Breaking: Trump unveils newest and most personal collectible!

[jmowreader]

PALM BEACH, FLA (Spurious News Network) — Former President Donald Trump, whose primary source of income is selling ordinary products emblazoned with his name and likeness, unveiled his newest and what he calls his most personal souvenir at a press conference at his elegant compound today.

Trump Shit is an eight-ounce vacuum-sealed jar filled with his own feces. A clear label bearing Trump’s photograph and signature, along with his campaign slogan “Make America Great Again,” is affixed to the jar. The cap is embossed with the Presidential seal. It will sell for the low price of $45.47.

“Trump Shit is the finest shit,” Trump told a crowd of dozens. “No one makes better shit than me. When you buy Trump Shit you’ll have a very personal memento of me that you can keep forever.”

Demand for Trump Shit is extremely heavy. When it was posted on the Trump Store, Trump’s e-commerce website, over 10,000 orders were immediately placed. Because Trump only had 48 jars of it at the press conference, all of which sold so fast a brawl broke out among people trying to get to the table to buy it, it is estimated a purchaser may have to wait a whole week for the order to be delivered.

We asked Trump supporter Helen Waite why she bought the very first jar of Trump Shit sold. “I have tons of Trump shit already. My wardrobe is filled with Trump t-shirts. I have Trump flags, Trump coffee mugs Trump teddy bears for my kids, and my car has so many Trump bumper stickers on it my husband has forgotten what color it is. So, why not get some real Trump Shit? I am going to negotiate with the Trump Organization to be the exclusive vendor of Trump Shit, so if you want a jar you’ll have to go to Helen Waite for it.”

Because the government classifies Trump Shit as biological waste, it cannot be delivered by US Mail. Trump has contracted with some of his supporters to deliver Trump Shit in their own cars. “These loyal Americans have pledged to deliver Trump Shit at no cost to me to prove how much they want to Make America Great Again.”

We asked Democratic vice presidential candidate Tim Walz for his opinion on Trump Shit. “When you’re as full of shit as Donald Trump is,” Coach Walz said, “why not sell it?”

[Probatim]

1. One product without any supply chain issues.

[Karadeniz]

2. Only Secretariat could get away with this and trumps no Secretariat!

[XanaDUer2]

3. You jest

But some would buy his shit

[Tommy Carcetti]

4. Act now and you're eligible to recieve a special piece of the shit...

...shat out in his pants during the July 13, 2024 attempt on Donald Trump's life.

[GopherGal]

6. How about one from Sep 10, 2024?

Or, maybe a 2-pak set of shit taken from both his diaper and his mouth.

[Best_man23]

5. Maybe we should start up "Trump Bread"

Better for the MAGAts to enjoy their Trump Shit.

I'm sure the Convicted Felon's buddy DeJoy will give him a break on shipping Trump Shit through his private shipping companies.

[GopherGal]

7. The My-Pillow Guy might help him out.

Maybe he can share his distribution chain that has been shipping out his s****y pillows for years.

[ornotna]

8. You're full of shit

This story is fake.












Fake but funny.

[superpatriotman]

9. Piero Manzoni did it first in 1961

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Artist%27s_Shit