the name Capo, narrated the chaotic scene as it unfolded.

The video shows a chaotic scene with customers and employees throwing punches and objects. At one point, a female customer has her wig ripped off during the altercation.

The brawl continued for several minutes before bystanders intervened to break it up.
https://www.tampafp.com/video-waffle-house-brawl-in-florida-turns-breakfast-into-bedlam/

That’s it this week for:

Thanks for indulging us in this Special Report! We’re off next week, we’ll be back on the 27th with our Season 16 Best Of, and our Holy Shit Best Of is getting moved to July 12th. Plus we’ll be starting on reposts next week.

See you in two weeks!

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Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of A Live Audience At: Constellation Room At Observatory OC, Santa Ana, CA
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