Breaking News: The Associated Press says J D Vance did not have sex with a sofa.

[surfered]

The wire service fact-checked the claim and declared in its headline on Wednesday, “No, JD Vance did not have sex with a couch.”

It did not address the issue of whether or not he wanted to have sex with the sofa.

[BeyondGeography]

1. Yeah, but what about that pillow on the sofa?

[Wonder Why]

39. Michael Lindell is suing for Alienation of Affections!

[Doc Sportello]

2. How does the AP know?

Have they spent every second with him when he was alone with a ripe old sectional? Perhaps it was a Barcalounger and in his joy he thought it was a sofa? Men do tend to exaggerate when it comes to sexual predilictions.

[orthoclad]

3. Streisand effect

Keep denying it, shillbilly.

[ck4829]

4. His running mate did pay hush money to a pornstar though

[Xavier Breath]

5. Fine, no sex, but you know he at least got to second base.

[bigtree]

6. just the cushions, then.

...got it.

[Historic NY]

7. Love seat

[LudwigPastorius]

8. So, he claims it is a chaiste lounge, and...

not a sextional?

[MerryBlooms]

9. 😆

[dweller]

10. When I get that feeling

I need sectional healing …


✌🏻

[Pinback]

28. OMG!

Randy Rainbow, are you reading this?

[Harker]

43. That's a beauty! n/t

[Ocelot II]

11. Hunter Thompson explained "pig-fucker politics" in his book "Fear and Loathing on the Campaign Trail":

“This is one of the oldest and most effective tricks in politics. Every hack in the business has used it in times of trouble, and it has even been elevated to the level of political mythology in a story about one of Lyndon Johnson’s early campaigns in Texas.

“The race was close and Johnson was getting worried. Finally he told his campaign manager to start a massive rumor campaign about his opponent’s life-long habit of enjoying carnal knowledge of his barnyard sows.

“Christ, we can’t get away with calling him a pig-fucker,” the campaign manager protested. “Nobody’s going to believe a thing like that.”

“I know,” Johnson replied. “But let’s make the sonofabitch deny it.”

This is exactly that, but with a couch.

[GoneOffShore]

18. We think alike - I posted that excerpt on another thread at 0700 hrs CEST today.

[surfered]

25. Great minds think alike

[Hugin]

12. Did they include a description of the so-called fact check?

I’d like to see it verified by an independent third party.

[AZSkiffyGeek]

13. I just read they pulled the factcheck

Apparently they didn't verify enough? Get a page unavailable now.
https://apnews.com/article/fact-check-jd-vance-sex-couch-038130326229

[Sky Jewels]

14. ...So please stop saying that JD Vance a Couch Copulator or a Sofa Screwer.

Nor is it polite to call him a Divan Diddler or a Chesterfield Chingado. Also, kindly cease and desist with slurs like Loveseat Lothario or Futon Fucker. Thank you.

[GoneOffShore]

19. Stealing all of those - And heading off to Facebook with them.

[still-prayin4rain]

22. ROFL!

[Pinback]

32. Nor does he subscribe to Ottomandate. (nt)

[Sneederbunk]

15. How would AP know? They weren't there.

[tinrobot]

17. Define "sex"

[Dem4life1234]

20. How did they know were they in his home?

[Captain Zero]

48. He writes about it in his book

Doesn't he?

It's what got it removed from library shelves. I heard.

[Hekate]

21. They were just good friends

[debm55]

38. friends with benefits

[Captain Zero]

49. They had a free use arrangement.

Haha.

[dameatball]

23. We can't ask the sofa. It fell out of a window.

Just trying to keep up here.

[lastlib]

24. Anybody remember that line from "The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance"?

"When the legend becomes facr, print the legend."

JD Vance had sex with his sofa. Legend become fact.

[surfered]

26. The sofa has made no comment

[lastlib]

30. IOW, it hasn't denied it......

So it could've happened...... A lot of people have SAID it happened......many FINE people....

[themaguffin]

27. She should make a statement/ad like the "I am not a witch" one

[underpants]

29. Snopes agrees but hey they make shit up all the time

this isn’t coming from anything close to a DNC organization but it’s ALL OVER TWITTER

https://www.snopes.com/fact-check/jd-vance-couch-cushions/

[Klarkashton]

31. "He did, everybody knows it. You know it, I know

It. Everybody knows it"

[IrishAfricanAmerican]

33. NSFW

[surfered]

34. Maybe the sofa was paid hush money

[notemason]

35. It was a sleeper sofa

that wouldn't open up for him

[Pinback]

36. Whatever you do, don't tell Vance about this couch

[lame54]

42. Is that the front or the back?

[BlueTsunami2018]

37. "We can't prove that he's a couchfucker."

“I know that, I just want to hear him deny it”

To paraphrase LBJ.

[Emile]

40. Just because they can't prove it, doesn't mean it's not true.

[lame54]

41. Then why are the quarters sticky?

[LuckyCharms]

44. Of course he didn't have sex with it. He "made love" to it. n/t

[bluesbassman]

45. Have they sat on every sofa he had access to?

I find that highly unlikely. I’m still going with him being a divan diddler until all settees are accounted for.

[Beastly Boy]

46. He resisted, and he prevailed

Despite the sofa being persistent in its demands.

[mucholderthandirt]

47. Sectional healing.

OMG. I'm done for the night. If I laugh any more my son is going to have me committed. Thanks for the ear worm!



Best smiley ever.

[Renew Deal]

50. Supposedly they retracted it.

Because they couldn't prove their original statement.

[surfered]

58. Correct. I'll post their retraction tomorrow AM

[BlueWaveNeverEnd]

51. good to know

[dem4decades]

52. If his pants were down and there wasn't any penetration, can it really be said he had sex?

Maybe Vance is just a dry hump chump for Trump?

[onandup]

53. But a recliner claims to have a sex video

Developing.

[Skittles]

54. ridiculous

they can only say he didn't SAY that

[Think. Again.]

55. Define "sex".

[getagrip_already]

56. What, vetting didn't turn up his blue couch problem?

Youd think they would do a better job of that.

[Kid Berwyn]

57. It was a settee.

It mighta been a divan.

Either way, VD Pance is a couchfucker.

[FlyingPiggy]

59. Omg. 😆😆😆

[Mountainguy]

60. Because he was having problems staying up?

I don't know, but a lot of people are saying it.