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Related: Editorials & Other Articles, Issue Forums, Alliance Forums, Region ForumsThis showed up on my Facebook memories today from four years ago...
I did not write this, only shared it. It is really pretty much a universal experience, with only details changed, of most women, not matter what her age. No other comment needed.
Im 18 and go to my first fraternity parties with girlfriends. We dont ever say it out loud but its understood that we need to stick together at these parties and not get separated, for our own safety.
Im 20 and Im working as a hostess at the Red Lion Inn in San Jose, near the airport. Men in suits come in to eat after their meetings during the day and I see them take off their wedding rings before heading into the bar next to the restaurant. Every girl who works there learns quickly not to bend too far over because of the short skirts of our uniforms.
Im 22 and its my first day on a new job. My male supervisor gets me into a room alone and I think hes going to tell me about the job but instead he tells me about how much he likes sex and how he needs to have it every day. I get up and walk out of the room and avoid him after that, but I dont tell anyone because Im one of the only women there and I dont know what to do.
Im 24 and Im watching Anita Hill on TV, testifying about a man who wants to be on the Supreme Court. I dont understand everything Im watching but I understand that shes a black woman facing down a panel of white men and she is going to lose because, at 24, I do understand who has power and who does not.
Im any age in my 20s and Im walking on the street, in a park, in a city, in a suburb, anywhere. Men tell me to smile, to wait a minute, to slow down whats my hurry, can I ask you a question, can I stand too close to you, can I demand your space, your time, your attention, hey where you going bitch?
Im 25. Im buying my first car and the salesman offers a price I know is way too high. I bring my stepdad to the showroom and the same car is now $3000 less. I smile and buy the car but inside, Im seething.
Im any age in my 30s and I think about where I park, where I go, whether I should get in that elevator that only has one man in it and how I should make sure not to make eye contact with men in the streets. All of this is normal to me and I dont question any of it.
Im 35. Im buying my second car and the salesman says we should wait for my husband to get there before talking about the price but would I like to see the makeup mirror? I tell him Im a lesbian and, if hes waiting for my husband, hes going to be waiting a long time. I leave because Im learning.
Im 40 and a woman, Hillary Clinton, is taking a serious run at the Democratic presidential nomination. Shes smart, tough and qualified but she endures endless anger, viciousness, and misogyny and she eventually loses in the primary. Male friends tell me its probably for the best because theres just something they dont like about her, you know?
Im 49 and a man who said he grabs women by the pussy is elected as the 45th President of the United States. The night of the election, I feel physically ill and my first conscious thought is my God, the Supreme Court. The next morning, I overhear two men laughing and congratulating each other about the election and I feel unsafe in my own country.
Im 51 and another man who stands credibly accused of sexual assault has just been confirmed to serve on the Supreme Court. I see women on television sobbing, screaming, protesting, crying out in their anguish and their fear. I am so angry. I think of every woman I know and I am so angry.
I am any age, every age. I am a woman. I am a daughter. I am discounted. I am underrepresented. I am underestimated. But I am a voter. Today, that has to be enough. Copied from someone else.
rondawson
(13 posts)WOW! Beautifully said. And so compelling in its truth.
barbtries
(29,901 posts)there was a list of things adolescents were unhappy about. Ten items. "Being a girl" was one of them.
It's so far past the time that women and girls are recognized as the fully human people they are. sigh
iluvtennis
(20,912 posts)slightlv
(4,396 posts)Could tell a story of our life just like this... only the names and places would change.
Powerful!
littlemissmartypants
(25,706 posts)not fooled
(6,086 posts)(if you believe whatever polls) are prepared to vote for red don all over again. That is a direct slap in the face to ALL women. Voting for a "tough guy" or whatever their sick rationiale is, counts more than women suffering and dying in agony because of forced birth policies. And, the economy is no excuse--it's way better because of Biden and his policies. Stupidity, ignorance, and cruelty...
Disgusting. Just when I thought my opinion of a large portion of this country couldn't get any lower...
BattleRow
(1,221 posts)and encouraged by multiple spheres of society..religion,peer pressure...etc.
I heard many years ago a MAGA type complaining about women,quote,
"Yeah,those bitches got it made. Half the money and all the p---y."
IMHO,that's how a lot of that type STILL think.
calimary
(84,494 posts)You speak for MILLIONS of us. Totally, Utterly, Blisteringly RIGHTEOUS!!!
Botany
(72,585 posts)Last edited Sun Oct 13, 2024, 03:46 PM - Edit history (1)
Women are pissed off. And so are lots of XY guys too.
Btw if you want to help in the blue wave and if you can donate a little something to
Kiley Adolph in Eastern Indiana and Congressperson Mary Peltola in Alaska. Heavy
lifts but doable.
leftieNanner
(15,718 posts)I was followed into an elevator at the last second but a well dressed tall blonde man. I sensed some rhythmic movement by him in the corner. I got off on the fourth floor. He began to follow me. But there was a garage attendant on that floor. He stepped back in and the doors closed.
After the fact, I realized that he had been rubbing himself. I dodged a serious bullet.
Joinfortmill
(16,550 posts)And I've been to every one of those places and worse. I survived it all, and lived to tell the tale. Today, the men in my life are loving and supportive. I am lucky.
TBF
(34,536 posts)I am in my 50s and grew up in a small town. I know how to handle myself to avoid attention, and to not be alone where problems can happen. That is what we learned when we were growing up. So many things - like when I had my first check from a job and needed a bank account. My mom took me in to the bank and immediately told the teller who her father was, and that this is the granddaughter who now needs an account. We weren't members of the community in our own right - we were an extension of successful men.
Even today I see men on this forum talking about how it would be "bad" if Trump won, but we "would survive". I guess many white men probably would feel that way. After all, they haven't had to deal with being 2nd class citizen their entire lives. And it will not just be "a little bad" if Project 2025 is set in motion, it will be the end of any independence women now have.
Skittles
(159,908 posts)I have been advised by men MANY TIMES to "smile more" - my response has always been the same: FUCK OFF
gawd, would they EVER say that to a man?
niyad
(120,394 posts)sense (and experience) to leave me alone. A guy (who apparently could read neither body language, nor faces), did the smarmy "smile, why don't you?" I managed to curb my first instinct (too many witnessess), and instead snapped, "I have to work with assholes like you all day. So, tell me, WHAT do I have to smile about?" , and walked away.
niyad
(120,394 posts)Rights And Issues? Thanks in advance.
Hermit-The-Prog
(36,602 posts)Clouds Passing
(2,507 posts)Tweedy
(1,198 posts)This great country in which we all yearn to be free
Discovering how wonderful it is to watch Kamala Harris, a strong, lovely woman run to be our President.
Her opponent is an unhappy fellow, consumed by his jealousies and hates, no doubt. Mr. Trump can cling to his hate if he must; I will not let his, or anyone elses need to inflict pain, take this wonder away from me.
Together we are going to make a better world with less misery. We are removing lead pipes right now from our water supply. There is no doubt, therefore, that tomorrow will be better.
Have faith in the ineffable strength of our peoples Union. Spread that faith to all you know. Then one day your Facebook memory will be President Harris signing the law that restores our right to privacy. Let your imagination run at full speed dreaming. Feel the wonder again.
Lonestarblue
(11,920 posts)I am in my 20s or 30s bleeding heavily from a miscarriage and sitting in my car in the hospital parking lot because I live in a red state and have been refused care until I am on the verge of dying. I may die in my car if I do not have the strength to make it back into the emergency room.
2naSalit
(93,073 posts)60s and I am so sick of this bullshit that I am looking forward to the day I can finally fall off this fucking planet. Men have consistently ruined my life, over and over again by standing in my way about every fucking thing in my life. I'm sooooooo fucking sick of it.
But I wake up every day in a world being created and destroyed by men.