RFK Jr. Vows To Make Measles Deaths So Common They Won't Be Upsetting Anymore (satire)

[milestogo]

Published: February 27, 2025

WASHINGTON—Addressing the ongoing outbreak in Texas that has infected at least 124 state residents and killed one child, Health and Human Services Secretary Robert F. Kennedy Jr. vowed Thursday to make measles deaths so common that they wouldn’t be upsetting anymore. “When President Trump appointed me, I pledged to desensitize Americans to preventable death by making it such a normal, everyday occurrence that people would just shrug it off,” said Kennedy, who added that the current epidemic, which is considered Texas’ largest in 30 years, was the first step to one day fully numbing citizens to the experience of watching each other die painful measles-related deaths.

“We’ve been following this outbreak since it began in late January, and we’re proud to announce that Americans across the country are already jaded enough to throw up their hands and dismiss it as just another sensationalized news story. As it spreads, we will continue to fan the flames in the hope that if someone you know and love succumbs to a measles infection, you won’t even bat an eyelash.” At press time, Kennedy added that one day measles deaths would be so common that no one would even care if he died from the disease, too.

https://theonion.com/rfk-jr-vows-to-make-measles-deaths-so-common-they-wont-be-upsetting-anymore

[Irish_Dem]

1. Just like school shootings.

And killing children with guns.

Americans see it as normal.

[tapper]

2. MASA!

Make America Sicker Again!

[Eugene]

3. That satire is inseparably close to reality.

Normalize it like gun violence or preventable COVID deaths.
All a price worth paying for FREEDUMB!!!

[Voltaire2]

4. Not satire. He helped do this in Samoa.