Top 10 Conservative Idiots #17-8: The Trump Who Cried Wolf Edition

[Top 10 Idiots]

Last edited Mon Oct 7, 2024, 05:58 PM - Edit history (1)

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #17-8: The Trump Who Cried Wolf Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Yooooooooooooooooooo!!! What’s up Las Vegas? Oh man it’s always great to be back in Sin City, isn’t it? And I know what you’re thinking – you’re usually used to seeing us on the other side of the city over at Brad Garrett’s at the MGM. Well, we’re shaking things up this week! Why? Because we can! Well anyway, we’ve got a great few weeks coming up leading to Thanksgiving. And of course don’t forget that starting on Sunday, Oct. 20th, we’ve got the season premiere of our wildly popular spin off series Holy Shit: The Sunday Sermons! Yes, religion never saw it coming! We also decided to abandon our planned “Lost Entries” Top 10 because we were just burnt out from having to follow the shit show of the 2024 election 24 hours a day. Plus you guys are in for a treat this week – we’re debuting our brand new feature chronicling the (mis)adventures of the world’s most poorly constructive, expensive, and ridiculous phallic symbol – the Tesla Cybertruck – in our new segment “Cyberstruck”! And holy shit, this may be one of my favorite intros that we’ve ever done on this program. Do we have time for the thing? Of course we do! So you know we’re just a mere 28 short days away from one of my personal favorite days of the entire year – Halloween. Which by the way, our Halloween Spooktacular is on Halloween this year, and it will be live from the University Of Georgia with live music from the amazing metalcore band Knocked Loose! Well anyway, if you haven’t got your costume yet, head on over to the store that takes over any abandoned strip mall property, Spirit Halloween! So they have a beef with Saturday Night Live over the premiere episode this season – can we show that clip? Yeah so anyway , Spirit has a problem with SNL. But come on, you can’t use your own meme! That’s like saying “How do you do, fellow kids?”. OK that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to. But first our good friend John Oliver is back, and he talks about the subject of disability benefits this week, which confirms my theory that a lot of our problems can once again be traced back to America’s billionaires:

So where do we begin this week? Man there has been a shit ton of news lately and it just keeps coming, doesn’t it? Well in the first slot is of course that guy who we inexplicably used to call president (1) and yes, we do have to talk about his second “assassination” attempt – is anyone buying this crap for even a second anymore? It’s like the Trump who cried “wolf” now. In the second slot this week is Alex Jones (2)! Yes, getting rid of one of the most toxic institutions in the country, Infowars is like rocking a vending machine back and forth – and we may finally be seeing Alex Jones flushed down the sewer that he came from! Taking the number 3 slot this week is the MAGA SCOTUS (3). Yes, we have to talk about it, but last week’s shockingly criminal execution of Marcellus Williams at the hands of the bloodthirsty MAGA SCOTUS, Mike Parsons, and the Missouri AG – and it’s worse than you would think! Taking the number 4 slot this week is also that guy who we inexplicably used to call president (4) – and yes, he’s back with yet another grift – this time some ridiculously expensive watches, and like most things he does, this is weirder and worse the more you look into it! Taking the fifth slot this week, we are pleased to bring you our newest segment – chronicling the plight of the world’s most expensive, poorly constructed phallic symbol – the Tesla Cybertruck – in our new segment Cyberstruck (5)! Yes, Elon may be full on red pilled truther, but we’re onto his schemes with the most ridiculous vehicle ever conceived since the DMC DeLorean! In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, we’ve had enough of griping about white supremacy and America’s march towards totalitarian fascism, and we’re gonna take a look at what’s at the box office this week – and yeah there’s some absolutely wild religious themed movies for you to choose from! In the number 7 slot this week, we’re going to add full time Fox News correspondent / professional MAGA complainer, and part time congressman Clay Higgins (7) to the ever growing list of People Who Somehow Got Elected! Taking the 8th slot this week is of course our weekly venture into the never-ending world of online tin foil hat nuttery in Conspiracy Corner (8) and this week – did MAGA election denier Mike Lindell trigger a white supremacist dog whistle when he discounted merchandise to the low, low price of $14.88? We’re going to say probably! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week, we have a new People Are Dumb, because of course they are! Finally this week it’s time for our weekly coverage of the ongoing election to end all elections in Road To The White House (10) and this week we’re going to talk about the baseless and incredibly weird conspiracy theory being floated by Trump and Vance about Haitians in Springfield, Ohio, eating pets, and it’s getting them in trouble in more ways than one! Plus to cap things off, we have our good friends Weezer joining us! Go see them in Inglewood next weekend! Enjoy! And as always, don’t forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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So remember not even three months ago when that guy who we inexplicably used to call president was involved in a shooting attempt? Yeah, and then the republicans attempted to call for “unity” between both sides when they’re actually the ones who spew more violent rhetoric than anyone else on the planet, and that lasted a total of… 2 days? We remember! In the last 10 days, there was in fact a 2nd attempt on Trump’s life. And while we briefly considered empathizing with the former president – yeah right, are you kidding me? Fuck that guy. Our reaction to the incident was – “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me, right?”. Well this is maybe the least shocking news of the day was that he was out at the golf course near Mar-A-Shithole in Florida on an unscheduled visit. But come on, we’re not buying that one for a second. As you dig into the circumstances surrounding the second attempt – well, things get weird. And not only do they get weird, they get highly suspect as well. Because once again, the shooter involved in this story was… SURVEY SAYS… a registered republican gun owner just casually exercising his 2nd amendment rights!

The man who authorities say pointed a rifle with a scope into former President Donald Trump’s golf club and was arrested is Ryan Wesley Routh, three law enforcement officials told The Associated Press.

The officials identified the suspect to the AP but spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the ongoing investigation.

Secret Service agents shot at the suspect, who was taken into custody after fleeing the scene of what the FBI is calling an apparent attempted assassination of the Republican presidential nominee. Authorities are working to determine a motive.

Read more: https://apnews.com/article/trump-shooting-gunshots-florida-f62f8378d3a8ce7b2e99d6a8fb40aba9

Yeah… this is like the Trump Who Cried Wolf, isn’t it? Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha… note to our MAGA lurkers, we do not wish death on anyone, no we do not. We’d rather Trump lose the election and wallow in his own crapulence for the remainder of his life and offering his own personal news commentary to Fox every night. But of course, speaking of the noise machine that makes news noise every single night, guess who republicans are passing the blame to? Yeah that’s right, us! And no, JD Vance, I am not going to tone down my rhetoric, nor is anyone else! You want to see us get angry about what’s going on? You ain’t seen nothing yet!

The Republican vice presidential nominee has spent considerable time touting violent rhetoric: He has elevated a dangerous conspiracy theory that Haitian migrants are eating pets in Springfield, Ohio, and baselessly insisted that liberal leaders are the ones inciting attempted assassinations against Donald Trump. (Thomas Matthew Crooks, who shot at Trump at a Pennsylvania rally on July 13, was a registered Republican. Ryan Wesley Routh, who attempted to shoot Trump at one of his golf courses on Sunday, voted for Trump in 2016 and supported a Nikki Haley-Vivek Ramaswamy Republican ticket.)

But while speaking before a crowd in Sparta, Michigan, on Tuesday, Vance tried to frame himself as someone above the noise, blaming President Joe Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris for the divisive attacks.

“We of course want to be as careful as possible and make it so we cut out the ridiculous rhetoric that I think has put a giant target on Donald Trump’s back,” Vance said. “All of us, whether we’re Republicans, Democrats, or independents, all of us can do a better job at showing respect at trying to debate our differences without going into personal attacks.

“Don’t lecture Donald Trump about softening his rhetoric after two people tried to kill him,” he continued, speaking directly to the media. “It’s ridiculous. Tell Kamala Harris. Tell Joe Biden, tell all of her surrogates who are saying things like ‘Donald Trump needs to be eliminated.’ They need to cut that crap out, or somebody’s going to get hurt.”
https://news.yahoo.com/news/j-d-vance-response-trump-184238871.html

Yeah that’s a statement so stupid that it gets the mega facepalm! Tell me you didn’t read the article without telling me you didn’t read the article! Because it’s not Joe Biden’s fault. It’s not Kamala Harris’ fault. It’s not Stephen Colbert’s fault. We’re staying out of this shit. No one spews more angry and increasingly violent rhetoric than conservatives do. Nobody packs gun stores the way conservatives do, and nobody enacts laws that gives guns more rights than humans and enables violent lunatics than conservatives do. Put all of these things together and it’s a powder keg waiting to go off. Come to think of it, when you put all of that together, we’re not surprised shit like this doesn’t happen more often in the gun country.

Donald Trump sought to rally his supporters Sunday with news of a possible second attempt on his life, blasting out a campaign fundraising appeal that said “there are people in this world who will do whatever it takes to stop us,” as his advisers urged campaign staff to be “vigilant” about security.

Trump was golfing at his West Palm Beach, Fla., club on Sunday when a Secret Service agent spotted a man holding a rifle with a scope in the tree line, officials said. Secret Service opened fire, and the suspect was eventually apprehended. The FBI is investigating the incident as a possible assassination attempt. The suspect — identified as Ryan Wesley Routh, according to multiple law enforcement officials — has written critically about Trump, but authorities have shared little publicly about him or his possible motive.

Trump was uninjured, according to his campaign. But the episode renewed questions about Trump’s safety.

[snip]

He suggested without evidence that his political rivals, Biden and Vice President Kamala Harris, personally made it more difficult for the Secret Service to protect him leading up to the Butler shooting. And he did not push back when a right-wing podcast host, Monica Crowley, accused government agencies of “slow-walking” evidence and asked Trump, “Does it look increasingly to you like this was a suspicious, maybe even inside job?”
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/09/15/republicans-react-apparent-assassination-attempt-trump-florida/

Oh just kindly go fuck yourself. Of course it was an inside job. It was members of your own damn party turning on you! But sure, go blame Kamala and Biden for this, it will not end well for you. But really, if you’re looking for someone to blame for this latest mess, take a look in the damn mirror. You guys are doing this to yourselves, it’s entirely self-inflicted! You’re the ones who are egging on violent lunatics with your *wink wink nudge nudge* cryptic messages every night. You’re the ones who make violent threats on Fox News every night. But yeah… let’s keep going there, it won’t end well for you. And hey it’s still a matter of time before Trump goes full Howard Hughes on us.

Donald Trump was the target of an apparent assassination attempt on Sunday, a mere two months after the Republican presidential nominee was shot in the ear at a rally in Butler.

There were no bullets fired by the suspect in Sunday's incident, thanks to what the Secret Service has labelled as a "hyper vigilant" agent who spotted a gun muzzle poking out from bushes at Trump's Florida golf course.

The suspect, Ryan Wesley Routh, faced court today and was charged with federal gun crimes. He could potentially face more charges.

The FBI is investigating Routh's social media accounts, which show a man with a strong focus on the war in Ukraine. The 58-year-old also has a criminal history dating back to the 1990s.
https://www.bbc.com/news/live/c8dp10d4vq2t

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[font size="8"]Alex Jones
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Let’s talk about schadenfreude for a minute. Yes, that German word that means “taking joy in watching the suffering of others”. Well the reason we bring it up this week is because noted professional stochastic terrorist Alex Jones may finally be getting his just desserts. Yes, one of the most inhuman, despicable, disgusting, depraved, and pathetic excuses for a human being in this country may finally have to hand in the keys to his empire and sell off his remaining assets. Yes, MAGA can be taken down. And you know what, it’s usually not in our nature to kick a man when he’s down. But considering that this low life chuckle fuck did just that, we’ll happily take an exception to that rule! Yeah, back in May, we reported that the families of the Sandy Hook massacre are finally getting what they deserve and payback for what Mr. Jones did to their lives and their community is going to be very sweet. In fact, what may seem like something straight out of a classic Simpsons episode, the Mad Man Of Infowars has been ordered by a judge to auction off all of his remaining assets to pay back his victims and settle that nearly $2 billion dollar tab he’s racked up.

Alex Jones' Infowars media business can be auctioned off starting next month so the far-right conspiracy theorist can make payments to the families of victims of the 2012 Sandy Hook shooting as part of a $1.5 billion settlement, a Houston judge has ruled.

Infowars' assets, including its social media accounts, copyrighted material and trademarks owned by parent company Free Speech Systems, will be liquidated in November. Additional Infowars assets, including studio equipment, would be sold at a later auction.

In a court hearing Tuesday, U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Christopher Lopez said he would approve the sale, but that he must first change a previous order to make clear that the trustee overseeing Jones' personal bankruptcy case controls all of Free Speech Systems' assets.

Jones and the company filed for bankruptcy in 2022 after losing defamation and emotional distress lawsuits by Sandy Hook families after he repeatedly called the Connecticut school shooting a hoax staged by "crisis actors." Adam Lanza killed 26 people, including 20 children, in the shooting, in Newtown, Connecticut.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/alex-jones-infowars-auction-settlement-sandy-hook-families/

Thank you Nelson! Yes, it couldn’t happen to a nicer asshole! Think about it – imagine losing a loved one, that’s hard enough. Imagine losing a loved one who’s barely a child – that’s something I can’t even comprehend. Then, imagine having this perpetually angry chuckle fuck and his army of goons that listen to him insult your family by saying this was staged and that it was all part of a false flag operation designed to take your guns away. The very same guns that caused this horrible tragedy and many subsequent massacres. So yes, this may be the final nail in the coffin for Alex Jones’ venerable Infowars brand. Where else are you going to buy crappy water filters and protein supplements?

A U.S. bankruptcy court trustee is planning to shut down conspiracy theorist Alex Jones’ Infowars media platform and liquidate its assets to help pay the $1.5 billion in lawsuit judgments Jones owes for repeatedly calling the 2012 Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting a hoax.

In an “emergency” motion filed Sunday in Houston, trustee Christopher Murray indicated publicly for the first time that he intends to “conduct an orderly wind-down” of the operations of Infowars’ parent company and “liquidate its inventory.” Murray, who was appointed by a federal judge to oversee the assets in Jones’ personal bankruptcy case, did not give a timetable for the liquidation.

Jones has been saying on his web and radio shows that he expects Infowars to operate for a few more months before it is shut down because of the bankruptcy. But he has vowed to continue his bombastic broadcasts in some other fashion, possibly on social media. He also had talked about someone else buying the company and allowing him to continue his shows as an employee.
https://apnews.com/article/alex-jones-infowars-bankruptcy-sandy-hook-e8bf9a3d11b9506abb18c285d3e7b138

Damn right! Alex Jones is one evil fuck. Now there is talk of what to do with the Infowars brand. Yes, Infowars – the symbol of right wing hate and assholery, could possibly get a rebrand because of this, and before I reveal who it’s going to be, I will say that Mr. Jones is not planning to go away quietly just yet – because if there’s one thing about MAGA that you need to know, is that they never know when to shut the fuck up. But regardless of the recent ruling – Infowars is going to continue! We can’t wait until he has to do his show from the sub-basement of an abandoned warehouse in New Mexico. It’s going to happen! You don’t know, you don’t know!

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones says he will continue his radio show for the foreseeable future, even after a federal judge ordered specific assets associated with his current show to be liquidated as part of his bankruptcy case.

The bankruptcy case is tied to a $1.5 billion judgement awarded in 2022 to the families of children who were killed in a mass shooting at a Connecticut elementary school a decade earlier. On his “Infowars” show, Jones concocted a number of conspiracy theories in connection with the shooting, some of which included false claims that the shooting never occurred.

The families of the shooting victims sued in Texas and Connecticut, saying fans of Infowars harassed and threatened them after hearing his conspiracies. Juries in each state found Jones liable for that behavior. Jones has since affirmed that the shootings did take place, and is appealing the civil verdicts.

Meanwhile, Jones filed for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection. The case was converted into a liquidation earlier this summer, paving the way for assets tied to Jones’ company, Free Speech Systems, to be auctioned off. A judge has set a tentative auction date for November.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/crime/alex-jones-vows-to-continue-show-after-judge-orders-infowars-liquidated/ar-AA1rhfpK?ocid=BingHPC

So now here’s a plot twist we didn’t see coming. You know who could possibly take over the Infowars brand? Media Matters. Yes, the far right hate spewing internet show could soon become a tool of the left! Yeah what goes around, comes around, right? And this is yet another example of why you shouldn’t play stupid games, because you could win stupid prizes. I mean can you imagine Infowars talking shit about conservatives? And being owned by Media Matters – the favorite punching bag of the MAGA elite including Bill O’Reilly, Glenn Beck and now Elon Musk! Holy shit, this is too damn good! Come on, let’s make it happen!

Media Matters for America is considering purchasing InfoWars after a Texas judge ruled the outlet could be liquidated to pay the families of the victims of the 2012 shooting in Sandy Hook, Semafor reported Sunday.

Texas and Connecticut courts found Alex Jones liable for paying the families $1.5 billion in damages for repeatedly claiming the shooting never happened. On Tuesday, judge in Houston ruled that Free Speech Systems, the parent company of InfoWars, could be liquidated and put up for auction.

On Sunday, Semafor reported that multiple liberal and nonprofit organizations are exploring bidding on InfoWars, including the left-leaning media watchdog group, Media Matters.

“We are diligently considering this acquisition,” Angelo Carusone, president of Media Matters, said in a statement to Semafor. Carusone also noted that the organization would consider examining InfoWars archives to see what the outlet has not published.
https://www.mediaite.com/media/left-wing-group-media-matters-diligently-considers-buying-infowars-report/

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[font size="8"]MAGA SCOTUS

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Look, before we get into this entry, I want to say that we are first and foremost, a comedy show. We usually don’t talk about death and it’s been our long standing policy on this program that we don’t touch subjects that are too horrifying to make fun of. In the case of things like mass shootings, we do take exception to trashing the people who made these terrifying events possible. We had a major internal discussion as to whether or not we should even broach this subject, but we felt it is a must. So last week, lost in all of the absolutely insane news that’s happening around the world, the state of Missouri – the Show Me State – executed Marcellus Williams at the hands of governor Mike Parsons. Williams – who was wrongfully imprisoned since 1988 for the stabbing death of Felicia Gayle – has maintained his innocence, but was tried and was in the hell that is America’s death penalty loop – for the last 32 years and well, it ended. But before we boo or point fingers at this latest instance of painfully wrongful injustice, let’s take a look at the people who made it happen in the first place. And of course, once again, we say that elections matter, people! This happened because Trump stacked the Supreme Court with MAGA loyalists. Who voted to pull the trigger!

The state of Missouri on Tuesday executed Marcellus Williams shortly after the U.S. Supreme Court rejected a request to delay the execution. The state Department of Corrections said he was pronounced dead at 6:10 p.m. CT.

Williams, who had maintained his innocence in the 1998 stabbing death of Felicia Gayle in a St. Louis suburb, was put to death by lethal injection.

Earlier efforts to halt the execution were denied Monday by the Missouri Supreme Court and Republican Gov. Mike Parson. His execution is the third in Missouri this year, and among five taking place nationwide across a seven-day span if the remaining three are carried out on schedule, according to the Death Penalty Information Center.

Justices Sonia Sotomayor, Elena Kagan and Ketanji Brown Jackson said they would have granted the request to halt the execution.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/marcellus-williams-execution-supreme-court-stay-denied/

Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Look, there’s nothing funny we can make about this, so we won’t go there. But if you want to know who to blame for this atrocity – blame Donald Trump, blame Mike Parsons, blame Amy Comey Barrett, Brett Kavanaugh, Samuel Alito, Clarence Thomas, and Neil Gorsuch. Blame Fox News. Blame your MAGA neighbors. Blame Mitch McConnell who helped steal SCOTUS from us. The list goes on and on and on. But most importantly – the conservative party helped make this happen. And they showed almost no empathy like the raging psychopaths that they really are.

The state of Missouri executed Marcellus Williams on Tuesday. He was almost certainly innocent, and his own prosecutors, as well as the family of his alleged victim, had sought to spare his life. The St. Louis Prosecuting Attorney’s Office urged the courts not to kill Williams, arguing that his conviction was fatally undermined by a startling lack of evidence, racial bias at trial, and the results of recent DNA testing. But the Supreme Court ignored these pleas: The justices refused to stay his execution in a brief unsigned and unreasoned order Tuesday, with all three liberals dissenting. Williams was strapped to a gurney and put to death by lethal injection shortly thereafter.

The doubts about Williams’ guilt are nothing short of overwhelming. They stand as a testament to everything that is wrong with the capital system we have erected under a regime that is meant to prize certainty and finality. Everything that could go wrong with a death-penalty prosecution is on display here: Williams’ conviction rests on the testimony of extremely unreliable witnesses who were motivated by promises of leniency and cash payments to accuse him of murder. No physical evidence connects him to the crime: not fingerprints, not footprints, not hair found at the scene, and not DNA collected from the murder weapon.

It also appears that the prosecution sought to exploit race against him at trial: A Black man, Williams was accused of murdering a white woman, and prosecutors struck six of the seven prospective Black jurors. And although the Supreme Court has ruled that race discrimination in juror selection is unconstitutional, the conservative supermajority didn’t care on Tuesday that Williams had been found guilty by a nearly all-white jury or that glaring due-process concerns undergirded his sentence.
https://slate.com/news-and-politics/2024/09/marcellus-williams-execution-supreme-court-due-process-hypocrisy.html

That’s an understatement if there ever was one! In fact, anyone who knows anything about the American death penalty system knows what an absolute clusterfuck it is. And we mainly have conservative republicans – who’ve been under the spell of Rush Limbaugh since the 1980s – to thank for why this system is such a mess. In fact, by not hearing the case – it just shows what a wrongful injustice was done, and the people responsible for this should be absolutely ashamed of themselves. But since the republican party has been taken over by brainwashed psychopaths, they most likely won’t feel any shame or empathy for this. But damn, I can’t even continue this one because this story pisses me off on multiple levels. Fuck everyone that made this happen. If there is a hell, it waits for you.

Missouri executed Marcellus "Khaliifah" Williams on Tuesday in the 1998 killing of a former newspaper reporter despite a prosecutor in the case and the family of the victim saying his life should be spared.

Williams, who always maintained his innocence − a claim backed by not only his defense team but later prosecutors − is now the third inmate executed in Missouri this year and the 15th in the nation. He was pronounced dead at 6:10 p.m. following the lethal injection, the Missouri Department of Corrections reported.

“Tonight, we all bear witness to Missouri’s grotesque exercise of state power," Williams' attorney, Tricia Rojo Bushnell, said in a statement, emphasizing how prosecutors have "zealously fought to undo the conviction and save Mr. Williams’ life."

Williams' son, Marcellus Williams Jr., told KSDK-TV: "This is a murder."
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/nation/2024/09/24/missouri-execution-marcellus-williams-lisha-gayle/75298897007/

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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There is a seemingly endless amount of shitty merchandise with the former president’s name and face on it out there. And when we say endless, we do mean endless. And he keeps coming up with new grifts every single day. Really, there’s so much shit with Trump’s name on it that you could make your own Home Shopping Channel dedicated to MAGA merchandise, and they’d probably buy every single item you sell! But please, keep lecturing us about gas prices! Trump’s latest grift – after getting into the NFT trading card game, and the sneaker game, is watches! Yes, he’s selling Trump brand watches for the low, low price of $499. Or you can opt for the higher-end model at $799. Or you can opt for the highest end top of the line Trump watch with something called a “Turbillion” for the low, low price of – wait for it - $100,000! Yes, the watches cost $100,000! Yes, just when you think that the line of officially licensed Trump merchandise can’t get any more cringe-worthy, new lows are reached on an almost daily basis with this guy! Buy now! They will go fast!

Donald Trump continues to roll out branded merchandise during his 2024 campaign and his next product, a line of watches, is quite pricey as some of them carry a six-figure price tag.

The former president announced "Trump Watches" in a Truth Social post on Thursday. The watches are currently available for preorder.

"The Official Trump Watch Collection is here, and these Watches are truly special — You’re going to love them," according to the GOP nominee's social media post. "Would make a great Christmas Gift. Don’t wait, they will go fast. GET YOUR TRUMP WATCH RIGHT NOW!"

A standard version of the watch, the "Red Silver Tone Fight Fight Fight," retails for $499. An "Onyx Gold Tone" version of the same watch costs $799.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2024/09/27/donald-trump-watches/75410781007/

Yeah come on! Who the hell would give these as a Christmas gift? Just perfect for the insurrectionist in your life who has everything! And in case you are wondering if something doesn’t pass the smell test here, I am here to tell you… you’re absolutely 100% correct in that assumption! In fact, if you read the terms of service agreement on the sale of these watches – there’s a very sinister motive hidden in all of that fine print. In fact, not only that, this is one of the shadiest and most densely worded and populated warranties you’ve seen this side of the Tesla Cybertruck. If you’re even thinking about buying one of these – just don’t. In fact, buy at your own risk!

Mary Trump, former president Donald Trump's estranged niece, raised several concerns about her uncle's latest collectible merchandise, limited-edition watches.

In a blog post Friday titled "The Non-Fungible Grift," Mary Trump, a vocal critic of the GOP presidential nominee, called his newly launched watch line "grifting his followers." Previously, he has sold limited-edition collectible Bibles and sneakers.

Trump announced his newest merchandise on Truth Social on Thursday, with watches that start at $499 and go up to $100,000, depending on the style. "The Official Trump Watch Collection is here, and these Watches are truly special—You're going to love them. Would make a great Christmas Gift. Don't wait, they will go fast," he wrote in the social media post.

In her post criticizing the watches, Mary Trump cited the terms and conditions on the watches' website, first noting, "The images shown are for illustration purposes only and may not be an exact representation of the product."
https://www.newsweek.com/mary-trump-four-red-flags-donald-trump-new-watches-1960640

No time machine, just watches. And it looks like some very poorly made watches on top oof that! In fact if someone gave me one of these for Christmas, I’d probably think way less of that person. Of course, you might be wondering – how the hell is this even remotely legal? To which I respond – come on, it’s Donald Trump. Knowing what we know about this guy, do you think he gives a shit about whether or not it’s legal? Of course not! This is a guy who cannot be told what to do. But if you’re thinking about splurging the $100K to buy the top end watch – again, read the fine print. These aren’t for you. They are for mega donors to launder money in plain sight!

As the U.S. election draws near, Donald Trump's introduction of a “luxury” watch priced at $100,000 raises more than eyebrows—it sparks serious concerns about potential loopholes for financial misconduct. Trump’s grifts these days are endless. It seems that almost every day he is hawking a new “Trump Coin,” a pack of NFT trading cards, or a Trump Bible. An in-depth investigation into these Trump-branded Tourbillon watches reveals several aspects that could potentially enable secretive and unregulated financial activities, which could allow for large amounts of cash to flow into Donald Trump’s bank account from unknown sources at a critical moment before the 2024 presidential election.

Key to the controversy is the method of payment accepted for these watches. Buyers can use Bitcoin, a digital currency favored for its anonymity. This capability to purchase high-ticket items like the $100,000 Tourbillon watch without traceable financial footprints poses a significant challenge to ensuring financial transparency. It opens the door to the possibility of moving large sums of money discreetly, circumventing traditional financial oversight and potentially violating campaign finance laws.

Trump Watches are marketed globally, available to international buyers, including foreign dignitaries and business magnates. This global sales strategy complicates adherence to U.S. regulations designed to prevent foreign contributions to political campaigns. The website's caveat that international customers handle their own taxes and duties adds another layer of complexity, distancing the transactions from stringent regulatory scrutiny.
https://www.meidasplus.com/p/trumps-100000-watches-a-gateway-for

Yeah that’s what this feels like – we’re living the movie Idiocracy! No more speculation, that movie is now a reality! And by the way, you hardcore MAGA cultists who say that Trump “sacrificed his wealth for America”, you can just go fuck right off with that shit. 147 watches at $100k with no guarantee of delivery – that’s $14.7 million going straight into his pocketbook! And MAGA falls for his crap every single time, because he’s playing y’all for chumps! But come on, if Brazil can indict Jair Bolsonaro over money laundering, surely we can get Trump for it too! And if you’re wondering whether or not these watches look incredibly cheap – you’re right about that too! They look like bootleg Rolexes you’d find for sale from a street vendor at Times Square for $50. But please, MAGA, keep buying his shit. Just make him president of the Home Shopping Channel and be done with it!

He’s hawked gold sneakers, commemorative coins and even a cryptocurrency venture in recent months, so Donald Trump‘s latest retail effort — to sell a pricey gold watch emblazoned with his name — should surprise no one. But timepiece experts aren’t impressed.

On Thursday, Trump debuted a pair of watches available for sale: a dive model dubbed the “Fighter” that is limited to 1,000 pieces and retails for $499 or $799 depending on style, and a seemingly high-end tourbillion design that is depicted as being crafted of 18-karat gold and embellished with diamonds on the bezel. Limited to 147 pieces, that model is listed for an astounding $100,000. All pieces display Trump’s name prominently on the dial, while the more expensive model features a sapphire caseback with his signature.

Word quickly spread among the status-watch community, which was overwhelmingly unimpressed. “This is cobbled together, patently unoriginal and vastly overpriced,” says Ariel Adams, founder and editor of A Blog to Watch, one of the industry’s most popular sites for timepiece information and education. “It’s very clear he’s working with a white labeler, which is nothing new. Anyone can go to a white labeler and say, ‘I want a watch with this case, this bracelet and these other details,’ and a white labeler will Frankenstein it together, put your name on it and sell it to you. But the price you sell it for is up to you. That the markup came from someone on Trump’s team is obvious here. Even the $500 piece from another brand would go for maybe $200.”
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/lifestyle/style/trump-watch-likely-made-in-china-overpriced-1236013728/

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[font size="8"]Cyberstruck: The Plight Of The Tesla Cybertruck
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Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!!! Holy shit, that may be my favorite intro ever! And hey, we didn’t have to change the AC/DC song much. Yes, some men want to watch the world burn, and one of those men is Tesla CEO Elon Musk. Welcome to our new segment Cyberstruck – detailing the misadventures of the world’s most poorly designed, poorly constructed, and overall batshit craziest monstrosity on 4 wheels not seen since the DMC DeLorean – the Tesla Cybertruck! Or as the great Lewis Black referred to them, Inbred DeLoreans. But the reason we’re covering this monstrosity exclusively is because, since buying Twitter in 2022 for the paltry sum of $44 billion dollars, and subsequently losing nearly $40 billion on that investment, Elon has made it well known that he’s a champion of super far right ideology and a Donald Trump superfan who wants to work in his cabinet doing… something, and the Cybertruck has become a symbol of MAGA. Hell, even Trump himself was gifted a custom Cybertruck by notorious neo-Nazi streamer Adin Ross, which may have violated several campaign finance laws. But not that they care about that sort of thing. So not only is the 2024 Tesla Cybertruck the most controversial vehicle in nearly 40+ years, it’s also a colossal piece of shit! If you’re thinking about dropping the $122K asking price, for one, you’re not our target audience. And two – don’t. Just really, don’t.

Tesla is recalling its rickety Cybertruck for the fourth time — and it's not something that can be fixed with an over-the-air software update.

The EV maker is hoping to fix trim pieces that can fly off while on the road and windshield wipers that aren't beefy enough to whip the four-foot blade across the truck's massive windshield.

More than 11,000 trucks that have been manufactured so far are affected, according to documents posted by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. However, that doesn't mean Tesla has actually sold that many trucks — many are still in storage, transit, or dealership lots.

It's far from the first time Tesla has struggled with its brutalist pickup. In fact, it's not even the first sweeping recall of the troubled vehicle — and a near-certain sign that customers who shelled out up to $100,000 for the vehicle may be in for more headaches still to come.
https://futurism.com/the-byte/cybertruck-recalled-again-parts-falling-off

Yeah so not only does the Tesla Cybertruck look like a dumpster on monster truck tires, it’s quite literally a dumpster fire. So since launching the Cybertruck back this March, the truck has been recalled not once, but FOUR times! Yes, four major recalls in 7 months is a ridiculous amount. But when conservative republicans and hardcore MAGAs believe that the government shouldn’t tell you what to do, this is what you get. For literally ½ the cost of the Cyberturd, you can get the Ford F-150 Lightning, which can actually tow shit, and has a cool feature where it can be used as a whole home generator in case of a blackout! In fact, the Cybertruck has been scolded by hardcore truck enthusiasts who have noted several failures in the design aspect of the truck.

As more and more Cybertrucks have started to get into customers’ hands, we have shared several Cybertruck accidents and their aftermath over the past few weeks.

A Cybertruck on a highway in New York state ran over a deer at 75 miles per hour. While a collision with a deer at 75mph would be a major incident for most vehicles on the road, the Cybertruck driver says his vehicle performed exceptionally, and the deer bounced off the Cybertruck cleanly.

We’ve also reported another incident involving a Cybertruck and a Ram pickup truck. The Ram pickup rear-ended the Cybertruck, leaving a Ram-shaped scratch on the Cybertruck. The Ram, on the other hand, was totaled.

There were also other Cybertruck crashes. In one incident, the driver claimed his Cybertruck accelerated on its own to cause the accident. In the video, the Cybertruck wheels can be heard screeching as the all-electric truck speeds straight into a house.
https://www.torquenews.com/11826/new-video-shows-tesla-cybertruck-sustaining-moderate-damage-despite-rolling-over-multiple

Yup, that’s pretty much what it’s like owning this monstrosity. You can’t even drive it through a fucking car wash! In fact, this video went viral on Tik Tok because of the fact that a Cybertruck got turned away from trying to get it washed. Which has sparked quite the debate online. And it’s not because car wash owners are turning away Cybertruck owners because of MAGA dude bro politics. Nope. It’s because car wash machinery would rip the car’s aluminum exoskeleton to shreds. Ha ha ha ha… to quote Professor Farnsworth, “To shreds, you say?”. But yes, it’s insane when the Dude Bro vehicle of choice that costs $122K can’t even go through a car wash machine!

TikToker and influencer Courtney Ferris (@courtferriswheel3) sparked discussion after revealing in a video, which has since garnered 134,300 views, that a car wash wouldn’t accept her Cybertruck.

“Well, it turns out that you can’t go through this car wash with a Cybertruck,” Ferris says, showing a sign near a car wash that reads, “Tesla CyberTrucks Not Allowed (Tesla Warranty does not cover Car Wash damage).”

“I don’t know why, but they don’t allow Cybertrucks,” Ferris continues. “It must be because they are too big maybe. Or look like a dumpster. I don’t know.”

“Hand wash only,” she captioned the video.

Some Cybertruck owners have shared the same complaints in forums, subreddits, and more about car washes refusing to accept their trucks.

Reportedly, this is due to the potential damage caused, such as one instance where a man’s truck completely stopped working after being washed—though it was eventually repaired.
https://www.dailydot.com/news/car-wash-refuses-cybertruck/

OK so maybe the Cybertruck doesn’t explode that easily. Maybe give it a few updates and it just might, because we all know what a greedy cheap ass Elon is. Even the logo for the Cybertruck is getting shit – what is this supposed to be? Graffiti? Some kind of weird cyberpunk motif? Something else? At least it’s not like the KIA logo which looks like the sister child of the Nine Inch Nails logo. Yeah, you cannot unsee that, can you? Well, you might want to turn on your car’s surround view cameras when you go out on the road now – because Elon just unlocked the Cybertruck’s full self-driving feature. So you might want to watch your backs, fronts and sides when you go out driving on the freeways – because otherwise you might get… Cyberstruck!

The Cybertruck has been on sale for nearly a year at this point, but it’s finally getting Tesla’s flagship (in Elon Musk’s mind, at least) piece of technology: Full Self-Driving. Members of the Cybertruck Owners Club forum are saying that the update enabling FSD has been installed on their trucks.

Shockingly, Tesla seems to have actually hit a target date with the rollout of Full Self-Driving… barely. The Austin, Texas-based automaker previously said FSD would be available in September, following the launch of Autopark, the Verge reports. Welp, Tesla rolled it out to some Cybertruck owners on September 30, so it got in right under the wire. Good job, guys.

The latest version of FSD (12.5.5) will start with Cybertrucks set up for the early access program. The new update apparently includes stuff like a vision-based attention monitoring system for drivers who are wearing sunglasses, according to a screenshot of the update posted on the Cybertruck Owners Club forum. It also includes “End to End” on highways, which isn’t worrying at all.
https://autos.yahoo.com/tesla-cybertrucks-getting-full-self-174300352.html

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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! Please be seated! You know, lately, we’ve been accused of talking about one subject way too much. And yes, we feel like we don’t talk about it enough. That subject is of course the religious right steering hard towards far right authoritarianism and America’s march to becoming a religious fascist theocracy. So you know what? We’re going to take a break this week and talk about a fun topic. Since the movie industry took a massive hit when the COVID virus showed up, leave it to America’s far right and religious to worm their way into the box office. But of course these are not people who worship GAWD or JAYSUS, they worship the unholy Dark One! I of course speak of a man who is so foul, so depraved and disgusting that his name dare NOT be spoken in my church! But if you’re a godly MAGA voter who has some time to kill and you want to go see a movie at the box office, why there’s plenty to choose from! Let’s of course start with the return of our favorite far right franchise, God’s Not Dead!

“God’s Not Dead: In God We Trust” (Fathom) and “Am I Racist?” (SDG) won’t register with most mainstream moviegoers, but this weekend they could rank as high as #3 and #4 (in either order), behind “Beetlejuice Beetlejuice” (Warner Bros.) and the debuting “Speak No Evil” (Universal). Also in the mix are Lionsgate’s new “The Killer’s Game” and the 8th weekend of “Deadpool & Wolverine.”

Of these, guess which two are top candidates for receiving the rare A+ Cinemascore.

There’s a history of lucrative performances for similar films that appeal to conservative faith-based or MAGA-related audiences (which frequently overlap). The progressive side has its analogs, particularly in Michael Moore documentaries, but for the last decade or more nearly all the preach-to-the-choir breakthroughs come from the right wing of the ideological spectrum.

Most fall far short of the grosses for “The Passion of the Christ” (Picturehouse) or “Sound of Freedom” (Angel). With budgets modest to small, and thrifty marketing with the ability to microtarget potential ticket buyers, this has become a vital market. Sony and Lionsgate lead the way for faith-based releases on the studio side, but it’s also a fertile valley for enterprising independents.
https://www.indiewire.com/news/box-office/gods-not-dead-will-be-a-hit-love-the-lord-and-the-cinemascore-1235046390/

Yeah, remember the Q Anon conspiracy flick Sound Of Freedom (if you don’t, check out our take from Idiots #15-4 )? It seems like religious films always find a way to sneak into the box office, like this. And some of them may make some money, but most usually don’t. Yes, Sound of Freedom was an anomaly just because the producers found a loophole to make money and exploited it! But let’s take a look at another, less successful Christian movie – “The Forge”. But if MAGA Christians are ready to celebrate “The Forge” dethroning “Blink Twice” at the box office, we’re here to remind you that’s not really a flex.

The Kendrick brothers, Alex and Stephen, from Albany, Georgia have been making Christian-based movies for two decades.

They have combined their writing, directing, and acting talents to produce popular movies like “Facing the Giants,” “Fireproof,” “Courageous,” “War Room,” and “Overcomer.”

Folks in Columbus were excited about the release of “Overcomer” in 2019 because it was shot in the Fountain City.

This weekend the Kendrick brothers are debuting their newest film “The Forge” which was shot in their hometown of Albany. Alex says the movie will be shown in over 1,800 theaters nationwide, adding that Sony is prepared to expand that number if the opening weekend goes well.

“The Forge” chronicles the struggles of 19-year old Isaiah Wright, portrayed by Aspen Kennedy. He’s the son of a single mom. He’s been out of high school for a year with no job and no ambition except to play basketball and video games.
https://www.wrbl.com/news/entertainment/debut-of-kendrick-brothers-film-the-forge/

Yeah so that’s basically every teenager that grew up in the video game era. But did anyone see any of those other movies? Anyone at all? I didn’t. Maybe big movies like that aren’t your thing and you prefer to watch movies of the documentary variety. Well, the one that has been lighting up with the MAGA religious right is the inexplicable hit by the Daily Wire’s Matt Walsh called “AM I RACIST?”, to which we always say – if you have to ask, it’s probably racist. But if Matt Walsh is trying to make the “AM I RACIST?” movie into the alt right’s version of Borat, well, he definitely fails because the alt right isn’t exactly good at comedy.

“Decolonize yourself. Do your own white supremacy dismantling, and then you can start to bring in other people,” declares Regina Jackson at a Race2Dinner in Atlanta, part of an ongoing series she co-founded with Saira Rao designed to help white women confront their own racism, white supremacy and xenophobia. Before anyone can respond, the waiter proposes a toast, instructing guests to “raise a glass if you’re racist.” They all oblige — although Jackson, who is Black, quickly puts her glass down and laughs. “Oh, I’m not racist,” she says.

The seemingly klutzy caterer has been interrupting the group all night long, dropping dishes and even pulling up a seat to explain that he’s got his DEI (diversity, equity and inclusion) certificate. Many of the guests appear confused and perplexed by his odd behavior. “I’m just on the journey,” he says.

He is on a journey — just not the one he professed to be on. He’s actually the conservative provocateur Matt Walsh, who, with the backing of Jeremy Boreing and Ben Shapiro’s right-wing media company The Daily Wire, spent months filming the documentary Am I Racist?, a comedic and scathing takedown of the DEI movement.
https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/general-news/how-am-i-racist-matt-walsh-1236008035/

Oh come on, is it really “scathing” if he says the same thing we’ve heard from the unholy Dark One supporters a thousand times? No! It just shows they have no original thoughts of their own. But no matter what your poison is at the box office, there is one thing you have to consider. And that is… he’s baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaack!!!! Yes, for the first time in 20 years, our LAWRD and savior JAYSUS returns to the box office! That’s right, my fair congregation! Next year, JAYSUS returns in The Passion Of The Christ 2: Electric Boogaloo! No, the working title is “RESURRECTION”.

Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ: Resurrection - Part 1 is confirmed, but the sequel looks to be a lot more controversial. In 2004, The Passion of the Christ took the world by storm with particular appeal to American evangelicals, and it was successful in many international markets as well. Principally inspired by the Gospel of John, The Passion of the Christ also incorporated a number of Catholic traditions and even the visions of Anne Catherine Emmerich (1774-1824). Its release became particularly controversial due to charges of antisemitism — not helped by Gibson's own personal controversies.

Since 2004, Gibson has openly talked about the possibility of making a sequel that continues the narrative. The Passion of the Christ was undeniably one of the most important Biblical epics ever made by Hollywood, so it's not really a surprise to see Gibson finally attempt to turn this into something of a loose franchise — especially at a time when franchises tend to have more drawing power than individual actors and directors. But it remains to be seen whether Gibson can pull off another hit, appealing to the same evangelical audience who responded so positively to the first movie.

Though a lot of development promises were made in recent years, the latest news comes as the first solid update on The Passion of the Christ: Resurrection in a long while. The news comes from director Mel Gibson's publicist, Alan Nierob, who offered a small but interesting tidbit to the media in September 2024. "All we can confirm is they were scouting locations recently. Not a lot to discuss at this early stage," said Nierob, hinting that work is plugging along behind-the-scenes. It's still unclear when the movie will begin shooting, or if the promised 2025 release window will hold.
https://screenrant.com/passion-christ-resurrection-movie-news-updates/

Yes, you still have time to repent before your savior returns, my fair congregation! Until then, there’s plenty of things to keep you occupied! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]People Who Somehow Got Elected: Clay Higgins
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Politicians at the state, local and national levels that are so toxic, you wonder how they got elected, or in some cases reelected. This is:



This week – Louisiana’s Clay Higgins (Q – Batshit). He’s a full time Fox News correspondent, professional GOP complainer, and part time Congressperson. But last week he came under fire for repeating Trump’s insane and completely racist lie about Haitian immigrants in Springfield, Ohio eating pets and park animals. Which, literally none of it is true. But here’s the thing – we often use the phrase “play stupid games, win stupid prizes”. But playing this dangerous conspiracy theory game like Trump and Vance are playing, is a stupid, stupid game. In fact it’s downright dangerous and it’s a game that nobody will ever win. So what did Louisiana rep. Higgins do to draw the ire of everyone who’s not a part of Rupert Murdoch’s fascist cult? Well, after Taylor Swift broke her political silence to endorse Kamala Harris, it seems that some folks on the right didn’t take it well. And some resorted to peddling some batshit crazy theories about Swift and the Haitian population of Springfield, Ohio. Which if you’re wondering why they picked Springfield, it’s because that’s JD Vance’s district. But yeah… maybe next time don’t go there, but you cannot tell this crowd what to do.

After a Haitian advocacy group filed criminal charges against former President Donald Trump and his running mate J.D. Vance, one member of Congress responded with a racist rant that is, frankly, completely in line with the character of the modern GOP.

Earlier this week, the nonprofit Haitian Bridge Alliance took advantage of an Ohio law allowing private citizens to file criminal charges against individuals, charging the Republican candidates with a series of offenses related to a smear campaign they promoted against Haitian migrants living in the town of Springfield, Ohio. Trump and Vance have falsely claimed that the migrants are undocumented, and have terrorized the town in a variety of ways — including by killing and eating local pets.

Rep. Clay Higgins (R-La.) responded to the charges from Haitian Bridge Alliance on X, formerly Twitter, with undiluted racism.

“Lol. These Haitians are wild. Eating pets, vudu, nastiest country in the western hemisphere, cults, slapstick gangsters… but damned if they don’t feel all sophisticated now, filing charges against our President and VP,” Higgins wrote. “All these thugs better get their mind right and their ass out of our country before January 20th,” he added.
https://www.rollingstone.com/politics/politics-news/clay-higgins-haitian-migrants-racist-rant-1235112454/

Yeah probably. And don’t think for a minute that Rep. Higgins didn’t get in trouble for this extremely racist comment, because he absolutely did. But not only did he apparently set a new benchmark for racist and evil conservative ignorance, he apparently got censured for it. Yes, that was briefly floated about by Democratic members of Congress. But by the way, who spells it “vudu”? That makes it seem like it’s some kind of internet streaming service. It’s spelled “Voodoo”, or “vodou” and it is something of a religion in parts of the Caribbean, but is apparently illegal in Higgins’ home state of Louisiana. Which makes this even more weird. But anyway – yes, it would be a good idea to censure Higgins for this, but nothing will come of it. Because MAGA has a “get out of jail free” card thanks to their vast and heavily funded propaganda system.

House Democrats attempted Wednesday to quickly censure a Republican congressman who slandered Haitian immigrants in a post he made on social media, but GOP leadership stamped out the effort.

Rep. Clay Higgins of Louisiana described Haitians in racist terms Wednesday afternoon, calling them “wild. Eating pets, vudu, nastiest country in the western hemisphere, cults, slapstick gangsters” in a post on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter. Higgins, a far-right lawmaker who has voiced conspiracy theories, deleted the post after Democrats confronted him on the House floor.

The Haitian community in Springfield, Ohio, and beyond has faced an onslaught of racist abuse after Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump and his running mate Sen. JD Vance falsely claimed that Haitians were eating pets.
https://apnews.com/article/house-republicans-haitian-immigrants-87ea8b8d376fba4cc0017eae102299da

Yes, we are aware about the current conditions surrounding Haiti. But that’s not something that you should say out loud, in public. People seem to forget that platforms like Twitter and Facebook are pubic and that anyone can search for anything you say. So by saying something like this, it’s a pretty dead giveaway that’s what you really think about people. But of course, even censure won’t get anyone in trouble here. Because the MAGAs put party over country and party unity means more than actually doing the right thing and flushing these turds down the sewer that they came from. But not only did he say that disgusting shit about Haitians in Ohio, he doubled down!

Rep. Clay Higgins (R-La.) defended his deeply racist comments about Haitian people even though House Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) claimed the lawmaker had prayed about the post and regretted it.

“It’s all true,” Higgins told CNN Wednesday, even though he ultimately deleted the widely condemned tweet. “I can put up another controversial post tomorrow if you want me to. I mean, we do have freedom of speech. I’ll say what I want.”

“It’s not a big deal to me. It’s like something stuck to the bottom of my boot. Just scrape it off and move on with my life,” he added.

Earlier Wednesday, the lawmaker had expanded on the racist lies pushed by Republican nominee Donald Trump and his running mate, JD Vance, posting on X (formerly Twitter) that Haitians are “eating pets” and come from the “nastiest country in the western hemisphere.”
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/clay-higgins-racist-tweet-backlash_n_66f52ad5e4b0b663235f52a3

Yeah probably! But what happens when you’re a MAGA representative and you get called out for saying or doing something stupid? You of course retreat to Fox News and repent your sins on Sean Hannity every single night, while blaming it on the other guy. Which is why we say that MAGA representatives are not really representatives, they’re more content creators for Fox News. Which is why they don’t get in trouble, because they can just go on Sean Hannity’s show every night, and he will kiss it and make it all better. So yeah, just delete the tweet and move on, is apparently what is happening. But we can’t let him get away with it.

“It’s all true,” Higgins said, according to the news organization. “I can put up another controversial post tomorrow if you want me to. I mean, we do have freedom of speech. I’ll say what I want.”

The Congressional Black Caucus on Wednesday condemned his comments and introduced a resolution to censure Higgins.

“Referring to Haiti as the ’nastiest country in the western hemisphere’ and denigrating Haitians with vile and demeaning terms goes against a foundational principle about our country: that America is a nation of immigrants where all are welcome,” the caucus said in a statement. “Every member of Congress must be clear that we need to eliminate hate in all its forms. It is time to turn the page on this pattern of denigrating and villainizing immigrants for political gain.”

House Speaker Mike Johnson told reporters during a press conference on Wednesday that Higgins was approached by congressional members about the post and took it down, saying the lawmaker “regretted” what he posted.
https://www.npr.org/2024/09/26/nx-s1-5129844/clay-higgins-racist-comments-haitians-backlash

That’s Louisiana’s racist MAGA Fox News Correspondent Clay Higgins, just another one of the toxic politicians to add to the ever-growing list of:




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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! Of course conspiracies exist when people simply don’t want to read the article past the headlines and just flat out make shit up. We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter from deep within the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location, of course! Let me just adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! They are trying to read yours and my thoughts, after all! This week, controversy hit the embattled CEO of a once thriving pillow manufacturing and distribution company – My Pillow. Yes, shocking, I know. But the controversy wasn’t the fact that founder and CEO Mike Lindell is a noted insurrectionist and Trump super fan. The controversy came because of what his pillows were priced. Can we show that? Yes, that’s right, my fair audience – his pillows were priced at the low, low price of $14.88. Yeah, right? How the fuck can you price them at that price and not know what that means? In case you don’t know, 1488 is racist code and we’ll explain that in a bit. But come on, dude, admit it – you know exactly what that means since that’s who you choose to hang out with!

Conspiracy theorist and pillow-pusher Mike Lindell is facing backlash online after his company marked down some of its pillows to $14.88, a figure seen as symbolic for white supremacists and neo-Nazis.

On Friday, Lindell and his MyPillow business advertised the discounted products on social media, promising consumers the “ultimate comfort upgrade.”

“Sleep like a dream with our Standard MyPillow for just $14.88!” the posts read in part.

Below an image of Lindell holding two pillows is a large graphic prominently displaying the price.

The number “1488” is a common symbol used among hate groups. The “14” is shorthand for the “14 Words,” a stand-in for a white supremacist slogan, while “88” refers to an abbreviation of “Heil Hitler,” since H is the eighth letter of the alphabet.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/mike-lindells-latest-pillow-price-190532118.html

Yeah so what’s he going to call it now? Mein Pillow? Ha ha ha ha ha ha… I’d be expecting a call from Mike Lindell’s lawyers… but oh yeah, he’s broke! But here’s the thing – you can’t intentionally price something at $14.88 and *NOT* know what it stands for! For those of you who don’t know – “14” is Nazi code for “14 words” which I won’t post here. But the “88” is the 8th letter of the alphabet which is H, and 88 means “HH”, which stands for “Heil Hitler”. Wtf. Seriously, come on, dude, you know exactly what you did. I mean, if we know who Trump’s main fan base is, surely you do too!

Mike Lindell has hit back against the claims that his new MyPillow price is inadvertently linked to neo-Nazi propaganda.

Lindell spoke to the New York Post following Newsweek's report on Lindell's MyPillow advertisement that prices his Standard Classic Pillow at a number that is affiliated with neo-Nazi slogans.

Lindell told The Post: "I have no idea what this is all about."

On September 20, MyPillow posted an advertisement that marked down the pillows from its sale price of $29.99 to an even lower price of $14.88.

This price came to the attention of both historians and online neo-Nazis as the numbers 14 and 88 are dog-whistles in white supremacist circles.

The number 88 is used as shorthand for Heil Hitler, as "H" is the eight letter of the alphabet. The number 14 refers to the "14-word-slogan" by David Lane, a member of white supremacist group The Order. Lane, who died in prison serving 190 years for racketeering and violation of civil rights, said: "We must secure the existence of our people and a future for white children."
https://www.newsweek.com/mike-lindell-baffled-nazi-claims-my-pillow-priing-1958447

So here’s a question that we have – if Mr. Lindell is unaware of the Nazi symbolism associated with the number 1488, why is he so insistent that his pillows be priced that way? If there’s one thing we’ve learned about the Trump cabal over the years that we’ve been doing this program, is that they’re not easily told “no” about anything. So rather than do the right thing and denounce neo-Nazis, he’s instead doubling down! That’s right! One minute, Lindell denies that he was unaware of the Nazi symbolism and the next, he’s insisting the prices be $14.88! Does he just like that price number or is he actually trying to tell us something?

Conspiracy theorist and pillow-pusher Mike Lindell is doubling down on a controversial pillow price after selling some of his products for $14.88, a figure seen as symbolic for white supremacists and neo-Nazis.

Lindell, the CEO of MyPillow, had advertised the discounted price in various social media posts Friday.

“Sleep like a dream with our Standard MyPillow for just $14.88!” the posts said.

Lindell received thousands of comments on X, formerly Twitter, criticizing the price due to its similarity to “1488,” a code used by hate groups.

Among white supremacists, “14” is shorthand for a racist 14-word slogan, while “88” refers to an abbreviation of “Heil Hitler,” since H is the eighth letter of the alphabet.
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/mypillow-guy-doubles-down-on-pillow-price-evoking-nazi-symbolism/ar-AA1rcHlZ

Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Great movie! But come on, seriously, someone at My Pillow had to tell the boss “Hey! You think that selling our products at this price might be a bad idea?”. Well, for one thing, of course it’s a bad idea. But look, if you’re going to go down that road, at least pick a lane and stick with it – either you’re against neo-Nazis, or 1488 is just a random number that you happened to pick because you like that price. And we all know what Trump’s most hardcore base is like. They wave Nazi flags and shout white supremacist rhetoric more than anyone else on the planet! Either you’re a Nazi… or you’re not. Where’s Aldo Raine when you need him?

Conspiracy theorist and pillow-pusher Mike Lindell is facing backlash online after his company marked down some of its pillows to $14.88, a figure seen as symbolic for white supremacists and neo-Nazis.

On Friday, Lindell and his MyPillow business advertised the discounted products on social media, promising consumers the “ultimate comfort upgrade.”

“Sleep like a dream with our Standard MyPillow for just $14.88!” the posts read in part.

Below an image of Lindell holding two pillows is a large graphic prominently displaying the price.

The number “1488” is a common symbol used among hate groups. The “14” is shorthand for the “14 Words,” a stand-in for a white supremacist slogan, while “88” refers to an abbreviation of “Heil Hitler,” since H is the eighth letter of the alphabet.
https://www.huffpost.com/entry/mike-lindell-pillow-price-alleged-nazi-dog-whistle_n_66ef01d5e4b0859639dabf43

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course, you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb! So I always want to preface by saying exactly what makes a People Are Dumb story. Someone who steals chicken nuggets from a McDonalds? That’s not a People Are Dumb story. Someone who steals the entire restaurant’s stock of chicken nuggets then threatens to destroy the place because they ran out of hot mustard sauce? Now that’s a People Are Dumb story! And as usual, our policy is to omit the names and addresses of those involved in each story. First off, let’s start with this story out of the south Texas border. You know, Republicans love to talk shit about what’s going on at the border. Well everything from drugs to weapons has been in the discussion. But you know what hasn’t been in the discussion? Meat. That’s right – apparently bologna is forbidden in Mexico because of the way it’s produced. So when you get caught with 700 pounds of it…

A 43-year-old woman crossing the U.S.-Mexico border into Texas told officers that she had cooked meat in her vehicle.

As agriculture specialists at the Presidio port looked further, they found several heavy suitcases containing 40 rolls, weighing in at 748 pounds, of bologna in her SUV.

But the rolls were not the type of bologna that can be bought at a deli counter in the U.S., rather it was an illegal meat that posed a threat to the U.S. pork industry, U.S. Customs and Border Protection said in a Sept. 25 news release.

“Mexican bologna is a prohibited product because it is made from pork and has the potential for introducing foreign animal diseases,” CBP said.

https://www.dailyitem.com/wire/over-700-pounds-of-illegal-bologna-stuffed-in-suitcases-seized-at-texas-border-feds-say/article_15c40c06-6cbe-52c9-ba8e-180aac0327c1.html

It’s true! It’s true! Next up – we go to my home of Orange County, California for this one! Hey even we’re not immune from the stupid criminal scene! Well, as we know, anyone who’s spent any amount of time in the greater Los Angeles area knows how much traffic around here just flat out fucking sucks. So, of course, when your city is notorious for it, naturally, you’re gonna see some people try to look for creative ways to get around it. Well, this one isn’t exactly creative because there’s literally been entire sitcom plots around it. So yeah, maybe don’t use a mannequin so you can drive in the car pool lane because it doesn’t exactly work that way.

One carpool lane violator must've felt like a dummy when he was pulled over recently by Brea police.

In heavy traffic Wednesday evening, a pickup truck pulled out suddenly from the carpool lane on the northbound 57 Freeway close to a Brea officer on a motorcycle.

The officer pulled up to the driver's open window to warn him about being more careful when changing lanes.

That's when the cop noticed something funny.

The "passenger" in the man's vehicle was actually a female mannequin in a hoodie, placed there to apparently let him fake his way into the carpool lane on a regular basis.

The driver admitted he had been using the mannequin for a while, Brea police said, and now he would just have to resign himself to sitting in traffic like everyone else.
https://abc7.com/carpool-lane-hov-violation-mannequin/1523353/

Yeah that’s probably a good idea! Next up – of course, you know that we cannot get out of here without mentioning our favorite state in the United States. I’m of course, talking about America’s most penis shaped state – Florida. The Sunshine State. As Homer Simpson called it, America’s wang. And yes, we did get a lot of requests to do the story on the doctor that removed the wrong organ twice, no, we’re not doing that one because it involves death. Moving on. Here’s a great Florida Man story. You know, it’s one thing to say that your school sucks. It’s another thing to say it by throwing an old, used toilet through the school board office’s windows. Yes, that happened!

An alleged toilet chucker from Florida is facing a felony charge after flinging an old crapper through the window of the East St. Louis school board's headquarters, authorities say.

Police were called to the scene on February 15. There, officers were told that a man carried the commode up to the building and launched it through the front glass before sprinting away, police say.

Officers later found [omitted] about a block away, at the corner of Eleventh Street and Cleveland Avenue. They are pretty sure they have the right guy. He was sitting on a second old toilet, police say.

He is now in custody on a charge of criminal damage to property, a Class 3 felony. His bond is $10,000.
https://www.riverfronttimes.com/news/florida-man-who-threw-toilet-through-window-in-east-st-louis-found-with-second-crapper-30452530

No food fight. Toilet fight yes, which is far grosser! Next up – if you’re being followed by the cops and you need to get away, the one thing you probably shouldn’t do is act like Tarzan. Yes, the legendary king of the jungle, known for climbing trees, is someone who should stay a character. Yeah come on, cue the music for this one! Oh oh oh oh oh oh WHOA oh oh oh oh oh oh WHOA oh… Tarzan man! Well, this guy from Port Orange, Florida, channeled his inner Tarzan by escaping the police by climbing the nearest palm trees. At least take some advice from George Of The Jungle – watch out for that tree!

A Florida man was found hiding in a tree on Tuesday, two hours after allegedly fleeing Port Orange police.

[omitted] was accused of speeding away from police during an attempted traffic stop, according to a Facebook post from the Port Orange Police Department.

Police used stop sticks to damage the [omit]. A Volusia County Sheriff’s Office aerial unit found the vehicle in a backyard, where [omitted], 31 abandoned it. McCartney was arrested nearby, according to Port Orange police. She was charged with resisting without violence, possession of paraphernalia, and a probation violation.

The nearby Edgewood Police Department’s K-9 unit was called to the area to search for Kiser. They found him hiding up a large oak tree about two hours later.
https://www.wfla.com/news/shirtless-florida-man-found-climbing-tree-like-tarzan-after-police-chase/

Finally this week – you know we’re in an election year. And yes we usually don’t bring up politics in this segment. But I got a lot of requests to do this story because it’s just classic Florida Man. Florida has seen what may be one of the largest and most devastating hurricanes not seen in over half a century with Hurricane Helene. But hey, keep electing shitbags like Ron DeSantis and see where that gets you, but that’s a topic for an entirely different entry. Well, naturally the first thought of your average Florida Man criminal is “let’s get looting!”. Well rather than loot crucial supplies or maybe the nearest electronics store, guess here these two chuckleheads went? They went to the Trump merchandise store! That’s right – they’ll nearly drown in a hurricane just to “own the libs”! You really cannot make this stuff up, ladies and gentlemen!

Two Florida men were arrested after allegedly ransacking a strip mall 'Trump Store' during Hurricane Helene.

Police assigned to patrol the closed-down area of Madeira Beach where they spotted two men outside a collection of shops Friday evening, one night after Helene made landfall.

They found (omitted), loitering despite the issued state of emergency, and in possession of various Trump-themed merchandise, styles which were carried by the retail shop.

The beachside 'Trump store' in the Tampa Bay area was "unsecured due to damages from the storm," according to the police affidavit obtained by The Smoking Gun.

(omitted) was wearing a "Trump cowboy hat," which he claimed "washed up from the hurricane, and that's how they ended up in his possession."
https://www.latintimes.com/florida-men-loot-trump-store-during-hurricane-make-off-trump-cowboy-hats-coffee-mugs-police-560965

That’s it this week for:

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[font size="8"] Road To The White House 2024
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Welcome back to our segment that lumps all of the election coverage of the 2024 election to end all elections in: Road To The White House! This week, as happened in both the presidential and vice presidential debates – you may have heard the right wing floating an absolutely bizarre conspiracy theory about Haitian immigrants eating pets. Which all stemmed from social media. It all stemmed from vice presidential candidate JD Vance. And it’s even more bonkers than you would ever possibly think it was. So what is Trump going to do about it? Well, he’s going to go to Springfield to prove the conspiracy exists himself! To which we say – hey, every time a republican attempts to prove the batshit crazy theory they’ve concocted, it never ends well for them! And in case you’re wondering, why yes, the actual residents of Springfield, Ohio, are quite horrified that they’re the target of this insanity, and as for Trump’s pending visit, well, they’re not having any of it. In fact, even his own advisors think this entire thing is very poorly planned and won’t reflect well on him. But come on, when has that ever stopped him before?

The fallout from unsubstantiated claims about Haitian migrants eating people's pets in Springfield shows few signs of slowing down. Former President Donald Trump spoke at a rally Wednesday night, where he said he would be visiting Springfield, Ohio, "in the next two weeks."

"I'm going to Springfield," Trump said at a rally in Uniondale, New York.

The city has boosted security in the past week, as it's placed under a national spotlight over immigration debate.

The shared sense of anxiety is not limited to Springfield's migrant community, which has seen explosive growth in recent years, straining city services. School and city building received more than 30 fake bomb threats over the last week, prompting Gov. Mike DeWine to step in and deploy troopers to protect school buildings.
https://www.wlwt.com/article/donald-trump-springfield-ohio/62281209

OK, MAGA, keep going there about Trump being the lord and savior of America’s children, because judging from the fact that schools in Springfield are getting literal bomb threats, and he’s doing absolutely nothing to denounce this shit, shouldn’t that be a sign he doesn’t care? But the hate, lies, and conspiracy theories aren’t a bug with this crowd, they’re a feature. And wherever they go, death and shooting threats follow. Holy shit, don’t we live in the scariest of times right now? It seems like it’s just getting worse, doesn’t it? And the idea of Trump going to Springfield to prove this insanity proves what a crazy psychopath he is, and he won’t take no for an answer. But again – the current republican party – the reason why we can’t have nice things in this country!

Donald Trump is doubling down on his bizarre and aggressive rhetoric against Haitian migrants in Springfield, Ohio, saying that they’re “destroying” the country.

The former president promised his rally crowd in Uniondale, New York on Long Island that he would visit the small city which suddenly found itself in the midst of a vicious news cycle as Trump and his running mate JD Vance pushed false claims circulated online that Haitian migrants were stealing and eating domestic pets.

During the debate with Vice President Kamala Harris in Philadelphia on September 10, Trump said the Biden-Harris administration has been “allowing these millions and millions of people to come into our country.”

“A lot of towns don't want to talk about it because they're so embarrassed by it,” he added. “In Springfield, they're eating the dogs, the people that came in. They're eating the cats ... They're eating the pets of the people that live there. And this is what's happening in our country, and it's a shame.”

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/first-trump-said-haitian-migrants-in-ohio-were-eating-the-pets-now-he-says-they-re-destroying-america/ar-AA1qOa9P

Yeah they’re the ones embarrassed about it. Really the people who should be embarrassed about this are Trump, Vance, and their personal propaganda outlet, Fox News. Because they’re the ones who helped formulate and fester this blatant lie meant to initiate harassment and fear, but they won’t, and nothing will come of this either. They won’t learn their lesson, which will only further copycat instances of terrorism. They won’t be punished, either. So when this story dies down, it will be another instance of same shit, different day. At least actual Haitian-Americans have their shit together and are denouncing this crap. If only the media would listen!

Several dozen Haitians and allies gathered on Federal Plaza with an umbrella in one hand and Haitian flags in the other Sunday afternoon. The gloomy sky and near-constant downpour did not dampen their admonishment of former President Donald Trump's unfounded accusations that Haitians were stealing and eating pets in Springfield, Ohio, and the onslaught of racist attacks that have followed.

"I watched his debate and, initially when I heard (Trump's comments), I didn't know he was talking about us," said Rebecca Brutus, 13. "I don't know people who (eat pets) who are Haitian or aren't Haitian."

She and her sister Sarah, 15, grew up in the Chatham neighborhood to a Haitian-born mother and a first-generation Haitian American father, Patrick Brutus, who was one of the rally organizers. The girls found out Trump was talking about Haitians on the internet.

"I was appalled," said the other Brutus sister. "I feel like we've been pretty quiet. We haven't been doing anything to have this comment made against us."

Read more at: https://www.fresnobee.com/news/nation-world/national/article292895784.html#storylink=cpy

Yeah that is a good question – WHY??? Look, as long as the conspiracy wing and the Trump wing have a stranglehold on the GOP, this is the kind of shit we will be dealing with for the foreseeable future. Yes, it sucks, and it sucks that we cannot have nice things in this country, like immigration or functioning school boards. Seriously, the hate and harassment of Haitian Americans because of this worthless fucking bullshit conspiracy has just totally ruined everything. Even the hate and harassment within Springfield exploded exponentially. And it’s all because of some baseless bullshit. But please, Trump, do go there, it will not end well for you!

A cache of internal emails obtained by 404 Media using a public records request show the chaos caused by the unfounded racist conspiracy theory that Haitian immigrants are “eating the pets” of residents in Springfield, Ohio. The emails show city officials scrambling to deal with bomb threats, hateful and threatening emails and phone calls, a media bonanza, and confused residents in the immediate aftermath of the presidential debate, in which Donald Trump said “in Springfield, they’re eating the dogs, the people that came in. They’re eating the cats. They’re eating the pets of the people that live there.”

Trump’s running mate, JD Vance, told CNN that he has been willing to “create stories” about immigration in Springfield for media attention, which also came up at Tuesday’s vice presidential debate with Tim Walz.

404 Media obtained all emails that include the word “Haitian” sent to or sent by government officials in Springfield between September 8 and September 12, the days leading up to and immediately after the September 10 presidential debate. In total, we received hundreds of emails. The emails show, again, that there is no evidence of Haitian immigrants harming animals, and show a small staff of city employees dealing with a nightmare situation that focused a huge amount of attention on Springfield.

On September 9, two days before the debate, Springfield city manager Bryan Heck emailed all employees warning them about the narrative, which had already gone viral on X.
https://www.404media.co/internal-emails-reveal-how-hate-overwhelmed-springfield-after-trumps-lies-about-haitian-immigrants/

[font size="4"]And Now This: [/font]
[font size="4"]Weezer[/font]

Folks – my next guest is one of the best alternative rock bands of the 1990s, they are touring in support of the 30th anniversary of their classic “Blue Album”. You can see them on tour through Oct. 12th including stops in Inglewood and Palm Springs. Playing their song “My Name Is Jonas”, give it up for the legendary Weezer!

Thank you Las Vegas! This was fun! We’re off to Gonzaga in Spokane next with live music from the legendary 311! See you next week!

Credits

Host: Initech
Weezer Appears Courtesy Of: BMG Rights Management
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of A Live Audience At: Cox Pavilion at University Of Nevada, Las Vegas, Las Vegas, NV
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