The Department of Energy Wants You to Know Your Conservation Efforts Are Making a Difference (Satire from McSweeneys)

[BootinUp]

We here at the Department of Energy wanted to thank you for being conscientious about your energy usage this summer. Your efforts haven’t gone unnoticed. As a token of our gratitude, we wanted to highlight all the small but powerful steps you’ve taken to conserve energy over the past few months—and how that energy has instead been used to fuel the insatiable beast that is AI.

By turning off your lights all day every day for a month, you conserved about 1 percent of the energy needed for AI to generate a picture of a duck wearing sunglasses. Isn’t he cute? Aside from the fact that he has the feet of a human man, of course.

By handwashing your dishes instead of using your dishwasher, you made it possible for an elaborate, four-story digital billboard in Times Square to advertise a seven-dollar bottle of water for twelve seconds. The display runs 24-7, naturally, but you personally contributed twelve seconds of that. You are making a difference!

By not showering for two whole weeks, you enabled an AI Facebook bot to create and post several images of Jesus eating breakfast at a Denny’s, which ultimately convinced 837,000 people that Christ had returned to Earth. Did you notice his legs are two dolphin tails? You’re the only one who did.

Continued https://www.mcsweeneys.net/articles/the-department-of-energy-wants-you-to-know-your-conservation-efforts-are-making-a-difference

[Biophilic]

1. Ouch, that hurts. nt

[LearnedHand]

2. Oh that is brilliant!

Please! Continue highlighting the real perpetrators of climate harm.

[hermetic]

3. Love it!