Trump Can't Find A Chef To Work For His White House

[LetMyPeopleVote]

Trump Can't Find A Chef To Work For His White House
Is it because chefs are an anti-fascist demographic, or because Trump has the palate of a six-year-old?

— (@realjesuschrysler.bsky.social) 2025-01-21T17:26:40.341Z

Link to tweet

Is it because chefs are an anti-fascist demographic, or because Trump has the palate of a six-year-old?

https://medium.com/the-haven/trump-cant-find-a-chef-to-work-for-his-white-house-a578a849491b

The following are Trump’s dining tendencies previous chefs who have worked for him have alleged:

When world leaders dine with Trump, he reaches across the table and eats off their plates, which he calls a “power move” to assert dominance.
Every night Trump eats three servings of the dinner’s dessert, and tells the table, “I’m never like this, I can’t believe how bad I’m being tonight.”
Trump forbids his chefs to ever serve him any form of sausage because of how often people compare little sausage links to his fingers.
Trump tells his waiters every single meal, “Don’t worry, I’m going to treat you right on the tip,” and then stiffs them......
Trump often comments to dinner guests that global warming can’t be real because ice cream still exists.
Trump is adamant that Obama “had to have” eaten more fried chicken than him, despite vigorous disagreement from every White House staff member.
The only part of a turkey Trump eats is the breasts. He and Stephen Miller have had several dinner discussions on what they think human breasts taste like. Miller described the taste with such vivid detail and creepy confidence that Markowitz believes he has actually eaten human meat before.
Trump goes through a 20-oz ketchup bottle weekly.
Trump changes into stretchy pants before every meal because he says buttons are “rigged against him.”

[proud patriot]

1. Ha ha ha ha ha

I thoroughly enjoyed that

[BlueWaveNeverEnd]

22. me too

[Puppyjive]

27. He can door dash McDonald's

Seems fit for him.

[roamer65]

36. Hopefully KFC as well.

[hlthe2b]

2. OMG. I can't imagine anyone wanting to eat with him, much less watch him eat.

Uggh.

[3auld6phart]

46. Good gawd

If that bit alone is disgusting. A

[hlthe2b]

47. Not sure if you are trying to be derisive of me or of Trump, but if you want to eat with him--have at it.

He's a disgusting POS--always was and always will be. If you are defending him, I think your time here will not be smooth.

[3auld6phart]

49. I

Don’t know what you are go ing on about. Reaching across to o her plates.??? The whole article wA hilarious an not true. But seeing that phat ( fat) ASS imbecile it all could be true.

[Bluethroughu]

3. Move the Mcgriddle in.

[magicarpet]

4. Any chef knows his history of poor eating habits with copeous amounts of junkfood washed down with Diet Coke.

If trDUMP lasts one year into this second term it will be a miracle.

No chef wants to be blamed for djt's death.

[Traildogbob]

6. Hero status would follow

[Traildogbob]

5. Are we saying

The entire countries highly skilled McDonald’s chef’s are being paid way too much to leave and work in the White House? Thank’s Biden.

[Ocelot II]

7. This is a comedy post. Scroll all the way to the end:

Enjoy my comedy and political commentary? Buy me a coffee!

But first subscribe to my free Substack The Halfway Café to get my work delivered right to your inbox. In this second Trump Era of surrealist governance, nothing is more important than comedy, so consider becoming a paid member to help support me tirelessly mocking Trump and his MAGA movement.

[TheRickles]

12. As will be happening a lot now, it's hard to tell the difference between satire and real news.

[sakabatou]

13. So it was satire?

[Ocelot II]

14. Yup. It's hard to tell sometimes, but the author describes his work as comedy.

[sakabatou]

19. Ah

I feel like DU needs a new rule where satire needs to be marked as such.

[jls4561]

31. Yeah, it had me going until the end.

Although the line about Fatass going through a 20 oz. bottle of ketchup should have tipped me off.
It has to be more than that!

[Grokenstein]

35. I didn't get suspicious until the "motor-boating two stacks of pancakes" bit.

Reaching across the table to eat off others' plates as a 'power move,' though, I completely bought that one.

(Oh man, just imagine if he reads the article and starts doing all those things out of childish spite. I can buy that too.)

[jls4561]

38. There were a lot of perfectly plausible scenarios in this piece.

Taking his dentures out and having Ivanka chew his food was a WHAT? but not totally unbelievable.

[lastlib]

42. they weren't coounting what he threw against the wall......... n/t

[nilram]

57. No, I don't think so. Comedy is funny.

This was just fiction.

[waterwatcher123]

8. Maybe find a chef who specializes in Salmonella and Botulism recipes.

[samplegirl]

9. Good more hamburgers for

Fat man!👨

[bdamomma]

10. Hey

he can afford to lose some weight or let him starve. Or Elon will go get him some take out.

[sakabatou]

11. I wouldn't be surprised if a chef who worked for him in the past

had his food thrown back at him. Literally.

[Cha]

15. How about BOTH?!

[Kid Berwyn]

16. Chefs are artists.

The best are incomparable to anyone.

Imagine Einstein flipping burgers for Bif.

[jls4561]

17. President Sausage Fingers should be the new norm in media style guides!

President Sausage Fingers today named Kimberley Guilefoyle ambassador to Greece.

Better looking headline. Also more accurate.

[Mike Nelson]

18. I know...

... how about the Brewster sisters of NY? They are legal, descended from the Mayflower trip, and they have a relative who thinks he is Teddy Roosevelt. They would be perfect!

[niyad]

32. Ohhhhh, perfect!

[ChazInAz]

34. Their nephew Jonathan

Would make an excellent White House butler. His brother Mortimer is too intellectual for any position there.

[Think. Again.]

20. We need more devoutly anti-fascist people, not just chefs.

[The Wizard]

21. May I suggest

Velma Barfield?

[Evolve Dammit]

23. How hard is take-out??

[Hassler]

24. Scump better also get a food tester

[Rebl2]

26. Nah

not needed

[Rebl2]

25. No decent and

respectable chef would work for this w.h.

[Raven123]

28. Just have JD get carry out. He likes meeting working people

[GoCubsGo]

29. What a fucking manbaby.

I have met toddlers who are more mature than that bloated ninny.

[dutch777]

30. I'll do it! (Where is that pound of capsaicin I bought ? Wonder if it dissolves in Diet Coke ?!?!?}

[niyad]

33. I will happily donate my bhut jolokia to the cause. Maybe in the ice cream?

[JoseBalow]

37. He's a disgusting bloated sack of shit

I can't wait for him to stroke out.

[TexasTowelie]

39. The moment that Trump sticks his hand on my dinner plate

is also the moment that Trump gets a fork stuck in his hand.

[Ilsa]

53. and a finger sawed off.

I move quickly to eat.

[WestMichRad]

56. Same here

… except the tines of the fork would be entirely thru his hand.

[Ping Tung]

40. All the good chefs are afraid they'll be deported if they burn the toast.

[mercuryblues]

41. You know you're screwed when McDonalds employees

refuse the head chef job in the WH.

[Mountainguy]

43. Shouldn't be hard to find

somebody to burn steaks and stock Diet Coke.

[Ford_Prefect]

44. I'm not surprised, KFC and Mickey D's both pay better

[a kennedy]

45. and again it comes down to Obama......🤬 🤬 🤬 🤬 🤬

How do we really thank Barack Obama for this piece of shit??? That White House Correspondence Dinner is when it ALL started. SERIOUSLY. The orange piece of shit has shown his hate for Barack by doing ALL the crap he’s done so far. Or am I nuts???

[the nelm]

48. Gee, no volunteers from the thousands who ever worked a grill at Mickie D's or a KFC fryolator?

Those are a dime a dozen. (Including me from almost 50 years ago at Mickie Ds, but then I'd never pass a security audit.) Getting that manufactured goo that goes on a Big Mac just right is such an art form...

[Jack Valentino]

50. "T.M.I" Too much information..... NT

[RockRaven]

51. This satire does prompt a very real, very important question everyone is now thinking:

What is the true figure for TCF's weekly ketchup consumption? Inquiring minds want to know.

[ms liberty]

52. He looks like a moran who would talk with food in his mouth and chew his food with his mouth open

I hate seeing other people masticating their meal. Blech.

[Ilsa]

54. If he ate something off my plate, I'd send it back, claiming

I saw something icky crawling around, but I think STrump ate it.

[Norrrm]

55. Send him this cook's resume.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mary_Mallon

[GoneOffShore]

58. Those pieces are by Dash MacIntyre who is a satirist. Still funny though

[Oneear]

59. Help Wanted at the White House for a Cook

Short-order Cooks are in demand

[Dem4life1234]

60. Hopefully a chef that will cook up all the greasy artery clogging mess he loves