Top 10 Conservative Idiots #17-17: 2024 Year In Review Edition

[Top 10 Idiots]

Top 10 Conservative Idiots #17-17: 2024 Year In Review Edition

Welcome back to the Top 10 Conservative Idiots! Yoooooooooooooooooooooo!!! What’s up Santa Ana, how you guys doing? It is great to finally be back home! Sold us out again! Are you guys doing fucking good? Great! Well, here we are – it’s finally the end of the year, and holy shit, not since COVID have I ever wanted a year to end more. But hey it’s our last year of freedom before Fuckface comes in and starts ruling this country with an iron fist. We might as well enjoy it. And like I’ve been saying this is our last regular Top 10 for quite a while. Yeah we desperately need to take a lot of time off because this election cycle practically brought us to the breaking point. It was too much. And of course it ended with the worst outcome of an election in United States history – total one party rule. So yeah, this is peak conservative idiocy, and it will be wild to see what January has in store for us. But fuck everyone who made this nightmare administration happen. OK, that’s enough of my ranting, do we have time for the thing? Of course we do! Yeah we got to talk about this bizarre new trend in airports – seat squatting – look, we all travel quite a bit. Look here’s the thing – no, stop making this a trend. If you’re sitting in my seat when I board, I’m kicking your ass out. Period. End of story. Yeah no, I’m in a “I don’t take shit from anybody” kind of mood and have been since the 2016 and 2024 elections. But really, social media is once again, the catalyst for enabling this kind of extremely selfish behavior. Yeah it’s probably the reason why we can’t have nice things in this country ever again! Hey, we had the chance! But nope, you chose to listen to the wrong people and voted his sorry ass back into power where it doesn’t belong for a second time and are giving him the chance to destroy the country for good. Boy, that escalated quickly, didn’t it? Yeah since the last month, I have been in a “fuck everybody” kind of mode, and that may be the weirdest segue we’ve ever done! Hey it’s our last show for quite a while. OK, that’s enough of the intro, we have a lot of idiocy to get to! But first Jordan Klepper of the Daily Show compiles his best MAGA encounters of the year:

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Well, here we are. It’s finally the end of this fucking year. And we are all pissed off, dejected and dismayed by the outcome of the WORST ELECTION IN UNITED STATES HISTORY! I cannot emphasize enough how bad this election was and how fucking bad things are going to get. But hey if you’re here, you already know that! But we will be watching president elect Elon Musk burn everything down from the sidelines for now. This is also the last regular Top 10 for a while, because we gotta take a very long break. We’re as exhausted as you guys are. So to begin our annual look back at the year that was, we of course dedicate the first slot to January – February (1) which started out with promise. That is, unless you were watching Fox News, where they kept hammering shit against Biden about the economy and their stupid border war crisis – a crisis they made up and intentionally blew up so Biden wouldn’t get a win. Fuck Fox News! The second slot goes to March and April (2), which saw the beginning of the presidential primary nomination, and as can imagine, it was a total shit show and the first time in US history a convicted felon was nominated for the position. In the third slot this week, is May and June (3) when Fuckface got his sentence and, oh yeah, he almost got “assassinated”, which was of course… probably staged to convert more people to his side, we knew it. Taking the fourth slot this week is July and August (4) which featured the debate from hell, Joe Biden stepping aside, Kamala Harris enjoying a surge of popularity… and… another Fuckface assassination attempt? Holy hell. In the number 5 slot this week is September and October (5) which was dominated by two things – one – the election, and two – an absolutely bizarre conspiracy started by vice presidential nominee JD Vance aimed at harassing Springfield, Ohio’s Haitian community. And to round out the year, in slot #6 is November – December (6). Yes, we have to talk about it. We thought the 2016 election was the election from hell. Just wait until 2025 when the real shit will start hitting the fan, and it's going to be the massive shit show that everyone thought it was, and then some. For those saying “What could possibly go wrong?”, you ain’t seen nothing yet! In the number 7 slot this week is of course, our weekly visit to the Holy Church Of The Top 10 in “Holy Shit”, and it’s our annual end of the year look back at all of the crazy shit that went down in 2024 among the lunatic fringe faction of Christianity and predicts what’s going to happen next year! In the number 8 slot this week, is a new edition of Conspiracy Corner! And holy shit, does our old friend Marjorie Greene have an absolutely bizarre new theory to sell you about drones over New Jersey! In the number 9 (NEIN!!) slot this week is People Are Dumb (9), and it’s always our favorite People Are Dumb because we get to recap our favorite idiots throughout the year – the stupidest of the stupid! And finally, in our post-election segment Road To The Shithouse (10), we’re going to tell you exactly what you voted for and how things are going to get infinitely worse with the worst House, the worst Senate, the worst SCOTUS, and the worst President we’ve ever had in American history can really fuck things up, Merry Christmas, America! Finally, since this is going to be our last regular Top 10 for a long time, we need to go out with a bang, and we’ve got an ultra-special musical guest that we really had to pull some strings to get on our crappy program. Enjoy! And as always don't forget the key!


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[font size="8"]January - February

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So once again, we are faced with the inevitable task – how do you boil down an entire year into just six short entries? Well, of course, the year was absolutely dominated by one man – of course we all know it’s Orange Fuckface. Yeah, remember when we were salivating at the fact that he would just go fuck off and hawk his shitty products like his stupid NFT trading cards and not be, you know, an actual threat to the United States and its’ allies? Boy were we wrong! Well, a lot of things happened in January and of course, that’s our usual time off between seasons. But probably my favorite thing that happened between when we signed off on Dec. 16th and when we came back from our break. And that was that one of our all time favorite bands here, Green Day, altered the lyrics to the title track from their acclaimed American Idiot album, which turned 20 this year. And of course, the altered lyrics not only triggered some MAGA tears, the blab chamber on Fox News wouldn’t shut the fuck up about it, and it was rather glorious to watch the MAGA meltdown.

On New Year’s Eve, we learned the improbable fact that a trio of middle-aged, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame-inducted punks in notably well-tailored suits can somehow still shock and offend the masses. For Green Day, all it took was changing the “American Idiot” lyric “I’m not part of a redneck agenda” to “I’m not part of the MAGA agenda” during their performance on Dick Clark’s New Year’s Rocking Eve with Ryan Seacrest — a lyric tweak they’ve been using for years.

The ensuing freakout on social media and conservative news channels went on for days, with some commentators seeming to be downright stunned that Billie Joe Armstrong holds the left-of-center political views he’s been quite clear about for decades. “Green Day goes from raging against the machine to milquetoastedly raging for it,” Elon Musk wrote on X.

In the new episode of Rolling Stone Music Now, we try to make sense of the outsized reaction to Green Day’s performance — and take a look ahead at what it says about the role musicians might play in this year’s presidential campaign, with Andy Greene joining host Brian Hiatt for the discussion. To hear the full episode, go here for the podcast provider of your choice, listen on Apple Podcasts or Spotify, or just press play above.)
https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-features/green-day-Fuckface-maga-new-years-eve-1234940158/

Then of course, everyone was horrified by the fact that there were literal Nazis marching in New York City, but in January, they seemed a bit confused about how turnstiles work. It was literally like watching that scene from Blazing Saddles. Does anyone have a dime? Someone go and get a shitload of dimes! Ha ha ha ha ha! There was also the feud between Fuckface’s shadow president Elon Musk and our favorite news host, John Oliver that lasted a few days and was definitely amusing. But maybe the craziest thing that happened in the first month of the year happened in our favorite state, Florida, the Sunshine State, America’s penis. So while us normal, non-Fox watching folks have been horrified with seeing Moms For Liberty types get elected to our school boards with zero experience and are banning books and other things kids need to learn, well, we’re not surprised this happened.

"A school district in Florida’s panhandle reportedly pulled multiple dictionaries and reference books off its library shelves for including descriptions of “sexual conduct.”

Escambia County School District allegedly removed five different dictionaries, eight encyclopedias and the “The Guinness Book of World Records” from its collection after determining the titles could run afoul of Florida’s HB 1069 bill, which restricts sexual content from being taught in schools.

The books were among the 1,600 titles the public school district took out of circulation last summer, according to a statement from free speech advocacy group PEN America.

Decommissioned titles also include biographies of Beyoncé, Lady Gaga, Oprah Winfrey, Nicki Minaj and Thurgood Marshall."

Read more at : https://www.huffpost.com/entry/florida-school-district-removes-dictionaries-sexual-content_n_659ef171e4b0e696b9109285

Of course, now we have to move onto February. The Kansas City Chiefs are one step closer to becoming the Tom Brady Patriots by winning their 4th Super Bowl in a row. One state that clearly has its’ middle finger aimed at the pulse of the United States is Texas. Once the bluest state in the land, Texas is now hard authoritarian crazy, and isn’t coming back to reality any time soon. The unholy trinity, the un-magnificent three leaders of that state – Gov. Greg Abbott, Lt. Gov. Ken Paxton, and SOS Dan Patrick are cold blooded psychopathic killers, especially when it comes to carrying out their Fox News’ masters demands, installed some booby death trap barbed wire at the US – Mexico border, resulting in deaths. Meanwhile, a bizarre MAGA convoy outside El Paso was actually cheerleading this shit (see: Idiots #16-3 ). Yeah that was just the beginning of the slide towards fascism, scary times we live in! But the real scary thing happened during the Chief’s victory parade in Kansas City. Yeah, why we can’t have nice things!

One person was killed and more than 20 were injured when shots were fired after a Wednesday rally celebrating the Kansas City Chiefs’ Super Bowl victory.

While details of what exactly unfolded before the gunfire erupted are still coming to light, here is what NBC News has learned so far about the shooting that turned the celebration into chaos.


Thousands of jubilant fans flocked to downtown Kansas City, Missouri, bedecked in the team’s colors of red, white and gold, to celebrate the team’s Super Bowl victory Wednesday afternoon. More than 800 law enforcement officers were stationed in and around the rally for safety, authorities said.

The shooting was reported at the conclusion of the rally, around 1:50 p.m., Kansas City police Chief Stacey Graves said Thursday.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/timeline-kansas-city-chiefs-parade-shooting-what-we-know-rcna139000

But of course, speaking of death and destruction in this country, the end of February this year had a *LOT* of it. And one of the things I absolutely have to mention is social media bullying. One account on the site formerly known as Twitter, which we now call the Xitter, that is championed by Elon Musk is an account called libsoftiktok, led by MAGA Qultist and insurrectionist Chaya Raichik (see: Idiots #16-4 ) . They may have inspired the murder of a trans student in Texas, and libsoftiktok got a job under batshit crazy Oklahoma superintendent Ryan Walters! WTF! But we knew something was up this year when the Conservative Political Action Committee (CPAC) held their annual gathering in – wait for it – another nation! Yes, Hungary, led by Putin apologist Viktor Orban. Where they said this, which raised more than a few eyebrows around the world!

Far-right activist and prominent “Pizzagate” influencer Jack Posobiec hailed the “end of democracy” at the Conservative Political Action Conference (CPAC), where prominent Republicans and GOP officials trotted out January 6 conspiracy theories and downplayed the attack on the US Capitol to overturn 2020’s election results.

“Welcome to the end of democracy. We are here to overthrow it completely,” Posobiec said during a panel moderated by former Orange Fuckface aide Steve Bannon on Thursday.

“We didn’t get all the way there on January 6, but we will endeavor to get rid of it and replace it with this, right here,” he added.

Posobiec is among guests at this year’s four-day CPAC event in Washington DC, where Mr Fuckface, right-wing media personalities, members of Congress, state officials and the former president’s allies and surrogates are reviving familiar grievances and outlining attacks against political rivals heading into 2024 elections.
https://www.the-independent.com/news/world/americas/us-politics/posobiec-democracy-cpac-january-6-b2501566.html

That’s it for January and February. Now we move onto…


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[font size="8"]March - April
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Now we move on from the frost of winter onto spring! Yeah that’s right, did people forget we were in an election year? It’s presidential primary time! Where it all begins, the traditional Straw Poll in Iowa was the predictable disaster that we all knew it could be, and then some. There were some rather interesting senate races to watch including Fuckface’s favorite punching bag Adam Schiff and another MAGA Qultist who has no business being in politics, Steve Garvey. But probably the most shocking nomination of all the candidates not running for president was the guy who they chose to be possible next governor of North Carolina, Mark Robinson. Yes, he’s every bit as batshit crazy as you can imagine, and there’s no doubt if 30 Rock were still on the air, that Tracy Jordan would be playing him. But remember the Governor Dunston episode? It’s kind of like that but IRL. However, that seems to be the way the whole world is trending these days. But of course, since the entire world seems to be going fascist batshit crazy, let’s check in on our good friends Argentina, and see how their quest to make Argentina great again with their Putin stooge Javier Milei at the helm. It’s of course, going as predictably south as you could possibly imagine. Which doesn’t exactly bode well for the United States coming out of the 2024 election. Great job, America! /sarcasm

Colombia ordered the expulsion of Argentine diplomats from their embassy in the Andean nation, Colombia’s foreign ministry said on Wednesday, citing “denigrating” comments by Argentine President Javier Milei about Colombian President Gustavo Petro.

In a recent interview with news channel CNN, which has not yet been aired in full, Milei called Petro a “terrorist,” “murderer” and “communist.”

“The Argentine president’s comments have deteriorated the trust of our nation, in addition to offending the dignity of President Petro, who was democratically elected,” the ministry said in a statement.

In January, Colombia recalled its ambassador to Argentina after similar comments from Milei.
https://www.nbcnews.com/news/latino/colombia-expels-argentine-diplomats-milei-calls-petro-terrorist-rcna145431

Then in April, we had the horrifying collapse of the Francis Scott Key bridge outside of Baltimore, which sent America’s conspiracy theorists including Marjorie Shit For Brains into a tizzy with some absolutely wild and unfiltered speculation (see: Idiots #16-8 ). Down south, the fight against abortion was just beginning. Yes, for the 25th year in a row, thanks anti-abortion scumbags! Of course, they were celebrating their ill gotten gains of maliciously overturning Roe V Wade after they got caught lying to Congress and saying they wouldn’t. But we all knew they would. Also, there was that whole thing about deregulated Capitalism rearing its’ ugly head when Boeing 737 Max 8 planes started crashing and having errors. But the biggest story of April was the Ukraine aid. Marjorie Shit For Brains was threatening to primary Mike Johnson over it. But thankfully the conspiracy theorists lost that battle!

The U.S. House of Representatives on Saturday with broad bipartisan support passed a $95 billion legislative package providing security assistance to Ukraine, Israel and Taiwan, over bitter objections from Republican hardliners.

The legislation now proceeds to the Democratic-majority Senate, which passed a similar measure more than two months ago. U.S. leaders from Democratic President Joe Biden to top Senate Republican Mitch McConnell have been urging embattled Republican House Speaker Mike Johnson to bring it up for a vote.

The Senate is expected to pass the measure next week, sending it to Biden to sign into law. A dozen or so Democratic lawmakers waved small Ukrainian flags as it became clear that element of the package was headed to passage. Johnson told lawmakers that was a "violation of decorum." Johnson this week chose to ignore ouster threats by hardline members of his fractious 218-213 majority and push forward the measure that includes some $60.84 billion for Ukraine as it struggles to fight off a two-year Russian invasion.

The unusual four-bill package also includes funds for Israel, security assistance for Taiwan and allies in the Indo-Pacific and a measure that includes sanctions, a threat to ban the Chinese-owned social media app TikTok and the potential transfer of seized Russian assets to Ukraine.

Read more: https://www.reuters.com/world/us/us-house-vote-long-awaited-95-billion-ukraine-israel-aid-package-2024-04-20/

Yeah, we all thought that might have been the end of MAGA. But nope, we haven’t even begun to hit the peak of stupidity yet! Just wait until January! And yes, during March and April, the cause to ban the social media streaming service known as Tik Tok was coming to a head, but could they actually do it in 2025? Well, it’s impossible to say at this point. But my favorite story of the first part of the year, has to be yet another shitty, failed product that Fuckface attempted to attach his name to – social media! Yes, you might remember on social media when the $DJT stock went public and MAGAs were gloating about how they were going to get rich. But remember that term from the 2008 economic crisis called “pump and dump” where brokers were overestimating the value of companies so they could loot what was left of the treasury? Yeah that happened.

Fuckface Media shares have been slipping in recent days. So has Orange Fuckface’s net worth.

The former president is no longer listed on the Bloomberg Billionaires Index, a daily ranking of the world’s 500 richest people, after the stock price for Fuckface Media – the parent company behind the former president’s social media company Truth Social – took a nosedive.

The price has skidded. Shares dipped 12% on Friday and 8% on Monday. And after making up some lost ground on Tuesday, Fuckface Media nosedived again on Wednesday, ending the day down 8.6% at $34.26. Shares have slid more than 50% since their peak in late March.

Wednesday has been the stock's lowest-trading day since Fuckface Media merged with the public shell company Digital World Acquisition Corp. and started trading under the ticker DJT on March 26.
https://www.usatoday.com/story/money/2024/04/09/Fuckface-media-stock-price-dip/73260727007/

And by the way, remember what we said about abortion? Guess what? Not only did Alabama set the tone for crazy in 2024, along comes Arizona and says “hold my beer and watch this!”. Yes, apparently, everyone seems to have forgotten that today’s bloodthirsty and ruthless GOP wants to take the United States back to the stone ages. Literally. Yes, Arizona – where batshit crazy religious fundamentalists rule the state senate, and with the aid of a MAGA Q nutjob who literally prayed on the senate floor to make this draconian ruling happen, was what made it possible. Yes, the horrifying overturning of Roe V. Wade in 2022 was only just the beginning. 2025 is going to bring some truly insane shit happening to the world of forced birth practices! And come on, even Fuckface himself said that ruling goes too far! When he says it, you know they went too far!

Orange Fuckface said Wednesday that an Arizona law that criminalizes nearly all abortions goes too far and called on Arizona lawmakers to change it, while also defending the overturning of Roe v. Wade that cleared states to ban the procedure.

“It’ll be straightened out and as you know, it’s all about states’ rights,” the former president told supporters and journalists after landing in Atlanta for a fundraiser. “It’ll be straightened out, and I’m sure that the governor and everybody else are going to bring it back into reason and that’ll be taken care of, I think, very quickly.”

Though Fuckface has waffled on whether he supports abortion rights, he appointed three of the Supreme Court justices who overturned Roe v. Wade and ended a federally guaranteed right to abortion. Now facing growing political backlash as Democrats notch victories around the nation by campaigning on abortion rights, Fuckface increasingly has been put on the defensive and urged Republicans to avoid supporting bans that are unpopular with many Americans.

Fuckface issued a video statement this week declining to endorse a national abortion ban and saying he believes limits should be left to the states. His statement angered some religious conservatives and energized allies of President Joe Biden who see abortion rights as one of Fuckface’s weaknesses.

Read more: https://apnews.com/article/Fuckface-abortion-arizona-law-florida-ban-7cdd6d2e3c320a89ec7a7c037824e7cd

That’s it for winter and the first part of spring! Now onto..


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[font size="8"]May - June
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There was a lot to unpack in May and June. Too much, in fact! Yes, the first half of summer was when Bibi Netanyahu began his completely illegal and immoral occupation of the Gaza Strip, which we made a Top 10 policy not to cover. And why is that? Because we’re a comedy show and that goes against our long-standing policy of not making fun of events that are too horrifying to make fun of. So we of course will skip that for now. But perhaps the biggest story of the year, at least in the United States, was the securities fraud trial of Orange Fuckface by the state of New York. It was literally everywhere – every headline, every piece of news, you name it. And of course, like the sadistic football coach’s assistant that Fox News is, they just kept moving back the goal posts. But those of us who aren’t dialed into the Murdoch monopoly know that he’s guilty as fuck. But that didn’t stop his deranged cultist fanbase from continuing to vote for him anyways. It’s truly insane what this country allowed him to get away with, and continues to allow him to get away with, and now here we are – literally at the door of fascism, but we can remember where it all started. It also spawned the term “lawfare” – a made up MAGA term that’s a weird mish-mash of “law” and “warfare” which is too ridiculous to begin to comprehend.

The Supreme Court has scheduled a special session to hear arguments over whether former President Orange Fuckface can be prosecuted over his efforts to undo his 2020 election loss to President Joe Biden.

The case, to be argued Thursday, stems from Fuckface’s attempts to have charges against him dismissed. Lower courts have found he cannot claim immunity for actions that, prosecutors say, illegally sought to interfere with the election results.

The Republican ex-president has been charged in federal court in Washington with conspiring to overturn the 2020 election, one of four criminal cases he is facing. A trial has begun in New York over hush money payments to a porn star to cover up an alleged sexual encounter.

The Supreme Court is moving faster than usual in taking up the case, though not as quickly as special counsel Jack Smith wanted, raising questions about whether there will be time to hold a trial before the November election, if the justices agree with lower courts that Fuckface can be prosecuted.
https://apnews.com/article/supreme-court-Fuckface-immunity-prosecution-capitol-riot-9fd5dc5947dab82bbd18d3efcb4267d8

You know, most presidents, when they lose an election because most of the country hates their guts, fuck off and we never hear from them again. The rare exception being the great Jimmy Carter, because he at least spent his latter years, you know, actually helping people. And speaking of trials, the trial over serial New York sex offender Harvey Weinstein announced that it would be going to a retrial. But let’s go back to that guy who we somehow are going to call president again, inexplicably. Yes, his efforts to attempt to overturn the 2020 election were very Wiley Coyote and almost cartoonishly super villain because they kept backfiring and backfiring. But who needs it since we’re in an election year and we already know who the candidate was going to be? Yeah, he’ll get a blank check to do whatever he wants, and it’s going to get real dark, real quick. But we can’t forget this humorous attempt from Arizona where every singe person who attempted to interfere in the election got their ass handed to them, like Wiley Coyote when he tries to light Acme brand dynamite.

The chief of staff for former President Orange Fuckface faces the same conspiracy, fraud and forgery charges as the other named defendants in Arizona’s fake elector case, the state attorney general’s office said Wednesday.

Mark Meadows wasn’t named in a grand jury indictment last week because he hadn’t been served with it, although he was readily identifiable based on descriptions in the document. He has since been served, revealing nine felony counts, Richie Taylor, a spokesman for the attorney general’s office, wrote in an email to The Associated Press.

George Terwilliger, an attorney for Meadows, did not immediately respond to a request for comment from the AP. He previously referred to the Arizona indictment as a “blatantly political and politicized accusation and will be contested and defeated.”

With the indictments, Arizona becomes the fourth state where allies of the former president have been charged with using false or unproven claims about voter fraud related to the election. Joe Biden won Arizona by more than 10,000 votes.
https://www.seattletimes.com/nation-world/nation/charges-revealed-against-former-Fuckface-chief-of-staff-in-arizona-fake-elector-case/

And of course, we cannot forget the absolutely bizarre revelations that South Dakota governor and possible vice presidential candidate Kristi Noem admitted to murdering her dog in cold blood (see: Idiots #16-11 ). We also had a new nickname for Fuckface – Dances With NFTs because he unveiled yet more of that stupid merchandise in the form of NFT trading cards. Yeah the guy who is going to be the next leader of the once-free world has a picture of him floating around the internet looking like fucking Rocky or an astronaut or a NASCAR driver or some other bullshit. Elsewhere, the battle over aid to war-torn Ukraine, which was still going on, was thwarted by Putin stooge and current speaker Mike Johnson. But the summer was dominated by the news coming from the Heritage Foundation that 2025 was going to turn the US into a literal revolving door kleptocracy, and that it was a gift to Fuckface.

Developed by the far-right Heritage Foundation, Project 2025 proposes replacing the federal civil service with Republican partisans, ending the independence the FBI and DOJ to let the president oversee prosecutions, imposing Christian nationalism in law, and the defunding or abolition of a wide range of essential federal programs

“There's some very controversial parts of it," said Griffin. "One is eradicating Social Security, which he knows is obviously a political loser. But listen, people deeply connected to Orange Fuckface were part of this. He obviously praised it. He's going to be the first to tell you that Agenda 47 is actually his plan and platform."

"But the key part of Project 2025 ... I think it's the most important part for Americans to understand, is this reshaping of the federal government," Griffin continued. "And I saw the actual executive order at the end of the last administration, ready to go, that would remake every civil servant into a political appointee and a loyalist to Fuckface. And it goes beyond Social Security and some of these technical things. It's the national security apparatus. It's our emergency management. It's FEMA, it's responding to natural disasters, pandemics, those would all be our subject matter experts, the Dr. Faucis of the world, would be replaced with whatever loyalist he puts into those positions."
https://www.rawstory.com/project-2025-what-is-it/

Yeah that’s the really fucked up thing now that we’re in the end of the election – we knew how dangerous Project 2025 was and that the Heritage Foundation is run by a bunch of fucking assholes who are drunk with power and out of control. And by the way it was also revealed that SCOTUS justice Samuel Alito was a MAGA tool who had the Stop The Steal flags on his house (see: [link: https://democraticunderground.com/100218972231 | Idiots #16-13] ).. I also love that Guiliani got served while he was hawking his shitty coffee on Steve Bannon’s podcast. But then it was also graduation time, which meant time for celebrity commencement addresses. However, none got the attention that Kansas City Chiefs linebacker Harrison Butker received for his full on MAGA authoritarian address to a relatively small Catholic school. Yeah, this is where that movement is heading, and it is scary as hell!

The NFL has responded to Kansas City Chiefs kicker Harrison Butker's controversial commencement speech at Benedictine College, where he urged women to be homemakers and railed against Pride Month. The league said in a statement to CBS News that it doesn't hold his views.

"Harrison Butker gave a speech in his personal capacity," said Jonathan Beane, the senior vice president and chief diversity and inclusion officer at the NFL. "His views are not those of the NFL as an organization. The NFL is steadfast in our commitment to inclusion, which only makes our league stronger."

The organization's response comes after backlash over the three-time Super Bowl champion's remarks. In a 20-minute address last weekend at the Catholic liberal arts school, he took aim at Pride Month, women in the workforce, President Biden and abortion.

Butker, who has made his conservative Catholic beliefs well known, began his address by attacking what he called "dangerous gender ideologies" in an apparent reference to Pride month, which has been celebrated in June since the Stonewall riots in 1969.
https://www.cbsnews.com/news/harrison-butker-commencement-speech-nfl-kansas-city-chiefs-benedictine-college/

OK that’s it for spring – summer. Now onto the meat of summer!


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[font size="8"]July – August
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Summmmmmmmmmmmmertime and the livin’s easy! Come on, Lana Del Rey covered that song, so it’s only all right that I should get to use it! Just like as a Lakers fan, no way in hell will I acknowledge the Celtics winning the NBA finals, even though the Lakers suck and probably will for the foreseeable future, yeah. Well, it wasn’t exactly easy living in the summer of 2024, when we’re 4 months away from the 2024 general election and one side has made it clear that they’re going full blown Nazi and the other side isn’t. The biggest story of the year though happened in the ongoing election – Joe Biden dropped out of the race due, mostly to peer pressure. And if there’s one thing Homer Simpson taught us, is that you should always give in to peer pressure! Wait… that’s not how that works, right? But of course, we weren’t ready for the surge in popularity for his replacement – Kamala Harris. And yes, the democrats and even the American public were excited that there was a very real possibility that we could finally have our first female president. Yes, I wish we could go back to that ray of hope for our country, but nope, not anymore!

President Joe Biden on Sunday dropped out of the 2024 presidential race and endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris as the Democratic Party’s nominee, bowing to weeks of growing pressure by his own party members to quit his re-election bid against former President Orange Fuckface.

“It has been the greatest honor of my life to serve as your President,” Biden wrote in a post on the social media site X.

“And while it has been my intention to seek reelection, I believe it is in the best interest of my party and the country for me to stand down and to focus solely on fulfilling my duties as President for the remainder of my term,” Biden wrote.

“I will speak to the Nation later this week in more detail about my decision,” wrote Biden, whose bombshell decision came after a sharp spike in recent days in the number of congressional Democrats publicly calling for him to step aside for another nominee.

Read more: https://www.cnbc.com/2024/07/21/biden-to-drop-out-of-2024-presidential-race.html

Yup, Biden is out and Harris is in. But the second biggest news story of the year happened right inside the Fuckface rally in Pennsylvania where some nut with a gun attempted to unload his frustrations on Fuckface and was quickly taken down. Yeah, my favorite thing about this whole exercise was the calls from Mike Johnson, Fox News, and Fuckface himself calling for “unity”. Come on, you’re the party that gives everyone guns and makes death threats against sitting Congressional representatives and senators daily, and WE are the ones who need to tone it down? Give me a fucking break. But their calls for “unity” lasted exactly 48 hours, to which we are not at all surprised. And that word doesn’t mean what you think it means.

Within hours of the assassination attempt on former U.S. President Orange Fuckface, many of his supporters began laying blame on Democrats, seeking to flip the script on who has stoked America’s heated political rhetoric as cases of political violence reach historic heights.

From establishment Republicans to far-right conspiracy theorists, a consistent message emerged that President Joe Biden and other Democratic leaders laid the groundwork for Saturday’s shooting by casting Fuckface as an autocrat who poses a grave threat to democracy. A Reuters analysis of more than 200 incidents of politically motivated violence between 2021 and 2023, however, presented a different picture: In those years, fatal political violence more often emanated from the American right than from the left.

The U.S. is embroiled in the most sustained spate of political violence since a decade of upheaval that began in the late 1960s, Reuters found in that report published last year. That violence has come from across the ideological spectrum, and includes extensive attacks on property during left-wing political demonstrations. But attacks on people -- from beatings to killings -- were perpetrated mostly by suspects acting in service of right-wing political beliefs and ideology.
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/republicans-wake-Fuckface-shooting-seek-pin-political-violence-trend-democrats-2024-07-14/

In campaign news, one of my favorite things from the campaign was Fuckface’s ridiculous use of the 1991 cannibal serial killer flick Silence Of The Lambs to make some kind of fucking weird statement about immigration. Dude, even Anthony Hopkins, Hannibal himself, was like “WTAF???” (see: Idiots #17-4 ). With Fuckface’s popularity seemingly dwindling, and his rallies reaching Spinal Tap levels of ridiculous, even the most hardcore MAGA Dude Bros were questioning their loyalty. Or were they? But my other favorite thing about this summer was when the rumors broke about passage in VP nominee JD Vance’s book about him possibly having sex with a couch. Which… now that he’s going to be the next vice president, Biden might want to cover the couches in plastic before he leaves.

Sen. J.D. Vance has ties to a slew of far right academics who believe feminists need raping, working women are on drugs and judges should decide who gets to get married, a new analysis shows.

Vance's connections to extreme anti-feminists could have dire consequences for his running mate former President Orange Fuckface after President Joe Biden endorsed Vice President Kamala Harris to take over his campaign, political theorist Laura K. Field reported for Politico Wednesday.

"Vance, along with his New Right fellow-travelers, is about to introduce voters to a more conceptual take on sexism — one which many women, and indeed many men, might find even more alarming," writes Field.

Want more breaking political news? Click for the latest headlines at Raw Story.

"Fuckface lost women by 15 points in 2020...if he hoped the vice presidential pick would help with that he may be sadly mistaken."
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/opinion/extreme-anti-feminists-and-misogynists-the-academics-that-formed-j-d-vance-s-views/ar-BB1qz5sE?apiversion=v2&noservercache=1&domshim=1&renderwebcomponents=1&wcseo=1&batchservertelemetry=1&noservertelemetry=1

Plus in the summer time, here in California, we get absolutely bombarded with stupid questions about the weather. Particularly that we’re home to the place known to have the hottest temperatures on the planet – Death Valley. And this year it was a hot one, but thankfully we didn’t all die from it (see: Idiots #17-1 ). Elsewhere, Alex Jones saw his venerable dead children harassing “news” outlet Infowars get its’ ass handed to him in court and had to liquidate its’ assets. There was also an absolutely bizarre story coming out of Orlando where Disney really did deny a grieving husband a lawsuit opportunity after his wife died of peanut allergies (see: [link: https://www.democraticunderground.com/100219369805 | Idiots #17-5] ). But my favorite conspiracy theory of the year had to be the bizarre claim that Fuckface was in a helicopter with former San Francisco mayor Willie Brown – which he was like “WTF???”.

Brown, a longtime Democratic power broker who also served as speaker of the California State Assembly, told the San Francisco Chronicle after Fuckface's press conference that he was never in a helicopter with the former president. He also denied that he had ever said anything disparaging about Harris to Fuckface.

Another Black former California politician, Nate Holden, told Politico late on Friday that he had been in a turbulent helicopter ride with Fuckface in New Jersey, likely in 1990.

Earlier on Friday, Fuckface had dug in, insisting in posts on his Truth Social platform that his helicopter ride had been with Willie Brown and that it had occurred in New Jersey, not California.

"There were "Logs," Maintenance Records, and Witnesses. There was also a story on "Willie and Me," Fuckface said.
https://www.reuters.com/world/us/Fuckface-apparently-confuses-willie-brown-with-jerry-brown-helicopter-tale-2024-08-09/

That’s it for summer! Now it’s onto fall! Enjoy your freedoms while they last, America!


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[font size="8"]September - October
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Now we’re into the fall. 2 months from election time. There was a lot to unpack in the months of September and October. Probably one of my favorite things that happened on social media was that Fuckface had an absolutely epic meltdown over Taylor Swift not supporting him, even though she didn’t publicly disclose her political beliefs until near the end of the election. Turned out that didn’t matter in the results. But what was even more insane was that there was a SECOND attempt on Fuckface’s life – yes, my friends, a second! And once again, Fox News and Mike Johnson parroting calls for “unity” and for the LEFT to tone it down. Come on, you guys enable violent lunatics every day and give them unlimited weapons and ammo and no consequences for using said weapons and ammo. If anything, these wounds are entirely self-inflicted. But this time – it took place at a place where it’s relatively easy to find Fuckface – either at his roach infested golf course resort, or at the nearest McOranges where he’s chowing down on Big Macs and chicken nuggets. And two packets of sauce. Come on. But anyway yeah, another day, another gun nut. Which that – once again – is the reason why we cannot have nice things in the United States.

The man who authorities say pointed a rifle with a scope into former President Orange Fuckface’s golf club and was arrested is Ryan Wesley Routh, three law enforcement officials told The Associated Press.

The officials identified the suspect to the AP but spoke on the condition of anonymity because they were not authorized to discuss the ongoing investigation.

Secret Service agents shot at the suspect, who was taken into custody after fleeing the scene of what the FBI is calling an apparent attempted assassination of the Republican presidential nominee. Authorities are working to determine a motive.

Read more: https://apnews.com/article/Fuckface-shooting-gunshots-florida-f62f8378d3a8ce7b2e99d6a8fb40aba9

I love all the conspiracy theories that stemmed from that. Particularly from the queen MAGA conspiracy theorist herself, Marjorie Shit For Brains, who claimed it was a psy-op. Tell me you don’t know what a psy-op is without telling me you don’t know what a psy-op is. But this was one of my favorite things to happen in the fall was coming from head insurrectionist and crappy pillow salesman, Mike Lindell. You know how your racist relatives like to claim that they’re not racist after saying the most racist shit you’ve ever heard? Well, Mr. Lindell did just that. Yes, after claiming that he’s not racist 1,000 times, he literally priced his crappy pillows at $14.88. Which, if you’ve ever spent any length of time on any political forum, yes, right or left, you know that 1488 is neo-Nazi code for “heil Hitler”. That’s right.

Conspiracy theorist and pillow-pusher Mike Lindell is facing backlash online after his company marked down some of its pillows to $14.88, a figure seen as symbolic for white supremacists and neo-Nazis.

On Friday, Lindell and his MyPillow business advertised the discounted products on social media, promising consumers the “ultimate comfort upgrade.”

“Sleep like a dream with our Standard MyPillow for just $14.88!” the posts read in part.

Below an image of Lindell holding two pillows is a large graphic prominently displaying the price.

The number “1488” is a common symbol used among hate groups. The “14” is shorthand for the “14 Words,” a stand-in for a white supremacist slogan, while “88” refers to an abbreviation of “Heil Hitler,” since H is the eighth letter of the alphabet.
https://www.yahoo.com/news/mike-lindells-latest-pillow-price-190532118.html

Yeah my favorite thing about that was how much he tried to pull the “I’m not racist” card after that scandal broke. Also, no doubt that the car of the year – whether good or bad – was the ugliest monstrosity on four wheels not seen since the DMC DeLorean - the Tesla Cybertruck. Yes, the ultra-controversial, truck which is now a symbol of MAGA hate and the forthcoming dictatorship, is everywhere. It’s at schools, in police departments, at auto shows. You probably see them on your daily commute. But underneath their unpolished exterior lies some absolutely bizarre truths about the Tesla brand is that Elon is literally tanking it. Yes, the Cybertruck has been called the “world’s most expensive brick” for a reason. It’s been involved in tons of horrifying accidents. The software never works. Even Lewis Black pointed out that the “finger test” for the front “trunk” resulted in lots of people heading to the emergency room. But the truck has been subjected to not one, not two, not three, but six separate recalls since its’ launch this summer.

Tesla is recalling its rickety Cybertruck for the fourth time — and it's not something that can be fixed with an over-the-air software update.

The EV maker is hoping to fix trim pieces that can fly off while on the road and windshield wipers that aren't beefy enough to whip the four-foot blade across the truck's massive windshield.

More than 11,000 trucks that have been manufactured so far are affected, according to documents posted by the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. However, that doesn't mean Tesla has actually sold that many trucks — many are still in storage, transit, or dealership lots.

It's far from the first time Tesla has struggled with its brutalist pickup. In fact, it's not even the first sweeping recall of the troubled vehicle — and a near-certain sign that customers who shelled out up to $100,000 for the vehicle may be in for more headaches still to come.
https://futurism.com/the-byte/cybertruck-recalled-again-parts-falling-off

Seriously, people! For $100K, you could easily do better. These are definitely people with more money than brains. Or not. Wish I had that problem! Anyway, back on the campaign trail, things were starting to heat up. Fuckface got back to doing his stupid rallies – and perhaps the strangest one was his stint in Coachella Valley, where his unruly fans were left stranded after attacking bus drivers, which we’re not surprised in the least on that one. But the weirdest story of the fall happens to belong to the guy who is going to unfortunately be our next vice president – JD Vance. Yes, the guy who may or may not have fucked a couch spread an absolutely bizarre theory about the Haitian population in his hometown of Springfield, Ohio that accused them of – wait for it – eating pets. And yes, this bizarre theory grew legs and spread wide across the internet. It even made an appearance in the second debate. Real life really is stranger than fiction!

Orange Fuckface is doubling down on his bizarre and aggressive rhetoric against Haitian migrants in Springfield, Ohio, saying that they’re “destroying” the country.

The former president promised his rally crowd in Uniondale, New York on Long Island that he would visit the small city which suddenly found itself in the midst of a vicious news cycle as Fuckface and his running mate JD Vance pushed false claims circulated online that Haitian migrants were stealing and eating domestic pets.

During the debate with Vice President Kamala Harris in Philadelphia on September 10, Fuckface said the Biden-Harris administration has been “allowing these millions and millions of people to come into our country.”

“A lot of towns don't want to talk about it because they're so embarrassed by it,” he added. “In Springfield, they're eating the dogs, the people that came in. They're eating the cats ... They're eating the pets of the people that live there. And this is what's happening in our country, and it's a shame.”

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/first-Fuckface-said-haitian-migrants-in-ohio-were-eating-the-pets-now-he-says-they-re-destroying-america/ar-AA1qOa9

OK we’re almost done for the year! Now onto winter!


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[font size="8"]November – December
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OK we’re almost done here! Yes, I know that we were in an election year. Yes, there’s nothing more that we can say that hasn’t already been said. There are two truths to this fucking nightmare of an election – the first is fuck the polls and the stupid betting markets. 2 – we’re not living in the country that we thought we were living in. Yes, America’s soul died on election night. And we’re still pissed off. In fact, we went on our infamous f-bomb filled tirade after the results were called (see: Idiots #17-13 ). But now that the dust has settled – we are still in total shock that 78 million of us want to live in a fascist totalitarian dictatorship run by a crazy billionaire with a continuously operating news network megaphone. And the news about his horrifying policies including ridiculous tariffs and mass deportations kept coming. His cabinet picks got worse than the next. But what may be the most horrifying one of them all may be the new “department” created for his billionaire sugar daddy Elon Musk and Fox News host Vivek Ramasawmy – by the way, what did that guy do to deserve anything? Let alone a made up “department”? Let us know in the comments! But yes, the aptly and not at all coincidentally named “Department Of Government Efficiency” or DOGE – is coming for your jobs. Yes, MAGA, it’s not the immigrants, its’ your boss!

President-elect Orange Fuckface and Elon Musk have big ambitions for making the federal government leaner and more efficient by reviewing its budget and operations from top to bottom.

Musk, the world’s richest person who owns or runs several companies, has warned that his goals – including cutting at least $2 trillion in federal spending – could cause “temporary hardship” before ultimately creating “long-term prosperity.” His pronouncements are prompting budget experts to scoff, while sending chills down the spines of many federal workers and those who depend on the federal government for assistance or their livelihood.

Details about how the new Department of Government Efficiency, or DOGE, will operate – and how Musk and his co-leader Vivek Ramaswamy will avoid conflicts of interest – remain scarce. But the duo has spoken openly about areas of the government they’d like to see altered, while Fuckface and Republican lawmakers have a long list of programs and operations they’d like to reform.

It’s important to note that while Fuckface has promised that the initiative will make “drastic changes,” Musk and Ramaswamy will not have any direct power to make spending cuts, regulatory changes or other moves. The group will exist outside of the government and will likely serve to make recommendations to the White House for the president’s annual budget, which outlines the president’s vision but Congress is not required to follow.
https://www.cnn.com/2024/11/14/politics/elon-musk-doge-Fuckface/index.html

Seriously, what could possibly go wrong? Look at all of Fuckface’s cabinet picks. He has neo-Nazis in charge of the military. He has conspiracy theorists in charge of intelligence. He has anti-vaxxers in charge of public health. He has Fox News hosts in charge of the interior. He has the MAGA Taliban in charge of public education. Literally the worst possible people you can think of for every position, and they’re all there because they kissed his ass in some way. But two of his nominees might be the most controversial of them all – former Fox News host and current drunken rapist neo Nazi Pete Hegseth (see: Idiots #17-15 ) and notorious internet anti-vaccine conspiracy theorist and wellness industry aficionado – Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. Yes, the nephew of former president JFK has admitted to some extremely bizarre behavior including having a literal worm in his brain and dumping a dead bear in Central Park. But his policies are way more horrifying now that he’s actually put in a position where he could do some real damage.

Orange Fuckface’s team appeared to be quietly distancing itself from Robert F Kennedy Jr in the immediate aftermath of the election amid speculation that the former presidential candidate could be handed control of US public health agencies. Advisers to the president-elect questioned whether Mr Kennedy, a vaccine sceptic who has also been the subject of a series of bizarre stories involving animals, would make it through a security check for a cabinet position.

It raises questions about what role, if any, Mr Kennedy would be given in the Fuckface administration, as the Republican’s transition team sets about filling thousands of federal posts for his return to the White House. Mr Kennedy had previously said that Mr Fuckface had “promised” him control of the Department of Health and Human Services and public health agencies like the Food and Drug Administration (FDA).

However, there is disquiet in the Fuckface team about media attention on the former independent candidate after he was pressed in a post-election interview with NBC about his vaccine scepticism. Mr Kennedy said that he would seek to fix the “huge deficits” in vaccine safety but clarified: “We’re not going to take vaccines away from anybody.”

According to CNN, a source close to Mr Fuckface said: “That is not what we want people focused on today.”

Mr Kennedy, son of the late attorney general Bobby Kennedy and nephew of president John F Kennedy, has also said he plans to remove fluoride from drinking water. The claim prompted criticism from public health experts, who argued it would undo one of the great public health achievements of the 20th century...
https://www.yahoo.com/news/Fuckface-campaign-quietly-distances-itself-144333855.html

Seriously, putting this guy in charge of public health will be like putting a bull in a china shop, and then blaming the destruction on the bull! 2024 was also the year of artificial intelligence. Yes, AI is coming for us! It’s coming for our phones, our TVs, our computers, our cars. Literally anything that has a circuit will be connected to AI somehow. Tech bros are now AI bros. Also, after the election, Congress got back to the important issues affecting Americans – trans bathroom bans. But none were more insane than South Carolina’s Nancy Mace (Q – Batshit) having an epic meltdown against incoming transgender Congresswoman Sarah McBride (see: Idiots #17-15 ). But with all of that being, said, my favorite story involving the internet and technology happened because of the Infowars sale. You know who bought Alex Jones’ Infowars? Everyone’s favorite satirical newspaper, The Onion! That’s right! But of course, leave it to MAGA to take a dump in our breakfast cereal. Because that’s what they do best.

Conspiracy theorist Alex Jones is set to urge a U.S. bankruptcy judge to block the sale of his Infowars website to the Onion news parody site at a Monday court hearing in Houston. The Onion was named the winning bidder for Infowars in a November bankruptcy auction, but Jones and a company affiliated with his dietary supplements sales have argued that the sale process was plagued by fraud and collusion.

Jones declared bankruptcy in 2022 and was forced to liquidate his assets to pay $1.4 billion in legal judgments to the families of 20 students and six staff members who were fatally shot in the 2012 massacre at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. Courts in Connecticut and Texas have ruled that Jones defamed the families by making repeated false claims that the mass shooting was staged as part of a government plot to take guns away from Americans.

The Onion has said it plans to re-launch Infowars in 2025 as a parody site filled with "noticeably less hateful disinformation" than before.

The sale must be approved in court before it is final. U.S. Bankruptcy Judge Christopher Lopez, who is overseeing Jones' bankruptcy, at a previous court hearing voiced concerns about the auction's transparency. The judge has asked the parties for evidence that he will consider at Monday's meeting.

Read more: https://www.reuters.com/legal/us-judge-weighs-fate-onions-buyout-infowars-2024-12-09/

I so want to see Infowars as a parody of itself, that would be hilarious! And there’s a lot still going on that we haven’t even begun to cover yet. There’s the sightings of drones over the tri-state area, with Marjorie Shit For Brains threatening to shoot them down. There’s yet another mass shooting where the killer attempted to recreate Columbine, complete with a replica of the KMFDM shirt that the Columbine shooters wore that day. But speaking of murder, the one thing the United States does best, we can’t get out of here without the one story that’s currently all over the media – the murder of United Healthcare CEO Brian Thompson outside his New York hotel room. The killer – identified as 26 year old Luigi Mangione – certainly did his homework in leading police off the trail, which included such hilarious things as leaving a backpack full of Monopoly money in Central Park. But this has put into light that the real bad guys in all of this – who we’ve been saying for 8 FUCKING YEARS now – are the guys who have been stealing our money all along! And if this doesn’t get people talking, what will? We only hope people are still talking about it after Fuckface takes office.

The fatal shooting of UnitedHealthcare CEO Brian Thompson on Wednesday, which New York City police have described as "brazen" and "targeted," occurred after the insurance provider has faced legal scrutiny over its coverage.

Police have yet to make an arrest in the midtown Manhattan shooting, and a motive remains unclear. The shooting drew an array of reactions, with many critics not entirely sympathetic as they pointed out that the company has denied coverage to some patients. Others, however, slammed those reactions as insensitive, saying that a killing isn't justified and that acts of violence should be denounced.

One criticism of UnitedHealthcare that has garnered attention following the shooting involves a lawsuit alleging the company uses artificial intelligence (AI) to deny coverage to some elderly patients who are on a Medicare Advantage plan, despite allegedly being aware that the algorithm has a 90 percent error rate.

The lawsuit was filed on November 14, 2023. It names UnitedHealth Group, UnitedHealthcare and NaviHealth as the defendants. It was brought by the families of two now-deceased patients who were denied coverage by UnitedHealthcare for stays at nursing homes. The suit is ongoing, and its claims have not been proved in court.
https://www.newsweek.com/united-healthcare-ceo-shooting-ai-lawsuit-1996266

That’s it for our 2024 year in review, everybody!

https://memes.yarn.co/yarn-clip/81bf0dab-ff8a-4555-b48f-1744fc057dff/gif


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[font size="8"]Holy Shit
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Gather around my fair brothers and sisters! It’s time to take a seat in the pew and pass the collection plate, for the Holy Church Of The Top 10 has convened and it’s time to remind you that the holiest among us are the most full of:



My fair congregation! Please be seated! You know this is our last Holy Shit for the year and our last one for quite a while. But before we head into our long slumber, we have to talk about the election. I know, you’re probably sick of hearing about it for a while and we are too, and we’re sick that the unholy, ungodly Dark One is going to be ruling over us again. Yes, I speak of a man, so foul, so profane and disgusting that his name dare NOT be spoken in my church! Even if he is the leader of the once free world, he’s still as disgusting as ever! But my favorite one of these every year is when we look back at the year that was, and make our predictions for what’s going to happen next year based off what they said and what they did. Yes, it’s a complicated process but we’ll do our best! Probably the biggest story of the entire year in the world of religion was the merging of church with the cult of the unholy, ungodly Dark One! Which of course came to an absolute ugly peak in the state of Oklahoma. Yes, Oklahoma’s schools are ruled by Ryan Walters (Q – Batshit) and he has a plan to merge the cult with Oklahoma’s Department Of Education in the absolute worst way possible. And you will not believe it when you see it, it’s every bit as horrible as you could imagine!

But bid specifications for the Bibles, released this week, contain several narrowly drawn and unusual details. They must, for example, include text of the Pledge of Allegiance, the U.S. Constitution and other historical documents not normally included in the Bible.

What Bible fits the bill? The country music star Lee Greenwood’s God Bless the U.S.A. Bible, which is endorsed by former President Orange J. Fuckface and costs $60, far above the average price for Bibles. Mr. Fuckface receives royalties from their sales; financial disclosure reports filed in August show he has made $300,000 from the Bible since endorsing it.

The specifications caught the eye of Oklahoma Watch, a nonprofit news organization, which first reported this week that the bid specs seemed tailored to steer the state’s selection toward one Bible. Among other requirements, the bid rules require King James Version Bibles that are bound by leather or leather-like material.

About 20 million copies of the Bible are sold each year in the United States, and some printed versions are available for under $5. But each copy of Mr. Greenwood’s Bible includes a handwritten version of the chorus of his song “God Bless the U.S.A.,” a frequent anthem at Fuckface rallies. It also includes copies of the Constitution, the Bill of Rights, the Declaration of Independence and the Pledge of Allegiance. And it is bound in brown leather.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/10/04/us/oklahoma-schools-Fuckface-bible.html

Yes, so my prediction for this one is fairly easy – when the unholy Dark One himself cuts off Chinese imports and raises tariffs – Oklahoma won’t be able to put these wretched abominations in the schools because they can’t obtain them or afford them! These things retail for $69.99, with the tariffs, they’ll be $129.99 minimum! You get how that works? Thank you my fair congregation! Well, the topic on the table that was one of the biggest topics being discussed this year in the world of religion was the topic of Christian Nationalism. And yes, there were none scarier than the unholy Dark One’s proposed “border czar” Pete Hegseth. But one of the biggest peddlers of this talking point was Texas pastor Joel Webbon who made huge rounds on social media because of the incredibly extremist stuff they were saying. Yes, they want to undo the last 100 years, my friends!

Radical Christian nationalist pastor Joel Webbon used his most recent podcast to explicitly lay out his agenda, which boils down to gaining political power and then using that power for the purpose of “crushing our enemies and rewarding our friends.”

That agenda is perfectly in line with Webbon’s previously stated beliefs that the American people are too degenerate, stupid, and cowardly to abide by the Constitution and therefore must be governed by a Christian dictator who “just rules with an iron fist” and forces everyone to “pretend to be Christian.” Under such a dictator, Webbon wants to see the Apostles’ Creed added to the Constitution; abortion, pornography, no-fault divorce, in vitro fertilization, and birth control outlawed; women banned from voting, and non-Christians kept out of his neighborhood.

“We need to win,” Webbon declared. “We need to wield power righteously. … I want Christians to have power and with that power, I want it to be wielded righteously. What does that mean? It means crushing our enemies and rewarding our friends.”

What that will look like in practice, explained co-host Wesley Todd, is “the end of Pride Month, the end of DEI society” and the enforcement of “Christian virtues.”
https://www.rightwingwatch.org/post/joel-webbons-christian-nationalist-agenda-crushing-our-enemies-and-rewarding-our-friends/

No, asshole, you don’t “need to win”. The White House is not yours and you don’t have a “divine mandate from GAWD”. Because GAWD doesn’t support your hatred! My dream prediction for what should happen to this psycho would be for the democrats to retake the House, while people realize “this sucks” and they begin to undo the last 10 years! Yeah that’s what should happen, and fuck the Dark One, his “news” network and people like this. Another hot topic this year was the 20th anniversary of one of the still hottest movies in Christianity – Mel Gibson’s opus “The Passion Of The Christ”. Yes, it’s been 20 years since it was the highest grossing R rated movie of all time. And it got that title dethroned by – what else? Deadpool & Wolverine!

It can be difficult to grasp, from the vantage point of 20 years later, just how massive Mel Gibson’s The Passion Of The Christ was back in 2004. Releasing in theaters in February, and then sticking around for more than two months (to say nothing of its various recuts and re-releases), the film made more than $600 million at the box office, quickly becoming the most successful R-rated movie of all time. (A title it only lost this past summer, as Deadpool & Wolverine found at least one way they were, in fact, bigger than Jesus.) And now, it’s apparently coming back.

This is per Consequence, reporting on a piece printed in Italpress, which states that Gibson is reportedly in Malta at the moment, holding conversations with Maltese authorities about using the island nation as a filming location for a new movie: The Passion Of The Christ: Resurrection, with an eye toward beginning filming in 2025.

Neither Gibson, nor star Jim Caviezel, who’s set to return for the sequel, have been shy about their ambitions to get The Passion Of The Christ 2 made. Gibson initially announced the project back in 2016, and Caviezel made his own enthusiasm for the return clear in 2018, saying he expected the movie to be “The biggest film in history.” Gibson even gave a glimpse at plot details in 2022, when he suggested that his script for the movie was less grounded than the first film, which got a lot of its appeal from being a straightforward—if brutally violent—depiction of the story of Christ. “That’s kind of getting a little sci-fi out there,” Gibson noted of his scripts, saying the film will partially take place in “the past and in other realms.”
https://www.avclub.com/the-passion-of-the-christ-2-begin-filming-2025

Hello, Deadpool! So my prediction that is that Passion Of The Christ 2 gets upended by Deadpool 3, which that would be hilarious! I would love to see a JAYSUS – Deadpool rivaly ongoing at the box office, and I am sure that Ryan Reynolds is up to the task! But the final thing I want to touch on is the subject of the unholy Dark One himself. Yes, my friends. For too long, we’ve been referring to He Who Shall Not Be Named. And now that the unholy Dark One is about to not rightfully ascend to the throne once again, and this time, he’s way more EVIL than last time, his supporters have taken an unusually dark tone in how they celebrate his unholiness’ victory. In fact, they almost sound like that group in the Middle East that we once declared war against 20 years ago! But yeah, when you see the rhetoric, you will get it!

The first Sunday service following the election of Orange Fuckface held at Christian nationalist televangelist Kenneth Copeland's Eagle Mountain International Church was dedicated almost entirely to thanking God for Fuckface's victory.

Copeland has been an ardent Fuckface cultist since 2016, and used Sunday's service to declare that Fuckface's election will now unleash a "spiritual awakening" in America because "the atmosphere has been cleansed."

"No more rainbow flags," Copeland celebrated. "And the spirit of Margaret Sanger is gone."

During the same service, which has been removed by Copeland's church from its YouTube channel, Copeland also declared that anyone who didn't vote for Fuckface will be held accountable by Jesus with a very specific punishment.
https://www.peoplefor.org/rightwingwatch/kenneth-copeland-says-jesus-has-special-punishment-waiting-those-who-didnt-vote

Well, I won’t say what I feel should happen to his unholiness, but use some historical texts, mainly a certain work of William Shakespeare to see what I think should happen! That’s it for our year end review, and this is the last Holy Shit for a while. We will see you again soon! Mass has ended, may you go in peace! That’s it this year for:





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[font size="8"]Conspiracy Corner
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Welcome back to our segment that attempts to explain the unexplainable, Conspiracy Corner! Of course conspiracies exist when people simply don’t want to read the article past the headlines and just flat out make shit up. We of course are coming to you live from our underground doomsday shelter from deep within the New Mexico badlands. Undisclosed location, of course! Let me just adjust my trusty tin foil hat for maximum government interference. Ah, there we go! They are trying to read yours and my thoughts, after all! Well, my friends, this week, we’ve got some strange sightings happening in the Tri-State area. Yes, the area that’s home to three states – Pennsylvania, New Jersey, and New York is also home to four of the largest airports in the world – PHL, LGA, JFK, and EWR. That’s thousands of flights a day from literally all sizes of aircraft coming from all corners of the globe for those of you who are into aviation. But there’s also some strange happenings in the sky in that area – drones! Yes, unidentified drones are popping up everywhere outside of Philadelphia and Newark, which is not only alarming the FAA, it’s also alarming internet armchair conspiracy theorists all over the country. And if you follow the online conspiracy theory sphere, you know that just about everyone and their Facebook relatives has a hot take and it’s every bit as weird as it gets!

The mysterious reports of drones dotting the skies over New Jersey and other northeastern states have sparked numerous conspiracy theories and misinformation as authorities investigate, with social media users and government officials alike baselessly speculating about foreign adversaries, aliens and nuclear fallout—all of which the federal government says is false. (More updates on the drone sightings are available here.)

Pentagon Press Secretary Pat Ryder spoke to reporters on Monday and Tuesday, saying several claims about the reported drones were inaccurate and showing the government’s investigation is holding its stance on the drones being harmless and largely misconstrued.

Federal agencies investigating drone sightings—the Department of Homeland Security, the FBI, the FAA, and the Defense Department—released a joint statement on Monday concluding nothing "anomalous" was identified after reviewing 5,000 tips for drone sightings, which have been reported in more than six states since mid-November.

That same day, President-elect Orange Fuckface claimed, without evidence, that the U.S. military knows what the drones are but isn’t telling the public the truth (the president-elect receives intelligence but declined to answer whether he received any about the drones), making him the latest public official sowing doubt over what authorities have said about the reported drones.
https://www.forbes.com/sites/stephenpastis/2024/12/18/mystery-new-jersey-drones-spark-baseless-conspiracy-theories-heres-what-we-know-as-federal-agencies-double-down-on-explanation/

Yeah so this has naturally sparked some fears and the conversations include a wide variety of topics and depending on who you talk to, the drones could be anything from dirty bombs to aliens to Amazon boxes being delivered right to your door. We’re guessing it’s not the latter, though that’s what Jeff Bezos wants you to think! Though recently, the drone sightings have revived a long-dormant conspiracy theory known as Project Blue Beam. Which alleged that the government was using drones as a form of mass surveillance. It started in the 90s and was revived on the Alex Jones show. And like most conspiracies, the goal posts keep getting moved back, and the crazies keep getting stirred up. Which is why we can’t have nice things in this country.

On Saturday, Orange Fuckface-supporting celebrity Roseanne Barr posted on X, formerly Twitter, "Now you see why I mention Project Blue Beam every week on my podcast....." Her post had garnered over 2 million views by Sunday.

Adam Kinzinger, a former Republican congressman and critic of Fuckface, responded to Barr's post, writing, "Here we go. Project Blue Beam. Roseanne here is pushing this. It posits that the govt is faking an alien invasion to usher in the anti-Christ and one world govt. This is this year's QAnon. Pay attention, don't pretend this is just the fringe."

Last week, prominent conspiracy theorist Alex Jones also posted about Project Blue Beam on X, sharing a prior interview with ufologist Steven Greer about "how Project Blue Beam will be used."

Another account on X, Charlie Kirk News, a fan account for right-wing influencer Charlie Kirk posted Friday, "WE ARE F****D. THE DRONES ARE PROJECT BLUE BEAM," which was viewed 7.8 million times by Sunday.
https://www.newsweek.com/what-project-blue-beam-conspiracy-theory-erupts-over-drones-2001051

Hoooooooooooooooooly shit. We’re fucked if that’s the kind of bullshit that gets 8 million views. WTF are we doing in this country? But of course, the conspiracy theories are why we can’t have nice things, because the people who believe them really are that crazy. Like our old buddy and frequent contributor to this program, Marjorie Shit For Brains. Yes, the queen of conspiracies never lets a good one get by her, and uses her powers… well, for nothing but to sow division on social media, while going on the most lunatic fringe talk shows possible when nobody likes her ideas or takes her seriously. But Marge has threatened to unleash her inner asshole and middle finger on the drones. You know, wouldn’t it be great if Marge got arrested for shooting at low flying planes? It would be a danger to low flying planes but come on, you know this would happen!

MAGA Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene has claimed that the US government is “in control of the drones” that have been spotted over New Jersey and New York in recent weeks, which officials have so far been unable or unwilling to account for.

Greene, who is well known for amplifying online conspiracy theories, wrote on X late on Saturday night: “The government is in control of the drones and refuses to tell the American people what is going on. It really is that bad.”

The congresswoman offered no evidence to support her claim but followed up with a second post, which went viral when it was shared by podcaster Joe Rogan, featuring a video from drone manufacturer John Ferguson.

In the footage, Ferguson, the CEO of Saxon Aerospace, baselessly speculates that the drones could be patrolling East Coast interstates in search of anything from missing Ukrainian nuclear warheads to radioactive waste.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/marjorie-taylor-greene-drones-conspiracy-theories-new-jersey-b2665038.html

Come on, anyone else loving watching the full blown MAGA meltdown over the drones hovering above the tri-state area? I’m personally loving it, and you know one of them is going to do something stupid at some point. But the best part about this is that every single one of these theories have been debunked, yet they keep going at it like they’re trying to break down the door. What’s up with that? What is up with that? Let us know in the comments! But of course, while the right wing MAGA conspiracy theory world is frothing at the mouth with another plant to shut down part of the government, thankfully, we still have cooler heads prevailing at the top… for now. But that’s what they want you to think!

A puzzling flurry of apparent drone sightings along the US east coast is "nothing nefarious", says President Joe Biden.

The sightings in recent weeks have occurred in New Jersey and a number of neighbouring states, sometimes around air bases. The phenomenon has prompted a number of conspiracy theories about foreign involvement.

Authorities have not given many definitive answers, other than to say the sightings are not always of drones, and that they do not believe there is a threat to national security or that a foreign power is at work.

Members of the US House Intelligence Committee, who were given a closed-door briefing on Tuesday, joined Biden on Wednesday in trying to reassure the public.

Among the committee members who spoke to reporters afterwards were Chrissy Houlahan, a Democrat.
https://www.bbc.com/news/articles/c4g2q1e238lo

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[font size="8"]People Are Dumb
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Hit it!

Of course, you know by now that people are people, and people are dumb! And this is our favorite People Are Dumb because we get to tell you the stupidest of the stupid, the best and dumbest criminals and stupid people of 2024! And before we start, I always want to start by saying exactly what makes a People Are Dumb story. So someone just robbing a McDonalds does not make a People Are Dumb story. Now someone who steals the supply truck and goes on a joy ride because they got really high and wanted all you can eat chicken nuggets? Now that’s a People Are Dumb story! And also we do want to point out that not every People Are Dumb story is a stupid criminal story, but we do love a good stupid criminal story! Also just remember too that we have a policy of omitting names in order to protect ourselves from a lawsuit, because we wouldn’t want to draw negative attention to our fine program, would we? Let’s start with this story out of Alabama, and you probably remember the tale of the guy who stripped butt naked sohe could take a dip in the aquarium at the Bass Pro Shop, right? Well yeah we totally remember that one and it’s every bit as crazy as it sounds!

A man crashed his car outside a Bass Pro Shop in Alabama, stripped down to his birthday suit and plunged into the giant aquarium inside the store, police said.

The ordeal happened Thursday night in front of shocked shoppers in the town just outside Birmingham, Leeds Police Chief Paul Irwin said.

The 42-year-old Alabama man did a “cannonball” leap into the aquarium and then stood under a waterfall. He left the water to yell at two officers, then dove back into the aquarium, police said.

The man eventually climbed over the side of the aquarium and fell to the concrete floor below. Police then apprehended him, the news site Al.com reported.

He faces several charges including public lewdness, disorderly conduct and criminal mischief.

The man was in the water for about five minutes before officers arrived, Irwin said.
https://www.kxan.com/news/weird-news/ap-nude-man-nabbed-by-police-after-cannonball-plunge-into-giant-aquarium-at-bass-pro-shop-in-alabama/

Next up – we go to this bizarre story from Germany. We always want to preface by saying that not every People Are Dumb story is a stupid criminal story. We love stupid criminal stories. We collect them, trade them with our friends. And we also say that people doing ridiculously stupid things isn’t a uniquely American problem. No, it’s a global one that spans the entire world! You know, the COVID-19 pandemic is still a thing. Even though most governments have stopped reporting it because it’s not overloading our hospitals, but this story is weird for multiple reasons. But one thing you should never, ever do is do what this guy did and get 200 vaccines in a row. Look, your immune system is already good, but this certainly isn’t helping things!

As Europe grapples with a costly glut of Covid-19 vaccines, a German man has taken it upon himself to help out — by injecting himself with more than 200 shots.

The 62-year-old man, from Magdeburg in Germany, said he received 217 shots of the vaccine over a span of 29 months “for private reasons.” Yet he showed no side-effects and boosted his immunity to the virus compared with those who received three doses, according to a study conducted by a team of researchers from the University of Erlangen-Nuremberg.

“The number of memory cells was just as high in our test case as in the control group,” said Katharina Kocher, one of the leading authors of the study, published this week in the Lancet Infectious Diseases journal. “Over all, we did not find any indication for a weaker immune response, rather the contrary.”
https://www.politico.eu/article/german-man-receives-217-covid-19-jabs/

Next up – here’s a great story out of Colorado. We always love stupid criminal stories when people use weird ways of getting away from the cops, or they use an easily traceable online form of either transportation or currency. But what’s the one thing we *NEVER* tell you to do when you are on the run from the law? Use your damn phone! And if you commit a crime, don’t solicit a prostitute using Venmo, and don’t use Uber as a getaway car! Yes, this actually happened and it’s every bit as stupid as you could ever possibly realize!

Police in Colorado say they caught a burglar trying to get away in an Uber last week.

According to the Wheat Ridge Police Department, officers responded last Thursday night to a report of a burglary at Blue Sky Plumbing.

A 911 caller reported seeing a hole in the fence and said they had security footage of a man stealing tools.

Arriving officers said they spoke to an Uber driver who they saw waiting in the area.

The driver told them he was called to pick up a man named Jose who was walking toward the car.
https://www.14news.com/2024/01/03/burglar-busted-while-attempting-use-uber-getaway-driver-police-say/?utm_source=fark&utm_medium=website&utm_content=link&ICID=ref_fark

Of course, we can’t get out of here without mentioning a couple of stories from our favorite state of all of them. I’m of course talking about Florida, the Sunshine State. Or as Tracy Jordan famously referred to it – “the penis of America!”. And there was a lot of stupid stories coming out of the Sunshine State to choose from. By the way, is it weird when HBO / Max premieres a show called “Florida Man” and you don’t even have to read the synopsis to know what the show is about? I mean come on, we’ve been doing this program for 8 years and we know that! But this one out of Miami is a definite hall of fame contender! Look, if there’s anything you don’t do in the age of heightened security is to make even a casual bomb threat. And if you’re going to, the last place you should do that is in front of the police or airport security, because they don’t take that shit sitting down!

A Florida man claims he was attempting to “flirt” with another traveler when he made a wisecrack about having a bomb in his bag at an airport, according to police.

Miami native Alan Borinsky, 70, told police he was “trying to be funny” when he made the remark at Fort Lauderdale-Hollywood International Airport on Friday, according to an arrest report from the Broward Sheriff’s Office.

Borinsky was sitting at Gate G11 in terminal four when two witnesses overheard him tell another passenger something like “If the bomb in my bag goes off prematurely, I apologize to your family in advance,” the police report says, WPLG reported. ...........(more)

https://nypost.com/2024/03/06/us-news/florida-man-claims-airport-bomb-threat-was-attempt-to-flirt-with-passenger/

Finally for this year, like I said, 2024 was the year of Florida Man and there were a shit ton of stories to choose from, and you can go through all of our editions this year to prove that. And while we normally try to keep this segment apolitical, we have to award this as the single most Florida Man story ever, and this might be an actual hall of fame contender. So when a truly massive hurricane like we experienced with Helene this year happens, what’s the first thing you do? Run to the store and grab anything and everything you can to prepare for apocalyptic weather. Well, these two dolts decided that the place to loot was the MAGA merchandise store. Yes, you heard that right. They decided that MAGA merch was more important than food, and well, this is what you get. But then again, this is the state that elected Anna Luna to Congress, we’re not surprised!

Two Florida men were arrested after allegedly ransacking a strip mall 'Fuckface Store' during Hurricane Helene.

Police assigned to patrol the closed-down area of Madeira Beach where they spotted two men outside a collection of shops Friday evening, one night after Helene made landfall.

They found (omitted), loitering despite the issued state of emergency, and in possession of various Fuckface-themed merchandise, styles which were carried by the retail shop.

The beachside 'Fuckface store' in the Tampa Bay area was "unsecured due to damages from the storm," according to the police affidavit obtained by The Smoking Gun.

(omitted) was wearing a "Fuckface cowboy hat," which he claimed "washed up from the hurricane, and that's how they ended up in his possession."
https://www.latintimes.com/florida-men-loot-Fuckface-store-during-hurricane-make-off-Fuckface-cowboy-hats-coffee-mugs-police-560965

That’s it this year for:

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[font size="8"] Road To The Shithouse
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Welcome back to our segment that puts all of our post-election coverage in one place – Road To The Shithouse! Yes, we have to face reality that Fuckface is going to be inaugurated on January 20th and he is going to have unleashed both his inner asshole and his middle finger at America. Well, fuck, this isn’t how we wanted to end things, but here we are. And we’ve got some final thoughts on what happened now that Fuckface Turdburglar and his billionaire criminal cabal are going to be worming their way back to the White House on January 20th, and well, we warned you what a massive shit show this next administration is going to be. In fact, a couple of weeks ago, we were wondering if the Fuckface “honeymoon period” was going to be over. So we decided to close this segment by telling you what you voted for and what you are going to get. In an election, there are no take backs. Yes, we’re seeing a lot of “I regret my vote for Fuckface” votes. And here’s the thing – we fucking warned you! Like, we spent the last two years warning you! But for our final thoughts, we’re going to talk about, and place the blame strictly on one of the organizations that made Fuckface 47 possible, one of the largest newspapers in the country – the Los Angeles Times, and their billionaire asshole owner, Patrick Soon-Shiong. No, we don’t want to bow to your demands, fuck you.

Patrick Soon-Shiong, the owner of the Los Angeles Times, reportedly asked the newspaper’s editorial board to “take a break” from writing about Orange Fuckface, in the latest report of the billionaire owner’s growing influence over the newspaper’s coverage.

The newspaper and its owner were embroiled in controversy for weeks this fall after Soon-Shiong blocked the board from endorsing Kamala Harris for president. The decision led to a wave of resignations on the editorial board and the loss of thousands of subscriptions.

Explaining his decision, Soon-Shiong said he feared endorsing a candidate would fuel divisions across the US. Later, he said that the newspaper had become an “echo chamber”, moving too far left, and that he wanted to see the Los Angeles Times become more “fair and balanced”.

https://www.theguardian.com/media/2024/dec/18/la-times-patrick-soon-shiong-Fuckface

Damn right! And no, Jeff Bezos, don’t think you’re immune from this either. In fact, the point where a red flag went off that something was wrong, was when those two douchebags blocked their rags to endorse Kamala for president. Like they knew something that we didn’t. So what is it? Out with it, already! So instead of using this to rag on the people who got duped, we’re going to focus on the dupers – the people who made Fuckface’s trip back to the White House possible. And one such peddler of misinformation is the owner of the LA Times. And we could spend all day on this subject, because Patrick Soon-Shiong is a piece of shit. In fact when your owner is so toxic that people are leaving in droves, you know that’s a problem! In fact, he can’t stop meddling in the opinions section, and you know what they say about opinions.

After President-elect Orange J. Fuckface announced a cascade of cabinet picks last month, the editorial board of The Los Angeles Times decided it would weigh in. One writer prepared an editorial arguing that the Senate should follow its traditional process for confirming nominees, particularly given the board’s concerns about some of his picks, and ignore Mr. Fuckface’s call for so-called recess appointments.

The paper’s owner, the billionaire medical entrepreneur Dr. Patrick Soon-Shiong, had other ideas.

Hours before the editorial was set to be sent to the printer for the next day’s newspaper, Dr. Soon-Shiong told the opinion department’s leaders that the editorial could not be published unless the paper also published an editorial with an opposing view.

Baffled by his order and with the print deadline approaching, editors removed the editorial, headlined “Orange Fuckface’s cabinet choices are not normal. The Senate’s confirmation process should be.” It never ran.
https://www.nytimes.com/2024/12/12/business/media/la-times-patrick-soon-shiong.html

Yeah so not only is this our last Road To The Shithouse section, this is going to be a preview of where we’re going next! Yes, we’re going to expose the peddlers of misinformation and Fuckface’s biggest fanboys – the billioniares! Unfortunately we won’t get to do Stupidest State this year, but that’s OK, we kind of need a break for it. But the reason we decided to switch gears is because, well, we’re fed up, tired, and fucking pissed off. The billionaire criminal cabal which includes Patrick Soon-Shiong. But when the shit hits the fan next year, you gotta know who to complain to. So instead of crying or blaming anyone, we’re going to tell you who’s responsible for our country turning to shit in our new segment “Better Know A Billionaire!”. But Patrick Soon-Shiong and his love of Fuckface is going way too far, and it needs to be addressed! He’s turned one of this nation’s most beloved newspapers into an absolute shit show. Seriously, everything Fuckface touches.

Los Angeles Times owner Patrick Soon-Shiong is now prohibiting “editorials containing criticism” of Orange Fuckface “unless they are presented side-by-side with another opinion piece representing the ‘opposing view,’” according to a memo written by the newspaper’s editors.

As Oliver Darcy first reported in his Status newsletter, the staff memo reveals that Soon-Shiong’s “meddling” of the LA Times’ coverage – especially regarding the president-elect – has “grown more pervasive than previously realized.”

The memo, signed by several members of the LA Times’ opinion section, was sent to the newspaper’s executive editor, Terry Tang. It comes after Soon-Shiong killed an op-ed last month critical of Fuckface’s recent Cabinet picks and the incoming president’s suggestion that he may use recess appointments to circumvent the confirmation process.
https://www.independent.co.uk/news/world/americas/us-politics/la-times-owner-Fuckface-b2665827.html

By the way – you can drown us out and you can have “opinions favorable” of Fuckface, but there’s no way you can silence us. Yes, you got your wish and it’s an extremely shitty one. Fuckface is going to destroy the country so you can add more billions to your already ill gotten gains. And we will tell you where to shove it. So instead of crying in our beers about why the democrats lost the election, we’re using our last segment here to say “fuck you” to the people who made this whole thing possible, and don’t think we’re done yet! Because Patrick Soon-Shiong and his love of and ass kissing for Fuckface is grossly unpopular with the LA Times staff. People have quit. He’s proposed a controversial AI bias meter to promote fairness, but this may be the most egregious of them all – he wants to have “fairness” in the opinions section. Oh so now they suddenly care about fairness? Fuck this shit. Until we meet again in 2025, I’m out! Fuck you Patrick Soon-Shiong, and he won’t be the last!

Patrick Soon-Shiong, the owner of the Los Angeles Times, has announced plans to incorporate an artificial intelligence-powered “bias meter” into the newspaper’s coverage.

Soon-Shiong, the biotech billionaire who bought the Los Angeles Times in 2018, made the comments on a podcast hosted by conservative commentator Scott Jennings, who is soon joining the LA Times editorial board.

The proposed move is the latest controversy to rock the newspaper which has suffered a wave of resignations and layoffs under Soon-Shiong’s ownership. Most recently, Soon-Shiong blocked the paper from endorsing Democrat Kamala Harris in last month’s presidential election, sparking outrage from many staff.
https://www.theguardian.com/media/2024/dec/06/la-times-ai-bias-meter-owner

[font size="4"]And Now This: [/font]
[font size="4"]AC/DC[/font]

Folks, since this is our last regular show for a while, we decided to go all out with a bang, and we’ve got a guest that we’ve wanted to get for the last 5 years! Their latest album is called Power Up. You can see them on tour this April including stops at the Rose Bowl April 18th, Allegiant Stadium, April 26th, and much more. Playing their song “Shot In The Dark”, give it up for the one, the only AC/DC!

Thank you everyone. Well here we are, this is the end… for now. We have to take a long hiatus and do some retooling. Also, this is our last show at the Observatory OC. Our next shows will be at our new home base in Long Beach at the Long Beach Terrace Theater. This year and this election cycle brought us to the breaking point. We were sick of seeing Fuckface and his goons on TV 24 hours a day, and we really thought we were going to be at the very end of it. But nope, 76 million Americans voted for the fucking asshole to be president again and now this is where we are. And it of course, it had to end with the absolute WORST election in United States history. Really, this is rock bottom. They have one party rule. The media will give them a blank check to do whatever they want. So we need to just shut it down. But we will be back. But before we go, I do have something that I have been wanting to do all year, regardless of which candidate won. But since Fuckface unfortunately is going to be worming his way back to the White House, this makes it even more like something I have to do. But we will digress and we will see everyone back out on the road soon. But before we go, I want to thank my staff, my crew, all the great universities that hosted us through this season, and of course our home office in Santa Ana, and the fine people at the Observatory OC, go see a show there if you’re in town. We wouldn’t be here without you guys! UGA and Miami, we will be back. And everyone else, we will be back! Until then… fuck this fucking year. Fuck you 2024, and also fuck you 2025. I’m out!

Well we’ll see you next year!

Credits

Host: Initech
AC/DC appear courtesy of: Leidseplein B.V.
Top 10 Conservative Idiots Recorded In Front Of A Live Audience At: Constellation Room at Observatory OC, Santa Ana, CA
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Initech Productions: Yes, We Got The Memo