Is he dead yet?

[Orrex]

"Accidentally" hit by another microphone? A big, sharp, pointy one?

Mocked to death while begging for secret Danish eggs?

CASCA: Speak, hands, for me!

[Celerity]

1. We can but hope.

[hlthe2b]

2. ...

[William Seger]

3. Infantile Death Syndrome?

Downhill racing on the slippery slope to fascism, ran smack into a completely different metaphor?

His crazy train jumped the tracks on a bridge too far?

[birdographer]

4. One Big Mac too many?

One Adderall too many?

One Diet Coke too many?

One extra-crispy Kentucky fried chicken thigh too many?

[MiHale]

5. Melania told him she loves him...

Shock killed him.

[Wicked Blue]

6. Rabid Doge bite

Bird-brain flu

Impaled by one of Melanoma's scarlet Xmas trees.

[SheltieLover]

7. 3rd time's the charm?

Hit exploding golf ball?

Shoved off cliff by angry magat farmers?

Food poising from rotten garbage served at his roach motel.


Hope springs eternal...

[niyad]

8. Alas my bottle of bubbly remains unopened.

An asteroid?

a chunk of the unelected South African nepo baby's space junk falls on him?

[BComplex]

9. We should start the rumor on some social media site that he died. Just to make people's day.

April Fools Day would be the perfect time for him to go?

[Aviation Pro]

10. No

But all GA flight operations for 30 nautical miles around Motherfucker’s shit hole have been suspended so the fuckwad can play a game of shank.

[MontanaMama]

11. Sadly, no...

However, my favorite tarot reader believes another assassination attempt is expected March into April so it is my hope that the third time is a charm. I’ve been rooting for cholesterol for a decade and she hasn’t taken him yet. MF is probably on a statin. 😒

[58Sunliner]

12. Poisoned by Musk jr? Pushed down the stairs by jr?

[twodogsbarking]

13. Attacked by ten thousand squirrels. Chewed beyond recognition.

[surfered]

15. I was thinking more of dung beetles.

[twodogsbarking]

16. They can have Musk.

[surfered]

17. Ah.

[surfered]

14. Excessive use of a carcinogenic bronzer.

[WestMichRad]

18. Pitchforked by an angry farmer?

Creased in the noggin by a Canadian slapshot?

Hoisted on a musky petard?

Soon, please!

[CaptainTruth]

19. Fell off his shoe lifts & out a window?

[no_hypocrisy]

20. Tripped on his tie

[Katcat]

21. Girdle too tight?

Cut off all blood supply

[malaise]

22. No but there are 90 days to his 79th birthday

and since it falls on a Saturday lightning or a golf cart hitting him in the bunker would be a great present for the planet.

[electric_blue68]

32. Can you imagine... The Celebration Roar of Shocked Joy starts wherever the News breaks first then Swiftly Circles the

Globe!!!!!

USA Blue Cities instantly employ all the Fireworks they were saving for *
July 4th!

*unless, of course, it is The Fourth!

The lightshow can be seen as a glow in the far distant rural areas. Blue ruralarians smile, and secretly agree to host a clandestine party.

The ISS sees the glows from high above and while for a pico second is startled but they realize by how it looks it's not WWIII!

Any UFO whizzing by tunes into radio & TV broadcasts to see what's happening.

Whales & dolphins leap for joy!

The joy is sopowerful: whereever s storming in the day the sun will break out! If it's still wintery: flowers will burst out of the ground, and on flowering bushes, and trees!


[well, hell .... that wuz fun!]

[malaise]

33. It will be...drumroll

Electric😀

[electric_blue68]

34. Indeed it will!

[chicoescuela]

23. One day, hopefully soon, we can answer very strongly YES

[bluestarone]

24. Not yet. I'm concerned about a possible undead happening. By this i mean, when he DOES die, could

the next thing be something like the CRAWLING BRAIN effect?

[louis-t]

25. Sink hole at Mar-a-Dumpo?

Elon Jr puts a booger on his desk causing germaphobic recoil over the back of his chair and hits his head on a gold statue of himself? (Hey, that one was pretty good!) Face plants on (not just a slippery ramp but) a very, very, very, very, very, very, very slippery ramp?

[Krazy_Kat]

26. This is the #1 question I ask Alexa!

So I'm thinking won't be long before I get a knock on my door.

[LW1977]

27. Ice mistook him for a Martian because of his orange skin.,

The Space X rocket bringing him back to Mars exploded.

[republianmushroom]

28. Not yet, maybe later today or tomorrow.

hopes and prays

[niyad]

29. Plenty of time yet today

[republianmushroom]

30. Yup

[Borderer]

31. Would being taken by an alligator whilst golfing count as "natural causes"?

... and thus something that it is OK to hope for? Doing something he loved. Relatively quick. Sustainable burial.