Ray Romano Wonders If Sons' 'Privilege' Gave Them a 'Disadvantage' in Life:

[Wiz Imp]

‘They Have 11 Bathrooms’ (https://people.com/ray-romano-wonders-if-his-sons-privilege-gave-them-a-disadvantage-in-life-exclusive-8764690)

While talking about the difficulty his sons have faced finding a career path, Ray, who appears in the documentary, says he often thinks about how their lives might have turned out if the family hadn't been in the public eye.

“I sometimes wonder, are we presenting a disadvantage for them by providing them with so much?” he says. “Necessity is the mother of invention. If they needed to go out and find a passion or find a job, would they do it?”

While he sometimes fears that his sons’ failure to launch might be a result of his fame, the Everybody Loves Raymond star looks back at his own trajectory for reassurance. “You look at me and I was living in a house with one bathroom in Queens, and I stayed in that house until I was 29,” he says. “They have 11 bathrooms, so I’m not expecting them to want to move, but it was a problem for me until I did find a career in stand-up.”

Reflecting on their dad’s perspective, the twins acknowledge that they’re unsure if their “rut” is tied to their upbringing. “There’s no denying that if I had to find a way to put food on the table, I would’ve had no choice,” Greg says. “Maybe it’s a little easier to be stuck in a rut because I was lucky enough to not have to figure out how to survive every day.”

Here's a clue: 90% of the people in this country would love to have had the "disadvantages" given to Romano's sons by their privilege.

Thanks for proving why I never liked you.

[Paladin]

1. Boo-fucking-hoo. (nt)

[Think. Again.]

2. No words.

[ColinC]

3. I find it an honest reflection that highlights the built-in inequities of society

[Wiz Imp]

4. Oh Please. So I guess the Trump children have had to deal with terrible "disadvantages" from being born into privilege

as well? Honest reflection of the built-in inequities of society? Give me a break. His children have NEVER had to deal with the built-in inequities of society. So he's trying to pretend that oh, these poor rich kids who grew up with a father who's net worth is over $200 million had it so tough. How can society make it so hard for us privileged rich folks. This is beyond tone deaf. It is one of the most insulting things I've ever heard from a wealthy person. Totally disgusting.

[ColinC]

5. Well yeah. They are utter dumbasses. In part cause they never needed to not be.

Unlike literally anybody who had to work a 9-5 or grind daily to satisfy customers, etc etc

If they didn't have these economic advantages, maybe they'd learn to change a tire once in their life. But instead if they ever drive by themselves and get a flat, they might just starve to death 🤞

Unlike Romano and his kids, they probably would tell you they earned everything they have and are self sufficient and capable without their wealth. Thus the contrast in intellectual honesty of two groups of people in the same class.

[harumph]

6. I don't think there is any argument that pampering one's kids is a moral hazard for them.

But that can happen at various income/wealth levels. Some kids are self starters, others not so much and
need more hand holding. Obviously when money is no object it's easy to fall into the pampering mode.

[Abolishinist]

11. Exactly.

The person who does 'handyman' stuff for us was kicked out of his home when he was 16 and left to fend for himself. Don't know all the history, but he go involved in shall we say the building trades, along the way got his GED, has a contractor's license, and has been working all his life. He's now 55+.

He got married, recently divorced, and has a son who is now around 18. He dropped out of high school and does nothing all day but play video games. His dad is always buying him faster computers, a car he seldom drives, etc. etc. I've asked him a few times about why doesn't he have his son help him out, he could learn a trade and become self-sufficient, he just shrugs it off. I never bring up the possible 'harm' I think he's inflicting on him.

All to say you're right, often there are other things besides wealth that enter into this. And oh, by the way, he's a MAGAT.

[uponit7771]

14. Yep, recent study showed that kids who start choosing a career vision in middle school and have it planned out with ...

... parents have a 37% greater chance of being in that field to some degree by time they're 23 ish.

Its just too easy at all income levels to stay with parents these days especially with how expensive things are, there needs to be more planning.

I don't see the economy getting better for kids under MAGA rule

[mentalsolstice]

7. I have often wondered about rich people's (celebrity) offspring.

Often we never hear about what they grow up to be. Many are probably content to quietly live out of the limelight on the riches that came from their parents very public lives. OTOH, some want to go out there and make a name for themselves, and for good or bad they’re called nepo babies. I’m not one to judge them.

[Wiz Imp]

9. I'm not judging the kids. But it is insulting for a guy worth over $200 million to try to claim that was a disadvantage

to his kids. Romano said "If they needed to go out and find a passion or find a job, would they do it?," If they didn't, that would be his fault, not the kids fault nor would it be due to the privileges they grew up with. His kids grew up with more advantages than over 99% of the population. It's up to parents to teach their children to have strong values, work ethic, responsibility, respect for others, etc. Coming from wealth and privilege should not make it more difficult to teach kids those values.

[displacedvermoter]

24. It's insulting that Ray Romano is worth $200 million, honestly!

[Greybnk48]

8. Romano's being honest. He came from a modest lifestyle and probably felt real good

about being able to provide for his kids and spoil them like he wasn't.

But there can be a downside to that, and he's seeing it with his kids. It can kill motivation. Not always, but often.

[uponit7771]

13. Yep, I've seen it first hand. The amount of prep that has to go into setting a vision for kids who have everything ...

... they want is a lot.

They have to see themselves on their own and adding to society and parents have a set a hard line of the providing for themselves.

[cadoman]

25. Warren Buffett felt the same way

https://www.cnbc.com/2020/05/07/warren-buffett-son-doesnt-regret-spending-berkshire-stock-he-got-at-19-worth-200-million-now.html

Of course some other families have such a level of struggle/disadvantage that they can't even imagine these problems, and it's likely a privilege to even be able to discuss matters such as this.

[Freethinker65]

33. Agree. Sounds like he knows his kids have been given advantages almost no others have

But with those advantages of never having to work a day in your life, you can easily lose out on the experience of achievement through determination and effort (there actually is a psychological reward to that, a feeling of worth and accomplishment).

Ray knows his kids will have to ever worry about having enough money, but he sees they might be missing out on somethings more, or equally, important.

[keep_left]

10. It seems that the best people in showbiz never lose...

...their humility--but unfortunately, that's such a small number of them. I always remember the story of rocker Steve Miller, who grew up in great privilege--his godfather was Les Paul!--but when Miller's first gold record was delivered, he hung it over his washer and dryer. If I recall correctly, Miller said that he "needed to keep things in perspective".

I have a feeling that the temptations of fame are equally great for the stars and for their children. So few can keep their heads on straight. I've always admired Michael Moore, even when I haven't agreed with all of his takes on the world. Money and fame haven't taken their usual toll; his personal life is hardly the customary trail of wreckage regularly seen in the tabloids.

[LisaL]

12. Disadvantage is not the right word for it,

but if he keeps supporting his adult sons, it's not that surprising they lack motivation to get a paying job.

[LeftInTX]

15. So they're spoiled. Being spoiled is a disadvantage.

He didn't teach his kids some things that they should have learned. Or his kids didn't have the opportunities that normal kids have, so now they're spoiled. Knew lots of kids like that.

This is not that big of a story. Lots of Hollywood kids are like this. I hope his sons become productive members of society.

It could be worse: In India, if your parents are in show business, you are guaranteed a spot in show business.

[Wiz Imp]

17. Being spoiled is a disadvantage?

If that is the case, then the fault lies not in their privilege but in their parents. It's his own fault that they are spoiled. Quit blaming the privilege. His kids didn't have the opportunities that other kids have? seriously? People of that incredible wealth have more opportunities than 99.99% of the population. I'm sorry, but it is extremely insulting for a man worth over $200 million dollars to claim his kids are at a disadvantage because they're so rich. It's sick.

[LeftInTX]

18. Yes it is. Look at RFK Jr. Money isn't everything.

I knew a bunch of old money kids. Always were taking drugs and stuff. It can't buy you happiness. Wealth requires responsibility, even if you don't come from wealth yourself.

[Wiz Imp]

19. Terrible example

His many brothers and sisters are by all accounts, fairly normal productive members of society. If their wealth were so harmful, then why did it only affect him?

The Trump children aren't horrible people because of their wealth, they are horrible people because their father is a horrible human being and so was a horrible father who failed to teach them positive values.

[Ndp5]

16. I actually feel sort of sorry for them

Not in the way Romano wants people to sympathize with them — that’s bull, and yes, the whole family is out of touch with the rest of America — but because they’ll always be in their father’s shadow.

And because they’ll never triumph over adversity. Few parents would wish hardship and struggle on their children, but there are rewards to emerging from a crucible. It tends to make you more compassionate and complex than you were, and more interesting than people who have had 11 bathrooms and a professional network just handed to them.

It seems to me that they didn’t climb out of any rut by finding passions or abilities of their own. They just decided to capitalize on dad’s connections and build careers from nepotism. I know that’s common in Hollywood, but then again, maybe that partly explains why Hollywood churns out so much derivative crap nowadays.

[Wiz Imp]

20. I can understand that position and sympathize with it.

I do not judge the kids. If they are messed up, it's not because they grew up wealthy, it's because their father failed to teach them good human values to be productive members of society. Romano is blaming being wealthy for his own failures as a parent.

[karynnj]

21. Disadvantage is the wrong word. It is pathetic that they COULD have had

the resources to pursue any interests or activities they had .. and did nothing. How unbelievably dull can you get. They took their lucky break (being born to a wealthy well known father, who could have provided connections to many mentors) and threw it away.

Compare this to many intelligent, thoughtful kids who can't afford college without substantial loans, jobs - instead of resume enhancing unpaid internships.

He should be asked if he ever encouraged his kids to engage on anything.

[ColinC]

22. So many people are missing the good point he is making

Last edited Sun Dec 22, 2024, 12:10 PM - Edit history (1)

Which is that his kids grew up with the kind of privilege that essentially made it so other people would do most of the necessary things for them -which most people learn themselves because this class of people do not need to. As a result, if they were ever separated from their wealth for any reason, they would need to learn these things on a whim, on their own. Or just... die. That is absolutely a disadvantage. Not because they couldn't have learned such things. But because, unlike most people, they didn't need to. The fact they can admit this shows the humility, honesty and introspection of human beings. This unlike other rich folk who claim to do everything on their own and would be self sufficient and independent without their wealth, or the support that comes with it.

Some rich folk however, remove monetary support from their kids at least temporarily in order to force them to work and learn this stuff on their own. I imagine Romano might decide to use that for his children as well if they are still young enough.

[karynnj]

35. To me, the People article read as a promo for the sons future productions

Having even a middle class income and certainly higher incomes, parents have the luxury to help their children get the training, experiences and education to allow them to test whether an interest they have could become their passion. It sounds from the article like for the first more than 20 years of their lives, none of his 3 sons really got engaged on anything.

Now, using the father's contacts, fame and support, they are "writing" while essentially being part of a reality show. I imagine there are many young writers, actually working on scripts, books etc. This is why to me, this still stinks of entitlement.

As to survival skills, while it would be tough, even if the family were to lose all their wealth, they would still have advantages in getting jobs such as waiters in high cost restaurants or hospitality jobs where their background would help.

What kind of things did they not learn because people did it for them? Basic cooking, shopping, cleaning, shoveling the driveway, mowing the grass? Applying for jobs? As soon as the money is gone, most of these would have a pretty short learning curve.

[Buckeyeblue]

23. Could be that his kids don't have his talent or good luck

I think for most showbiz people it's the talent/luck combo that gets them the chance. One without the other usually means you end up working a day job.

[DemMedic]

26. Poor babies....

Perhaps he should have been a better mentor to his kids.

[JohnnyRingo]

27. Saturday was Romano's birthday.

Just putting that out there.

[onecaliberal]

29. :

Thousands of children live in unsafe homes right now.

[RandomNumbers]

34. Romano is recognizing his privilege

I don't get the intensely negative responses here.

The problem is our system that allows someone to accumulate so much as others starve and struggle.

But it is our system and someone who plays by the rules and does well, but then recognizes that they got lucky or benefited from privilege, well gee maybe it would be nice if they would give away all their wealth before saying anything, but who does that? Saints, maybe. Normal people aren't saints.

I guess I'm saying that the ire should be directed at the Trumper shitheads who are much more triumphalist and asshole-ish about their privilege. A guy who is honestly admitting it is not our enemy.

(and oh btw, someone who is one of the very most liberal - socialist actually - people in my circle, recently recommended a movie that Romano stars in. If he was a right-wing shithead they'd probably know it and not have recommended any of his work.)