STOP THE COUCH NONSENSE! IT IS WRONG!

[Joe Cool]

It was a love seat.
Vance is a hetero-sectional.

[Think. Again.]

1. AND STOP THE "WEIRD" NONSENSE! IT'S WORKING!

[arlyellowdog]

2. That is so wrong

It was a sextional

[agingdem]

11. But was his "encounter" with the sextional

consensual?

[arlyellowdog]

15. Ohhh took me a minute

[Deek1935]

3. JV Vance's cock was couched between the cushions.

[Dock_Yard]

25. Well, it must have been a self-loveseat

[LuckyCharms]

4. You know who else fucks loveseats?

That's right...SATAN.

[underpants]

33. 🤔

[Turbineguy]

5. Couch Potato Veterans for the Truth!

[underpants]

39. 👍😆

[utopian]

6. I thought he was a furnie

[underpants]

35. 😆

[et tu]

37. furnies are saying

sir can i borrow your couch- it's the best couch
but i don't think vance is into sharing?

[prodigitalson]

65. he did it with a real dolphin

or something like that

[ArkansasDemocrat1]

67. Eeeeww

Ewww, that's Dirty. Depraved.
Poor little cetaceans. I wonder how many he's molested.

[Demobrat]

7. If loving a couch is wrong

he doesn’t want to be right.

[Celerity]

8. If Trump somehow strokes out in the next month, and Vance becomes top of the ticket, this bloke is the LAST one he would

choose for a running mate:

[Pinback]

19. LOL - good one (nt)

[ProfessorGAC]

21. Well Played! (nt)

[Gaytano70]

9. Good one

[The Magistrate]

10. It May Be Wrong To Say 'Couch', Sir

For such a weird fellow as Shady Vance, I suspect a couch is a bit too big, too grown up, if you catch my drift. I'd look to comfy chairs for evidence of such proclivities on his part....


"Hit 'em high! Hit 'em low! Kick 'em when they're down!"

[Ocelot II]

29. "Hit 'em high! Hit 'em low! Kick 'em when they're down!"

Then kick them hard in the nuts and spit in their eye.

[AnotherMother4Peace]

12. You got me. Vance & secret couch pleasures - whatever, as long as he's hetero-sectional (and OK w/his wife). nt

[ArkansasDemocrat1]

68. What if...his wife (shudder) -helps- ?

Is she a trafficking victim? It would be irresponsible not to speculate.

[BattleRow]

73. He's no slouch when it

comes to his secret pleasure pouch .

[Metaphorical]

13. Yes it IS WRONG

It is a Metro-sectional couch.

[Rubyshoo]

14. Leave Vladimir Futon Alone !!!

[Ocelot II]

30. Also Divan the Terrible.

[underpants]

41. 😆

[underpants]

54. Hey look, any davenport in a storm

[Demsrule86]

62. I may have an accident if I read anymore posts from laughing so hard.

[central scrutinizer]

16. What is your porpoise in posting this?

You ottoman up and explain.

[underpants]

42. Ooh!

[Emile]

79. hee hee

[Trueblue1968]

17. It was a LOVE SEAT. ...... Not.

[agingdem]

60. the guy wears eyeliner..

it was a transectional...definitely!!

[SarcasticSatyr]

18. Whatever you do . . .

don't refer to him as Vladimir Futon ...

[ouija]

20. It's a slippery slope into marriage with a love seat

[calimary]

24. It's gotta be the satin upholstery.

VERY slippery!

[Ocelot II]

31. Stolen velour.

[Dock_Yard]

28. Yes! Need a background check and a solid pre-nup.

[JustAnotherGen]

22. But but

He said he did not have sectional relations - so is had to be a couch or a love seat.

[Comfortably_Numb]

23. The drumph Vance ticket has lost its cushion. Outside the margin of error now.

[notemason]

26. I heard it was a sleeper sofa

that wouldn't open up for him.

[ProudMNDemocrat]

27. Hetero-sectional....LOVE IT!

My parents were too. They had a sectional.

[rambler_american]

32. He bought

a vibrating LaZ Boy and let the chair do the work. Now THAT's Lazy.

[Demsrule86]

63. Rec...

[Blue Owl]

34. I wish people would focus on his Guard experience instead

[The Unmitigated Gall]

36. His favorite upholstery fabric?

MICRO-fiber.

I'll see myself out.

[Maeve]

38. This is Sofa King ridiculous! Gawd, the puns keep coming!

[RoadRunner]

40. I'll try to couch this delicately

Saw this somewhere: Rick who created the couch meme says he thinks it has stuck to JD because he gives off a
“ couch-fucker” vibe.

[BlueWavePsych]

43. JD Vance is a WEIRDO and a PERV

[mercuryblues]

44. I recline your request

[anniebelle]

45. HaHaHa

[jayschool2013]

46. I hear that he's a frequent visitor

to the Quad Cities, specifically Davenport, Iowa.

[edisdead]

47. I heard he has a thing for La-Z-Boys

[BattleRow]

72. Has anyone established the gender

of the couch in question?

[CountAllVotes]

74. ...

& recommend.

[dameatball]

48. Instead of pillows his couch has bases.

[GoneOffShore]

49. Vance Corporal Press Release wants to revive the Ottoman Empire!

[niyad]

50. STOP,. . .DON'T STOP. Just wanted you all to know I was scaring my kitty!

[Tweedy]

51. Hold my coffee!

[karin_sj]

52. I read on Threads that he's "sectional sexual"

[sheshe2]

53. I hope he didn't have any off spring to support.

[lonely bird]

77. Hey!

Who knows how many footstools he refuses to acknowledge might be out there?

[sheshe2]

78. ...

[Otterdaemmerung]

55. You know, a futon in the same room allegedly witnessed his sectional harassment of the couch.

It would have testified in court, but it folded.

[tandem5]

56. I heard he has a second family squirreled away...

it's a dinette set.

[jaxexpat]

57. The real issue is, of course, did he use "scotch guard"?

We have quite enough mismatched ottomans already!

[Demsrule86]

64. Hillarious...and those who are upset about this thread...well if the couch fits am I right?

[jaxexpat]

66. The lines write themselves

[tavernier]

58. Perhaps it was a Chesterfield?

Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

[Clouds Passing]

59. I heard it was a lovesac

[regnaD kciN]

61. Love seat, baby, love seat...

Vance got him an ego, it’s as big as a whale,
And it’s about to set sail!

Love seat, it’s a little old couch where Vance can get into leather,
Love seat, bay-bee!

Bang, bang, bang on the couch, JD…

[No-Respect-In-TN]

75. Looking for a love getaway. Nicely done.

[DontBelieveEastisEas]

69. People are saying that there is a tape, where you can clearly hear his voice.

A couch says,
"Say my name and Come"
"SO FA"

After long moments of moaning and silence, you can hear him speak again with a hint of pride in his voice,
"I have come So fa"

[Demsrule86]

70. One of the speakers at the rally yesterday said...'stop hiding behind the couch' to Vance.

[Demsrule86]

71. Excellent post!!!!

[Richard D]

76. Deleted

Because it would offend some people.

[Bundbuster]

80. His big choice