Is he dead yet?

[Orrex]

Taken out by Social Security beneficiaries in an understandable act of self-preservation?

Taken out by Smithsonian operatives in an understandable act of self-preservation?

Fatally stripped his gears during abrupt 180° on Canada?

[C_U_L8R]

1. Ketchup bottle smashed against wall.

Flying glass boomerang. Bled out all over his hamberders.

Anticipation.

[malaise]

2. No but if lying was a disease

even his bones would have decayed by now

[Joinfortmill]

3. I'm praying now. If I end up in hell with him. So be it.

[CaptainTruth]

4. Unfortunate accident while inspecting an A-10 Warthog?

[benfranklin1776]

5. Drowned in an ocean of Elise Stefanik's tears?

Fatal blood clot from signing too many unconstitutional dictatorial executive orders?

Pummeled by righteously outraged veterans with the faulty AI hardware that will be answering their phone calls?

Tush pushed by the Eagles into the toilet during their White House visit?

[niyad]

6. Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened.

His one atom of self-awareness activates, and he offs himself?

[malaise]

9. I laugh with this daily

😀

[twodogsbarking]

7. Tried to ride a bicycle. Choked on gum while trying to chew it while walking.

[Celerity]

8. unfortunately no, he is not dead yet

[surfered]

10. The Praetorian Guard poisoned the Cheetos

[SheltieLover]

11. Dug hole attempting to get out of sand trap & fell through?

Pelted with snowballs by angry Greenlanders?

Laughed off the world stage, slipped & had a tragic fall...

Rebuffed by President Zelenskyy & the entire free world, injuring his snowflake fefes & causing a stroke.

Hope springs eternal...

[Gordcanuck]

17. Uncertain, as he

felll into a sinkhole that opened under a sand trap at Bargo Cargo. Authorities fear the “ worst”, having found only a spat-up adult diaper at the edge of an underground river known to be an alligator passageway .

[SheltieLover]

18. Hahaha

Good one!

[Martin Eden]

12. Head spins 360 degrees, breaking his neck

Although he may be possessed by a demon, he is not Linda Blair.

[Meowmee]

13. If I'm still alive it will be a relief

I already drank one of the rose champagne I bought for the occasion.

[NNadir]

14. Killed by the flames when his hairspray propellant to keep his combover from blowing away catches fire?

[3auld6phart]

15. Nope

Dang what a shame. , it’s getting worse by the day.

[paleotn]

16. When he is, it's going to be one hell of a party! One for the ages!!!

[birdographer]

19. You had me at "Taken out," Orrex. "Fatally" as well.

[58Sunliner]

20. Attacked by a rogue glacier while visiting Greenland?

Killed in his sleep by Melania who was having an OBE?

[republianmushroom]

21. The bad news not yet, but there are hopes and prays, (every night),

the good news we are day closer to that party day.

[Blue Owl]

22. Crashed his golf cart into Musk's Tesla and they both died in a massive explosion