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Top 10 Idiots

(629 posts)
Thu Oct 24, 2024, 04:00 PM Oct 2024

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #17-11: If I Can't Have Love, I Want Power Edition

Last edited Fri Dec 6, 2024, 01:48 PM - Edit history (3)


Top 10 Conservative Idiots #17-11: If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Yoooooooooooooooooooooo!!! What’s up Villanova, how you guys doing? Sold us out again! You guys doing fucking good? Great! I’m sure you know, next week is our last regular Top 10 before the general election. Holy shit, time flies, doesn’t it? Well of course, as is tradition, like we have done with the 2020 and 2016 elections, we’re taking a breather, we’re sitting this one out. Because we don’t need to remind you that, until the dust settles and Kamala is declared the rightful winner, you don’t need to see our bullshit. We’ll just sit here and twiddle our thumbs and stare at amusing dog videos on our Instagram feeds until the dust settles. But in the meantime, until we return, we’ve got not one, but two episodes of our spinoff program Holy Shit: The Sunday Sermons for your enjoyment! In the first episode, we take a look at religious themed movies hitting the box office, and in the second, we’re going to take a look at batshit insane Oklahoma superintendent Ryan Walters going full MAGA Taliban. Plus we’ve got four more to come! OK, do we have time for the thing? Of course we do! OK, who here has been to Sea World? Well, regardless of what you think about the San Diego staple, the park is under fire because a whale had what the press release is calling a “gastric episode”. Yes, you heard that correctly. In the middle of a show, no less. So that’s right – the tourists attending the whale show got covered in, well, whale shit. Which of course is causing the park to do some major damage control. Like, I always love when a story like this breaks and you see the press release from HR that says something like “We always strive to put on the best product we possibly can”. Really? I mean… I’m sure they probably plan for everything, but I’m not sure that whale diarrhea was in their plans. But you can imagine there were some pretty angry tourists who were attending that show. Of course, will this get resolved in time? Maybe, maybe not. But anyway the press release is unintentionally hilarious and it’s definitely worth reading. OK enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to! But first the Daily Show’s editorial of the week is from LaVerne Cox, who has some insights into the insane conspiracy-fueled GOP war on the LGBT and especially the T community:



So where do we begin for this week? Well, the number one slot is of course that guy who we inexplicably used to call president, and is scarily a coin flip away from becoming our next one again – Donald Trump (1). He’s had quite the week, and after his batshit crazy town hall last week, what is he hiding about his mental capacity? If that wasn’t rock bottom, what is? WTF! In the second slot is also Donald Trump (2). He’s canceling most of his appearances this week and going full mob boss in regards to his favorite news network hidey hole – Fox News. So what exactly is going on with this guy? Well, we intend to find out! In the number 3 slot this week, we have to talk about a bizarre conspiracy theory that seems to rear its’ ugly head and is mainly nothing more than outrage bait – the notion that trans athletes in sports (3) have an advantage over biological females. But we’re calling their bluff – the people complaining have probably never actually seen a real women’s sporting event, have they? Of course they haven’t. In the number 4 slot this week, we’ve normally been avoiding the polls (4) because there’s just too many of them and it’s impossible to keep up with what’s trending or not, but apparently the betting markets are going all in on Asshole 45, but why? We hope they are wrong. In the number 5 slot this week is the return of our segment on the plight of the world’s most insane monstrosity on 4 wheels – Cyberstruck (5)! Yes, Tesla has been getting into the law enforcement business, and no, it’s not exactly what Elon had in mind. In fact, real police officers think differently! In the number 6 slot this week is of course our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit” (6) and this week, could the far right achieve their ultimate goal of a total nationwide abortion ban? Well they’re hedging their bets on this and it’s all the wrong people! In the number 7 slot this week, we’re profiling the extremely controversial far right MAGA worshipping pastor of Cavalry Church in Chino Hills, California, Jack Hibbs (7) in a new “This Fucking Guy”! Taking the number 8 slot this week is our weekly venture into the never ending world of online tin foil hat nuttery in Conspiracy Corner (8), and this week, with the right wing screaming like spoiled toddlers about “election integrity”, the AG of Texas, Ken Paxton, has a scheme of his own. What is it? We don’t know, but it’s there! In the number 9 (NEIN!!!) slot this week is a new I Need A Drink – we have to go across the pond to our good friends in the UK for this story, because a uniquely British sport – Conker – is involved in a massive cheating scandal, which is too weird the more you dig into it! Finally this week, it’s time for our weekly election round up in Road To The White House (10), and this week, Kamala steps out of her comfort zone and invades Trump’s turf when she’s interviewed on Fox News, and she definitely scored some points! Unless, of course, you watch Fox News for more than 5 minutes. Plus to cap things off, we have live music from Imagine Dragons! Buy their new album "Loom" or you are no friend of this program! Enjoy! And as always don't forget the key!

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[font size="8"]Donald Trump
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We don’t need to tell you what an absolutely banner and incredibly bizarre week it’s been for Donald Trump. And this was after last week, which was equally batshit insane. We even planned to have this entire space be about his bizarre town hall appearance where he just stood there and played songs off an iPad for nearly 40 minutes. And come on, nothing gets the party going like Ave Maria, am I right? You don’t know! You don’t know. Also in the news which we don’t even have time for this week, is that Trump launched his own line of cryptocurrency, which, since everyone knows that you don’t read the fine print, 70% of that money goes to Trump family members, because let’s face it, living the private jet Louis Vitton mega mansion lifestyle is hard, yo! And they need money! NOT. But this week, in what was an apparent F-U to Kamala saying that her first job was at a McDonalds, he decided to head to a suburbian McDonalds drive-thru and pretended to cosplay as a McDonalds employee. Which, this might be one of the weirdest campaign stops ever.

Former president Donald Trump briefly manned the fry station during a stage-managed visit to a McDonald's franchise here on Sunday, but he dodged a question about increasing the minimum wage.

Wearing an apron, the Republican presidential nominee lifted fries out of the hot oil, shook them, salted them and placed them into containers for service. He praised the staff and the company, then popped his head out the drive-through window and waved at a crowd that had gathered across the street. He began to hand out paper bags to the cars that had been waiting in line before his arrival. One man said, "Trump 2024!" as he drove away.

The restaurant was closed to the public during Trump's visit, and the motorists whom Trump served were screened by the U.S. Secret Service and positioned before his arrival. No one ordered food. Instead, the attendees received whatever Trump gave them.

Trump was at the fry station for about five minutes and spent about 15 minutes at the drive-through window, much of it taking questions from reporters.
https://www.washingtonpost.com/politics/2024/10/20/trump-mcdonalds-minimum-wage/




Ba da da da da da … I’m *NOT* loving it! To give Trump the benefit of the doubt, this might be the first time in his entire life that he’s ever done any real, actual work. Even if it’s just for fifteen minutes. Oh and the other thing they probably forgot to tell you – the particular McDonalds franchise in question that he chose was run by a die-hard MAGA fan and was currently closed for health inspection and code violations. Which, come on, if the rumors about Trump’s lack of hygiene and his adult diaper usage are true, that place is practically a level 3 biohazard. Not quite Chernobyl or COVID at the beginning of March 2020 level, but certainly enough that you should at least quarantine and wipe down everything accordingly.

The McDonald's restaurant where Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump briefly worked on Sunday failed its latest health inspection, documents show.

The former president manned the fry station and served takeout to people in the drive-thru lane in Feasterville-Trevose in Bucks County, a key swing voter area in battleground Pennsylvania. The restaurant was closed to the public for Trump's visit.

Trump, a big fan of McDonald's food and a self-professed germophobe, was seen in footage shared by his campaign on social media putting on an apron, frying a basket of fries, scooping fries and serving customers through a drive-thru window.

A report from the Bucks County Department of Health after an inspection on March 27 cited health code violations at the restaurant, including employees not having "hands clean and properly washed."
https://www.newsweek.com/mcdonalds-donald-trump-worked-failed-last-health-inspection-1971998




Oh and by the way, in case you’re wondering, why yes, of course Trump is using this campaign stop to hawk more of his shitty merchandise, in this case – t-shirts. Ha ha ha ha!!! Yes, hello lawsuit! Got to love it when the people in the audience are funnier than you are! Thank you, sir. Moving on, but this campaign stop was certainly divisive. And I always love when the corporate offices have to put out the press release saying that they don’t approve of what that particular franchise owner is doing. But it’s good that corporate stepped in and put a stop to future campaign stops. But they should have done this before it happened. No doubt that particular owner was keeping corporate in the dark. He should lose his license for this.

McDonald’s has been thrust into the 2024 election, gaining particular attention over the weekend when former President Donald Trump served fries at a Feasterville-Trevose, Pennsylvania, location. But McDonald’s had nothing to do with Trump’s visit.

The company operates on a franchise model, which means the vast majority of its locations are independently owned and operated. Although franchise owners have to abide by certain guidelines in their agreements with the parent company, they are free to invite political candidates to serve fries without McDonald’s buy-in.

The company said Sunday in an internal memo to employees obtained by CNN that it did not invite Trump or the attention the election has brought it — but the company spun the spotlight as proof that McDonald’s remains a key part of everyday American life for millions of people.

“As we’ve seen, our brand has been a fixture of conversation this election cycle. While we’ve not sought this, it’s a testament to how much McDonald’s resonates with so many Americans,” the company said in its memo. “McDonald’s does not endorse candidates for elected office and that remains true in this race for the next President. We are not red or blue – we are golden.”
https://www.cnn.com/2024/10/21/business/mcdonalds-trump-visit-statement/index.html




Oh by the way, conspiracy theory fuckheads and Fox News hosts– yes, Kamala did work at McDonalds despite what your talk show host overlords tell you. Trump shows up for fifteen minutes pretending to serve large orders of fries to people and right wing media swoons all over him, like Taylor Swift fans at her latest show. And by the way, MAGA conspiracy theorists – no, we’re not “in hysterics” over this latest publicity stunt. In fact, that sound you hear is us laughing *AT* you, not with you because of how stupid you look. In fact, after this stunt, a whole bunch of internet pranksters went and review bombed the McDonalds location on Yelp. Which got so flooded with review bombs that Yelp locked the page and is deleting most of the fake reviews. Which, yes they deserved it, but really, people, don’t stoop to their level. In fact, if you’re thinking of doing this… don’t.

After an influx of reviews and comments, Yelp temporarily disabled users' ability to post about the McDonald's in Feasterville, Pennsylvania, that Donald Trump visited for a campaign appearance.

Noorie Malik, Yelp’s vice president of user operations, confirmed the company's decision in a statement emailed to USA TODAY.

"For Yelp to remain a useful resource to the community, reviews must be based on a genuine, firsthand experience with the business," Malik's statement read. "Due to the increased public attention we saw after former President Trump visited a McDonald’s in Feasterville, PA on Sunday, Oct. 20, we worked quickly to temporarily disable the posting of content to the page and placed an Unusual Activity Alert on Monday, October 21."

It is unclear how long Yelp users will be unable to comment on or review the McDonald's in Feasterville.

"When we see the activity dramatically decrease or stop, our moderators will clean up the page so reviews describing only firsthand consumer experiences are reflected.”
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/2024/10/23/trump-mcdonalds-pennsylvania-yelp/75807528007/





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[font size="8"]Trump Canceling Appearances

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We’re just two weeks away from the election. And you’ve really got to wonder with all of this – exactly what the fuck is going on? Donald Trump’s popularity has hit a plateau. He is not gaining any new followers. Yet the polls have him just barely edging out Kamala. But he’s been canceling appearances left and right because his handlers say he’s – and I’m quoting – “exhausted”. His rallies have become absolute shit shows. But you know, this is the cost of keeping your name in the news 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Trump will go and hawk his stupid merchandise – his NFT trading cards, his stupid looking sneakers, his $100,000 watches which look like cheap knock offs that you’d get from a street vendor in Times Square in New York City, his own line of crypto currency… and whatever the fuck this is. The list goes on and on! But when you’re trying to win over voters, you cannot keep canceling appearances, but this is the price you are paying. And there’s definitely something that they’re not telling us about Trump’s health, and Ronny Jackson cannot rig another cognitive test the way that he did the last time (see: Idiots #9-6 ). Sigh, another reason why we can’t have nice things in this country!

Former President Trump's planned appearance at a National Rifle Association event next week was cancelled Thursday, the latest in a slew of scuttled public appearances and interviews by the former president in recent weeks.

Why it matters: With only 17 days to go until Election Day, the spate of cancellations gives voters fewer chances to hear from Trump before heading to the polls in a coin toss race.

Vice President Kamala Harris, on the other hand, has been on a media blitz after enduring criticism from Republicans about a perceived lack of interviews.

And while Harris has ventured into the unfriendly territory of a Fox News interview, Trump has stuck to the safe spaces of conservative outlets.

In the appearances he has made, Trump's rhetoric has grown more violent and nativist. In recent weeks, he has decried his critics as the "enemy from within" and fanned the flames of false conspiracy theories about migrants.
https://www.axios.com/2024/10/18/trump-cancels-interviews-2024




Yeah you gotta wonder if something is up. You know the really scary thing? If somehow the GOP gets back into power, we could potentially be a Big Mac away from a JD Vance dictatorship, and who’s to say he won’t leave office even if he’s forced out? Insanity. But if he’s this exhausted, then why is he even being considered for the most powerful office in the United States? There’s something that they are not telling us, and something definitely doesn’t pass the smell test here. In fact, our good friend Halsey has a new album out this week, so why don’t we name this week’s edition after her previous album “If I Can’t Have Love, I Want Power”? Ha ha ha ha ha!!! Good use of that cover there. But yeah, something stinks and we need the GOP to show us their poker face!

Donald Trump reportedly canceled a planned Tuesday appearance with Robert F. Kennedy Jr. and former congressmember Tulsi Gabbard for a health-focused virtual town hall, according to his team, citing “changes in Trump’s schedule.”

The switch-up is the latest in a series of canceled or rescheduled appearances in recent days, which fueled reports that the former president, 78, was becoming too “exhausted” to fully campaign in the tight race against Kamala Harris.

The Republican has backed out of planned interviews with CNBC’s Squawk Box, the Shade Room podcast, and NBC.

The campaign has pushed back on this narrative, calling the exhuastion claim “unequivocally false.”
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/trump-cancels-rally-rfk-gabbard-b2633794.html



Yeah nothing to see here! Please disperse! Just come on, GOP! Just admit you want absolute power and one party rule so we can vote against you already. Seriously, what happens if they get reelected and Trump dies in office or they use the 25th amendment to install JD Vance as dictator for life? It’s truly insane to think what could happen, and there’s nothing good that would come of it. Which is why we have to do everything to stop MAGA at all costs! We’ve only got two weeks to flush Trump and his MAGA turds down the Fox News sewer they came from for good! But come on, Joe Rogan is who you’re going to? That’s your flex? Sigh.

After backing out of several major interviews at the last minute, Donald Trump has one last major appearance on the horizon: The Joe Rogan Experience.

The Republican presidential nominee will be meeting with the former Fear Factor host on Friday, reported Politico. It’ll be the first time that Trump has appeared on Rogan’s podcast.

Over the last several months, Trump has made a concerted effort to reach young, male voters by signing up for a slew of interviews with podcasters, including Twitch ban-ee Adin Ross; the Lex Fridman Podcast; Six Feet Under, hosted by wrestler Mark Calaway (perhaps better known as The Undertaker); and Theo Von’s podcast, This Past Weekend.

Meanwhile, Trump has aggressively dodged more mainstream news appearances, including going so far as to break election tradition by refusing to sit for a 60 Minutes interview in September, which he reportedly backed out of last-minute over fears that the rigorous show would fact-check him.
https://newrepublic.com/post/187405/donald-trump-cancels-events-joe-rogan




Move along people!! There’s nothing wrong with this, except the guy who wants to be president is one Big Mac away from ending his presidency. See? Isn’t this concrete proof that a “garbage in, garbage out” lifestyle is bad for you? And I’m not just talking about the copious amounts of fast food that he eats, either. I’m also talking about his copious amounts of Fox and Newsmax consumption too. That shit rots your mind, while the fast food expands your waistline. Put both of those two things together and it’s a powder keg waiting to go off. But come on, how bad are you hurting for content when you cancel on the brain worm guy and the gun nuts? And Harris is the lazy one? What the actual fuck! That’s his base!

Former President Donald Trump abruptly cancelled an appearance at an NRA event in Savannah, Georgia, fueling public concerns about his mental state.

Trump was slated to headline the “Defend the 2nd” rally on Oct. 22. The Trump campaign cited a scheduling conflict in pulling out of that event, per the Atlanta Journal-Constitution. The gun advocacy group later scrapped the entire event.

The cancellation follows an appearance at the Economic Club of Chicago on Tuesday, in which interviewer John Micklethwait repeatedly pressed Trump on his rambling non-answers and topic changes. A day before that appearance, Trump similarly confused an audience at a Pennsylvania town hall when he paused questions for over half an hour to sway along to his playlist on stage.

Trump has been on a cancellation tear, pulling out of several planned interviews in recent days.

Per CNN’s Brian Stelter, Trump reportedly “suddenly scrapped” a planned interview with NBC News senior business correspondent Christine Romans penciled in for Monday morning in Philadelphia. He had previously cancelled a stop by CNBC’s “Squawk Box,” citing another purported scheduling conflict.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/not-able-run-two-weeks-192930945.html





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[font size="8"]Trans Athletes Banned
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Normally, something like this would be reserved for our segment Conspiracy Corner, which takes a look at what happens on the dark corners of the internet, like Infowars and RSBN. But we kind of need to talk about it in a more serious light. You may have seen a lot of headlines pop up lately about an online conspiracy that originated on shows like Infowars and Tucker Carlson about trans athletes participating in sports. Yes, it was a big controversy in 2020. But should trans women or trans men be barred from participating in the sports where the genders are different from the ones that they were assigned at birth? Well, the controversy reared its’ ugly head during the Olympics this year when a wrestling match was cut short and boxer Imane Khelif was investigated profusely for being perceived as transgender by internet conspiracy theorists, and it was proven to be not true in the slightest. But we do need to have a serious discussion – how did this get to be such a hot button issue when it wasn’t not even 10 years ago? And also how is it having so much sway on how people vote for a particular candidate? Well it recently reared its’ ugly head in the news again thanks to former NASCAR driver and current Mar-A-Shithole drink server Danica Patrick.

A 2023 Gallup poll found that 93% of Republican respondents believe transgender athletes should only be allowed to compete on teams that match their birth gender, compared to 6% who said they should be allowed to compete on teams that match their current identity.

Meanwhile, 48% of Democrat respondents said transgender athletes should only play on teams that match their birth gender and 47% said they should play on teams that match their current identity.

In a town hall that is set to air on Fox News, former President Donald Trump said he would ban or stop transgender women from playing girls sports.

As for Vice President Kamala Harris, the group Advocates for Trans Equality has endorsed her, saying she has shown an unwavering commitment to advancing the well-being of the transgender community.
https://san.com/cc/transgender-athletes-in-sports-a-sleeper-issue-this-election-wsj/




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!! Come on. This shit is getting ridiculous. And it’s insane that people believe this conspiracy theory bullshit over, you know, facts. And logic. Your odds of encountering an actual trans athlete are like 1/10th of 1%. And the right wing is so hysterical over the trans hatred and conspiracy theories online that they’re unable to separate fact from fiction. But what’s extremely horrible is that if you pay attention to the advertisements this election cycle – nearly every single GOP ad just *HAS* to attack trans athletes in some way. Even though most people who aren’t dialed into the conspiracy theory sphere wouldn’t give a shit about this issue.

Voters consistently say issues like the economy and reproductive rights are their top concerns in this election. But in the closing weeks of the campaign, Republican ads focusing on transgender rights are dominating airwaves all over the country.

Consider the ad below from former President Donald Trump. If you've seen a Trump campaign ad lately, there's a good chance it's this one:

The Trump campaign has recently dropped at least $17 million on ads highlighting Vice President Harris' support during her 2019 presidential campaign for access to gender-affirming medical treatment for transgender people.

It's part of a broader Republican strategy casting the Democratic Party as taking transgender rights to extremes.

According to data compiled by AdImpact for NPR, these ads have aired more than 30,000 times, including in the key swing states of Arizona, Georgia, Michigan, Nevada, North Carolina, Pennsylvania and Wisconsin. The campaign has placed a particular focus on NFL and college football broadcast audiences.
https://www.npr.org/2024/10/19/g-s1-28932/donald-trump-transgender-ads-kamala-harris




Oh what the actual fuck. You know there’s just no arguing with people who believe the conspiracy theory bullshit. My advice is to just boo and heckle and ridicule them out of existence. After all, they worship a guy who got famous as a social media troll. The only way to fight the trolls is to troll back and troll back harder. But it’s truly insane and horrifying that a convicted criminal who has a very real chance of becoming president again is using the online hate to his advantage. In fact, look at New York, where the democrats proposed an anti-abortion bill, so conservatives in New York countered with a bill to ban trans athletes. Just…. AH!!!! Stop it already!!!

Democrats pushed to get a constitutional amendment on New York’s ballot because they believed it could energize liberals eager to protect abortion rights. Republicans are now hoping the same amendment will ignite a fire under people upset about transgender athletes participating in girls’ and women’s sports.

Voters will decide Nov. 5 whether to approve the state’s proposed “Equal Rights Amendment,” which has already been the subject of a court fight over its broad language. The amendment, called “Proposition 1” on the ballot, has emerged as one of the more unusual ideological battles of the 2024 election season, partly because of disagreements about what it will do if passed.

On paper, the proposed amendment would expand a section of the state constitution that now says a person can’t be denied civil rights because of their race, creed or religion. The new language will also ban discrimination based on national origin, age, disability, sexual orientation, gender identity, gender expression, pregnancy, pregnancy outcomes or “reproductive healthcare and autonomy.”
https://apnews.com/article/new-york-sex-gender-discrimination-constitution-lgbtq-a0c6080761df2e341cd7a4be7ce5e761




Sigh… this is going to be a long two weeks until election day, isn’t it? But of course, it’s no secret that Trump plans to go full Nazi if he’s given a second term. In fact they’ve already got anti-trans laws ready to go if he somehow gets elected again. And this is why elections matter, and why voting against your best interests is NO FUCKING JOKE. Because if you vote against your best interests, you will get people who you won’t like in power and you will not be able to get rid of them no matter how hard you try. It is insanity that someone this monstrous could assume power again. We have to stop this man at all costs, because it can and will get ugly.

During a taped town hall of only female voters in Cumming, Ga., with Fox News’s Harris Faulkner, Trump was asked by an audience member how he would handle “the transgender issue” in women’s sports as president.

“It’s such an easy question, and everybody in the room, and you know that answer,” Trump said during Tuesday’s town hall on The Faulkner Focus. “We’re not going to let it happen.”

Trump in his response referenced a viral video of a transgender college volleyball player in California spiking a ball at her opponent. The player was hit with the ball in the shoulder and was unharmed, and the transgender athlete’s team ultimately lost the match in straight sets.

“I never saw a ball hit so hard,” Trump said, referring to the video. His administration, he said, will “absolutely stop” schools from allowing transgender athletes to play on sports teams that match their gender identity.
https://thehill.com/homenews/campaign/4936727-trump-bans-transgender-athletes/





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[font size="8"]The Betting Markets
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A few weeks ago, we brought you the tale of how the crypto dude bros are planning to use their fake money to influence the election (see: Idiots #17-2 ). Well, of course Trump is attempting to win over the crypto dude bro vote by launching his own line of cryptocurrency. Come on, really? There’s nothing he won’t put his name or face on at this point, and it’s kind of sad. But this week, another new group that’s looking to use electronic fake money to influence the election not seen before in previous elections has emerged – the betting markets. Yes, betting markets. Combining the worst of Las Vegas with the worst of Wall St. into one disgusting, money-losing package. And yes, if you’re wondering, they are going to use their ill gotten gains to try and sway the election towards Trump. Come on, remember when hackers used to use their powers for good instead of evil? Well if you think that the crypto dude bros are certifiably insane, you haven’t seen anything yet!

The betting odds of former President Donald Trump winning next month’s election rose to their highest level since President Joe Biden ceded way to Vice President Kamala Harris in July, though the increasingly popular election betting platform Polymarket reportedly is investigating the source of the massive wagers driving the odds shift amid scrutiny into the eight-figure bets on Trump.

The crypto-based Polymarket gives Trump a 66% chance of prevailing over Harris, the first time his odds have risen over 65% since July 21, the day Biden dropped his reelection bid.

Competitor sites which also take wagers on the election outcome are heavily in Trump’s corner, albeit less starkly than Polymarket, as Kalshi and PredictIt price in roughly 60% and 57% market-implied odds for Trump, respectively.

It’s the latest trend in betting markets toward Trump, as Kalshi favored Harris as recently as Oct. 9, PredictIt as recently as Oct. 8 and Polymarket as recently as Oct. 4.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/dereksaul/2024/10/22/trumps-polymarket-election-odds-top-65--as-site-investigates-big-bets/




OK let me get this straight – you’re using unproven technology and fake money to stack the odds of the election in favor of the guy who wants to destroy democracy. Whatever school you graduated from, you obviously failed the civics part of it. Because I’m going to explain something to the MAGA dude bros out there. Markets don’t vote. Odds don’t vote. Land doesn’t vote. And most importantly, the people vote, and you only get one shot at it. And something else you have to realize – population densities. Yes, well over half the country lives in those blue areas Fox News likes to pretend don’t exist. Also too, let me give you a little lesson in Gambling 101 – NEVER, EVER bet against the house. Because the house always wins, and this is kind of the real world equivalent of doing that.

Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump has stretched his betting lead over Democratic rival Kamala Harris as the 2024 White House race enters its home stretch.

Trump's lead comes after a slew of cancelled media interviews and a Univision town hall where he again embraced the Jan. 6 insurrection, calling it a "day of love," and repeating falsehoods about migrants in Springfield, Ohio that led to violent threats.

Democrats have been raising questions about Trump's age and behavior during his rallies, including at a town hall in Oaks, Pennsylvania, that was interrupted by medical emergencies in the audience. On Saturday, Trump fixated on the male anatomy of late golf legend Arnold Palmer during a speech in western Pennsylvania.

The Harris campaign has said Trump is too old and unstable to hold office, echoing the calls that eventually led President Joe Biden to drop out of the race.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/news/politics/elections/2024/10/21/presidential-betting-odds-oct-21/75769301007/




Well, duh! Thank you Cartman! So how do you explain the betting markets to someone who doesn’t quite understand them? Well, as we’ve already seen, they’re run by some incredibly shady characters who shouldn’t be trusted. Remember when Martin Shkreli rigged the pharmaceutical markets so he could profit off $35 vials of insulin by 10,000%? Guess what – not only is that an example of shady characters doing shady things, that’s also betting against the house. And Shkreli bet against the house and was living large, but he ultimately failed at doing that and got busted. We can’t say the same thing will happen to the betting market bros, but we do believe that is coming, and the SEC and FEC will come for them for election interference should Kamala win.

It seems that there might have been more stories written about the prediction markets than people who actually use them – as we were shocked by how few traders actually bet on these platforms, and the thin trading volume and liquidity which make it extremely difficult to make bets to begin with.

On some platforms, we tried to make bets on several key battleground races – only to find out we couldn’t, because there were zero sellers in those markets. In other markets, the spread – meaning the difference between the bid price and the ask price – was so massive, running upwards of 50%, that it was substantive impossible to buy or sell. (some screenshots of examples are linked). All this means that the so-called price cited by media accounts is merely a phantom figure and not representative of reality, since nobody can buy or sell in these markets in practice. On other platforms, even the largest market– the presidential election odds – feature extremely low volume, generally in the tens of thousands of dollars a day but sometimes hovering in the lower hundreds of thousand of dollars a day, to the point where a single small bet of a few thousand dollars can immediately move the market by several percentage points in real time. It can be substantively impossible for anyone to bet more than a few thousand dollars without immediately moving the markets – which might explain why the betting odds are often so disparate across different prediction market sites, and don’t even move in alignment with each other much less with polling results.
https://time.com/7095708/financial-scam-political-prediction-election/




Yes, my friends, as we have seen, just like a lot of things on the internet, and a lot of bad things on the internet, especially since 2016, if it sounds too good to be true, it probably is. Also, as we’ve seen, if it favors Donald Trump, it’s most likely bullshit. And the betting markets, are guess what – complete and total bullshit. We totally expect a lot of these guys will get nailed by the SEC in the next few months after the election is finally over. You know also, there’s really no way to make elections fun. Yes, they’re tedious, and yes they can be boring at times. But combining electoral polls with the excitement of gambling is a surefire way to lose money. Even Trump knows a thing or two about bankrupting casinos, he bankrupted 4 of them! But this could make for a very interesting SCOTUS case down the road. In the mean time, don’t bet against the house.

People can’t get enough of betting on the 2024 presidential election, and thanks to a recent legal ruling, it’s easier than ever for Americans to vote with their wallet.

On Polymarket, one of the top online exchanges, people have already spent over $1.2 bn betting on the US presidential election. That includes two mystery individuals betting millions on a Trump win.

Betting market odds are suddenly on the lips of US broadcasters and campaign spin doctors, quoted like polls and watched like the weather.

Betting on elections has long been prohibited in the US, but various exchanges and their users have found ways to get in on the action nonetheless.

A federal appeals court ruled earlier on October 2 that prediction market Kalshi could offer contracts on US elections for the time being, leading to more than $3m in political contracts within the first week. Federal regulators at the Commodity Futures Trading Commission, which concluded last year such contracts run afoul of commodities law, argue this activity still amounts to illegal gaming or gambling, and are seeking further appeals hearings as soon as December.
https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/election-betting-odds-trump-harris-polymarket-b2632964.html


https://thegamblingcommunity.com/forum/uploads/monthly_2021_01/668223988_giphy(7).gif.b125bc87475b5c0b7527f6d295339992.gif


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[font size="8"]Cyberstruck

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Oh man, I was just getting into that song! Yes, there are some men who just want to watch the world burn, and one of those men is Tesla CEO Elon Musk. Welcome to our segment detailing the plight of the world’s most ridiculous monstrosity on 4 wheels not seen since the DMC DeLorean – the Tesla Cybertruck! You may have heard that Elon Musk, you know him best as the CEO of Tesla, Space X, X, the Boring Company, Starlink, and about a hundred other joints, desperately wants to expand the Tesla brand into non-consumer markets. Most specifically, law enforcement. Yes, since Elon has attached himself to the most pro police candidate who’s ever policed, despite the fact that he’s a convicted felon still on trial, he’s selling his cars to law enforcement. But actual police officers, on the other hand, aren’t having any of it. And the reviews are in! Tesla’s law-enforcement specific variants of the Model 3 and Model Y have been called everything from “extremely terrible” to “completely unsuable”. Which, since it's Elon Musk, yeah, we’re not shocked at all that this seems totally on brand for him.

At a rally this past April in Michigan, surrounded by a cadre of law-enforcement officials, Donald Trump suddenly began railing against electric cars. President Joe Biden’s decision to support EVs, he decried, “is one of the dumbest I’ve ever heard.” Minutes later, he was back to praising the sheriffs behind him: “We have to get law and order back. These are the best people in the world,” he said to a smattering of applause.

Support for law enforcement and skepticism of electric cars both abound on the right. Police officers are more likely to identify as Republican than the communities they serve, and their unions widely endorsed Trump in 2020. Meanwhile, the Americans buying electric cars tend to be Democratic. And yet, more and more law-enforcement officers seem to be taken by EVs. When they “get into and experience the [electric] cars firsthand themselves,” Tony Abdalla, a sergeant with the South Pasadena Police Department, told me, “they’re like, Okay, I think I get it now.”

Last month, South Pasadena’s police department became the first in the country with a fully electric police fleet, replacing all of its gas-powered vehicles with 20 Teslas. Four officers, after test-driving Teslas for the department, have already bought one for personal use, Abdalla, who leads his department’s EV-conversion project, told me. South Pasadena is one among a growing number of law-enforcement agencies that are electrifying their fleets.
https://www.theatlantic.com/technology/archive/2024/08/police-officers-are-falling-love-evs/679471/




Good question! And it doesn’t make even more sense when you realize that his BFF is the one who is making a killing in the EV industry! And not only that, it’s like he intentionally tries to take the wrong answer on literally every issue. Like you could ask Trump “What’s 2 + 2?” and he’d answer “the answer is penguins! Prove me wrong! Prove me wrong!”. But while it may seem great to have a police department be entirely gas free, is the Tesla Model Y really up for duty? The answer, which you may be not at all surprised at – is a big fat no. In fact, most actual police departments are chucking the Model Y in favor of something that can keep up with their demands. After all, how are you going to catch crooks when you spend all of your time charging your car?

Electric vehicles are great at many things, but police work might not be one of them. The Menlo Park police department in California has been testing three Tesla Model Ys, and its takeaways from the trial run show that it might be some time before EVs catch on with mainstream law enforcement agencies.

Menlo Park PD said the Model Y was “nearly unusable” for police work because their interiors aren’t accommodating for officers wearing bulletproof vests and duty belts. That said, they did enjoy some of the vehicle’s driving dynamics.

The department’s report read, “Officers using the vehicles appreciated the acceleration, steering, and vehicle speed compared to the hybrids and remaining gasoline-only patrol vehicles. However, the Teslas presented challenges due to the small interior space, ‘smart car’ features, and low vehicle profile limiting maneuverability.”

Teslas “do not appear to be ‘the patrol cars of the future’ in their current configuration,” according to the report’s conclusion. Officers also cited difficulties charging, and the department would need to invest heavily to upfit any EV for police duty, making the tried-and-true gas-powered workhorses more attractive.
https://www.thetruthaboutcars.com/cars/news-blog/ca-police-department-tesla-model-y-not-ready-for-patrol-duty-44509846




Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!!! Great movie. Pretty sure Jake and Elwood wouldn’t get very far in a Cybertruck if the movie were to take place in 2024. And yes, Elon, we get it! You hate California! You really hate us, so stop it please! But of course, while this segment isn’t really about the Tesla brand, it is about their most ridiculously over-hyped and overrated product to date – the Cybertruck. Does the Cybertruck have applications in law enforcement other than being a prop vehicle in a Demolition Man sequel? Well, the answer of course is, it varies depending what your sources are. Because once again, since Elon hates California so much, the city of Irvine, which is right next door to our home offices in Santa Ana, gets to be the test bed for Cybertruck cop cars!

A police department in Southern California says it has the country’s first Tesla Cybertruck for police use, but the unusual vehicle won’t see much action.

The Irvine Police Department unveiled the purchase Tuesday in a splashy video on social media, including Facebook and X. The price tag: $153,175.03, including the installation of emergency equipment.

The police department said its Cybertruck would have a limited role: jazzing up anti-drug events at schools through the Drug Abuse Resistance Education (D.A.R.E.) program.

"For over three decades, our DARE officers have driven attention-grabbing and one-of-a-kind vehicles that never fail to turn heads and excite students,” the department said on Facebook.
https://www.nbcnews.com/tech/tech-news/cybertruck-california-police-department-rcna174599




Yes, move along! Nothing to see here! The Irvine PD just wasted $153K of your taxpayer money for a vehicle that will only be used if you win the Showcase Showdown! Actually, it might scare some pre-teens off of drug use. But that’s about it. But anyway, could South Pasadena’s all electric fleet serve as a model for law enforcement agencies nationwide? Well, maybe if they chose a more competent electric vehicle manufacturer, one could make that case. And come on, doesn’t the Hummer EV look so much cooler as a law enforcement vehicle? And unlike the Cybertruck, it actually works and can hold a lot of stuff, and maybe even a prisoner or two. But anyway, Elon’s definitely selling some snake oil and it’s not going to get better any time soon. But hey… at least you got Cyberstruck!

Some police departments in Southern California are already using Tesla Model Y electric vehicles as patrol cars. Now, Cybertrucks could be next, according to UP.FIT, a Hawthorne-based company that outfits police departments.

“I can confirm that we have several departments in California, specifically Southern California, that have expressed interest in ordering our new UP.FIT Next-Gen Patrol Cybertruck,” Fleet Director James Hedland told KTLA.

That’s all the company can say – for now. Hedland couldn’t reveal which departments have ordered Cybertrucks, due to contracts they have with their clients.

Recently, the company helped Anaheim’s police department by modifying a fleet of Tesla Y patrol cars as part of a pilot program.
https://ktla.com/news/local-news/cybertrucks-could-be-coming-to-your-local-police-department/





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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! Please be seated! You know, in the last six years since we’ve been doing this program, we’ve often wondered what the ultimate end game of those who worship the Unholy Dark One was going to be. It certainly wasn’t the end of Roe V Wade, and we all know how the Dark One’s unholy and obscenely corrupt minions that he installed on the highest of courts decided to overturn Roe V Wade purely out of spite because their god king wasn’t the grand exhalted leader of the world, and we know they aren’t going to stop there. Because of course, they don’t worship GAWD or JAYSUS. They instead worship the unholy, ungodly Dark One! I of course speak of a man who is so foul, so depraved and disgusting that his name dare NOT be spoken in my church! The idea of a total abortion ban is absolutely disgusting and I’m really surprised that it’s not a total deal breaker for some. But then again, for the most hardcore supporters of the unholy Dark One, there is nothing that’s going too far, there’s no line that they won’t cross. No subject is off limits for them. But could it happen in our lifetime? It’s possible. But then again we thought the malicious overturning of Roe V Wade couldn’t happen in our lifetimes, either. So yes we need to keep voting blue, everybody!

Just weeks before what religious-right figures have insisted is the most important election in our lifetimes, if not the nation’s history, Donald Trump and a parade of Republican leaders could normally have been expected to show up at the Pray Vote Stand activist conference—formerly known as the Values Voter Summit—to revel in the adoration of the Family Research Council faithful and fire up the activists for the work ahead.

But not this year. While the conference opened last Friday with a prayer asking God to raise up Christians to vote and “take dominion over this earth exactly the way you intended it,” the triumphalist spirit was in short supply at a diminished and relatively downbeat conference.

Family Research Council leaders had a problem.

On the one hand, religious-right groups are spending tens of millions of dollars to elect Trump in hopes of getting four years of Christian nationalist policymaking and hundreds of MAGA-minded judicial nominees who could serve for decades.
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/religious-right-wrestles-trump-disavowing-their-goal-national-abortion-ban




Yes, it may seem like things are grim right now and with the Fox News approved SCOTUS, things aren’t getting better any time soon, and we may be in it for the long haul. But fare not, there is an election in two weeks and we can change the outcome from those who look to destroy this country from within, which is what they have been doing! But then again, when your supporters support the unholy Dark One and everything terrible that he stands for, it seems like all bets are off the table. Again, there’s no telling how far they will go! And of course, like most terrible things happening in this country, every time evil laws are passed, there’s always some Christian group bragging about it behind the scenes! Of course, leave it to the unholy Dark One himself and his minion Joel Webbon to lead the charge!

Webbon, who has a history of making controversial comments regarding the issues of race and religion, said that he has become a one issue voter in the upcoming presidential election, and that issue is which candidate will "deport millions of illegal immigrants." The reason Webbon has settled upon this as his primary issue is because, he claims, this nation belongs to "us and our posterity" and not a bunch of non-white foreigners.

"It comes down to natural affections, natural loves," Webbon said. "And these are categories that Christians have always had for a very, very long time, but we lost them over the last century. We lost them and we started to feel guilty for certain things that the Bible doesn't actually condemn. We were blessed by God, these United States, with much prosperity, much success, much strength and victory and instead of offering to the Lord as a response for all his blessing, offering him gratitude, instead, we chose to respond with guilt."

"And so, out of guilt for all the blessing that he gave us, we decided that we should just give all the blessing away," he continued. "And instead of it belonging to us and our posterity—that is, our children—we decided to give it to strangers. We have spit on the graves of our fathers. We've broken the Fifth Commandment. Read the Founders in their writings. They bled out and died and sacrificed. They didn't do it for India. That doesn't mean they hated India, but they did it for us and our posterity. And for you, the children of your fathers who died for you as their children, to say, 'Dad died for me and the kids, and we're going to take it and give it to strangers,' that is dishonoring dad! That is a breaking of the Fifth Commandment, and you have to be able to talk about that without being called a racist."
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/america-belongs-us-and-our-posterity-says-white-christian-nationalist-pastor-joel




Well, tell me you know nothing about religion and the Constitution and the Bible, without telling me you know nothing about the Constitution and the Bible. Yeah that’s what it feels like with this crowd! It’s truly insane that the American Christian church has lost its’ way since the rise of Rush Limbaugh and Jimmy Swaggart. Now they’re banking on the Dark One and his disgusting overturning of Roe V Wade, despite that the three justices he appointed deliberately and maliciously lied under oath through their teeth saying they wouldn’t. But when people are making completely outrageous claims like this is what our founding fathers would have wanted, they are clearly talking straight out of their ass, and there’s no reasoning with people like that! And Harris would never say that she hates Catholics. When did this conversation start? Just ugh… it’s getting harder to keep up with their BS, my fair congregation!

Former President Donald Trump is promoting a right-wing political group that supports a total abortion ban after the group’s leader Brian Burch dishonestly smeared Vice President Kamala Harris on Fox News as he promoted the group’s new swing-state ad attacking Harris. In contrast, Catholic Vote praised Trump’s selection of J.D. Vance as a “historic moment” and called Vance a “hero.”

Burch claimed on Fox that Harris has “an unmistakable record of deep hostility and hatred for Catholics and what Catholics believe,” a charge he repeated in an email Monday. Responding to Trump cheering on Catholic Vote on social media, the group tweeted, “We’re proud to expose Kamala’s vile hatred of Catholics.”

Burch is lying, of course. Harris serves as vice president to the second Catholic U.S. president. Burch tends to demean the faith of Catholics who disagree with the group’s political positions by producing "dossiers" on them or using square quotes when identifying them as "Catholic." Back when Barack Obama chose Biden as his running mate, Burch called the selection of a pro-choice Catholic “a slap in the face to Catholic voters.”
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/post/trump-promotes-abortion-ban-group-that-claims-vp-harris-hates-catholics




But of course, my fair congregation, make no mistake that the primary goal of the anti-abortion movement is to end it entirely. Do not pass Go, do not collect $200. Also, make no mistake that the anti-abortion movement is really a white supremacist movement but with a different label. They made that pretty clear with Project 2025. And no, Pastor Webbon, the United States Of America doesn’t just belong to you. That’s a terrible statement to make. It belongs to all of us. Yes, even the brainwashed cultists too. And when supposed faith leaders keep selling themselves out for the unholy Dark One, you can bet it’s a sure reason why we can’t have nice things in this country and that there’s a black cloud currently hovering over it.

Earlier this year, far-right conspiracy theorist and self-proclaimed "alpha toxic male" Clay Clark announced that he was working to place a "prophet" in Donald Trump's cabinet if the former president returns to the White House. Clark is positioned to potentially do this because he has forged close ties to Trump's son, Eric, through the "ReAwaken America" tour Clark had been parading around the nation for the last several years.

Launched in 2021 as a "Reopen America" event in Oklahoma that was designed to protest restrictions put in place during the COVID-19 pandemic, the event was such a success that Clark quickly rechristened it "ReAwaken America" and launched a nationwide tour, holding similar events all over the country.

Convinced that a vague 2013 prophecy from the late “prophet” Kim Clement about “a man by the name of Mr. Clark and … another man by the name of Donald” was a prophecy about himself and Donald Trump, Clark's events quickly became a nonstop cavalcade of outlandish conspiracy theories and explicitly violent rhetoric mixed with aggressive Christian nationalism.
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/conspiracy-theorist-clay-clark-organizing-faith-leaders-event-trump




Well believe me, my fair congregation, we will certainly be keeping an eye on this development as it is happening. It’s the shit show that never ends! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this week for:




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[font size="8"]This Fucking Guy: Jack Hibbs
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This week’s This Fucking Guy is Jack Hibbs. You may have heard his name before if you follow the TPUSA verse, or as I like to call them the Toilet Paper Verse. He’s the pastor of Cavalry Church in Chino Hills, of which there’s about a billion Cavalry Churches to choose from. But if your church employs a pastor like this, two things we would suggest. The first is to know what their church’s after hours activities are, and the second is you should probably find a new church. Because this guy has his lips planted firmly on Donald Trump’s ass, and it will probably take a crowbar to pry them off. Which is why we say that any church who tells you who to vote for should immediately lose its’ tax exempt status. This guy is certifiably nuts, and he’s definitely far from the Christian that he claims to be. He’s a Trump worshipper and his MAGA cult credentials are strong. In fact if you ever listen to his podcast for more than a few minutes without wanting to smash your phone into pieces, you’ll definitely pick up a few insane tidbits about the MAGAgelical lifestyle. Like this for instance.

California megachurch pastor Jack Hibbs, a close ally of right-wing Christian nationalist political operatives David Lane and Charlie Kirk, declared on his podcast last week that people who vote for Democrats cannot be Christians. Hibbs’ influence stretches beyond his congregation through his political alliances and online followers; his YouTube channel has 659,000 subscribers. Earlier this year, House Speaker Mike Johnson invited Hibbs to give a prayer to the House of Representatives.

From an edition of his “Real Life with Jack Hibbs” podcast posted Aug 1:

Democrats, sorry. Look, I gotta tell you man, I’m gonna say it again, you cannot be a Democrat and be a believer in Jesus Christ. You can lie to yourself all you want. Jesus Christ is not an abortionist. Jesus Christ does not attack borders and say they don’t matter. The God of the Bible established borders, he says so. The God of the Bible is pro-life, he says so. So, if you’re a Democrat, and you say you’re a Christian, that means you vote Democrat, which means you vote against the Bible. Actions speak louder than words. So, I have no interest in you.

In reality, of course, millions of Christians regularly vote for Democratic candidates, which apparently rankles Hibbs almost as much as conservative evangelicals who vote, something he has been complaining about for years. On last week’s podcast he railed against conservative Christians in California who don’t vote, saying “I have so much more respect for Democrats who go out and vote in huge numbers for their sick, perverse ideology, their godless platform.” Hibbs has previously referred to the Democratic Party as a “death cult.”
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/post/jack-hibbs-claims-democrats-cant-be-christians




Yeah BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! Oh come right the fuck on. We’re the death cult? Have you been following MAGA lately? We’re at the point where if Trump instructed his minions to jump off the Grand Canyon, they’d be pushing and shoving to be the first in line. But in case you’re wondering if the line between church and cult is getting weirder and nuttier, look no further than Jack Hibbs and what he said about the Trump “assassination attempt”. Oh come on, if there ever were a reason why churches should be taxed the ever-loving shit out of, look no further than this. And also, if you don’t doubt the Trump “assassination attempt” was staged, they literally had t-shirts made the next day with that stupid picture on them! I mean come on, it’s truly insane what they are saying and getting away with.

Jack Hibbs, a far-right anti-LGBTQ pastor, conspiracy theorist, and Christian nationalist, delivered a special sermon Sunday in response to the failed assassination attempt on former President Donald Trump the day before.

Clad in a "colonial preachers robe" meant to the emulate the apocryphal "Black Robe Regiment" that supposedly rallied the colonists to rebel against England during the American revolution, Hibbs said he only breaks out the garb in "times of tyranny."

We are in just such a time right now, said Hibbs, prompting him to deliver a rather strange sermon in which he referenced a passage from the book of Leviticus instructing priests to anoint the toe, thumb, and right ear of those making a guilt offering with blood, which Hibbs tied to the injury Trump received from the shooting.

"God said all those who represent me in the priesthood, there's to be a sacrificial basin of blood," Hibbs said. "And I want the toe of the priest to be dipped in the blood—the big toe, the right toe—dipped in blood. I want the priest's thumb dipped in blood because his feet and his decision making is covered in my blood. And then take the blood from the basin and put it on your right ear."
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/post/pastor-jack-hibbs-assassination-attempt-was-a-warning-by-almighty-god-that-trump-must-bow-the-knee-to-jesus




Yeah come on! That is totally, criminally insane. Like straight jacket and padded cell insane. And these are the guys who say that “GOD WILL NOT BE MOCKED!!” while they literally mock god by saying stupid shit like this. And if you think mocking god is a problem, wait until you see our sister program Holy Shit: The Sunday Sermons! But hey, we don’t mock god. We mock the “god will not be mocked” people, so that’s mocking inception! Mock-ception? But anyway, Jack Hibbs first gained prominence last year when he admitted that he was the one responsible for flipping the Chino Hills school board to batshit crazy MAGA loons last year. And well, you should never question Christian nationalists, oh no! What will independent thinkers do now?

Jack Hibbs is a far-right anti-LGBTQ pastor, conspiracy theorist, and Christian nationalist who was invited by House Speaker Mike Johnson to deliver a prayer to the House of Representatives last month. That decision understandably did not sit well with several House members who denounced Hibbs' views and questioned why he had been invited to speak in the first place.

Last week, Hibbs appeared on "The Line Up" program to discuss the controversy, where he declared that those who criticize or oppose Christian nationalism are a "systemic cancer" in this nation and are carrying out the agenda of "the Third Reich under Hitler."

"The people that are labeling us as Christian nationalists are the ones who are for the destruction of the gender of a child's biological birth," Hibbs said. "They're anti-family. They're pro-LBGTQ. They are anti-borders."

"They all have this also in common," he continued. "They always mention democracy; they will never mention constitutional republic. They are for everyone's rights and freedoms except those who they disagree with. These are literal cancers in a culture. These people are systematic—can I use their word?—systemic cancers."
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/post/jack-hibbs-says-critics-of-christian-nationalism-are-literal-cancers




Uh oh… independent thought! Cults don’t like that! Yeah it’s like how can they say in one breath that “god will not be mocked” and then in the next minute, they think Trump is Jesus and that democratic thought is a “cancer”? Shit that’s going pure Nazi! And Systematic Cancer, by the way, awesome punk band. I saw them at the Troubadour last week. And if you think we haven’t reached the pinnacle of Mr. Hibbs’ insanity, wait until you see what he said about the recent hurricanes that wreaked havoc on the Gulf Coast. Yes, he actually went there, and yes, he is that crazy. But again, they worship a guy who stared at an eclipse and used a sharpie to draw the path of a hurricane. Also that you don’t have rights if you speak up against the Murdoch cult.

Jack Hibbs, a far-right anti-LGBTQ pastor, conspiracy theorist, and Christian nationalist, posted a video on his YouTube channel earlier this week in which he lashed out at the protests that have sprung up on college campuses around the country in opposition to the ongoing war in Gaza.

Hibbs, an ardent Christian Zionist whose own support for Israel is riddled with antisemitism, declared that these campus activists have no First Amendment right to protest because, by virtue of protesting, they are proving that they are not even real Americans.

"This morning, I turned on the news and I watched the idiocy of the news media—from channel to channel to channel covering Columbia University and NYU—say the same thing: 'You know, they're just expressing their First Amendment rights. This is the First Amendment in action,'" Hibbs sneered. "Those are the words of fools. Fools!"

"We've got people who I believe have forfeited their rights to the First Amendment," Hibbs declared. "They don't have the First Amendment [right] to do what they're doing on over 220 university campuses."
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/post/jack-hibbs-says-campus-protesters-have-no-constitutional-rights




That’s Chino Hills MAGA pastor Jack Hibbs. This week’s:




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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! Of course conspiracies exist when people simply don’t want to read the article past the headlines and just flat out make shit up. We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter from deep within the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location, of course! Let me just adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! They are trying to read yours and my thoughts, after all! This week, we’re going to talk about Texas. The Lone Star State. Yes, the polls are showing Texas trending increasingly purple, when it was once a hard red state. And the GOP doesn’t want to admit that there’s a very real possibility that Texas could flip for Kamala Harris. But the two guys at the helm of the Lone Star State – governor Greg Abbott and Attorney General Ken Paxton – are hatching a scheme to keep their jobs, as well as make sure that their employers - Fox News – and their hard right wing stranglehold on that state remains pure. Abbott and Paxton both have decreasing approval ratings, and like fellow Fox News employee Ted Cruz, are not very well liked. Well, remember when Arizona was at the center of a bizarre auditing plot in the 2020 election (see: Idiots #10-12 ). Well, the 2024 Texas election scam, er, scheme, looks to make the Cyber Ninjas look like Cyber MMA trainees. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! Well here’s more.

Fox News anchor Maria Bartiromo is perhaps best known for spreading the baseless claim on air that Dominion Voting Systems rigged the 2020 presidential election. Her source for that “information” was a viewer who also claimed to be “internally decapitated” and said she spoke with the wind. Along with similar misinformation, this false claim landed Fox in court for defamation, and the company agreed to pay an unprecedented $787 million settlement to Dominion.

But last month, Bartiromo returned to reporting baseless hearsay again, this time to cast doubt on the upcoming election. On August 18, she claimed on social media that the wife of a friend of a friend went to a DMV in Weatherford, Texas, and saw a “massive line of immigrants getting licenses” and a “tent and table outside the front door of the DMV registering them to vote!” Apparently the “same Dems” were registering immigrants to vote outside other DMVs in the area as well. Without explanation or evidence, the post insinuated that something nefarious must be going on because the people at the DMV appeared to be “immigrants.”

Law enforcement and even the local Republican Party completely debunked Bartiromo’s rumor. A spokesman for the Texas Department of Public Safety, which issues drivers’ licenses in the state, pointed out that assuming people are undocumented immigrants based on solely on their appearance is “kind of racist.”
https://truthout.org/articles/in-texas-racist-conspiracy-theories-fuel-suppression-of-latino-voters/




Uh… kind of racist? You know what we say around here is that if you have to ask, it’s probably racist! I mean… sigh. This is why we can’t have nice things in this country, like functioning elections. And come on, the election is two weeks away and we have to get our shit together! Because everyone knows that if the election is even remotely close, you know damn well that Fox News and the Heritage Foundation are going to make a plan to steal it, and we cannot let that happen under any circumstances, because it’s the end of democracy if that happens! But what the election rah rah poll watching people need to realize – it’s not election integrity. It’s voter suppression. And that industry is currently booming right now as misinformation is running rampant.

Voting rights activists in Texas are accusing the state’s Republican leaders of limiting access to the ballot and cracking down on groups mobilizing and registering voters in the name of election integrity.

Texas Attorney General Ken Paxton, a Republican, authorized searches over the weekend on the homes of several members of one of the oldest Latino civil rights groups. And on Monday, Republican Gov. Gregg Abbott announced that 1 million people had been removed from the state’s voter rolls.

The officials say the moves were made to guard against the possibility of fraud at the polls, but activist groups insist they are the latest examples of a growing trend of voter suppression that’s been brewing in the state following President Joe Biden’s 2020 electoral victory.


And now with less than 70 days until the election, the groups are warning that voters will have an even harder time casting a ballot in November.
https://www.usnews.com/news/national-news/articles/2024-08-28/activists-fear-voter-suppression-as-texas-election-integrity-probe-hits-home




So here’s the thing – if you live in a heavily red state where the entire government is run by Fox News employees posing as politicians… yes, right wing politicians no longer work for the government, since they spend all of their free time on Fox News complaining about how hard it is to do their actual jobs… how do you know that your vote is counted if you vote against the Murdoch cabal? Well, that’s a very qood question and we don’t have an answer for that. But we do have to say that it will be extremely fun to watch all of the talking points we’ve been force fed about election security and integrity blow up in their faces on November 5th.

The League of United Latin American Citizens in Texas is calling for a federal investigation into an effort by state Attorney General Ken Paxton's office to ferret out illegal voter registration operations, which the civil rights group argues is meant to disenfranchise Latino voters via "police state tactics."

While Paxton's office has recently initiated a series of "undercover operations to identify potential voter registration of noncitizens in Texas," Gabriel Rosales, state director for Texas LULAC, said in a statement Friday that the office had gone too far by targeting the homes of older citizens and LULAC members in South Texas.

"I have been contacted by elderly residents who are confused and frightened, wondering why they have been singled out," Rosales said. "Attorney General Paxton's actions clearly aim to suppress the Latino vote through intimidation and any means necessary to tilt the electoral process in favor of his political allies."
https://www.statesman.com/story/news/politics/state/2024/08/23/ken-paxton-texas-attorney-general-voter-fraud-investigation-lulac-seeks-federal-probe/74923123007/




Yeah that’s the fucking irony of this whole thing. If you watch Fox News, and actually believe the bullshit they spew on a daily basis, you’d think the sky is falling. But if you actually read, turn off that poisonous network, and think for yourself, you’ll be like “Where is all of this shit happening?”. Because Fox News can scream bloody murder all they want that their precious man baby didn’t win in 2020, and that they won’t let it happen again. The reality is that your chances of finding an actual case of real voter fraud are like slim to nil. We’re talking like maybe 1 case out of 20,000. You have better odds of winning the Powerball and getting struck by lightning. But please, GOP, keep going there. It’s only going to hurt you in the long run.

Texans who may have been wrongly removed from the state's voter registration list or whose voter registrations have been suspended have little time to reverse course, Democratic state lawmakers and civil rights advocates warned Thursday, a few days after Republican leadership announced the purge of more than 1.1 million names from their voter rolls.

States are required by law to regularly update their voter registration lists to remove people who have died or moved or who are found ineligible to vote for other reasons. But Republican Gov. Greg Abbott touted the routine maintenance of the voter rolls in a series of election integrity bills he signed into laws in 2021.

"Texas’ strong election laws removed over 1 MILLION ineligible voters from our voter rolls," Abbott wrote Monday on X.

Numbers released by Abbott’s office show that more than 134,000 voters purged from state voter rolls since September 2021 had confirmed they had moved elsewhere and that 457,000 others had died.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/texas-voter-purge-warning-ballots-abbott-rcna168811





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[font size="8"]I Need A Drink
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Hey everyone! I don’t know about you, but I could really use a drink!



So of course, you know the idea behind this segment is that we have some drinks, and while we are drinking, we talk about literally anything in the news as long as it doesn’t relate to politics. Because, if you haven’t noticed, there’s a lot of really dark shit in the news right now. So we always feel that the best escape from reality is to belly up to the bar and have a few cold ones. Don’t worry, my sober brothers and sisters, we got you covered too! Just grab a glass of your favorite coffee, tea, or energy drink and come get wired with us! So the subject on the table this week – we have to go across the pond to our friends in the UK. Because a very uniquely British sport that you definitely wouldn’t have heard about called Conker is involved in what could be one of the most ridiculous “cheating” scandals that we’ve ever seen. So tell me, bartender, what goes well with a British cheating story? A very tall glass of British lager? Well, you know I like my beers large and in charge! Let’s go for it! So anyway, this might be one of the single most bizarre cheating stories we’ve ever seen, and it’s something that could only happen to our good friends in the UK. It’s definitely insane.

The winner of the World Conker Championships has been cleared of any wrongdoing after he was found with a steel nut in his pocket.

David Jakins, known as King Conker, won the annual title in Southwick, Northamptonshire, on 13 October for the first time after competing in the competition since 1977.

But when organisers searched his pockets after the runner-up raised suspicions over the way his conker shattered on impact during the final, Jakins, 82, was found to have a metal replica conker, prompting an investigation.

After the scandal generated more media interest than England’s men’s and women’s cricket teams combined, King Conker has been cleared by the organisers, who found no evidence the steel nut was used in the competition.
https://www.theguardian.com/sport/2024/oct/20/king-conker-cleared-of-cheating-at-world-conker-championships




Yeah so if you didn’t tell me anything about the sport and I heard the phrase “steel nut”, I would immediately assume you’re making some kind of joke about male genitalia. Because, yes, my mind really is that dirty, folks! Well, here’s where it gets weird, because you know it was going to! Not even one day after being cleared of any wrong doing, the guy who won the title, almost immediately had his title taken back. And the story greatly varies depending on what your sources are. But even Mr. Jakins himself, a guy who’s been an active competitor in the “sport” (term used loosely) since 1977 has claimed that he didn’t do anything wrong. And this is totally weird, and it gets even weirder. Yes, we did go down the Conker wormhole.

A man accused of using a conker made of steel to win a competition "achieved his title fairly", an investigation concluded.

David Jakins, 82, won the men's competition at the World Conker Championships at a tournament in Southwick, Northamptonshire, on 13 October.

His victory was plunged into controversy and he was surprised to find himself at the centre of national headlines when the Telegraph reported claims he cheated by swapping his real conker for a metal one.

Mr Jakins, a conker competitor since 1977, denied using a steel horse chestnut at any point in the tournament, and said he kept a steel conker on him for "humour value".

In a statement, the World Conker Championships said nothing "untoward" was seen by judges or umpires.
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/cp3w3151e4wo




OK, we got to admit that’s pretty funny. Yes, he definitely was making a statement about his “balls”, but apparently the judges didn’t exactly find it funny. So who’s right and who’s wrong in the chestnut rolling competition? Well, again, like most things – it depends on your sources. And the answers vary greatly depending on who you talk to. But really, this gives new meaning to the phrase “balls of steel” and we really can’t wait for the forthcoming Netflix documentary. Because this is 2024 and you ain’t famous until Netflix has greenlit a documentary based on your story. I mean come on, they gave us Tiger King for crying out loud. And for someone who’s never heard of the sport until last week – yes, we too have no idea what’s going on!

The Conker World Championships has been embroiled in a cheating scandal after the winner of the tournament was discovered with a steel decoy in his pocket.

Known as “King Conker”, David Jakins secured the 2024 men’s competition title at the international event in Southwick, Northamptonshire, this weekend.

However, the validity of his victory has been called into question after cheating allegations surfaced, accusing him of using a conker made of steel to “obliterate” his opponents.

After the competition, the retired engineer was found to have a steel dummy, shaped and painted to look like a real conker and threaded on identical lace.
https://www.the-independent.com/news/uk/home-news/conker-world-champsionships-steel-dummy-b2629369.html




Yeah come on, shots!!! Speaking of shots… what’s absolutely weird about this story is that one day, the media is saying that Mr. Jakins cheated, and then the next day, they’re saying he was cleared of cheating. Then the next day, they say the stories about the cheating accusations are being withdrawn, and rinse and repeat. See, this is why we need to have some drinks when we discuss weird stories like this, because being drunk off our ass is probably the only way we can comprehend anything because the media never tells anything the way we see it. So did Mr. Jakins cheat? Did he not cheat? It will be interesting to see how this unfolds, and like we said at the beginning – we can’t wait for the Netflix documentary on this. Come on, people watched Tiger King!

A veteran conkers competitor dubbed King Conker has rejected claims he cheated his way to his first men's title after 40 years of trying.

David Jakins won the men's competition at the World Conker Championships during the tournament in Northamptonshire on Sunday.

But the 82-year-old's victory was plunged into controversy and he was surprised to find himself at the centre of national headlines when the Telegraph reported claims he cheated by swapping his real conker for a metal one.

Mr Jakins told the BBC he denied the allegations. Event chairman Jim Packer also rejected the claims, saying: "Somebody's a sore loser, I think."
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c3e9k72qz7xo





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[font size="8"] Road To The White House 2024
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Welcome back to our segment that lumps all of the election coverage of the 2024 election to end all elections in: Road To The White House! Look, here’s something that we need to explain to MAGA people, who clearly have zero understanding about how being president of the United States actually works. And yes, you have zero clue because you let talk show hosts do all of your critical thinking for you. But one of the things that being president of the United States entails – you occasionally have to get out of your comfort zone to face people who you don’t like. Kamala Harris did just that during her appearance on Fox News last week. Which, of course, if you watch Fox for more than 2 minutes afterward without wanting to throw your TV out the window, then you are obviously a better person than I am, and of course Fox News painted their host as the winner and Kamala the loser. But the Brett Baier interview highlights what might be MAGA’s biggest problem – they never know when to shut the fuck up, and a lot of people who vote that way are simply incapable of it.

On a recent episode of “The Late Show with Stephen Colbert,” the show host took a dig at Bret Baier for his now-viral Fox News interview with Kamala Harris. Colbert went on to call the network the “belly of the beast.” He also commended the Democratic presidential candidate on making it out of the interview and holding her own. However, before he began, he made it clear to his viewers that he was in full support of journalists asking the “toughest questions of presidential candidates.”

He began by highlighting that Baier never gave Harris a chance to answer his questions. Colbert jokingly questioned, “Does he think he is interviewing himself?” He likened the journalist’s demeanor to that of a cat’s, doing a clawing action as he went “meow.” The show host also pointed out Baier misquoting Donald Trump, picking and choosing sections that justified his answer. He joked that it was similar to someone only watching the opening scene of “Jurassic Park” and thinking it would be a lovely place to reside in because of the lush greenery.

Stephen Colbert then stated, “A journalist can’t selectively edit what someone says just to please their audience.” However, he couldn’t resist adding that he could because he was a “late-night host” and “not a journalist.”
https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/did-stephen-colbert-bret-baier-185818774.html




Oh just go fuck right the fuck off, Fox News. Yes, MAGA doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up or stick their nose where it doesn’t belong. But at least Kamala is putting an end to the damn question we’ve been hearing from every Fox News host ever since Biden stepped down. And that is that she doesn’t talk to anybody. Uh excuse me??? Where have you been? Oh yeah, like most of MAGA world, Fox News has their lips firmly placed on Trump’s ass, and we all know how much Trump just loves getting his ass kissed, and that’s a pretty disgusting picture! But Fox will never, ever cross over to our side no matter how much it’s the right thing to do or not. And again, Brett Baier, please, for the love of god, shut the fuck up. And also Trump, shut the fuck up.

Bret Baier is defending his aggressive interviewing style during his Oct. 16 sit-down with Kamala Harris on Fox News.

Baier’s interview with Harris sparked discourse (and a “Saturday Night Live” parody, with Alec Baldwin portraying the Fox News anchor) due to Baier’s constant interrupting of the Vice President.

Baier told Vanity Fair that his interruptions were in an effort to “redirect” Harris from her “talking points,” adding that if he didn’t interject, the Democratic candidate for president would “eat up all the time of this interview that was live-to-tape.”

According to CNN, Baier interrupted Harris “at least 38 times in 27 minutes, about twice as often as Baier interjected with Trump (at least 28 times in 36 minutes).” “SNL” satirized the interview with Maya Rudolph’s Harris telling Baldwin’s Baier that he has to “listen” to hear her answers to his questions — to which Baldwin quips: “Well, I can’t because I’m talking.”
https://variety.com/2024/tv/news/bret-baier-defends-interrupting-kamala-harris-fox-news-interview-1236185122/




Why yes, that clip is strangely relevant to this conversation! But why are so many people telling us to stay out of enemy territory? Come on, it doesn’t stop Angels fans from showing up to Dodgers Stadium with full Angels gear on. But what I’m loving about this particular interview is that the more they go on Fox News, the more Fox News hates it. And at least Harris is getting out of her comfort zone, and we can’t say the same for Donny, and for the looks of it, Donny seems to be retracting into his bubble and comfort zone more and more the more he cancels his appearances in favor of only going on programs that make him look good to his base.

Former President Trump and his team spend a lot of time blasting Vice President Harris at rallies, on social media and on TV. But lately they've had a new target: Ian Sams, Harris' unassuming spokesperson.

Driving the news: Sams has appeared on Fox News several times in the past two weeks to throw darts at Trump, prompting the ex-president and his staff to fire off dozens of social media posts blasting Sams — and essentially accusing the conservative network of betrayal.

Zoom in: Sams, a longtime Democratic operative, was on Fox four times in five days last week. He brought up Trump's actions on Jan. 6, his refusal to release his medical records and his handling of the pandemic — all while defending Harris on one of Trump's go-to media outlets.

After Sams was on Neil Cavuto's show and said, "We're not seeing Donald Trump do very many interviews," Trump had had enough.
https://www.axios.com/2024/10/24/ian-sams-harris-trump-fox-news




He’s had enough? Come on, have you seen him lately? I cant even. But then again, the cultists are going to cult. At least Saturday Night Live is having a field day with this election and we don’t see them slowing down until it happens. We just hope that this year doesn’t have the same outcome that 2016 and we are very actively praying that it doesn’t! The good news though, is that the ratings are in – and Kamala scored higher Fox News ratings than Donny has in the last few months. An even further sign that his world is imploding around him. It’s just too bad that Donny’s handlers and his favorite news networks can’t see it.

The Fox News interview with Kamala Harris set a record for the 2024 campaign as the most-watched media appearance to date, drawing a total audience of 7.8 million viewers, outperforming Harris’ appearance on CBS’ 60 Minutes (5.7 million viewers), ABC’s The View (3.1 million viewers) and CBS’ The Late Show with Stephen Colbert.

The interview with Fox News anchor Bret Baier on Special Report made news itself—both for Harris’ decision to speak to Fox, and for the often contentious questioning by Baier, leading Harris to object to the host’s talking over her when she was trying to answer his question.

From 6 to 6:30 p.m. ET Wednesday, Fox News had a total audience of 7.8 million viewers and 1.126 million viewers in the key demographic of adults 25-54, the group most valued by advertisers. That put Fox News far into first place in the time period, ahead of MSNBC (1.6 million viewers and 148,000 in the key demo) and CNN 805,000 total viewers and 161,000 in the key demo).

As the presidential campaign winds into its final weeks, both the Harris and Trump campaigns are calibrating their media strategy, with both candidates mixing traditional broadcast and cable interviews with unconventional choices like sitting down with podcasters—as Harris did recently on the podcast Call Her Daddy.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/markjoyella/2024/10/18/kamala-harris-fox-news-interview-is-most-watched-of-the-24-campaign/






[font size="4"]And Now This: [/font]
[font size="4"]Imagine Dragons[/font]

Ladies and gentlemen, my next guest –my next guest has a great new album out called "Loom"! You can see them at the Hollywood Bowl this weekend for 5 shows, and ending with a special performance with the LA Film Orchestra this Sunday! Playing their song "Eyes Closed", give it up for Imagine Dragons!



Thank you Villanova! This was fun! We had a great time in central PA! We’re off to Ann Arbor next week for our Halloween Spooktacular with live music from Imagine Dragons and our last minute election coverage! This is it! Get out the MF vote!!! Do it now!

See you next week!

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