If you were forced to eat at a restaurant with JD Vance, what would you say to him?

[geekboy009]

I'm afraid my words would be censored so cannot say.

[griffi94]

1. I wouldn't say much

I'd just show him pix of my couch.

[jeffreyi]

40. And the cat(s) on the couch.

[tetedur]

2. Who died and made you the arbiter of all that is insightful in the world?

[Ron Green]

3. "Here, take this pill with your food."

[getagrip_already]

4. Why are you always so angry, so hateful, so vengeful?

This is apparently nothing new. It goes back at least to your college days.

So what is eating you alive?

[obamanut2012]

5. I would throw my drink in his face and walk out

[PXR-5]

6. Excuse me...

"Excuse me"
And get up and leave...

[Shermann]

56. +1...make sure to leave him with the check though. nt

[Ocelot II]

7. What's your favorite upholstery fabric?

[Jrose]

8. My cat, that I brought with me, would like a tall glass of catnip.

[chouchou]

9. VOTE BLUE !

[Chakaconcarne]

10. Kiss my ass

[FullySupportDems]

11. Lost my appetite. Goodbye. Jerk.

I'd be mumbling curses on my way out the door.

[Hugin]

12. "Waitress! There's a fly in my soup and now the hillbilly wants one!"

“For God’s sake, man! Have some decency! Chew with your mouth shut!”

* slip the waitress an extra $20 and wink * “ I’ll have mine to go. You had better lock the window in the men’s room. This one’s a jumper.”

[Kid Berwyn]

13. What did the great American Hannibal Lecter say before eating his victims?

[In my best flaky spoiled brat Donald Trump temper tantrum impersonation voice:]

"A census taker once tried to test me. I ate his liver with some fava beans and a nice Chianti."

Then I'd LOLOL.

[Carlitos Brigante]

14. "WTF is the 'early couch special'?" nt

[DeepWinter]

15. Hmm

Pass your Bud's ketchup.

[OldBaldy1701E]

16. Well, to further the fantasy...

Let's say it is at a place like Fuddrucker's, or Portillo's or another such place where they call out your name when your food is ready. I would make sure to have my order for 'Mr. Couch' and take my sweet time going up to the counter. Some of the places like this are rather aggressive when it comes to getting the orders 'out the window', so they will say it over and over.

[2naSalit]

17. I would leave...

While saying as I walk past him,

"Man, that tr**p stench is nauseating!"

[Think. Again.]

18. "Shut up and eat".

[Aviation Pro]

19. Fuck any good couches lately, Flipper?

Yeah, that would be worth it.

[Celerity]

20. Why the fuck do you push a white nationalist agenda whilst being married to a woman of colour/having children of colour?

[PCIntern]

21. I'm gonna eat a big pasta meal so that

When I throw up on your shoes, it’ll be easier on my esophagus.

[ProudMNDemocrat]

22. "I would not eat that if I were you. That's cat meat."

[Dear_Prudence]

23. Forced to eat? 🤢

I remember the last time my dad forced one of us as kids to eat a dish we didn't like. My little brother ate the beans and then lost the beans all over the dinner table. So, no words from me, just involuntary 🤮 as I passed JD's table while trying to escape a forced encounter.

[misanthrope]

24. Unless I were forced to sit at his table and eat, I wouldn't say anything to him. **

**

[haele]

25. I wouldn't eat. I'd spend most of my time reading my phone

The only thing I'd ask him is "as a practicing, devout Catholic, which level of Dante's Hell does he expect to go to, or is he delusional enough to think he's going to end up in Limbo?"
Because he sure as hell isn't speaking or acting like a devout Catholic. He's acting like a Cafeteria Casual Christian, making deals with the God he supposedly believes in and ignoring the established rules of that God if he doesn't think it matters or benefits him.
The logical nature of Blasphemy is not simply taking God's name in vain.
Blasphemy is claiming you know the will of God and interpret it solely for your benefit, forcing others to obey you in God's name. Blasphemy is claiming you speak for God.

Haele

[Efilroft Sul]

26. "Try the pufferfish."

[Emile]

27. I would say please don't say anything, I don't want

you to ruin my meal.

[magicarpet]

28. Eat shit Nazi-boy,.. that is all that's on the menu for you.

Waiter,... separate checks please.

Bye-bye.

[claudette]

29. Easy

🤮

[Beastly Boy]

30. Taste my food before I eat it, JD

[Babywhale]

31. Some Obvious Questions.

A : Pass the salt?
B: You've got the check,right?
C: You looked kind of hot in drag.Do you still do that?

[GaYellowDawg]

32. I would say

1. Your book was terrible and does not reflect Appalachia. While you may have summered with your "mamaw, " you obviously didn't live the experience. You're a dilettante. Your book was a self-congratulatory paean that trashed an entire people whose community you only really lived on the edges of.

2. You talked about how proud you were to have an Ivy League education and that your "mamaw" helped you get it. When you went to Yale Law School, you'd had a tour with the Marines and an undergraduate degree from OSU. You were a grown-ass man and shouldn't have had to sponge off of your grandmother to go to law school. Shameful if you ask me. I thought Republicans had their own bootstraps.

3. Speaking of "mamaw," you really should stop using that word. Coming from someone with an Appalachian accent, it sounds genuine. Coming from you, it sounds contrived. It's pronounced "mamAW" with a hard "W," not "mam-ahh."

4. How do you live with yourself? You are willing to do anything and say anything in service of Peter Thiel and Donald Trump. Are you able to taste the food, or is all the shit you've eaten getting in the way? You know what you're saying is wrong when you say it. It's easy to see in your eyes. Doesn't it haunt you? Don't you know your kids are going to see these videos and know you for what you are? Are you as utterly amoral as Donald Trump? Do you want to raise kids that are as utterly amoral as his?

5. Stop talking. Shut the fuck up. I don't want to hear another self-justifying word from you.

[mahina]

33. I would ask him about his handlers

And talk about Rachel Maddow’s podcasts Prequel and Ultra.

?si=In3NJBLic1cazsnY

I would talk anout the American apologists for Malmedy, where during WWII in Dec 1944 captive US soldiers were viciously murdered, and then Americans of his bent supported the Nazis that did it.

?si=In3NJBLic1cazsnY

Warning, it is hard on the nerves. Trigger warning.

I would tell him we see him. We will not let them take us back.

[dem4decades]

34. What's it like being on the Titanic?

[ificandream]

35. I'd say, "Can you take this plate? I'm done with it."

(Note: The question didn't say he'd be eating at the restaurant. Just that he'd be there.)

[comradebillyboy]

36. I wouldn't say anything to him. I go to a restaurant to eat

not to harass other customers or make a scene.

[Rebl2]

37. Shut up

sit there like a good little boy and eat your meal and no back talking young man!

[Freethinker65]

38. Ask him if he ever reread his book.

Ask him about how he was so easily manipulated by the right (I believe he included a lot of it in his book and that is why I found it such a frustrating read). Ask him if he can remember a time when he was truly happy and not filled with hate.

Pretty sure he would agree with everything I said, but then return to agreeing with everything his bankrollers and think tank buddies say.

[Kaleva]

39. Nothing

I'd just eat my meal .

[milestogo]

41. Waiter, can you find me a table for one?

[eppur_se_muova]

42. "Here, try some honey on that biscuit" (while emptying tube of superglue). nt

[winstars]

43. CHECK PLEASE!!!

[-misanthroptimist]

44. "Nice chairs, aren't they?"

[ProfessorGAC]

45. "Just Shut Up, Man"

I'd be in good company with that line.

[JuJuChen]

46. "Can we sit at a table and not a booth?"

[geekboy009]

49. love it

[no_hypocrisy]

47. Do you like your possum fried or cooked in wine?

[Hekate]

48. I would ignore the hell out of his Secret Service-protected ass

With the exception of a dirty look

[Torchlight]

50. "Grade school across the street; are you allowed to be here?"

[RandySF]

51. "Go away."

[BlueKota]

52. Did you ever read or had the New Testament read to you?

Were the things that, Jesus Christ, the man you profess to follow, preached like forgiveness and love, just too woke for you? If your answer is yes, are you sure, you're being honest with yourself and the public about actually being a Christian?

[Zoomie1986]

73. He's following his lard and savior just fine

Maybe you're the one who needs to read all of what he said and did. Start with that classic MAGA act of that lard and savior assaulting the money lenders for offending him.

Nearly every Christian I've encountered not only bragged about him doing that, but thought attacking those moneylenders was a good and proper thing to do. So much for meek and mild and turning the other cheek.

And that's not the only instance of horrible behavior from him.

But yeah, keep propping up that fantasy that there is no relation between the behavior of hateful, violent people who follow a person who committed a hateful violent act like that.

[maxsolomon]

53. Where do you actually live in Ohio?

It ain't Middletown.

[Bundbuster]

54. I'd say

[msongs]

55. make sure yuo get separate checks nt

[The Wizard]

57. stop talking

[Paladin]

58. "I hear this place has a first-rate shit sandwich. Why not give it a try?" (nt)

[Diamond_Dog]

59. " As a lifelong Ohioan,

you haven taken shaming Ohio to new heights. Why don’t you move down to Mar a Lago permanently so you can kiss Donny’s fat ass every day. That’s all you seem interested in doing.”

[DBoon]

60. "Thank you for paying for my meal..."

"... If you don't mind, I will order a bottle of the most expensive wine here"

[Figarosmom]

61. You know

He will have you killed, don't you? He will blame you for any loss.

[pat_k]

62. Message from an Unhuman:

Hello, I'm one of 50 to 75 million American Unhumans you and your hero Posobeic would like to see terrorized or murdered in your Christian Nationalist take over of the United States. I have one message for you: You will soon be history and a cautionary tale to future generations of how we must remain forever vigilant against all who threaten the true American values represented in our declaration of independence and constitution.
.

[WestMichRad]

63. Just press "record" and let him rant.

Maybe an occasional question about women’s rights to keep him stirred up.
What’s the over/under on how many times he shoves his foot in his mouth?

[Initech]

64. So which couch is more attractive - leather, zebra, or floral?

[LeftInTX]

65. Please don't eat in front of me

[pecosbob]

66. Which hospital would you prefer?

[a kennedy]

67. 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮 🤮

Bye J D.

[Xolodno]

68. MEOW!!!!!

[onethatcares]

69. "there's no way I'm sitting here

mt

[Bantamfancier]

70. Go ahead.

Eat the soup. I DARE you!

[BlueWaveNeverEnd]

71. lives are of equal value.. no matter the number of cats owned or babies birthed.

[WarGamer]

72. If this was a real opportunity...

I'd ask him how he went from USMC to meeting Peter Thiel, becoming a Venture Capitalist and ending up in GOP politics.

His book reads like a BIO of a Democratic politician...

(for those that don't know... the book ends before that stage of his life)