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The Borowitz Report-El Chapo Claims He Was Jan 6 Rioter
El Chapo Claims He Was Jan 6 Rioter
— eugene (@eugene290390.bsky.social) 2025-01-23T12:55:31.962Z
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
Link to tweet
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/el-chapo-claims-he-was-jan-6-rioter
FLORENCE, COLORADO (The Borowitz Report)—In a bid for a presidential pardon, Joaquín "El Chapo" Guzmán claimed on Thursday that he had participated in the Capitol insurrection on January 6, 2021.
The imprisoned drug lord did not explain how he managed to appear in DC for the riot, saying only, “As a felon, I ask President Trump to pardon me out of professional courtesy.”
Vowing that he was ready to turn over a new leaf, he asserted, “If pardoned, I promise to stop selling drugs and will focus on crypto.”
In his closing argument, El Chapo acknowledged he was a controversial figure but added, “I’m not some total maniac like Hegseth.”
The imprisoned drug lord did not explain how he managed to appear in DC for the riot, saying only, “As a felon, I ask President Trump to pardon me out of professional courtesy.”
Vowing that he was ready to turn over a new leaf, he asserted, “If pardoned, I promise to stop selling drugs and will focus on crypto.”
In his closing argument, El Chapo acknowledged he was a controversial figure but added, “I’m not some total maniac like Hegseth.”
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