My husband collapsed and died tonight.

[1monster]

I'm not looking for sympathy or words of wisdom. I'm just trying to wrap my mind around it. I need to tell my stepson before I let his and our friends know, so I came here where there is some annonymity.

He has been dianosed with Parkinson's Disease for ten years, and had symptoms (serious sleep disorders) for around ten years before that. This past year was difficult for him as he developed severe spinal stenosis and could no longer walk. About a month and a half ago, he had to be hospitalized with a UTI and cellulitis. He stayed in hospital for eight days, then was transferred to a skilled nursing facility for two weeks.

While he was in the nursing facility, the UTI made a come back. He was still on antibiotics when I brought him home, but finished the course in two days. He seemed better for a few days. And then started hallucinating a bit again. A visit with his PCP elicited that the UTI was still lurking, thus more antibiotics that he was still taking, but he seemed much better.

Today, my son and I were picking up an Rx for him, for whatever reason, I felt the need to prepare him for his father's eventual death. I said I thought he was getting ready to die -- not right away, but maybe a few months or a year.

So tonight, around 11:30, he was watching Stephanie Ruhl when I asked him if he was ready to go to bed. He said yes, so I rolled him back to the bedroom. He sat on the edge of the bed to get undressed and asked me to watch the rest of Stephanie's interview with Fred Guttenberg. He seemed fine, alert.

About two minutes later, I heard my son shout. He heard a crash in the bathroom and his dad moaning. I got to my husband in about fifen seconds. He was moaning, lying on the floor in a very uncomfortable position (that has happened before).

I tried to get him up, but couldn't. My son also tried, but couldn't. I noticed that he had become unresponsive, (my son was telling him fiercely, "Don't you dare die!" ) called 911, and began chest compressions as instructed by the 911 operator. EMS and several sheriff's deputies were there within five minutes or less as I hadn't begun to tire from the chest compressions. I'm sure adrenalin helped there as I'm still feeling the effects of it two hours later.

The paramedics tried to imbue cautious optimism in me, but I knew he was gone.

He has been a part of my life for nearly 50 years. We lived together for eight years before deciding to get married and have been married for 33 years. And I don't know how I feel...

[BWdem4life]

1. Deepest condolences

[Roy Rolling]

2. With You

No words can change things, but I hope they can comfort you. Much love.❤️

[niyad]

3. My deepest condolences.

Know that your DU family is here for you. Lean as hard as you need.

[TSExile]

4. I am so sorry.

We are here...🙏❤️

[duncang]

5. Really feel sad for your loss

Last year my wife of 49 years passed away. Telling others what happened was hard. I don’t know what to say except try to keep yourself going. It may seem like everything is expected of you. Things may seem like they have to be taken care of now. Like me you may have things that may seem to be addressed immediately. But try to give yourself time to help yourself.

[cilla4progress]

6. Wrapping virtual arms around you

in comfort and support!

[Skittles]

7. what a cruel disease

I so sorry 1monster, we are here for you

[jaxexpat]

8. Thak you so much for this.

I expect I speak for many who read your letter when I say how honored I am that you shared this with me.

[Silver Gaia]

9. I am so sorry for your loss.

My heart is with you. May peace find you and comfort you in the coming days.

As others here have said, we are all here for you.

[BlueWaveNeverEnd]

10. im so sorry

[flying-skeleton]

11. Our deepest condolences

🙏🙏

[pazzyanne]

12. Deepest Condolences to you and your family.

May you find comfort in knowing that others care!

[tavernier]

13. Nine years ago I went through a much similar night

with my husband of also 33 years.

No matter how much you expected this, you are going through shock now and you will be for a while. Please don’t worry about others right now. Everyone will be fine, and in my experience will be your best source of support. And if not, that’s ok . For right now take care of yourself because you will need strength to get through the coming year. So be a little selfish and give yourself time and rest and a good diet and some exercise. Like you took care of him, now you need to do for yourself.

I’m so sorry it will hurt a lot so buy ten boxes of Kleenex and keep water close by to rehydrate. And try to laugh as often as possible. It clears out the black clouds in your head.

Hugs to you…
❤️

[Maru Kitteh]

142. That is platinum advice right there. All of it. We don't talk about death nearly enough.

Thank you for sharing that.

[tavernier]

161. Thanks. My widowed lady pals surrounded me immediately

and helped me get through the hardest year. We pass it on.

[BigmanPigman]

14. You don't know how you feel...

You're probably in shock at this point. Grief is handled by everyone in their own way and time period. Be kind to yourself. Write stuff down since there will be a lot of issues all at once and likely can't handle too much at this point. That's what I do when I'm overwhelmed.

[Earthrise]

15. Holding you, your son, and your stepson in the light.

Over time it may become a comfort that he was still enjoying daily life and went quickly at the end.

[irisblue]

16. Iam so so sorry for your great loss

[Doodley]

17. My love and thoughts to you. I am so sorry.

[mercuryblues]

18. Hugs to you

[HeartsCanHope]

19. I am so sorry. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

I'll be thinking of you all.

[MiHale]

20. Condolences...

Hugs

[B.See]

21. Saddening.

My sincerest condolences.

[no_hypocrisy]

22. My profound sympathies to you and your family.

[barbtries]

23. I'm so sorry.

[UpInArms]

24. I am so sorry

for all of it, his illness and now his passing …

My virtual arms are around you ((((((hugs))))))

[TommieMommy]

25. So sorry. I lost my husband in 2021, still miss him so much.

My brother in law has Parkinson's. I see what is happening to him. So many stages of grief. 💙💙💙💙💙 Hugs and love to you

[Tanuki]

26. Peace and comfort to you. This has to be so difficult.

I pray for strength and the support of the loved ones around you to walk you through the days ahead. Love lasts forever, and may your lifetime of memories of him bring you peace.
🌷

[littlemissmartypants]

27. So sorry. ❤️

[Emile]

28. Sorry for your loss.

[Tetrachloride]

29. My condolences from me and SO

ty for your post

[somaticexperiencing]

30. my heart goes out to you. my deepest sympathies.

[The_REAL_Ecumenist]

31. Oh, I'm so sorry for the loss of your beloved. I sincerely hope that you're surrounded by the love & caring of your

friends & family to hold you up while you deal with your grief & sadness & for your honey, safe journey home. Peace to you, family and your husband. Blessings of healing to all of you.

[hlthe2b]

32. I wish you peace with the knowledge that your care for your husband over the years made a tremendous difference...

--as only love can.

[ZZenith]

33. I wish you and your son Strength and Courage in the days ahead.

[mgardener]

34. I am

So so sorry.

[Think. Again.]

35. We hear you, we're listening, keep talking through it as much as you need or want to.

[kairos12]

36. Heartfelt condolences

from a recent widower.

[JustAnotherGen]

37. I'm here, I see you,

And it has been almost 6 months since my mom died suddenly -

And I still don't know how to feel. She had just been diagnosed with LEWY dementia.

I thought I had time.

[blogslug]

38. I'm so sorry.

I wish you comfort and peace at this time. ❤️ ❤️ ❤️

[PCIntern]

39. I'm so sorry...

May his memory always be for a blessing

[Grumpy Old Guy]

40. I am sorry for your loss.

[mucholderthandirt]

41. I am so sorry. Peace and strength to you and his other family and friends.

[sarge43]

42. Condolences

The love you had for each other bring you peace and comfort.

[Bernardo de La Paz]

43. "wrap your mind around it"? (natural thoughts) He was/is loved. He loved you. You & son were there. Stuff happens.

My eyes are teary. I'm sorry this happened and that it happened this way.

It is natural to feel a little bit lost, a little bit "at sea", a little bit wondering, especially when it happens suddenly. It is natural to not know how to feel. Let the feelings come in their own time. You don't owe society to have to feel one way or another.

Your conversation with your son during the Rx shows that you were prepared and preparing others. That means you have fundamentally a strong outlook. But it is okay to later feel weak and alone and knocked about by a storm. Those feelings will pass.

What will endure is your love for your husband and your family and his love for you all.

[soandso]

241. Well said

[livetohike]

44. I'm so sorry. My sympathy to you and your family.

May the good memories always comfort you .

[NameAlreadyTaken]

45. I'm sorry for your loss.

[underpants]

46. I'm so sorry

[Dr. Shepper]

47. I am so sorry. Wishing light and peace

For you and your family.

[Tesha]

48. So very sorry

[KarenS]

49. I'm so sorry.

[Brainfodder]

50. Sorry for your loss.

Have relative in year 12 of Parkinson's, being aware that it isn't an instant death sentence is an important message!

[TheBlackAdder]

51. I'm so sorry for you.

[Botany]

52. One step in front of the other you can do this

He died in his own home with you there and that is good thing. It doesn’t make it
hurt less but you did the right things. You helped him live over 10 years with Parkinson’s.

[GigiLeigh]

53. I'm so very sorry

for your loss.

[akbacchus_BC]

54. Sorry for your loss. My deepest condolences to you and your family.

[gademocrat7]

55. Condolences, 1monster

on the loss of your beloved husband. Sending you and your family hugs and love.

We are here for you.

[Niagara]

56. My condolences on the loss of your beloved, 1monster

[NNadir]

57. Deepest condolences.

[mahina]

58. I will be thinking of you. It's a lot to process

And accept. ✨✨✨

[malaise]

59. This is so sad

Deepest sympathy

[LisaM]

60. I'm so sorry.

I hope you have a good support group and that your grieving process is bearable.

[Liberal In Texas]

61. I'm so sorry to hear about your husband passing.

I hope you are able to get through the next few days and weeks with the best outcomes for your life. I'm glad your stepson is around to help.

[Snoopy 7]

62. RIP

Let him fly with the Angels even as you will feel the pain and miss his touch. But, you must go on for those around you. It's been 15 years since our Son was taken from us and the pain remains the same but we go on for those around us.

[MacKasey]

63. So sorry for your loss,

May God surround with his love and hold you safe in the palm of his hand.

[JohnSJ]

64. So very sorry what you are going through.

[ancianita]

65. Sorry for your loss. May your heart find peace.

[GeoWilliam750]

66. Deepest condolences

And sympathy

[Old Crank]

67. I am truely sorry for your loss.

I can't imagine the grief of having a life partner of so many years die.
All my best.

[Jersey Devil]

68. Sorry for your loss

May he rest in peace.

[bdamomma]

69. My deepest sympathy

to you and your son.

[mnhtnbb]

70. You are probably in shock

to have experienced the loss of your husband in such a sudden and brutal way. You may be flooded with feelings all of a sudden, or may be too numbed by the experience to not know what you feel for some time.
How to tell your friends and family is the next step. Don't be afraid to delegate. When my estranged husband of 33 years died suddenly --by his own hand--I had just sent Christmas/holiday cards/notes to people scattered all over the country. I made a two sided card--using Shutterfly --to create an In Memory Of announcement. I had my sons call family members. People will not know what to say and they can sometimes say things you won't want to hear. Don't be afraid to give yourself some space and let people help you with all the steps of formally saying goodbye to your husband if you decide to have a funeral or celebration of life gathering.
Breathe. Just breathe and know there is always someone here at DU to listen or engage in conversation.
I am so sorry for your loss.

[iluvtennis]

71. So, so sorry for your loss. My heart goes out to you. n/t

[snowybirdie]

72. So very sorry

He's at peace. May you find it.

[usedtobedemgurl]

73. I am so sorry.

Sending you much love and light.

[Dear_Prudence]

74. So sorry for your loss.

[japple]

75. Holding you and your family in the light. Your husband was lucky to have you

and your son with him. Hold on to each other and remember the good times you had together. May the angels hold you aloft during this time of sorrow.

[SheltieLover]

76. Deepest condolences

Please be gentle with yourself as grieving is hard work, mentally, emotionally, & physically.

[phylny]

77. Such a shock. I'm so very sorry for

the loss of your beloved husband.

[harumph]

78. That's terrible. I'm very sorry

[pandr32]

79. My sympathies.

[Sea A Chell]

80. Hugs to you and your family

So sorry to hear of your loss. Even if it's not a surprise, it still hurts. Sending you hugs and prayers o5f comfort and strength.

[flakey_foont]

81. So very sorry

Deepest condolences

[ramen]

82. I'm so sorry.

There are no words for this. All the best to you all.

[samnsara]

83. my biggest fear....

...I am so very sorry. Please let us know any way we can help.

(((hugs)))

[Vinca]

84. I can't imagine what you've just experienced, but as we age I guess we have to accept this is going to happen

somehow some way. It sounds like this part of your life has been very hard to get through and will take some time to heal from. Maybe you never heal, but it does get better day by day. I hope you don't think of this as words of wisdom, which you said you don't want. Consider it one older woman talking to another. Take care.

[ecstatic]

85. I am so sorry for your loss

I can't imagine how you're feeling right now. Follow your heart and intuition with regard to requesting an autopsy.

[Solly Mack]

86. It's a shock even when we know and I'm sorry you are going through it.

My heartfelt sympathies.

[Groundhawg]

87. So sorry for your loss.

[Delphinus]

88. {{{hugs}}}

I am grateful you could share this with us; holding you and your family in my heart. My sincere condolences.

[True Blue American]

89. I am sorry you

Lost your husband to such an awful disease.

My DIL’ Father suffered the same. It was awful to see a really good,, caring man suffer.

I hope you have the strength to get through. Keep in mind he is not suffering now and think of the good times he brought to you and the family.
God Bless.

[samplegirl]

90. So very sorry

Especially for how it all ended. Life is just not fair.
Hoping you find strength to deal with it all.
Deepest sympathy.

[oasis]

91. My condolences for the loss of your dear one.

[SunsetDreams2]

92. I'm so sorry for

You and your sons profound loss. My heart goes out to you and him.

[a kennedy]

93. Soooooooooooooo sorry for you and your stepson.....I have no words of comfort.

He will RIP.

[Janeyre]

94. I am so so sorry.

May you find the strength to handle it all. There are many people here offering you comfort. Hope it helps you. Bless you. I'm keeping you in my thoughts.

[PJMcK]

95. Peace (n/t)

[dmr]

96. I am so sorry, 1monster

The shock, and the heartbreak can be so overwhelming, but thankfully time will help you heal.

We at DU are here for you, truly we are.

Condolences and blessings to you, your son, stepson, family and friends.

[Bettie]

97. I'm sorry

losing your partner in life is going to be hard. I hope you can find peace in the coming days.

[LiberalLoner]

98. My deepest condolences for you and your family.

[MayReasonRule]

99. Hugs Y'all... My Sincere Condolences...

[La Coliniere]

100. My deepest condolences

and a big virtual hug.

[marble falls]

101. I cannot even begin to know what you've just been through. I don't even know the depth of what it ...

... was for you and your son to react as well as you both did last night. I am so sorry your loss, while I am in awe of your efforts.

All three of you were magnificent. Bless you all.

[Americanme]

102. So sorry for your loss

Hugs to you and your sons.

[Ocelot II]

103. I'm so sorry!

[cally]

104. Sending love, support, and hugs

My Dad collapsed and died a few years ago and it was such a shock. I didn't grieve for awhile because I was in shock, then the intense grief hit. You will make it through.

My deepest condolences. Be kind to yourself and realize that grief is hard.

[highplainsdem]

105. I'm so sorry.

[arkielib]

106. I'm so sorry, 1monster.

Your DU family is here for you.

[spooky3]

107. I'm so sorry. Please take care of yourself. Nt

[Ruby the Liberal]

108. I am so sorry for your loss

My deepest condolences. May his memory be a blessing to you both and all who loved him.

[riversedge]

109. May you and your family find peace.

[SilverDawg]

110. So sorry for your loss

[Deep State Witch]

111. I am so sorry for your loss

Hail the Traveler! May he go forth shining!

[Happy Hoosier]

112. I'm so very sorry. My deepest sympahties to you and your family. NT

[democratsruletheday]

113. I'm so sorry 1monster...

It sounded sudden and quick but that being said a terrible shock. Prayers sent for you and your family from a Michigan Dem.

[area51]

114. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[lark]

115. My husband and I have been together since 1982. I don't know what I'd do if he died either?

I'm grateful for you that he didn't suffer much and that you got to enjoy him right up until the last. Best wishes on surviving this and eventually thriving again. Kinda sounds like you are in a bit of shock right now - so understandable.

This really hit home as yesterday hubs had lots of tests and there were some heart and lung issues. The heart showed blockage of 48% in one of the vessles that supplies blood to the heart. He went to Mayo, which is amazing, and had the results on his phone right away along with a message from his dr. Think an angioplasty is next step - just so glad he decided to get these tests done!!

[Bumbles]

116. I am so sorry. Be kind to yourself, give yourself time to process and grieve.

[Joinfortmill]

117. I think you may be in shock. I'm emotionally wrapping my arms around you in a comforting hug.

I also prayed for you and your family. Please take care of yourself.

[spanone]

118. ...

[FightFight]

119. j am sorry

[JustinBulletin]

120. My thoughts are with you.

I lost my husband a little over two years ago in a similar situation after a long ten year decline with multiple illnesses. Even though you know death is near we are never ready for that dreaded moment. It is truly mind numbing and earth shaking. Take good care of yourself, and do not feel guilty about anything you thought you should or should not have done. You have done everything you could. Most importantly, you loved him.

[cate94]

121. I'm so very sorry

[onecaliberal]

122. I'm so sorry..

Hugs.

[ThePartyThatListens]

123. Accept my sincere condolences.

[Lulu KC]

124. I am so sorry

After such a long illness, it sounds very sudden and literally shock-ing for you and your son. I wish you peace as you grieve.

[TBF]

125. I unexpectedly lost my brother

and the shock is real. I had a hard time figuring out how to press forward and function the first few days. You'll get things done but barely remember it. Be kind to yourself, it's a very difficult process. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Fla Dem]

126. I am so sorry for you and your son. I glad you felt you could come here to share your grief.

Peace to you and your family.

[marked50]

127. So sorry for you and your stepson.

[Mr. Mustard 2023]

128. Condolences to you and your family.

[sinkingfeeling]

129. My deepest condolences.

[Trueblue Texan]

130. I am so deeply sorry for your loss and the trauma you and your son have been through.

The haze you are now in is nature's sedative. There will be time enough for real grief when it appears. Please know that all here are thinking about you and your son as you move through the fog and beyond. Peace and healing to you both.

[Ilsa]

131. You are still in shock.

I was in a similar situation two years ago.

My heart goes out to you and your stepson. Please take good care of yourselves. Find someone to talk to. May he rest in peace.

[TruthAlwaysWins]

132. Sending you all kinds of strength,

courage, love and comfort. You were there for your husband for so many years. May God and all things good be with you through this next difficult chapter.

[Festivito]

133. Your loss already happened over time. The good you've done masks this last bit.

A short passing, knowing a long build-up of love over time. You have all done well.

[mountain grammy]

134. My deepest sympathies to you and your family

[GoldenMezzoDiva]

135. My heart goes out to you and your son...

who has loved that man so very, very much...
Words are meaningless at this point, but please know
that we all care...

[LuckyCharms]

136. I'm so very sorry, 1monster.

[MaryMagdaline]

137. I'm so sorry.

Losing a husband is like losing a part of yourself. My deepest condolences

[diehardblue]

138. Condolences for you and your family.

[RainCaster]

139. You will go through a wide range of emotions

Keep your friends and family close.

[peggysue2]

140. So sorry to read this

Must have been a terrible shock the way things played out. Strange too, you mentioned the UTI your husband was battling. My sister and my mother-in-law had the same problem as they approached death, recurring UTIs that antibiotic therapy couldn't knock out completely. And the subsequent hallucinations.

This type of loss is always hard, even when you know it's coming. Sending you and your family blessings.

[KS Toronado]

141. My deepest condolences.

[Deuxcents]

143. My sincere condolences ((hugs)) 💐

[berniesandersmittens]

144. Im so sorry for your family's loss

May your husband be at peace.

[debm55]

145. I am so sorry. May his memeories be a blessing to you and your family.

[2 Meow Momma]

146. ...

I’m sorry for your great loss.

[Clouds Passing]

147. Your long beloved husband

Hold on tightly to your cherished memories with him. Feel his spirit in your heart. Know you are loved. Give your stepson extra comfort. 🩵🩵

[LaMouffette]

148. I am so very sorry for your loss! You have my very deepest condolences. I am glad that DU provided you a safe place to

share this devastating experience. It is impossible to hold something like this inside.

[0rganism]

149. I'm so sorry for your loss

[doubleplusgood]

150. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Please accept my deepest condolences and please take care of yourself. Hugs to you.

[RT Atlanta]

151. I am so sorry to learn of your husband's passing

With deepest sympathies.

[IbogaProject]

152. I am so sorry

It is never easy. Please take care.

[Maru Kitteh]

153. Please check in now and again and let us know you are okay. Anonymous we may be, but we care about you.

This is a terrible time, and we are here to offer our shoulders and backs however we can.

[TygrBright]

154. I hear you, 1monster.

Events happen in real time, feelings are often on their own schedule. There is nothing predictable or normal about how it's "supposed" to work. Just get through it, one minute at a time.

If it's helpful, keep in mind that you are NOT ALONE. Besides your family, this community, anonymous as we may be, are here to read and share what you're going through.

I'm holding you in my heart.

lovingly,
Bright

[CaptainTruth]

155. I am so so sorry...

[murielm99]

156. I am so sorry.

[CrispyQ]

157. My deepest sympathies to you & your family. -nt

[AKwannabe]

158. ...

[KPN]

159. So, so sorry 1monster. I'm glad you could share with us here.

And glad to be able to listen. I can’t imagine experiencing all of that … it’s no wonder you couldn’t wrap your head around it. Please feel free to come back here if you need a shoulder to lean on or someone to listen as you navigate through your loss. Peace be with you, your son and stepson.

[relayerbob]

160. My condolences to you and your family

[bluestarone]

162. Sorry to hear this. Lost for words, but

Hoping the best for you and your son.

[Passages]

163. What a shock! My condolences and hugs to you.

[Highway61]

164. I am so very sorry

eom

[Coexist]

165. My thoughts are with you

I'm so sorry

[Maeve]

166. You don't have to know how you feel---just feel--or not

Shock hits different ways. Let it flow and let it go. There is no "right" way to mourn and don't let anyone tell you there is. You do you.
Hugs from afar

[Xavier Breath]

167. My condolences for your loss.

[Richluu]

168. I know. Me too. 22 months ago.

I found my husband collapsed and dead when I got back from a church service I was leading. Cry, then rebuild. "Heaviness may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning." Psalms 50:5

[Liberty Belle]

169. I'm so sorry. I lost my father to Parkinson's and Alzheimer's.

He suffered terribly and ultimately died in a nursing home.

I'm glad your husband was able to come home and be with family for his final days. Take comfort in that.

You did everything you could.

Pull together some photos of your husband in happier times for a memorial service,and focus on your son.

Reach out to friends,even those you haven't seen in a while as you cared for your husband. If you belong to a church, let them know. They are very good at helping during times like these,even with basic things like showing up with casseroles so you don't have to cook while dealing with all that you're now facing.

[Richluu]

170. I know. Me too. 22 months ago.

I found my husband collapsed and dead when I got back from a church service I was leading. Cry, then rebuild. "Heaviness may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning." Psalms 50:5

[róisín_dubh]

171. May his memory be an eternal blessing.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[Arthur_Frain]

172. Sorry this happened the way it did.

I wish we all could have a little grace on the way out.

[Linda ladeewolf]

173. You have my sympathy anyway.

My husband and I are very close. We’ve been together for 25. Years. I can’t read your story without knowing how I would feel. Deepest Condolences.

[Spazito]

174. I am so very sorry...

[c-rational]

175. I am so sorry for your loss. Condolences to you and all the family.

[kimbutgar]

176. I am so sorry

My condolences to your family.

[yardwork]

177. I'm so sorry for your loss.

[DownriverDem]

178. So very sorry

Glad your son is there. The next few days will be one big whirl. It is not easy to deal with the death of a loved one,

[Wild blueberry]

179. Sending love and peace to you

Please be kind to yourself and go easy.
We are here.

[bikes and bunnies]

180. I'm so sorry for your loss

My deepest condolences.

That is hard to go through. Peace be with you.

[Dan]

181. I'm sorry for your loss.

Take care of yourself.

[PA Democrat]

182. I am so sorry for your loss.

[LoisB]

183. I am so sorry. I pray for strength for you.

[sheshe2]

184. I am so very sorry for your loss.

Peace to you and yours. 💙

[people]

185. So very sad for you and your sons

Glad you have one another there.

[StarryNite]

186. I am so very sorry.

[Mr.Bill]

187. Sincere condolences

to you and your family.

[PortTack]

188. So so sorry!

[Danmel]

189. I'm so sorry for your loss

May sweet memories of your beloved husband bring you comfort and peace.

[Nigrum Cattus]

190. Grief

https://psychcentral.com/lib/the-5-stages-of-loss-and-grief#the-kubler-ross-model
This can help, my condolences.

[CountAllVotes]

191. This saddens me greatly

I lost my husband of 36 years in 2022.

I found myself looking at his death cert. the other day.

He died a cruel and very sad death due to vascular dementia, a problem he was diagnosed with in Feb. 2022. He fell and broke his hip in May of 2022 and he died a few days later as he could not breathe or swallow.

I don't know what to do with myself.

I've gone through a lot of money before and after his death as the whole thing was a frightening and pricey nightmare.

I'll never get over it, never.

I wish you peace in your life if you can find it.

I will also caution you as there are people out there that prey on people like us, elderly widows and widowers.

I'm glad you have someone with you.

I've been alone through this whole process for the past 2-1/2 years.

I find myself to be a somewhat confused wreck as I watch my world crumble around. Being disabled and alone with no help just makes matters worse as I was not prepared for his death at all. He was 85 years old when he died.

Take care of yourself, number one as they say.

[pansypoo53219]

192. its a blessing, but its damned too fast. my uncle's mother in law was slipping into AZ, had a heart attack

+ died before the horrible stage.

getting old sucks.

[Picaro]

193. My deepest sympathies

[sueh]

194. I'm so sorry for your loss. I just lost my husband 3 weeks ago .

It will take awhile for you to process. It'll be a roller coaster for now. Just take it one day at a time.

[Tree Lady]

195. Sending hugs and love

sorry for your loss. We are here to be with you.

[The Third Doctor]

196. So sorry

[LiberalFighter]

197. We are never ready. Keep the memories with you.

[Wicked Blue]

198. I'm so sorry for your enormous loss, 1monster

Being numb at first is pretty normal. It's a shock mentally, emotionally and physically.

Sending you DU vibes of peace and healing

(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((( )))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))

[evolves]

199. So sorry for your loss.

Sending support and thoughts for peace.

[colorado_ufo]

200. This is one of the hardest things in life, and my heart goes out to you.

May God give you strength and wisdom and healing.

[pacalo]

201. I wish I could hug you.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

[DFW]

202. Condolences and admiration

For your loss and for holding yourself together.

My wife and I met 50 years ago this year, and like you, were together eight years before getting married (never found the time for all the bi-lingual paperwork). If I go first, I’m sure she’ll be strong. If I lose her first, I’ll be a useless wreck. I get the feeling that you’ll handle this. Come talk to us if there are barriers along the way.

[virgdem]

203. My deepest condolences to you on the loss

of your beloved husband. Please know that we are here for you. Please take care of yourself and your son. 💔

[OAITW r.2.0]

204. A surreal moment for you and your stepson. Condolences.

[Hekate]

205. Condolences to you and your family. Peace & love be with all of you in the days to come.

[ms.pamela]

206. My sympathy goes out to you

My dear I know you are in shock even through you thought you were a little prepared for this, please take care of yourself. You did a wonderful job of caring for a sick spouse. I'm sure your husband appreciated it greatly. I shall pray for you and your family.

[StrictlyRockers]

207. I am so sorry for your loss.

I don't know how much words can help in this time, but feel free to DM and reach out.

[sakabatou]

208. Hugs

[ravjav]

209. So Very Sorry

Love never dies.

[Alice B.]

210. Every sympathy to you and your family,

[Teacher of the Year]

211. Some hugs from far away.

So sorry.

[Diamond_Dog]

212. I am so sorry 1monster.

Please accept my sincerest condolences. I will pray for strength for you to get through this.

[Permanut]

213. Just holding you in my thoughts..

[calimary]

214. Sending you love and emotional support.

Just one look at the length of this thread should help ease at least a tiny bit of the pain. Let it help to remind you that you’re not going through this alone.

[ificandream]

215. My heart goes out to you.

[generalbetrayus]

216. You have my sincerest condolences. I feel your pain.

My dad collapsed from a previously undiagnosed brain tumor four days before he died. I wasn't there when he collapsed - he was found by someone checking in on him at his assisted living home apartment. I watched him take his final breath minutes after he was taken from the hospital back to my mother's nursing home room. I was 51 years old when he died. You will get through this. He is at peace now. Virtual hugs.

[Dem4life1970]

217. I am so very sorry for your loss....

[Windy Apple]

218. PEACE

[wryter2000]

219. I'm so sorry this happened to you and your son

What an awful thing to endure.

[Duncan Grant]

220. Deepest sympathies to you and your family.

[NoSheep]

221. May peace come to you and your son.

[senseandsensibility]

222. So, so sorry

Well, words are just completely inadequate at times like these, aren't' they? Your last sentence really struck a chord. My mother died recently and I didn't know how/what to feel. I felt numb, in shock. It is only now starting to wear off and the depth of the loss is creeping in at all times of the day and night. Sometimes I think our psyche knows how much we can take and protects us from the extreme reality of life changing events. So my only advice (which probably isn't worth much) is allow yourself to feel what you are capable of feeling. May your beloved husband RIP.

[happy feet]

223. I am so so sorry

Sending you my love and hugs

[sdfernando]

224. I am so sorry for you loss

50 years is a long time….remember those were 50 good years. You are probably numb right now….let the emotions flow when they start. It’s a good thing and helps.

Peace & love to you and your family

[Warpy]

225. I'm so sorry. You did everything you possibly could have done.

[CousinIT]

226. I am so very sorry for your loss. Holding you in warmth and light.

It will take time to process what has happened, and I wish you and your son peace and strength as you deal with this loss.
Your DU family is here if and when you need to share anonymously.

[AllaN01Bear]

227. ""

[SleeplessinSoCal]

228. So very sorry

So hard. No matter how we may prepare for these events, it is beyond our ability to go through them without being overwhelmed.

Wishing you strength and the ability to cherish the good times.

❤️

[MagickMuffin]

229. Dearest 1monster, condolences of the highest order

🕯️Light

🌹 Life

And

❤️ Love

May you and your family know time heals but it takes its time, sometimes.

Best regards and Peace Profound

[misanthrope]

230. I'm terribly sorry

My condolences on your loss.

[KT2000]

231. I am so sorry

sending you a hug.

[rambler_american]

232. So very sorry. n/t

[appleannie1]

233. Sorry for your loss. It has been almost 5 years since my husband died.

You will experience a whole range of feelings. Know that is normal. Don't be afraid to express your feelings as you did by coming here. That is a lot healthier than holding everything inside.. Sending a virtual hug.

[nolabear]

234. Oh my dear I am so sorry

I know no words are much help right now. But know we care, this odd little family, and are thinking of you.

[sarchasm]

235. Sorry for your loss. 💔

[Homoudont]

236. So Sorry for your Loss

[LostOne4Ever]

237. My deepest condolences

N/t

[DinahMoeHum]

238. Love and prayers for you and your family

and remember, you are not alone here.

[benfranklin1776]

239. I am so very sorry.

That was a horrible thing for you to endure. My deepest condolences 🫂

[Catherine Vincent]

240. My condolences

[bleedingulcers]

242. This is my nightmare....

Sending you all of the love in my heart. I don't know that this helps at all, but at some time in the future you will maybe be able to realize how much you matter to us, and how much we wish we could do more for you...

[anamnua]

243. Sincerest condolences. nt.

[electric_blue68]

244. Woah, that's just Awful! My condolences. Especially bc it was a sudden shock...

you might feel all kinds of things. Probably all normal.
Be patient with yourself!

[xmas74]

245. I am so sorry.

[Demsrule86]

246. I am so sorry for your loss...

[liberalla]

247. I am so sorry for your loss. Take time, and take care of yourself.

I'm wishing you comfort and peace.

[Beacool]

248. I'm so sorry for your loss.

I can't imagine what it must feel like to lose your life partner of 50 years. My sincerest condolences to you and your family.

[ProfessorGAC]

249. All Our Sympathies

Tough situation, but you hang in there!
Your post indicates strength.

[soldierant]

250. My heart bleeds for you

so please don't think I ambeing dismissive when I say that your reactions sound completely normal.

NO one can - or should - kow how to feel in he face of sudden and unexpected death. And sometime those feelings would seem pretty weird to someone who doesn't get the concept of shock. My mother once told me about a woman who was hit by a car an had one or both legs broken - and was in inconsolable grief on account of a run in her stocking (yes, I'm old enough to remember stockings.) Her husband - my father - died on my fourth day of post=-natal existence. (I'm old enough that she was still in the hospital.) She told me her first reaction was that they wold not allow her out in time to attend the funeral (and she was correct - but felt guilty over what she considered the triviality of it.)

Please be kind to yourself. Glance up at the still-growing number of recommendatins to your post ans realize that every one is a heart which is with you. That the number of comments is smaller jsut means that some people don't know what to say or how to say it. (I'm ususally in that category myself.) But believe me, the love is there.

[HipChick]

251. I am so sorry for your loss

[babylonsister]

252. Please add my sympathy to this outpouring.

I'm happy you had your hubby for so long, he was a lucky guy, and am glad you have family there.

[Ellipsis]

253. May you be loved in the future, so sorry for your loss.

[crimycarny]

254. So very sorry for both you and your son

I lost my son unexpectedly and the grief is like nothing you can describe. There are no human words that quite encompass the pain.

[FirstLight]

255. Oh wow, so very sorry 😞

I'm glad that your son is with you. I hope that you too can be there to console each other.
You're going to be in shock for a while I'm sure. 50 years is nothing to sniff at. My parents were together for almost 60. I can only imagine that kind of Love.
I don't want to give you platitudes or religious cliches, but I can send you hugs. I'm glad you came here to do you this family has been so supportive of me through the years in my trying times as well

[LibinMo]

256. So, so sorry

[flying_wahini]

257. I'm so sorry. Even it you expect it "someday" it is always such a shock to the system.

Big hugs to you and hoping you find comfort in your lifetime of memories.

[tishaLA]

258. Sorry for your loss

I wish you comfort and peace in dealing with your grief.

[Violet_Crumble]

259. Big hugs from me. Losing someone suddenly when you think there's more time is the worst...

Hope you're doing as well as can be expected. Everyone feels differently. My dad died 18 months ago (a week before I'd been told he'd probs last another two years) and I couldn't cry, even though I cried like a baby for days after my doggo had to be put to sleep. Obviously I loved my dad far more deeply than my neurotic Chihuahua/foxy x, but dad had cancer and seeing him in so much pain every day wore me down. In the end I felt numb and angry that he died alone because they didn't even bother calling me when he started going downhill because I had covid.

It's the great memories and talking about him with my siblings and his grandkids that helps to keep him alive. I bet after nearly 50 years, there's going to be so many good memories you and your family will have...

[majdrfrtim]

260. Condolences

Grief is not a mental illness, though the Army certainly treated it as if it were one when I was in uniform. Grief can certainly *feel* like a mental illness, probably because every new grief has the potential to reawaken any -- or every -- old grief. Please be gentle with yourself, 1monster. Thank you for trusting us with your grief.

[ribrepin]

261. Condolences to you and your family

Be kind to yourself...even an expected death is a shock.

[TheKentuckian]

262. Great peace and comfort to you and yours.