Borowitz - Americans Switch from Washington Post Subscription to Gummies
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Hundreds of thousands of Americans who until recently subscribed to the Washington Post are now receiving a monthly supply of gummies instead, sources confirmed on Thursday.
WaPo owner Jeff Bezos has been “totally helpless” to slow the flight from his former newspaper to gummies, which consumers have deemed a more reliable product.
Carol Foyler, who worked at the WaPo’s cancellation hotline but quit out of “sheer exhaustion,” made the mistake of taking a similar position at a gummy fulfillment center.
“The volume of calls is just as high, and it’s the same people,” she said.
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/americans-switch-from-washington
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