We're screwed people.

[Duncanpup]

The maga cult has found out about Bidens weather machine. Now how in the hell can we deny the conspiracy theorist in that why do hurricanes only happen in hurricane season.

[hlthe2b]

1. My cold-loving pup just wants it to snow... So, guess what, Floridians!

[MarineCombatEngineer]

2. Wait until they find out about the Volcano and Earthquake machines,

they'll really lose their shit.

[GopherGal]

14. Oh, I thought that upgrade was still in beta

to add the volcano option to the Space Laser?

[MarineCombatEngineer]

24. Well, to be fair,

they haven't quite worked out the bugs on it, but they're getting close.

The truly sad thing is that some MAGAt's are going to read this thread and believe it.

[DENVERPOPS]

39. And they have un-disputable proof

the Dems have control of the weather machine.... because the hurricanes are predominately hitting mostly States that voted for Trump......... How much proof do we need??????????/

[PeaceWave]

3. Loose lips sink ships. Shut up about our weather machine secret...

Before "they" find out any more about it.

[Quiet Em]

4. Isn't it crazy how they believe nonsense like the "weather machine"

but not the actual science?

[Duncanpup]

5. Exactly my friend

[Diamond_Dog]

6. It's even been documented with a photograph!

[Duncanpup]

8. Oh my goodness

[Evolve Dammit]

13. See how easy it is you suckers and losers??

[jfz9580m]

47. Okay that is totally not the latest model!

As Naomi Wolf (who now apparently talks to Steve Bannon) shrewdly pointed out, Apple was involved with the time travelling Covid vaccine.

You think Apple wouldn’t have a role in the Hurricane Machine? It would be small, neat and modular like a typical Apple product!

[Hermit-The-Prog]

55. And just 1 button, but a beautiful display.

[jfz9580m]

56. Yup!

This thread is gold ….It would be a Duzy were JeffR still around…

[Captain Zero]

62. Is the subscription paid for?

That would be the final requirement for the APPLE Hurricane Machine.
Whose got a card with enough credit line?

[ShazzieB]

60. That looks more like Bob Barker than Biden to me.

But then I suppose that's all part of the clever subterfuge!

[birdographer]

7. Wait till they hear about

how starting any day now, the sun will only shine on blue states. They will really lose it then.

[Evolve Dammit]

15. "Oh that's gold Jerry"

[rubbersole]

30. What if they find out where the libs hide the sun every night?

[surfered]

9. Why no tornado to drop a house on the Wicked Witch of Mar-a-Lago?

[usonian]

10. That's just bullshit. Dems would blast him at every chance.

I even asked for a sign from God, and this is all I got.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

28. Where in the world was that last one?

[usonian]

35. "The Internet", USA

Other than that, no idea.
May be synthetic.

[PoindexterOglethorpe]

38. Oh, okay.

[usonian]

42. That's a blank canvas. I could write anything. (I didn't do this one)

There are many "sign generators" on the internet. You can look them up. There's a famous "church sign generator" site.

Be good!

[Bettie]

11. Nah, we're not

I mean, remember when they found out about Obama's time machine (you know, the one he used to go back and put a birth notice in that newspaper?) and they eventually forgot about that one too.

OR the Jewish Space Lasers...the moon landing....

There is no conspiracy too foolish for them to grab onto.

[Evolve Dammit]

18. "Jewish space lasers" are just fucking baffling. They are F'ing Insane. Nt

[Bettie]

51. Yeah....they are all insane

and they believe every single one of them.

They seem to be empty vessels waiting to be filled with whatever bullshit people want to shovel.

[Evolve Dammit]

53. But WE have our weather machine that can spawn tornados and hurricanes. Shhh. Keep it in the family.

[AZ8theist]

12. How do hurricanes happen on a flat Earth WITHOUT that machine??????

Morans want to know.................

[BaronChocula]

16. Well for Pete's sake, just don't tell 'em about

the illegal immigrant cloning machine or the Make Kids Drag Queens Pill!

[HeartsCanHope]

17. I laughed out loud when I read this--thanks Duncanpup!

You made my day. Take care!

[sakabatou]

19. Just wait until they find out about the portable black hole generator.

[Evolve Dammit]

20. Ooh. That's a good one. Shhh!

[Poiuyt]

21. I've been too busy waging war against Christmas to work on the weather too

[BeneteauBum]

22. MAGA friend and weather

A MAGA friend of mine brought up today the potentially brewing weather in the Caribbean during the next week or so. With a straight face, I said the Democrats should use the Jewish space lasers to direct the storm(s) to Haiti, Nicaragua, or Venezuela and get rid of the murderers, rapists, and pet eating thieves. He was dumbfounded that a very liberal friend would utter such a thing…..the sarcasm was totally lost on him.
Vote Harris/Walz (and weather control)!
Peace ☮️

[usonian]

23. Finally found it. Took some time.

and THAT accounts for the national vacuum tube shortage! AHA!

[RobinA]

31. The Cat Ladies

at work. That figures. If they had husbands and children they wouldn’t have time to be in the working world making storm machines and such. Although, to tell you the truth I thought they used spells, not machines.

[GopherGal]

44. To the ignorant and superstitious mind...

advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

Hence the old crone/witchcraft accusation stuff to which they subjected our cat lady forebears (in Salem and elsewhere)

Beware the fruits of the childless cat lady's use of her free time...

Or, as Taylor sings:
"Who's afraid of little old me?"
You should be

[Captain Zero]

64. The Original Tubes aka...

Twisted Sisters.

[Disaffected]

25. Man, I hope Yellowstone

doesn't decide to pop off - better keep the volcano machine well concealed.

[coprolite]

58. Maybe we should be worried about the West coast

The coast of California could slide off in the Pacific Ocean or better yet, slide south of the border and reveal the Earthquake Machine.

Think of all the new beach front property that will be available.

[keithbvadu2]

26. Marjorie, Why can't you republicans control the weather?

Marjorie, Why can't you republicans control the weather?

Are you stupid?

God won't let you?

[EverHopeful]

27. They're just mad that our magic, hurricane-directing Sharpie works

[PikaBlue]

29. Because if we send hurricanes during tornado season it gives the game away.

[LiberalArkie]

32. And always before the election cycle

[IronLionZion]

33. Yes, humans can't change the climate but liberals have a secret weather controlling machine

[mountain grammy]

34. We could use a little rain here in Colorado

Thanks.

[tavernier]

36. It had to happen sooner or later.

At least they don’t know about the chemically indoctrinated houseflies that buzz his diapers from a distance, and the lethal cobra venom they carry. But until now no fly has been able to get close enough to him because of his stench barrier. But, the latest word is that there is a new breed of super fly in the works.

The Air Force has tentatively named it Joe Mama.

[Sneederbunk]

37. Biden aiming at red states November 5. 'Nuff said.

FEMA will not show up until 6th.

[dameatball]

40. It may be a weather machine now but in three years it will be a weather device....and everyone will have one.

Kids will not be allowed to use them in class.

[Figarosmom]

41. Stop it

Freepers are still around us

Quiet space

[DavidDvorkin]

43. Let us resolve to become unscrewed people.

[Smackdown2019]

45. Secret ingredient

Salt is the secret ingredient to produce these hurricanes. The chemical reaction with the mixer of hot water expands the ratio of particlemixer base from 4:1 to 9.2.
The atmospheric pressure is then controlled by our other secret weapon, the battlewagon. This battlewagon produces obscene amount of CO2 that float over the Atlantic or Caribbean waters. This creates the cloud particles for the hurricanes to form from. The top secret part of this battle wagon is we gathered the Maga 4x4 trucks that do the coal rolls, we did leave the national trump flag on them so any country see it, they would know its not ours. The best part of this top secret project is we plan this during the hottest part of the year and near Presidential elections. So, please dont the word out and maybe the trumpers could take all the salt away to stop our secret project. Forget about their coal rollers......

[Layzeebeaver]

46. MAGA can always more to Hertford, Hereford, and Hampshire...

they can avoid the hurricanes from there

[CommonHumanity]

48. Damn...you scared me.

I realized after reading your post that it was a joke, but man.....in these times, your headline scared the bejesus out of me as I wondered what fresh new hell had been announced. Whew...for now.

[Xavier Breath]

49. Some apparently forgot that the first rule of weather machine is that you do not talk about weather machine.

[RainCaster]

50. Why don't we have hurricanes North of the Mason Dixon line?

It's the gummint doing this!

[kevink077]

52. Pretty good for senile dementia patient!

Controlling the weather? He has gone from senile to world class scientist in just a month!

[Evolve Dammit]

54. Damn. I was hoping it would stay secret.....

[DemonGoddess]

57. What they're neglecting to tell you

is that the weather machine is powered by the Jewish Space Laser! It helps to direct it where to hit.

[4lbs]

59. Years ago, some Xtian nationalist said that tornadoes and hurricanes were "God's wrath

and punishment for sinners".

They tried to quote some biblical passages as proof.

EDIT: This was shortly after Hurricane Sandy slammed New York and New Jersey, I think. It was also around the time of the *GASP* picture of then Governor Chris Christie hugging President Obama thanking him for FEMA aid.

To which someone replied, "Umm.... then why do they hit 'RED' states about 20 times more often, and more often in the Southeast US, which has been called the Bible Belt?"

That person shut up and never mentioned it again. I guess there was a lot more sinning done in those states eh?

[ShazzieB]

61. That reminds me of something Pat Robertson said about Hurricane Katrina.

He claimed that Katrina hit New Orleans in 2005 because God was angry about abortion.

Years earlier, he hosted Jerry Falwell on his TV show just days after 9/11. When Falwell blamed 9/11 on "the pagans, and the abortionists, and the feminists, and the gays and the lesbians," Robertson expressed complete agreement.

Ascribing natural disasters and other calamities to the wrath of God against "sinners" has long been a favorite tactic of the Religious Right!

Source for the above and other examples: https://newrepublic.com/post/173397/pat-robertson-statements-explain

[Montauk6]

63. You mean that sound box with weather sounds to go to sleep to? THEY FOUND OUT!!!???

WHO LEAKED THIS!!!!! WE NEED AN INVESTIGATION!!!!!

[guss]

65. The Battle

Last edited Mon Oct 14, 2024, 04:46 PM - Edit history (1)

We as Democrats keep sending hurricanes to the red states .
Trump can use his magic sharpie to send them elsewhere. then nuke Them.
If he does that we can use Jewish space lasers to destroy the nukes. Then we make more windmills to blow the fallout to red states, The windmills are killing birds and whales. We can use all the Meat from the windmill killings for illegals food program that we send here to make Rapist and a murderous gangs. and Trump will send em back on sinkable Tesla Boats to decide to die by battery charge or shark attack. just amazed they made it here at all with the Trunps incomplete falling wall. Man this place is a mess. Californian's keep their Forests swept up we are all safe