Is he dead yet?

[Orrex]

Cardiac arrest during John Roberts' latest demonstration of intense obeisance?

Slashed by broken violin string while Rome burns?

Imprisoned forever due to clerical error?

[EYESORE 9001]

1. You should ask people in yonder mob

The ones with torches, pitchforks, barrels of tar, and a bunch of feathers. Some in that throng were formerly MAGAts.

[malaise]

2. No but unlawful acts like this will hasten the Third impeachment

https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/politics/us-justice-dept-mobilized-armed-marshals-to-warn-ex-lawyer-over-congressional-testimony-letter-shows/ar-AA1Csxqs

This highly unusual step of directing armed law enforcement officers to the home of a former Department of Justice employee who has engaged in no misconduct, let alone criminal conduct, simply to deliver a letter, is both unprecedented and completely inappropriate,” wrote attorney Michael Bromwich, who represents the fired attorney, in a letter to the Justice Department.

[surfered]

3. Crushed by the Dow Jones Industrial Average falling on him

[malaise]

4. Bwaaaah

😂😀😂

[MiHale]

5. Not yet but with the cuts to the Secret Service...maybe soon.🤞

[bdamomma]

6. A bad

supply of face makeup eating away his face????

[malaise]

13. Spitting coffee here

😂😂

[electric_blue68]

16. Who needs leapolds When you have Bad Batch Make Up!

[NNadir]

7. Stabbed in a live reenactment of Shakespeare's Julius Ceasar, "et tu, Bezos?"

[Dulcinea]

19. That's the image I can't get out of my head.

The Fascist Felon is given the Julius Caesar treatment by billionaires who have lost boatloads of money.

[bdamomma]

21. now that

would be interesting.

[Yo_Mama_Been_Loggin]

8. Blown to tiny putrid orange bits when his ego became too inflated

[C_U_L8R]

9. His girdle made an unscheduled rapid disassembly

and the sheer explosive force was too much for the flabby old bastard.

[twodogsbarking]

10. Went swimming with Melaaaaaaahniaaaaaaah and she drowned him.

Tossed him in the Everglades and got her hair colored.

[Tanuki]

11. Lightning bolt on golf course?

https://www.torch.aetc.af.mil/News/Article-Display/Article/365069/lightning-bolt-kills-golfer/
..."The 75-year-old golfer was out on the course with three other retired friends one Monday morning for a regular weekly tee time.

They teed off and got around to the back nine when it started to rain. When they spotted a little lightning way off in the distance, they headed toward the clubhouse. Halfway there, the rain turned into a heavy downpour, so they waited under a tree. When the rain let up a little bit, three of the foursome continued toward the clubhouse. But one of the men decided to wait it out under a 50-foot pine near the 11th hole.

Minutes later a lightning bolt struck his bag and push cart as he was holding onto one of his clubs. The white hot saber killed him instantly. They found his body 20 minutes later.

Photos from the scene show what was left of his driver and putter. Most of the items in the bag simply disintegrated from the heat and intense initial zap, including the labels to his Ping irons and Cleveland woods (which all popped off). The electricity burned holes into the bottoms of the clubs. The photos also show little brown clumps, which used to be golf balls. The power of the strike also left a large gash in the course that gave responding emergency personnel "goose bumps."...(more)

[niyad]

14. The local courses here sound alarms when there is lightning, or even

the possibility thereof, which means, "get off the damned course, you idiots!". And yet, it sems like at least once a year, we have a Darwin award winner.

The deceased and I are from a time when we were told to take shelter under the tallest available tree, which never made sense to me. Hello, lightning rod??? Apparently, he never figured it out. Pings?? Thati is some expensive molten metal.

[SheltieLover]

26. That would be the biggest, bestest lightening strike ever!

Can't give him a Darwin Award, though, as he has spawn...

[niyad]

36. Prior spawn does not count. It is about removing oneself from the gene pool henceforth.

[Dulcinea]

20. Like this?

This clip never gets old.

[bdamomma]

22. You never know

karma may happen.

[Joinfortmill]

40. Good one.

[hlthe2b]

12. ...

[58Sunliner]

31. LOL!

[niyad]

15. Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened.

Nemesis finally got back from vacation?

[Conjuay]

17. Over- exerted himself carrying home his latest Tournament trophy

[GopherGal]

33. Impaled upon his Tournament trophy after a slip/fall incident

while attempting to load it on the golf cart.

Hospitals won't release any information on the condition of the GOP congress critters, SC justices, and Faux Snooze hosts dislodged by the sudden arrival of the trophy in the orifice previously occupied by their heads.

[IronLionZion]

18. I like the last one

[mwb970]

23. I'm so tired of waiting.

[Wicked Blue]

24. Devoured by dire wolves

that were "accidentally" released on one of his golf courses.

The wolves were later euthanized due to uncontrolled vomiting and seizures.

[SheltieLover]

25. Fell off the Titanic while it was sinking?

Attacked by Dire Wolves?

Slapped too hard on the back by his puppetmaster, pootin?

Hope springs eternal...

[Ocelot II]

28. Dire wolves are back!

Right now they're just cute, but with a few packs roaming certain golf courses...
https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/07/science/dire-wolf-de-extinction-cloning-colossal/index.html

[SheltieLover]

29. My hope is they will seek revenge on those who are all in favor of arial gunning!

[Ocelot II]

27. WHY THE HELL ISN'T HE??

In a just universe with a merciful God he'd have been eaten by alligators during a fake golf tournament years ago.

[SheltieLover]

30. I couldn't agree more.

He and all his ilk.

[58Sunliner]

32. A black hole from another dimension ate him?

[republianmushroom]

34. Another day closer.

But we will get there.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

35. We are all waiting for his obituary

[NNadir]

37. This reminds me of an old Soviet joke I've heard at DU.

Every morning, a Soviet citizen walks up to the newsstand, buys a copy of Pravda, looks at the front page and throws it in the trash. He does this for months, and finally the newsstand guy can't stand it and asks the guy what's up.

The guy says, "I'm looking at the obituaries."

The newsstand guy says, "Those aren't on the front page; they're inside the paper."

The customer says, "The one I'm looking for will be on the front page."

[Blue Owl]

38. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE take him, Satan

He’s all yours…..

[Joinfortmill]

39. No, but I've said it before..

He's gonna piss off some old vet who has no more fucks to give.