Top 10 Conservative Idiots #17-4: The Silence Of The MAGAs Edition

[Top 10 Idiots]

Last edited Thu Aug 22, 2024, 07:52 PM - Edit history (1)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #17-4: The Silence Of The MAGAs Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Yoooooooooooooooooooooo!!! What’s up Edmonton, how are you guys doing? You doing fucking good? Great! Yeah, sold us out! How about that? So you might be wondering what the fuck happened last week! Well… so are we! Apparently, our server maintenance person screwed up the backup and somehow got tons of data corrupted in the process and we just flat out lost last week’s edition, which was well over ½ done. And it all got lost. Needless to say, the people responsible for that catastrophe have been appropriately sacked. Now that’s over with and it’s been a week, you guys ready to have some fun? And boy it’s been fun watching MAGA just simply implode since Biden stepped down and Harris is taking over the reins. But yes we will have plenty of that as our program goes on this week! Do we have time for the thing? Of course we do! So it’s no secret that we’re from Southern California. Which of course is home to one of the most popular fast food chains in the entire world – In N Out. And In-N-Out isn’t just known for its’ burgers and fries – it’s also known for its’ “hidden menu”. Well, apparently some on Instagram are attempting to “hack” the menu, and some have been trying to make a menu item called “Monkey Style” – which is a combination of a hidden menu item called the “Frying Dutchman” – essentially just a fancy way of ordering a plain Double Double combined with their famous Animal Style french fries. And In N Out has basically shut this one down, along with the absurd idea of ordering a Neapolitan style shake, which has all three flavors of shake in it. So yeah… while they generally take some pretty crazy requests, don’t just make shit up, because apparently they don’t really have a sense of humor about that sort of thing. OK, enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first John Oliver is back and he talks about the ways that RFK Jr could sway the election, and none of it is good!

So where do we begin this week? Well in the number one slot, now that it’s official, we have to talk about the actual Democratic ticket (1), which is going to be Harris and Minnesota governor Tim Walz, who everyone agrees is the cool dad that Murdoch and Limbaugh stole from us. In the second slot, we have to talk about the new dynamic duo of the internet – Donald Trump and Elon Musk (2). Yes, the CEO of everything has officially outed himself as a Trump fanboy (ugh), but his first major interview on the platform formerly known as Twitter was an utter disaster! And wait until you see how they’re attempting to justify it! But did it pay off? No. And because of this interview and press conference, he’s definitely taking a serious hit from his most die hard dude bro supporters, who are now flocking to… RFK Jr? Yes, RFK Jr (3) may be the deciding factor in how the election plays out, but definitely not the way you might think it’s going to go. In the number 4 slot this week, we have a brand new segment: Revisionist History (4)! It seems that MAGA just cannot let go of 2020, and if anyone remembers, Minneapolis was at the center of the George Floyd protests, but did the rioters burn the city to the ground like MAGA reported on? Well if you guessed they were the cause of the destruction… you’re correct! Taking the 5th slot this week is a new “We’re All Gonna Die” (5) and this week, the answer to the question “Is it hot in here or is it just you?” is “Yes, it is hot as fuck here, and it’s everybody, not just you!”. Yes, it’s hot and it’s only going to get hotter. In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6), and this week, our resident pastor has been glued to MAGA extremist Joel Webbon’s podcast, and if you wonder if they will go full Nazi should they ever regain the White House, well, you haven’t seen nothing yet, and this guy is an indicator of where that party is headed! In the number 7 slot this week, we’ve got a new Beating A Dead Horse (7)! So why was the Olympics opening ceremony so controversial? Were drag queens recreating The Last Supper or were they recreating some Greek gods? Well it’s a little column A, a little column B. Taking the number 8 slot this week is of course our weekly venture into the never ending world of online tin foil hat nuttery in Conspiracy Corner (8) and this week, what’s Trump’s bizarre obsession with fictional serial killer Hannibal Lecter? We have to do a deep dive into this subject. In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, is a new I Need A Drink (9) and this week, the 2024 Olympic games in Paris, France are still a thing, and you may have heard of French pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati’s now infamous gigantic bulge that cost him an opportunity for a medal – so what was it, exactly? We have our theories! Finally this week, it’s time for our weekly election roundup coverage in “Road To The White House”, and we have to talk about JD Vance and his history of extreme comments. Yeah it’s going to get real dark real fast! And to cap things off, we have some live music from the legendary Cage The Elephant joining us! Buy their new album “Neon Pill” or you are no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]The Ticket: Harris / Walz
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You know, occasionally, we do like to talk about some good things happening in the world right now. We don’t want you to think that this whole show is about negativity, oh no! Because what kind of hosts would that make us? Not very good ones if you ask us! The news moves so fast in this world right now that it seems like an eternity ago that Joe Biden dropped out of the race and Kamala Harris rose to the top of the Democratic party ticket. But really, it was just a mere 15 days ago. Time can sure be a menace, can’t it? All things being said, we have to talk about Tim Walz. Yes, he’s the cool social studies teacher that lets you watch Simpsons episodes in class. And he’s also the cool dad that Rupert Murdoch and Rush Limbaugh took away from us. But perhaps one of Walz’ biggest selling points is that he’s a former veteran of the US National Guard and served 24 years. That’s a hell of a long time! But of course, you know it’s been 20 years now since Fox News stole election momentum from John Kerry with that stupid Swift Boat bullshit nonsense, and don’t think they won’t try to do it again!

This election year has been the most unpredictable in generations. Since the start, pundits and commentators have compared 2024 to 1968. Aside from the DNC being held in Chicago, there are plenty of other parallels. In just the past few weeks, the sitting president has dropped out of the race, his vice president has become the Democratic nominee, and her opponent was the subject of an assassination attempt.

Now, America is getting to know Harris' running mate and current Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz. In many ways, Walz is the perfect pick in a chaotic year. He's a father, a former teacher and coach, and a man who retired from the National Guard after 24 years of service. Compared to the Republican VP pick, J.D. Vance, Walz is a friendly and likable person—someone voters can feel comfortable talking to no matter what they do, what they look like, or where they come from.

That's why Walz's opponents are coming hard for him, because his broad and authentic appeal is a threat in this tight race. Political campaigns can be rough. But attacking Walz's military record is disgusting and unacceptable.

Let's start with the accusation against Walz and look at just how insane it is. According to Vance, Walz deserted his command as his unit was set to deploy. After more than two decades of service—according to the Silicon Valley venture capitalist—Walz got out of the military just in time to avoid a tour of duty.
https://www.newsweek.com/go-swiftboat-yourself-tim-walz-served-honorably-opinion-1938715

Seriously, Fox News has been controlling the narrative on right wing bullshit for so long they think the US government is their own personal property! But we can’t let them get away with it, like they’ve been getting away with it in the past. But nevertheless, this is a great win for the Democratic party and for progress. But perhaps one of Tim Walz’ most redeeming qualities is that he is the real alpha male that the MAGA dude bros could never aspire to! Yes, while the right wing dude bro sphere is in a tizzy over who is the more manly man who’s ever manned, Tin Walz is a guy who is out there getting shit done, and he is kicking ass and taking names!

Since Tuesday, when Vice President Kamala Harris introduced Minnesota Governor Tim Walz as her running mate, Republicans have scaled back their initial attacks on Harris’ race and gender. Instead, they have targeted the traditional signifiers of Walz’s masculinity.

It’s hardly surprising. Any liberal Democrat whose resume includes football coach, military veteran and sharp-shooting hunter is a challenge to MAGA mythology, which posits that liberalism and feminism threaten traditional masculinity, so you’d better vote Republican before marauding Amazons take your endangered man card away.

At their packed campaign launch in Philadelphia on Tuesday, Harris lauded “Coach” Walz, honored his veteran status and beamed with pride that Walz “was known as one of Capitol Hill’s best marksmen, winning a bipartisan sharpshooting contest year after year.”

Those traditional manly traits are threatening enough on their own. But if such a marksman, state-title-winning football coach and regular guy can happily play second fiddle to a Black woman running for president, then what does that say about MAGA’s efforts to reverse-engineer the 21st century? After all, if a middle-aged, heterosexual White guy who likes to hunt doesn’t have to live in constant fear of losing status and doesn’t need traditional gender and racial hierarchies to validate his life choices, then what does he need Donald Trump and JD Vance for?

https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2024-08-09/tim-walz-isn-t-a-typical-democrat-that-scares-republicans

Even Gov. Walz’ dog… yes, his DOG! Has more charm and charisma than Donald Trump ever would or could! And while Trump goes off on his bizarre tirade about being in a helicopter nearly crashing to death with former San Francisco mayor Willie Brown (he wasn’t) and drawing sharpies around the projected damage area of a hurricane, Tim Walz actually knows where shit is, and – wait for it – he can locate things on a map! Yes, this could actually come in handy should the US face a crisis – and it’s something that Donald Trump could never hope to achieve. Yes, see that kids? When you elect people who know shit, things get done, and we can have nice things in the United States!

Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz really, really likes maps.

The former Mankato geography teacher, now a vice presidential candidate, identifies as a “GIS nerd” and proclaimed November 15, 2023 as Geographic Information Systems day, writing that an understanding of maps and data “helps community leaders and government officials make data-driven decisions” governing important policy issues like education, public safety and the environment.

Over the past several years Walz has given several addresses at conferences hosted by ESRI, the company that makes leading GIS software ArcGIS. Part stump speech and part GIS infomercial, the talks underscore how maps shaped Walz’s understanding of the world as a young educator and member of Congress, and how he now relies on them as the “tools” to implement the ambitious policy agenda crafted by Minnesota’s DFL trifecta this term.

“The end product of these maps is a more sustainable economy, a more sustainable environment, and lifting up of people’s lives in a way that they can thrive,” he said as part of the keynote of an ESRI conference in mid-July. ...............(more)

https://michiganadvance.com/2024/08/13/former-geography-teacher-tim-walz-is-really-into-maps/

Yeah so Tim Walz is a guy who has served our country honorable, is a cool teacher, and is a guy who actually knows shit. So we got to admit that it’s been fun watching the Harris / Walz ticket gain momentum while Trump is circling the bottom of the biggest drain. And Walz is the exact opposite of JD Vance. Vance is a creepy fucking weirdo who may or may not have had sex with a couch. You don’t know, man! You don’t know! But needless to say – those of you who were dreading a repeat of 2020 can rest easier now knowing that the race is that much more exciting! Needless to say, it’s going to be extremely fun to watch Walz trounce Vance in the VP debates!

Gov. Tim Walz on Wednesday agreed to participate in a vice presidential debate hosted by CBS News on Oct. 1 in New York City.

Former President Donald Trump's campaign has not yet agreed to the date, leaving GOP Sen. JD Vance's participation in question.

Earlier in the day, CBS News proposed four dates for a debate between the two vice presidential nominees: Sept. 17, Sept. 24, Oct. 1, and Oct. 8. The Harris-Walz campaign soon agreed to the Oct. 1 date.

"See you on October 1, JD," Walz wrote on X.

A date for the vice presidential debate has been in limbo since the spring, when CBS News first extended the invitation to both presidential campaigns. In May, President Biden's campaign said Vice President Kamala Harris, who was still his running mate at the time, was willing to face off against the eventual Republican vice presidential nominee on either July 23 or Aug. 13.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/vp-debate-tim-walz-jd-vance/

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump & Elon Musk
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It feels like it was an eternity ago, but it’s only been 15 days since Joe Biden announced that he was dropping out of the 2024 election and not seeking reelection. Time can seriously fuck with your head, can’t it? I know, right? Since then, we’ve seen a newly energized democratic party turn out in droves to support vice president Kamala Harris’ meteoric rise to the top of the party to seek out the nomination for president with the cool teacher that lets you watch Simpsons episodes during class, Tim Walz as her running mate. So what does that mean for Donald Trump? Well, his popularity is dwindling. He recently booked a speaking gig in Asheville, North Carolina – a famously MAGA stronghold in an otherwise blue state, but couldn’t even get 7,200 people. His plane flying to Bozeman for last week’s rally got diverted because he failed to pay the bills from the last rally he held there. Don’t worry, we’ll get to that next week, I promise! But what’s been grabbing the headlines this week – a much publicized interview with Twitter / Space X / Tesla / Starlink CEO Elon Musk. Yes, when not attending to his 8,000,000 other jobs, ol’ Muskrat has been busy fanboying and whoring out for Donald Trump to become supreme leader of the United States. But the interview was an absolute disaster, and there’s only one guy we can thank for that.

Former President Donald Trump's planned interview with Elon Musk got off to a difficult start on Monday as Musk claimed that a cyberattack prevented users from accessing the interview on X, formerly Twitter.

Trump and Musk, who purchased the platform in late 2022 and has endorsed the former president, teased the "talk" on X Spaces extensively before it was set to take place at 8 p.m. Eastern time on Monday.

However, when the time came, the link displayed only a "Space Not Available" message for most users. It was unclear whether the conversation started, as the Spaces link was still inaccessible as of 8:23 p.m.

Musk claimed that a cyberattack was to blame in a post at 8:18 p.m., writing the following: "There appears to be a massive DDOS attack on X. Working on shutting it down. Worst case, we will proceed with a smaller number of live listeners and post the conversation later."
https://www.newsweek.com/elon-musk-says-cyberattack-shut-down-donald-trump-x-interview-1938279

Uh… wasn’t us! But yes, Musk declared that their interview was delayed by what’s called a “DDOS” – Direct Denial Of Service attack. For those of you who might be unfamiliar with that term – it’s basically when a server gets flooded with fake traffic and is forced to shut down. It could have been a problem for the interview, but it really wasn’t. In fact, Musk attributed the failure to the rumors that it could have been coming from the democratic party. Really? You think any of us actually care about this bullshit right now enough to pull a stunt like that? No, we’re too busy doing that thing called “winning”, so get used to it!

The “conversation”, as Musk has put it, faced technical hurdles less than an hour into its start as some listeners were confronted with the error message: “This Space is not available,” referring to X’s live audio streaming feature, Spaces.

X users reported that websites crashed after clicking on the Spaces link. The interview was hosted on Donald Trump’s official X account.

Musk, in an X post, said his team was working to shut down the interruption. He also said the X team had earlier in the day conducted stress tests on the system with eight million concurrent users, but did not provide details of the test, or more information on the source of the alleged attacks.

Some 40 minutes after the scheduled start, users reported being able to access the link again and listen to the interview. The chat lasted about two hours, with about a million listeners listening in real time.

The billionaire entrepreneur appeared to hint that the attack came from the US Democratic Party. He responded “Yeah” to an X post that sarcastically claimed Democrats were “fighting to save Democracy” with the attacks, but did not provide proof.
https://www.aljazeera.com/news/2024/8/13/whats-ddos-the-cyberattack-musk-claims-disrupted-trumps-interview

Yeah so let this be a lesson – everything Trump touches dies! He’s literally the reverse of King Midas – or as we like to call him – King Mierdas. Mierda is of course, the Spanish word for “shit”. Don’t think we needed to explain that one here, but you never know. But here’s the difference between the two parties that we also need to explain. Kamala Harris can hold a virtual event where nearly 30,000 people show up, and – one – it works, and two – people actually show up! Real people too, not bot accounts for foreign intelligence agencies who are bent on flipping the election. Also, number 3 – the Harris campaign actually follows those weird things called, you know, laws. Trump on the other hand, may have broken a law or two with this one.

Trump-Musk interview a 'brazen' violation of federal election laws: FEC complaint

A Democratic-aligned political action committee filed a complaint with federal election regulators accusing Donald Trump, his campaign and the social media site X of violating federal election laws during Trump's interview with tech billionaire Elon Musk.

Trump's lengthy interview with Musk on Monday "violated" federal rules banning corporations from making contributions to federal candidates, and barring federal candidates from accepting such contributions, alleged the complaint filed Tuesday by the group End Citizens United.

The group said the interview "amounted to a virtual campaign event for Donald J. Trump financed by X.

"Such a brazen corporate contribution undermines the anti-corruption aims of the Act, and the [Federal Election] Commission should immediately investigate these violations and take appropriate remedial action," the complaint said.
https://www.rawstory.com/elon-musk-donald-trump/

Yes, damn right he sucks. And Trump may have violated a law or two. But really, who the fuck can keep track of all the laws he’s violated so far? It would take a giant binder to figure all of that out. So what do you do when your interview fucks up that badly that you need to hit the reset button? Well, if you’re Donald Trump, you head back to your private golf course bunker where you can say batshit crazy, unfiltered and unchecked shit to your personal megaphone, and there won’t be anything they can do about it. But like really, do we need to have breaking news when Trump speaks for the 8,514,692,956th time? The only thing that’s going to be “breaking” is my monitor when I throw it out the window! What would really be breaking news is him shutting up for once!

Donald Trump's announcement that he'll host a press conference Thursday at his New Jersey golf club had laughing critics predicting Wednesday it will be a political swing and a miss.

The Trump National Golf Club Bedminster event, slated to begin at 4:30 p.m., arrives about a week after Trump gave a slew of questionable answers to reporters' questions in a press event at Mar-a-Lago, his Florida social club.

Those answers included claims that Trump's "Stop the Steal" rally was better attended than Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.'s historic "I Have a Dream" speech and he almost crashed in a helicopter with Willie Brown.

Trump's invitation spurred several satirical rewrites and much mockery.
https://www.rawstory.com/bedminster-trump-press-conference/

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[font size="8"]RFK Jr
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The internet has something for everyone. But one small subsection of the internet has been getting a lot of press lately for how they could potentially sway the election. And it’s one that we love to give a hard time to, and have been giving a hard time to since we discovered it exists. And that is the white alpha male racist / sexist / misogynist / homophobic sect who appeal to mostly white males in their 20s, 30s and 40s about how much more of a man they are than the next guy. This includes such famous influencers as Andrew Tate, Joe Rogan, Kyle Rittenhouse, Alex Jones, and of course, our old buddy Nick Adams (see: Idiots #13-17 ). Yes, these guys who pride themselves on their bulging manliness, traditionally vote hardline conservative, but since Joe Biden dropped out of the 2024 election, and Trump has been consistently floundering one disaster after another, it has even the most hardcore internet dude bros rethinking their life choices. Most famously, one of the internet’s biggest trolls, 2020 protest murderer Kyle Rittenhouse, who became a right wing MAGA cause celeb after he was acquitted in the said murders, found himself questioning whether or not to continue supporting Trump, and considered supporting RFK Jr instead. Needless to say, Rittenhouse got exactly the warm reception you’d think he would get from MAGA. Oh wait, it was the exact opposite – he got hammered to the point where he had to walk back his suggestion.

Conservative campaigner Kyle Rittenhouse has promised to support Donald Trump in November's US election, reversing comments hours earlier that he would vote against him because he was "bad" at protecting gun rights.

Mr Rittenhouse, now 21, shot dead two men during racial unrest in Kenosha, Wisconsin, in August 2020. He was cleared of all charges the following year after arguing self-defence.

Instead of Trump, he said he planned to write in former Libertarian presidential nominee Ron Paul on the ballot.

Trump has repeatedly vowed to protect Americans' right to own guns and to roll back Biden-era restrictions on firearms.
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cgrlrzw5550o

Yes, d’oh! Needless to say, someone who actually has influence in the MAGA sphere actually shook things up a bit. Even worse – another guy who could actually tip the election in someone’s favor is Joe Rogan. Yes, the UFC commentator and podcaster who has some 3,000,000 followers actively questioned his support for Donald Trump. Which, uh oh, we’re not sure his boss Dana White – an avid Trumpster who has been seen with Trump at numerous UFC events in Miami – will like this. So how did this affect Joe Rogan’s show? Well let’s just say that nothing was really lost and nothing was really gained, either, but it had the same effect it did on Rittenhouse. The MAGA wing of the internet was pissed off… for about a day and a half. Then they resumed to doing… whatever the fuck this is.

Podcaster Joe Rogan drew the ire of former President Donald Trump after he commended Independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. during an episode last week, which led many to believe it was an endorsement for Kennedy.

Shortly after Rogan criticized Democrats and Republicans for misleading voters, and called Kennedy "reasonable," in an episode of "The Joe Rogan Experience" Thursday, he quickly denied that it was an endorsement for Kennedy.

"For the record, this isn’t an endorsement. This is me saying that I like RFK Jr as a person, and I really appreciate the way he discusses things with civility and intelligence. I think we could use more of that in this world," Rogan wrote in a post on X.

"I also think Trump raising his fist and saying “fight!” after getting shot is one of the most American (expletive) things of all time. I’m not the guy to get political information from. If you want that from a comic, go to @ComicDaveSmith. He actually knows what he’s talking about," he continued.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2024/08/12/joe-rogan-rfk-endorsement-speculation-angers-trump/74765742007/

Yeah come on, Joe! You can’t walk it back! We have the receipts! So that begs the question – could RFK Jr – who is currently polling at *checks notes* 0% - actually have enough sway with the MAGA dude bros of the internet to sway the election? Well that’s a very tricky gray area that pollsters are researching the same question. If you saw our obligatory John Oliver clip at the beginning of this show, you know that RFK Jr could potentially draw votes from both sides of the aisle – something that 3rd party candidates have never been able to do in any election. But there’s also no secret that RFK Jr is a completely deranged and mentally unstable person who shouldn’t be allowed even a shred of power, because you know it won’t be used for good!

This summer has been especially turbulent for a presidential election. So you may have lost track of one of the candidates with no chance of winning but a real chance of influencing the outcome: Robert F. Kennedy Jr.

After all, former President Donald Trump survived an assassination attempt at a July 13 rally and then promised to campaign with a more unifying tone, which he then quickly abandoned.

Then President Joe Biden, the guy who beat Trump in 2020, dropped his bid for a second term on July 21 amid Democratic Party concerns about his capacity to campaign, and endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris.

That's a lot of history to squeeze into one summer. And we still have about 13 weeks until the election!

Kennedy had a bumpy summer of a different sort, with a cavalcade of controversy. Still, his no-shot bid for the presidency could shift the race for the eventual winner.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/opinion/columnist/2024/08/12/rfk-jr-election-third-party-vote-trump-harris/74718488007/

Yes, so that is a problem and also a danger of running 3rd party. You won’t win because you won’t have the support. But you could potentially draw voters from either candidate running for the Democrats or Republicans. And having a dark horse candidate like RFK Jr could potentially draw a literal nightmare scenario for either Harris or Trump – but considering he’s drawing votes from Trump, that could sway the election for Harris. To our foreign friends who might be confused about what I’m saying the 3rd party effect is – I’ve got two words for you: it’s complicated! But could RFK Jr potentially damage Trump’s campaign and sway the election in favor of Kamala Harris? Well that’s something that only time will tell, and we’ve got less than 100 days left! But one thing is for certain – there is a huge possibility that MAGA dude bros could hurt their dear leader’s chances of being reelected!

Robert Kennedy Jr.’s independent presidential campaign is in decline. But his presence in the election remains significant, and it looks like he could be a major thorn in former President Donald Trump’s side should he stay in the race through Election Day.

For many months Kennedy was averaging around 10% in national presidential polls that matched him up against Trump and President Joe Biden. After Biden dropped out and Vice President Kamala Harris emerged as his replacement, Kennedy’s support swiftly halved, and he’s averaging around 5% in the polls now.

Kennedy has been participating in conferences and events, but he has otherwise vanished from the campaign trail for over a month, NBC News reports. And Nicole Shanahan, his running mate, campaign funder and valiant warrior against demonic control of the federal government, has been missing from the campaign stump for even longer.
https://www.msnbc.com/opinion/msnbc-opinion/rfk-jr-trump-harris-third-party-election-rogan-rcna166263

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[font size="8"]Revisionist History: Did Minnesota Burn?
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Welcome to our new segment: Revisionist History! So the history that we specifically want to talk about – the right wing just cannot let go of what happened in the year 2020. It’s like some kind of weird space vortex where time and logic cease to exist. Does everyone remember 2020? We were locked in our homes and couldn’t go anywhere because of COVID-19. Events and mass gatherings around the world were shut down for the foreseeable future. There were riots, there were lockdowns. There was… I don’t know whatever the fuck this was, but it was there. With Trump attempting to become president again, the right wing has been busy rewriting exactly what happened in 2020. But unlike other revisionist history programs, we’ve got the receipts! So the specific piece of revisionist history that we want to talk about this week – with Kamala Harris selecting Minnesota governor Tim Walz as her running mate, the right wing media has been turning their attention to what exactly happened in 2020. Now if anyone remembers, Minneapolis, the capital of Minnesota, was the center of the George Floyd riots that nearly brought the city to its’ knees in 2020. Or did it? Well, the narrative entirely depends on what your late night talk show of choice is.

Gov. Tim Walz is facing criticism from the Republican presidential ticket that he's to blame for Minneapolis burning in 2020. Sen. JD Vance, Donald Trump's running mate, claims Walz "actively encouraged" rioters.

It's a change from June of that year, when then-President Trump said to Walz on a call, "I was very happy with the last couple of days, Tim."

After George Floyd was murdered by a Minneapolis police officer on Monday, May 25, a video showing what happened was posted early the next morning and seen around the world.

Later that Tuesday morning, the governor tweeted, "We will get answers and seek justice."

Protests turned tense that night, and the next day, Wednesday, Walz said, "I was saddened to see some of the protesters were in harm's way last night and I just want to encourage everyone to be safe, especially in light of the COVID-19 pandemic."
https://www.cbsnews.com/minnesota/news/jd-vance-tim-walz-2020-riots-in-minneapolis-fact-check/

Yeah seriously, what the fuck is going on here? Does anyone actually remember what happened? Yeah we were all horrified by the riots and destruction of property and all the other crazy shit that happened during that year. But here’s a part of the story you didn’t see. Remember that incident when Trump and his idiot supporters attempted to stop violent protests with more violence and he famously held that Bible upside down? Well guess what? In a rare show of actually praising someone, Trump had a phone call that day where he praised Gov. Walz and his handling of the riots. Yeah, Trump actually gave out a very rare compliment! How noble of him. Sarcasm.

While former President Donald Trump and running mate JD Vance have been hammering Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz over his response to the violence that erupted after George Floyd’s murder, Trump told the governor at the time that he fully agreed with how Walz handled it.

“What they did in Minneapolis was incredible. They went in and dominated, and it happened immediately,” Trump told Walz and other governors and officials in a phone call on June 1, 2020. The Associated Press on Wednesday obtained an audio recording of the call, which has taken on new significance now that Walz has been tapped as Vice President Kamala Harris’ running mate against Trump and Vance.

Other administration officials on the call included Defense Secretary Mark Esper; Army Gen. Mark Milley, chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff; and Attorney General William Barr.

ABC News reported on the call earlier Wednesday, a day after Harris introduced Walz as her vice presidential pick. CNN posted a transcript of the call back in 2020.
https://apnews.com/article/tim-walz-trump-audio-riots-george-floyd-3b349ec2a8611f242333b76512a82d4f

Thank you Nelson! But here’s the thing – we all know that the right wing owns a large majority of the media outlets in this country. Whether it’s three 24/7 news networks, 2,500 broadcast TV stations, 2,500 AM radio stations, and a variety of internet content creators like Infowars, Real America’s Voice, and War Room – right wing propaganda is highly specialized. And also highly suspect. So despite that Kamala Harris and Tim Walz are surging in popularity since Joe Biden stepped aside, we’re not out of the woods yet. The right wing is attempting to own the narrative on what exactly happened in Minneapolis in 2020, and we can’t let them get away with it. The fact checkers must be working triple overtime shifts, it must be exhausting!

Records show that Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz activated the National Guard during the unrest following George Floyd's murder, not former President Trump.

Former president and Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump mentioned Walz during a rally in St. Cloud, Minnesota, on July 27. At the 29-minute mark of this livestream from the rally, he talks about how Walz handled the unrest that followed the murder of George Floyd by a Minneapolis police officer in May 2020. Trump claimed he deployed the National Guard to protests after Floyd’s murder, rather than Walz.

“Immediately every voter in Minnesota needs to know that when the violent mobs of anarchists and looters and Marxists came to burn down Minneapolis four years ago, remember me?” Trump says to the crowd. “I couldn’t get your governor to act. He’s supposed to call in the National Guard or the Army and he didn’t do it … So I sent in the National Guard.”

[...]

Violent protests erupted in Minneapolis in the days after George Floyd’s murder in 2020. In response to the unrest, Gov. Tim Walz ordered the state’s National Guard to be deployed to Minneapolis and St. Paul. Despite his recent remarks on the campaign trail, former President Donald Trump did not deploy the National Guard to Minneapolis in 2020.
https://www.10tv.com/article/news/verify/donald-trump/no-trump-did-not-deploy-national-guard-to-violent-2020-protests-in-minneapolis/536-11a20043-7df6-4e9c-9dd0-6bfa01dd1746

Yeah so despite what the right wing doesn’t know about the United States Constitution – and they really don’t know a lot, which is weird, when you consider these are the most flag waving America folks who’ve ever America’d. Well, despite what Trump fans think, the president is not an emperor or a king or a dictator. Yes, because we have our guaranteed 1st amendment right to freedom of speech in this country, the right wing can say anything they want. They can criticize Tim Walz and his handling of the George Floyd riots, just like we have the right to fact check their criticism of Gov. Walz. Nevertheless, the attacks are coming fast and furious, and we only have less than 100 days left to the election, so strap in, it’s gonna be a long one!

Minnesota Governor Tim Walz's selection as the Democratic vice presidential contender has thrust his handling of racial justice protests following the 2020 murder of George Floyd back into the spotlight, drawing both criticism and praise for his state's response during one of the most tumultuous periods concerning race relations in U.S. history.

As Democratic presidential candidate Kamala Harris' running mate, Walz's actions in the aftermath of Floyd's killing by a white Minneapolis police officer are being criticized by allies of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump and far-right pundits who say he was too slow to mobilize law enforcement to stop looting, arson and violence that accompanied protests in Minneapolis.
Meanwhile, supporters have praised him for being instrumental in prosecuting the officers involved in Floyd's murder.

Walz and his team have said they dealt with the issues as best they could, including by deploying the National Guard. The two-term governor acknowledged his decision to delay deploying the National Guard and called the city's response an "abject failure," during a press conference a few days after protests gripped the Twin Cities and the greater Minneapolis area, causing extensive damage to buildings, businesses, and a police precinct that was overrun by rioters and set ablaze.
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/tim-walzs-handling-george-floyd-protests-put-spotlight-2024-08-07/

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[font size="8"]We’re All Gonna Die
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Hey everyone, guess what? We’re all gonna die! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! WOOOOOOOOO!! WOOO. WOOO. WOO. So what’s going to kill us all this week, you might ask? Well, I answer you – it’s the hottest summer that never ends! Yes, you might remember a couple of weeks ago, we asked “Is it hot in here or is it just you?”. And the answer is – both, it is hot in here, but it is not just you! While most media outlets called the summer of 2023 the hottest summer on record, it seems like 2024 is looking to break 2023’s record, and who knows what’s in store for 2025? Those of us who survive 2024 will know the answer to that question! But let’s take a look at the current hottest place on Earth – Death Valley, California, which is a short drive from our home offices in Santa Ana. Yes, it’s fucking hot there. When we talked about this two weeks ago, it was so hot that it was literally melting skin! So how do the residents of this area put up with it? Of course that’s assuming they have any residents left! Well Death Valley is close to setting the world record for the hottest temperature ever! Wooooooooooooo!!! We did it everybody, success success! USA! USA!

The heat is close to unbearable in much of Southern California, but if you’re a weather history buff, at least there’s a silver lining. Death Valley may break its own record for hottest temperature ever recorded on Earth.

The current record for the highest reliably measured temperature is 130, set at Death Valley in August 2020 and July 2021, according to Scientific American.

That temperature could be reached again on Monday or Tuesday, with probabilities hovering in the 20-to-25% range.
Map shows ‘extreme’ heat danger zones in California this week

For comparison, 131 degrees will cook sous vide a sirloin or ribeye to medium-rare in two hours, according to the Daily Beast.

To be fair, temperatures of 134 and 136 have been recorded, though issues with the instruments used have cast some doubt on those readings, making an official measurement of 130 degrees the widely accepted record.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/weather/topstories/death-valley-could-set-world-record-for-hottest-temp-next-week/ar-BB1pmFTg#

No, we’re not all gonna die yet! So Death Valley could potentially break the world record for the hottest temperatures ever recorded. But it’s not just Death Valley that’s feeling the heat – even though the word “DEATH” is in the name! If your summer vacation plans include heading up north to cool off, well, I got news for ya, Jack! Guess what? It’s even hotter up north than where you’re at. Take a look at Idaho where they hit the hottest temperatures they’ve ever seen. Still don’t think climate change is a problem yet? Well if you’re here, you’re definitely not a brainwashed Rupert Murdoch cultist, so I will go ahead and assume that you do think climate change is a problem! So if you enjoy potatoes, and who doesn’t enjoy potatoes, then you might want to tell Idaho to cool off!

The last several weeks in Boise have been HOT with temperatures reaching over 100 for several days in a row. The hottest days this year were on July 10th and 21st – both reaching 108 degrees.

According to the National Weather Service, the record high temperature in Boise, for reference, was 111 degrees on July 12, 1998 and on July 19, 1960.

Based on data from the National Weather Service, hot temperatures are likely to continue through the beginning of August.

“Climatologically the hottest days in Boise are between July 18th and August 4th when our high temperatures average 94 degrees,” National Weather Service Lead Meteorologist David Groenert said. “Overall our dry continental climate during the summer allows lower elevations to warm up, especially when compared to similar latitudes across the US.”
https://boisedev.com/news/2024/07/18/inside-the-hottest-town-in-idaho/

No, we’re not all gonna die. But here’s what we have to educate to the masses and lurkers who might still be in denial about what’s happening. See, it was originally called “global” warming because we live on this “planet” called “Earth”. That encompasses some 7.8 billion humans, and scientists project that the “global” population will soon reach 9 billion by 2035. That’s a problem. The other part of the problem is that we have this “network” called “Fox News” run by this guy “Rupert Murdoch” that has controlled the dialogue on “global warming” and insisted that we call it “climate change”. But look at other countries – it’s not just the United States that’s affected. We are all affected! Look at Mexico, our neighbors to the south! Again, hottest temperatures on record!

Last week, Mexico recorded the hottest day in its history, scientists have stated, with temperatures in the Sonoran Desert hitting 125 degrees.

These extraordinary temperatures, measured by Shel Winkley, a meteorologist at Climate Central, were part of a deadly heat wave that has swept across Mexico, Central America and the Southwestern United States, killing 125 people.

There was no confirmation by the Mexico Meteorological Service on the recorded temperature. The organization was contacted for comment.

Mexico has already experienced historic heatwaves this year. On April 15 Mexico City reached 93.6 degrees, and in early May this record was beaten again when Mexico City's temperature went up to 93.7 degrees. In the same May heatwave, Ciudad Victoria experienced a stifling 117 degrees and the central state of San Luis Potosi rose to 122 degrees, a then-record for the country.
https://www.newsweek.com/mexico-sonora-highest-ever-temperature-climate-change-1915144

No dude, we’re not gonna die. But… because of that network Fox News, a product of News Corporation, which is owned and operated by the Murdoch family, has been installing lackeys in governments around the world to purposefully obstruct any meaningful legislation being passed on things like climate change, is a big contributor to how we got here. And again, we cannot stress enough – that it’s not just the United States that’s getting hotter. It is affecting countries around the world, and sooner or later, we’re going to have to deal with it. We could start with getting Fox News out of our government, but we don’t have time for rational solutions! At the very least we can point out where it’s the hottest, and we will continue to do that!

One of the hottest countries on Earth potentially recorded its highest temperature ever.

India recorded a temperature of 52.3 degrees Celsius -- or about 126 degrees Fahrenheit -- on Wednesday at a weather station in Mungeshpur, a suburb of New Delhi, according to the India Meteorological Department.

The government is examining the data, saying that the temperature is an outlier compared to measurements at other stations and that there could be an error in the sensor or due to local conditions.

The temperature soared to more than 9 degrees Celsius higher than expected, according to the IMD.

Hot winds from northwestern India contributed to the hotter-than-expected temperatures, ABC News partner New Delhi Television (NDTV) reported.
https://abcnews.go.com/International/india-records-hottest-temperature-amid-severe-heat-wave/story?id=110639547

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! Please be seated! You know, we’ve been accused of being a one-trick pony for the better part of the last year and only talking about one subject. Well, I say you’re wrong. And I say – we’re not talking about it enough! The subject of which I’m referring to is of course, the rise of authoritarianism and nationalism through manufactured talking points. And American megachurches are guilty of it. Yes, they are very guilty! For they do not worship GAWD or JAYSUS! No, they worship the unholy, ungodly Dark One! I of course speak of a man so profound, so profane and disgusting that his name DARE NOT be mentioned in my church! I want to focus on one particular individual this week, and that individual is pastor Joel Webbon. Yes, I will admit that my staff and I have been glued to his podcast lately because he’s said some really extreme stuff. In fact, it may even be too extreme for the Unholy Dark One and his MAGA party! Pastor Webbon bills himself as a Christian nationalist, so what does that entitle? What’s his end game, you might ask? Well… it’s basically a dictatorship with unlimited, unchecked power. Apparently freedom is for suckers and losers, so I’m told.

Radical Christian nationalist pastor Joel Webbon used his most recent podcast to explicitly lay out his agenda, which boils down to gaining political power and then using that power for the purpose of “crushing our enemies and rewarding our friends.”

That agenda is perfectly in line with Webbon’s previously stated beliefs that the American people are too degenerate, stupid, and cowardly to abide by the Constitution and therefore must be governed by a Christian dictator who “just rules with an iron fist” and forces everyone to “pretend to be Christian.” Under such a dictator, Webbon wants to see the Apostles’ Creed added to the Constitution; abortion, pornography, no-fault divorce, in vitro fertilization, and birth control outlawed; women banned from voting, and non-Christians kept out of his neighborhood.

“We need to win,” Webbon declared. “We need to wield power righteously. … I want Christians to have power and with that power, I want it to be wielded righteously. What does that mean? It means crushing our enemies and rewarding our friends.”

What that will look like in practice, explained co-host Wesley Todd, is “the end of Pride Month, the end of DEI society” and the enforcement of “Christian virtues.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/joel-webbons-christian-nationalist-agenda-crushing-our-enemies-and-rewarding-our-friends/

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Does he not know that there’s no mention of religion anywhere in the Constitution except for the 1st amendment? And that in order to enact the government that he’s proposing, we would have to write an entirely new Constitution? Seriously, what the hell is he smoking? Oh and it gets worse. Apparently there’s a movement among hardcore Dark One worshippers to completely undo the progress made since 1920 when women’s rights were solidified into the Bill Of Rights. I don’t know what fucked up version of the Bible Pastor Webbon is reading, but I sure as shit don’t see any of this stuff in my Bible! So in addition to a way too literal banana republic dictatorship, he also wants to roll back women’s rights!

Joel Webbon is a far-right Christian nationalist pastor who believes that the American people have become such “degenerates” that the Constitution is no longer adequate and therefore the nation must be governed by a Christian dictator who “just rules with an iron fist.”

The American people are too stupid and cowardly to rule themselves, Webbon believes, and thus must fall under the control of a Christian leader who “comes in with a sword” and forces everyone to, at the very least, “pretend to be Christian.” Under this Christian leader, Webbon says, the Constitution will be amended to include the Apostles’ Creed and abortion, pornography, no-fault divorce, in vitro fertilization, and birth control will be outlawed.

Webbon is the founder of Right Response Ministries through which he organizes events like “Blueprints for Christendom 2.0: Seven Doctrines for Ruling the World,” which took place earlier this year and featured militant Christian nationalists like Doug Wilson and Oklahoma state Sen. Dusty Deevers as speakers discussing the issue of biblical patriarchy.

Webbon, of course, is an ardent proponent of biblical patriarchy and believes that women would not be permitted to vote in a properly Christian nation, as he explained during a recent interview on the program “Eschatology Matters.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/christian-nationalist-pastor-joel-webbon-says-women-should-not-be-allowed-to-vote/

Seriously, is it any wonder why people are fleeing from the church in record numbers? And you know what, he’s totally paranoid of the possibility of Texas flipping in the 2024 election and in future presidential elections. Hey dipshit! Don’t like it? Even Florida is in play! So is Ohio! If you want to appeal to the increasingly smaller portion of the US that still identifies with extremist American evangelicals, maybe you can move to Alabama, or that weird corner of Indiana that Amy Comey Barrett is from! But seriously, folks, we went down the wormhole on this guy, and it totally stinks. In fact it’s not just women’s rights he’s going after, he wants to roll back literally every scientific advancement made in the last 75 years – and write it into the Constitution!

In June, a variety of far-right pastors gathered in Utah for a “Building Christian Boroughs” conference organized by the New Christendom Press. Among the participants was pastor Joel Webbon, an ardent Christian nationalist who believes that the American people are too degenerate, stupid, and cowardly to abide by the Constitution and therefore must be governed by a Christian dictator who “just rules with an iron fist” and forces everyone to, at the very least, “pretend to be Christian.”

Webbon—who wants to see the Apostles’ Creed added to the Constitution; abortion, pornography, no-fault divorce, in vitro fertilization, and birth control outlawed; and women banned from voting—participated in a conference panel discussion on “Christian Nationalism, Women in Politics, & Jewish Influence on American Society” during which he declared that immigration must be curtailed and the southern border sealed because his neighborhood in Texas is being overrun by non-white non-Christians.

“We can’t afford to lose Texas,” Webbon said. “Unless something drastically happens, I think by 2028, Texas will officially be blue in presidential elections, in large part because of the border.”

“I walk around my neighborhood and it’s not that there are [just] different shades of white and brown,” he added. “No, it’s like full, straight-up Hindu garb at our neighborhood swimming pool that my daughter is asking [about and] I’m trying to explain.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/christian-nationalist-joel-webbon-traumatized-by-non-christians-in-his-neighborhood/

Yeah I personally have no problem with this! This is the problem with people who let Fox News scramble their brains and take over their lives – it makes them unable to see reality. The reality is that states are far more purple than most realize, and the other thing is that Fox News has intentionally not put us fighting against each other over stupid bullshit culture war nonsense, to keep us from discovering who the real bad guys are! But it’s not just women that Pastor Webbon is targeting – it’s also men too, because apparently freedom is for losers and suckers! Come on, dude, if you don’t like freedom – Saudi Arabia is that way! Apparently Pastor Webbon claims that he’s got some “powerful friends”, but we say pics or it’s not happening.

During a recent episode of his “Theology Applied” podcast, far-right pastor Joel Webbon said that his critics would be shocked to learn that “massively influential” and wealthy people are reaching out to him to voice their support for his radical Christian nationalist agenda.

Webbon is an ardent Christian nationalist who believes that the American people are too degenerate, stupid, and cowardly to abide by the Constitution and therefore must be governed by a Christian dictator who “just rules with an iron fist” and forces everyone to, at the very least, “pretend to be Christian.” Under this Christian leader, Webbon says, the Constitution will be amended to include the Apostles’ Creed, abortion, pornography, no-fault divorce, in vitro fertilization, and birth control will all be outlawed, and women will be banned from voting.

On Monday’s podcast, after Webbon and his guest, fellow Christian nationalist Adam Robles, discussed the need for the United States to be ruled by an “American Caesar” or “Protestant Franco,” they both agreed that Christian nationalism is not just some small, fringe movement.

“I think people would be surprised if you found out the kinds of people that we’re talking to and are following us,” Robles said. “It’s very easy to mock Christian nationalism as a small movements, it’s fringe, nobody cares. And as far as I’m concerned, they can keep doing it.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/christian-nationalist-joel-webbon-claims-to-have-the-support-of-massively-influential-people/

So is it any wonder why we compare people like Pastor Webbon to the Taliban? You’d think these two would make natural allies! When you’re too extreme for MAGA, what’s left? Not that much! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]Beating A Dead Horse: Olympic Drag Queen Controversy
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Some people say that drag is an artform. Others say that it’s blasphemy. Well the opening ceremonies of the 2024 Olympics took that argument to a whole new level. Yes, for those of you who have a bad case of Olympic fever, you probably saw the opening ceremonies where drag queens performed a reenactment of the Last Supper. Well, needless to say, what should have been an innocent performance set off a worldwide firestorm of controversy. Yes, everyone’s creepy uncle and uber-religious aunt around the world had an opinion on drag queens enacting Leonardo’s famous “The Last Supper” painting, depicting Jesus’ last meal with his disciples. So here’s the thing to the usual band of MAGA idiots like… this guy… and this guy… and for no reason, Elon Musk had to offer an opinion too – is that the Last Supper wasn’t painted by God. It was painted by Leonardo Da Vinci. During the renaissance, which usually happens following a global catastrophe like the Black Plague. Of course, we have yet to hit that after COVID. Instead, we have a Fox News sponsored MAGA circle jerk about what’s moral and what isn’t. Sigh… why we can’t have nice things in this country!

Olympics organizers have apologized for staging a scene during the opening ceremony that appeared to parody Leonardo Da Vinci’s “The Last Supper” with drag queens, after the scene sparked an uproar from some U.S. religious and conservative leaders and right-wing pundits, echoing protests in recent years against drag performances.



Late into the opening ceremony of the Paris Summer Olympics on Friday night, cameras cut to a long table overlooking the Seine River filled with drag stars appearing to resemble Jesus and the 12 apostles in Da Vinci’s fresco masterpiece (Paris Olympics ceremony director Thomas Jolly later told French outlet BFM TV the scene was a nod to Greek mythology, and not “The Last Supper”).

Right-wing pundits and some lawmakers took to social media shortly after, questioning why the scene was included in the opening ceremony, with former CNN host Piers Morgan posting: “Would they have mocked any other religion like this? Appalling decision.”

Donald Trump Jr. re-posted a photo of the depiction, saying, “They’re not even pretending anymore,” while billionaire SpaceX, Tesla and X owner Elon Musk called the parody “extremely disrespectful to Christians” in a post on his social media platform.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/brianbushard/2024/07/29/olympics-drag-queen-last-supper-sparks-outrage-from-musk-rob-schneider-gop-pundits/

OK, look we support free speech here and we respect everyone’s right to have their own opinions, but really, Rob Schneider? That’s who you decide to interview? The guy who was the star of a movie called “The Hot Chick” is your go to? And who cares if it’s extremely disrespectful to Christians? We’re not going to sit by while the people who claim to be the godliest among us worship the least godly man in existence and want to make him dictator for life! Yeah that’s disrespectful! But look, when you have an event that draws several million people to your city over the course of three weeks, you just can’t please everybody! To quote the late, great Mitch Hedburg – “You can’t please everyone all the time, and last night, all those people were at my show!”. But what do actual drag queens think? Well let’s find out!

The Paris Olympics opening ceremony is still inciting conversation days after it aired. Viewers are scrutinizing a minutes-long segment in the four-hour ceremony — and asking what it really meant.

Nicky Doll, one of the drag performers in the segment and the host of “Drag Race France,” says she thought the scene “made complete sense” when the opening ceremony's artistic director Thomas Jolly first approached her with the idea.

“They reached out to me and said that they wanted to incorporate part of the nightlife of French culture in the last number. It was all about music and celebration and a big banquet and a big party,” she tells TODAY.com in her first interview since the debacle.

In the controversial segment, entitled “Festivities," drag queens and dancers lined a long table, while a mostly nude Philippe Katerine, clad in blue paint, sang before them in French. A runway show followed, as did performances — Nicky sang her song "I Had a Dream," though that moment didn't make the telecast.
https://www.today.com/news/drag-queen-nicky-doll-olympics-opening-ceremony-controversy-rcna164362

Seriously, what? Who gives a shit? Well, a lot of people, apparently! But my favorite thing about this was that the organizers of the Paris Olympics attempted to walk back the controversy by making an absurd claim that no – it wasn’t a reenactment of the Last Supper. Instead, it was a depiction of the Greek gods of Olympus. Come on, dude, we all know that it was the Last Supper. And so what if it pisses off Donald Trump Jr and Mike Johnson? Really, they’re a joke here and are probably not the people who we should consult when it comes to religion. But really, this is what is insane – if you fuck up, just admit you fucked up and move on! That’s all it takes! Of course, the longer you drag out this controversy, the weirder it gets!

An organizer of the Paris Olympics said that the drag performance during Friday’s opening ceremony was a nod to Greek mythology, not the Last Supper.

Thomas Jolly, the artistic director for the ceremony, told French news channel BFM TV on Sunday that the inspiration for that scene was the Greek god Dionysus, according to NBC’s “Today.” His comments come after the opening ceremony included a scene that some said looked like Leonardo da Vinci’s painting of the Last Supper.

“There is Dionysus who arrives on this table. He is there because he is the god of celebration in Greek mythology,” Jolly said, according to NBC. “The idea was to have a pagan celebration connected to the gods of Olympus. You will never find in me a desire to mock and denigrate anyone.”

The opening ceremonies on Friday included a group of performers, some of them in drag, in a scene that some said resembled da Vinci’s painting of the Last Supper. It featured someone painted blue sitting on a table surrounded by fruit, while dancers and other performers struck poses in the background.
https://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/4797097-paris-olympics-organizer-says-drag-performance-was-nod-to-greek-mythology-not-last-supper/

Ha ha, right? If there’s one thing that we’ve learned over the last 8 years we’ve been doing this program is that America’s right wing religious are easily manipulated! One minute, they’re easily offended by profanity and anything they consider to be immoral. Then the next minute, they shout the most profane shit you’ve ever heard. And worship the least godly man in existence! So was it depicting The Last Supper or was it depicting the Greek gods of Olympus? The answer to that question is that we may never know the real answer. We can say that it will be interesting to watch when the Olympics comes to Los Angeles in 2028. But with people like these at the helm of the Paris games – well, let’s just say who needs enemies?

The organizers behind the Paris Olympics apologized to anyone who was offended by a tableau that evoked Leonardo da Vinci's "The Last Supper" during Friday's opening ceremony and provoked outrage by religious conservatives around the world. The organizers, however, defended the concept behind it.

Da Vinci's painting depicts the moment when Jesus Christ declared that an apostle would betray him. The scene during Friday's ceremony on the Debilly Bridge featured DJ and producer Barbara Butch — an LGBTQ+ icon who calls herself a "love activist." Butch was wearing a silver headdress that looked like a halo as she got the party going on a footbridge across the Seine. Drag artists, dancers and others flanked Butch on both sides.

As CBS News correspondent Elaine Cobbe reports, the specific part of the ceremony that caused the offense was, in fact, a scene depicting Dionysus, the Greek god of wine. It was reportedly based on The Feast of the Gods, a 17th century painting by Dutch artist Jan Harmensz van Biljert that hangs in the Magnin Museum, in Dijon, eastern France. The painting depicts an assembly of Greek gods on Mount Olympus for a banquet to celebrate the marriage of Thetis and Peleus. The figure seated at the table in the center has a halo of light behind his head.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/paris-olympics-organizers-apologize-last-supper-tableau-religious-conservatives/

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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! Of course conspiracies exist when people simply don’t want to read the article past the headlines and just flat out make shit up. We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter from deep within the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location, of course! Let me just adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! They are trying to read yours and my thoughts after all! This week – we have to talk about one of the more bizarre things that Donald Trump has been doing lately – his inexplicable love of the serial killer flick Silence Of The Lambs. If you’re unfamiliar with the movie, the plot centers around FBI agent Clarice Starling, who enlists the help of notorious cannibalistic serial killer Hannibal Lecter to catch an even crazier cannibalistic serial killer – like that’s possible! But needless to say that a lot of people are incredibly confused by this one, and even most of MAGA’s hardline conspiracy theorists seem to be running away from the subject! But hey, Hannibal was just having a friend over for dinner! That’s what the last line of the movie was! But does Trump know it’s just a movie? Probably and also probably not.

If the rumours are true, and Donald Trump really is becoming increasingly displeased with his choice of running mate, JD Vance, then it can only be a matter of time before he replaces him. And when he does, there is only one figure that he can possibly choose. A figure with a clinical mind. A figure with a sharkish ruthlessness. The figure who haunts Trump’s every waking thought. The overwhelming object of his obsession. That’s right: Trump’s next VP pick has to be the late, great Hannibal Lecter.

Trump mentioned Hannibal Lecter again last night, during a rally in North Carolina. During a rambling tangent about immigrants, Trump said: “They’re coming from everywhere. They’re coming from all over the world, from prisons and jails, and mental institutions and insane asylums. You know, they go crazy when I say, ‘The late great Hannibal Lecter,’ OK? They say, ‘Why would he mention Hannibal Lecter? He must be cognitively in trouble.’ No no no, these are real stories. Hannibal Lecter from Silence of the Lamb [sic]. He’s a lovely man. He’d love to have you for dinner.”

If that sounds familiar, it’s because Trump said more or less the same thing during his speech at the Republican national convention last week. And several times before that, stretching all the way back to May. Indeed, Lecter has become as immovable a part of Trump’s campaign as the poem The Snake was back in 2016. Only that made sense because, as a poem, The Snake is a collection of words that possesses a basic legibility. Whereas the Hannibal thing literally cannot be described as that at all.
https://www.theguardian.com/culture/article/2024/jul/25/donald-trump-hannibal-lecter

Yeah so we have lots of questions here. Is he planning to eat immigrants at the border? And what would happen if he nominated Hannibal Lecter to be his running mate? Can you just imagine the campaign slogans? Trump / Lecter: Let’s have all the friends over for dinner! Does he not know that last line in the movie was basically a metaphor for cannibalism? We’re going to say, no, probably not in this case. But even one of the greatest actors of this generation – Hannibal Lecter himself – Sir Anthony Hopkins, was totally baffled by Trump’s love of the character. Yeah for the sake of this piece, let’s call it the ”Silence Of The MAGAS”. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I’ll be expecting a phone call from Anthony Hopkins’ lawyers shortly!

Actor Anthony Hopkins says he is “shocked and appalled” by former President Trump’s comments about fictional serial killer Hannibal Lecter, whom Hopkins won an Oscar portraying in the 1991 movie “The Silence of the Lambs.”

“Hannibal, that’s a long time ago that movie,” Hopkins said in a Deadline interview published Tuesday in response to hearing about Trump’s remarks. “God, that was over 30 years ago. I’m shocked and appalled what you’ve told me about Trump.”

Trump has repeatedly praised Lecter, calling him “a wonderful man.”

In a campaign speech in New Jersey earlier this year, Trump segued from an unsubstantiated claim about migrants coming from “insane asylums” to the discussing the cannibal psychiatrist, who was created by novelist Thomas Harris.
https://thehill.com/blogs/in-the-know/4778013-trump-hannibal-lecter-anthony-hopkins/

And by the way, this is one of those stories that we always say is like peeling an onion – the more layers you peel back, the more it stinks, and the more likely you are to cry as a result. So of all the movies that you could be obsessed with, you pick Silence Of The Lambs? And if it’s an anti-hero you’re looking for, why not Tyler Durden from Fight Club or maybe Slim Pickens from the classic movie Dr. Strangelove? All though in all fairness, we are very aware that Trump probably doesn’t know what an anti-hero is. And he probably doesn’t care either. But this is definitely one of the weirder things we’ve seen from him lately and it’s not going away any time soon.

Donald Trump’s “late, great Hannibal Lecter” routine may be his most breathtaking incoherent rant. Yes, he has claimed that magnets don’t work underwater, and musing about whether he’d rather die by shark or electrocution is a regular part of his stump speech. But Trump’s tirade about the fictional serial killer stands apart for several reasons. First, it is exceptionally weird. Second, it is profoundly wrong on multiple levels. And third, Trump thinks it’s so smart and funny that he will not stop repeating it.

Critics say the 1991 film The Silence of the Lambs “teeters on the edge between psychological study and all-out horror.” The same is true of the presidential tirade it inspired. On a basic level, we know the awful truth about what Trump is doing: He’s demonizing migrants. But since the Republican National Convention, people have been dropping wild theories about why Trump is going about that nefarious goal by heaping praise on a make-believe cannibal.

After a harrowing deep dive through old Trump-rally speeches and xenophobic Tucker Carlson clips, I believe I have come as close as one can to explaining the origins of this bizarre bit. But be warned: Somehow the more you learn, the less sense Trump’s latest obsession makes.
https://nymag.com/intelligencer/article/trump-hannibal-lecter-rant-origin.html

Yeah probably! But hey you know, Hannibal Lecter was a nice guy! He was having a friend over for dinner! In reality, he was having a friend over *FOR* dinner. It’s an innocent sounding sentence that sounds way more horrifying depending on which word you emphasize. Like if you take the classic song “He dropped a bomb on me” and emphasize “He dropped a BOMB on me!”, it sounds like you’re literally dropping a bomb on someone! So why does Trump keep praising the infamous serial killer Hannibal Lecter – who was famously imprisoned in an Arkham level insane asylum? Well maybe it’s the word “asylum” or maybe it’s something else. Either way, we don’t get it.

At a rally in New Jersey in May, Trump also called Lecter a "wonderful man" before segueing into a comment about immigration.

"Has anyone ever seen The Silence of the Lambs? The late, great Hannibal Lecter is a wonderful man. He often times would have a friend for dinner. Remember the last scene? Excuse me. I'm about to have a friend for dinner as this poor doctor walked by. I'm about to have a friend for dinner," the former president said.

He added: "Congratulations, the late, great Hannibal Lecter. We have people that are being released into our country that we don't want in our country."

Last year, during a speech in Iowa, he praised Lecter although quickly clarifying he meant an actor who portrayed him, who he claimed said that he loved the former president. He said: "Hanibal Lecter, how great an actor he was. You know why I like him? Because he said on television, 'I love Donald Trump,' so I love him."

None of the four actors who have played Lecter—Anthony Hopkins, Gaspard Ulliel, Brian Cox, Mads Mikkelsen—have said they "love" Trump.
https://www.newsweek.com/critics-george-conway-point-missing-link-donald-trump-hannibal-lecter-remarks-1927997

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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink: The Olympics Bulge
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Hey everyone, I don’t know about you, but I could really use a drink!



So of course, you know the idea behind this segment is that we have some drinks, and while we are drinking, we discuss literally anything as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. I don’t know if you’ve noticed or not, but there’s a lot of really dark shit in the world right now. We feel the best escape is usually to crack open a cold one, or two, kick back, and escape reality for a bit. And don’t worry, my sober brothers and sisters – we got ya covered too! Just grab a glass of your favorite coffee, tea, or energy drink and come get wired with us! Well, the story on the table this week is a good one! You know, the 2024 Olympics in Paris, France are in their third and final week. And what an Olympics it’s been, am I right? One story in particular that we have to talk about – you guessed it – the bulge! Tell me bartender, what goes well with a story about pole vaulting? OK, I’m not touching that one with a 10,000 foot pole! If you catch my drift! I’ll just have my usual – Jack Daniels mixed with Jack Daniels. I call it the Double Jack. Well, anyway, we are of course talking about French pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati's ridiculously huge “bulge” that may have cost him a gold medal. But the story is way more ridiculous than it seems!

Aside from Leon Marchand, who clinched his fourth swimming gold medal yesterday, another French athlete, 21-year-old pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati, has become an instant viral phenomenon after an incident involving his crotch.

Ammirati missed his target height and knocked down the pole with his bulge on Saturday, which caused him to fail his qualifying track for the final. The scene left commentators scrambling to find words but it quickly sparked memes and jokes all over social media.

“When you’re about to win an Olympic medal but your massive d*ck gets in the way while the whole world watches in slow motion,” one user on X (formerly Twitter) wrote.

Shortly after the viral moment, Ammirati shared his thoughts on failing to qualify for the final. “It’s a big disappointment,” he told the French Athletics Federation. “I’m a bit gutted, because I didn’t miss anything on the third attempt at 5.70 m. What I did miss was a bit of jumping in training to fine-tune the settings.”
https://variety.com/2024/tv/global/french-pole-vaulter-anthony-ammirati-bulge-olympic-medal-1236094831/

Hey come on, even if you lose in pole vaulting, you won in vaulting your pole, if you catch my drift! Oh come on, get your head out of the gutter! At least he’s got a sense of humor about the whole incident, because if the entire world knows you’ve got a big schlong, you’ve won! And you might be wondering “Gee, how come he’s not in porn?”, and I would answer – that’s a damn good question! And we do have an answer for that – there’s an offer! We can’t help but wonder what kind of crazy porn titles they could come up with if he actually agrees to do one! What titles can you think of? Let us know in the comments! But yes, this is a real story and we’re not making this up in the slightest – he actually did get offers to do porn!

Anthony Ammirati, a pole vaulter for Team France, went viral Saturday after his privates knocked down his crossbar while competing, dashing his Olympic aspirations. Now, a porn company is offering him big bucks.

According to a letter obtained by TMZ Sports, CamSoda is willing to shell out $250,000 if Ammirati shows his member on camera.

“If it was up to me, I’d award you for what everyone else saw, your talent below the belt...As a lover of crotch-centric activities, I'd love to offer you up to $250,000 in exchange for a 60-minute webcam show, in which you show off your goods, minus the crossbar, of course,” the company’s vice president, Daryn Parker, wrote in the letter.

This isn’t the first time the company has tried to milk a viral moment. According to TMZ, in 2023, CamSoda offered Instagram model and Bad Girls Club star Morgan Osman $25,000 to undress after she was caught on camera freaking out on an American Airlines flight.

While the “pole” incident landed the Olympian in 12th place, it lit social media ablaze with memes. While Ammirati has been very tight-lipped about the bulge situation, he did speak to the French Athletics Federation about his lackluster performance.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/french-vaulter-anthony-ammirati-offered-dollar250k-to-flaunt-his-infamous-olympic-bulge

Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Shots! Hey come on, this guy won the genetic lottery – both as an Olympic athlete and of course in that department down stairs, if you catch my drift! But in doing my research for this segment, I did come across this article which one can only help but wonder – why doesn’t this happen more often? And also – why don’t the males who have large schlongs you know, do what drag queens do? Hey, it’s research! It’s research!!! You don’t know! You don’t know! OK I’m getting off topic here. Anyway come on, man! Well before I keep repeating myself, there is definitely some rhyme and reason as to why they don’t do this.

This, ultimately, is the crux of the matter. While viral moments are all well and good, these penises have been actively sabotaging their owners. Instead of casting blame on people who have eyes, perhaps we should cast it upon limitations of our men’s athletic apparel. Why don’t men have sports bras for their junk?

As a cis woman, I can’t claim to know what it’s like to live with a penis, but the word that comes to mind is cumbersome. I can barely walk down a set of stairs without an athletic bra, let alone compete in any kind of sport unaided. But while women were quick to engineer a form of support for their protuberances, men are rawdogging their physical activity—and sometimes, having their dreams (and even testicles) crushed in the process.

“When your sport is all about getting your body over a bar and it’s a matter of millimeters!” tweeted Rennae Stubbs, ESPN commentator and Serena Williams’s former tennis coach. “My man! Call a drag queen! She’ll teach u how to tuck it!”

One such drag queen, the former Ru Paul’s Drag Race contestant Trinity the Tuck, actually offers an official tucking tutorial. When reached over email, she offers to assist Ammirati. “As someone with the same parts that hinder my job as well I can definitely give him a lesson or two,” she writes. “Anthony, feel free to DM me for a one-on-one class! I can help you make sure your pole is prepared for your vaulting!”
https://www.gq.com/story/penis-olympics-2024

Hey they said just one drink! They never said what size! Am I right? And what? You’re telling me that this didn’t happen? That there’s a perfectly logical explanation for what happened? Oh come on, don’t ruin this for us, man! There’s too much dark shit in the news right now. At least give us something that we can all laugh at! But hey, Anthony Ammirati may have lost the gold, but he’s won urban legend status that will be with him for the rest of his life! And for that, he’ll be able to enjoy retirement from the athletic life the same way race horses do – he’ll get a nice place on the ranch and will be able to get his pick of the litter as far as the eye can see. At least that’s how I picture it! Come on, where’s the drinks at, we need more booze!

French pole vaulter Anthony Ammirati won't be moving on to the men's pole vault final at the Paris Olympics — but contrary to speculation, it has nothing to do with his crotch.

Ammirati, 21, went viral on Saturday, Aug. 3 after a video of one of his pole vault attempts made it look like he failed to clear the bar because of his "bulge," which seemed to knock down the crossbar. The theory quickly picked up steam and spread like wildfire on social media and through headlines, but a closer look at the video shows that was not actually the case.

During the jump, Ammirati tries to clear the bar but first hits it with his shins and then his knees. It's already a failed jump, but to add injury (presumably) to insult, Ammirati knocks the bar off fully after he hits it with his crotch.
https://people.com/french-pole-vaulter-did-not-lose-because-his-crotch-2024-olympics-8690008

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[font size="8"]Road To The White House: JD Vance’s Extremism
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Welcome back to our segment where we lump all the important election news of the week into one easy to swallow pill, Road To The White House! And yes, we actually get to use the new graphic because it’s going to be former president Orange Turdblossom against current vice president Kamala Harris. But this week, we have to talk about Trump’s vice presidential nominee, JD Vance. Who the fuck is this guy, you might ask? Well, I answer you – well he’s a Harvard educated attorney with zero experience, who inexplicably rose to become a senator from Ohio thanks to his incessant panhandling 24 hours a day on Fox News. And that panhandling has been the key to Vance’s success and prompted him to become the vice presidential nominee under Donald Trump. But his panhandling has been the subject of extreme scrutiny. Also, come on, let’s face it – after the way he tried to murder the last guy to prevent him from certifying the election, who in their right mind would want that job? Guess Sean Hannity picked his name out of a hat. But that being said, just like Trump, JD Vance has a long, ridiculously long history of saying some pretty insane stuff. Don’t worry, we’ll get to his autobiography in a minute.

America found out on Monday that Sen. J.D. Vance (R-OH) is former President Donald Trump’s pick for running mate. But just who is Vance? Not just a racist with a full head of hair—he’s also, after some recalibration, as MAGA as MAGA can be. That’s according to The New Abnormal’s Andy Levy and Danielle Moody, who are here to pitch that as a potential silver lining.

“You could probably make the argument, at least in, in modern America, that this is the most extreme presidential ticket that we have had,” Andy says. “I think you’d have to go back a really long way to maybe find an example to the contrary, and I’m not sure that works.”

Then, Rep. Jared Huffman (D-CA) joins the pod to discuss what it could look like to move a new nominee onto the Democratic ticket. Provided President Joe Biden decides to step aside, Huffman says, he doesn’t want to see a gaggle of party insiders anoint their favorite man for the job. Rather, he likes the idea of a so-called “mini-primary,” a process Rep. James E. Clyburn (D-SC) outlined earlier this month.
https://www.thedailybeast.com/trump-and-jd-vance-are-the-most-extreme-presidential-ticket-in-modern-american-history

Yeah you might be wondering why we’re showing pictures of couches instead of our usual hilarious memes and GIFs. Well that’s because the piece that we wrote before our server crashed had a massive bit about JD Vance, where he admitted that he fucked a couch. Allegedly! Again, allegedly. We don’t know any other way to interpret this. But what we do know is that there’s a part in his autobiography called Hillbilly Elegy – where he basically admits to being turned on, while he was lying face down on a couch. Seriously, I’m still trying to keep my lunch down from that one. Although this is one of those things that you should probably never admit to, especially if you’re trying to become the second most powerful man in the United States!

After years of condemning former President Donald Trump for spreading misinformation and conspiracy theories, Democrats are now poking fun at his running mate using a false, vulgar rumor.

The rumor, first posted on X last month, involves a fake passage about a sex act and a couch supposedly in Sen. JD Vance's 2016 book, "Hillbilly Elegy."

The lie spread like wildfire, spawning jokes and memes even as the original joke's author clarified that it wasn't real and later made his account private. Several news outlets published fact-checks of the claim.

The fervor reached a peak in Philadelphia, the day Vice President Kamala Harris named Minnesota Gov. Tim Walz as her running mate. Walz told an arena filled with thousands of excited supporters: “I got to tell you, I can’t wait to debate the guy [Vance]. That is, if he’s willing to get off the couch and show up.”
https://www.nbcnews.com/politics/2024-election/democrats-false-jd-vance-couch-trump-misinformation-rcna166155

So what do you think? That turn you on? But come on, MSNBC? What are you doing? Why do you have to take a shit on the parade like that? Let us have some fun for once! We’ve had to put up with Trump’s bullshit for 8 years and his attempt to overthrow the government, this is the least of their problems! So, moving on. There’s no secret that the Trump – Vance ticket is the most extreme in modern history – more extreme than ever thought possible. That’s because the GOP has merged with the internet hate sphere and brought their fire and brimstone brand of hate to the mainstream. Yes, it’s entirely possible that the GOP could go full Nazi should they ever get back into power. But with extremists like Vance at the helm, who needs moderates?

Sen. J.D. Vance has ties to a slew of far right academics who believe feminists need raping, working women are on drugs and judges should decide who gets to get married, a new analysis shows.

Vance's connections to extreme anti-feminists could have dire consequences for his running mate former President Donald Trump after President Joe Biden endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris to take over his campaign, political theorist Laura K. Field reported for Politico Wednesday.

"Vance, along with his New Right fellow-travelers, is about to introduce voters to a more conceptual take on sexism — one which many women, and indeed many men, might find even more alarming," writes Field.

Want more breaking political news? Click for the latest headlines at Raw Story.

"Trump lost women by 15 points in 2020...if he hoped the vice presidential pick would help with that he may be sadly mistaken."
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opinion/extreme-anti-feminists-and-misogynists-the-academics-that-formed-j-d-vance-s-views/ar-BB1qz5sE?apiversion=v2&noservercache=1&domshim=1&renderwebcomponents=1&wcseo=1&batchservertelemetry=1&noservertelemetry=1

I’m pretty sure that Paul Rubens would approve of that joke! But again, I know someone in the comments is going to complain about the couch jokes – to which I say “fuck it”, it’s my show, we’re in our last season before an extended hiatus, and I am really in the “I don’t give a fuck” mood. So think about it – a guy as extreme as JD Vance could be second in line for the presidency of the United States, and if you think the GOP doesn’t have plans to go full Nazi, I tell you you’re wrong. Keep in mind that Trump is old and frail. And if something were to happen, JD Vanc e would be president. So if Trump actually did get elected, those of you who are praying for Trump’s poor diet of Big Macs and Diet Cokes to do their thing, you may want to rethink what your wishes are. Because we could be stuck with this guy, and he won’t leave office. That is a guarantee.

Democrats wasted little time Monday turning Donald Trump’s new running mate into a line of attack, seeking to portray Ohio Sen. J.D. Vance as an extremist on abortion rights and an advocate of a far-right agenda drafted by allies of the former president.

The Biden campaign went into action soon after Trump announced his pick with a message intended to steer the focus to the most extreme elements of the Republican Party and contrasting Vance with Vice President Kamala Harris.

“Vance will do what Mike Pence wouldn’t on January 6; bend over backwards to enable Trump and his extreme MAGA agenda, even if it means breaking the law and no matter the harm to the American people,” Jen O’Malley Dillon, who chairs President Joe Biden’s reelection campaign, said in a statement. The campaign coupled its missive with a press call immediately after Trump announced his pick to detail Vance’s vulnerabilities.
https://www.politico.com/news/2024/07/15/jd-vance-democrats-abortion-00168527

[font size="4"]And Now This: [/font]
[font size="4"]Cage The Elephant[/font]

Folks, my next guest is one of the best bands out there right now. You can see them on tour with Young The Giant through Aug. 29th. Playing the title track from their new album “Neon Pill”, give it up for Cage The Elephant!

Thank you Edmonton! Thanks for bearing with us while we got our server SNAFU sorted out and selling us out again! We’re off to Vancouver next for the last stop of our Canada tour!

See you next week!

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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo

[IA8IT]

1. Not even close to reading all of post and wishing i could buy extra Rec's like Valentine's hearts