Is he dead yet?

[Orrex]

Winked at by Hamas?

Accidentally shot by Kristi Noem in a promotional video?

Hit repeatedly over the head with a dinner plate? Death by china?

[SheltieLover]

1. Doge cut secret service...?

Inauguration doners, upset with plummeting stocks, band togethet to pummel him?

China made good on promise to continue to take 'resolute and forceful' countermeasures against him?

Hope springs eternal...

[MayReasonRule]

2. IsHeDeadYet.Com Is For Sale For Only... $19,888

Get it while it's hot!!!

Anybody, anybody?
Bueller, Bueller?

[malaise]

3. No but now he is pissing off

ReTHUGs

[C_U_L8R]

4. Tripped over his clown-lengthed red necktie

Garroted his neckgina and that was that.

[Celerity]

5. no, but I have hope

[surfered]

6. "Accidentally shot by Kristi Noem" you read my mind

[Martin Eden]

7. Kristi Noem only wounded him

The Liz Cheney's dad came by and shot him in the face with a hunting gun.

[Tanuki]

8. His worry that he "could be one of the diers" finally came true?

https://www.businessinsider.com/trump-coronavirus-i-could-be-one-of-the-diers-nymag-2020-10

"President Donald Trump recognized his own mortality following his COVID-19 diagnosis in a phone call last week, according to details published on Friday by New York Magazine's Intelligencer.

According to the article, the president painted a grim reality on October 3, a day after he and First Lady Melania Trump announced that they tested positive for COVID-19 and after he was transported to Walter Reed Medical Center to undergo testing and treatment.

"I could be one of the diers," Trump said during the call, repeating the line once more, according to the article. At the time, the US passed the grim milestone of more than 200,000 deaths from the coronavirus. As of Friday, October 9, less than a week after the call, the US death toll surpassed 213,000.

The statement comes in stark contrast from the largely optimistic tone Trump has adopted since his diagnosis. The president even initially resisted staying at Walter Reed, saying "I don't need to go. I'm fine. I'm fine. We have everything we need here," according to a person who spoke to him, Intelligencer's Olivia Nuzzi reported.
.....
"This thing could go either way," Trump said, citing the article. "It's tricky. They told me it's tricky. You can tell it can go either way."

[calimary]

26. "I could be one of the diers"??????????

“The diers”????????

Boy, now I really have heard everything.

[Tanuki]

33. I suppose it must be the opposite of being

"one of the livers"!

[calimary]

34. AHAAAAA! That must be IT!

[multigraincracker]

9. Someone rips off his shirt and

He dies of embarrassment.

[Joinfortmill]

22. Ugh! ROFL

[multigraincracker]

24. All we have now is a first hand account from Stormy.

[benfranklin1776]

10. Buried in an avalanche of angry bricks whose intelligence was unfairly maligned by being compared to him?

Smothered by a crowd of riotously outraged senior citizens who were turned away after seeking help from their now crippled Social Security offices?

Hounded to death by crypto scammers who got a hold of his personal data after DOGE sold it to them?

Stuffed into a couch by an irate JD Vance because he’s paying 5000 percent more for Chinese eyeliner due to his master’s trade war?

[twodogsbarking]

11. Secret Service says "we have hamberders at home". El Trumpo grabs the wheel to go to McDs and crashes into

coal truck.

[CaptainTruth]

12. Beaten by angry IRA investors who have nothing left to lose?

[dreamland]

13. Soon to be shot by birthday parade marchers.

[bronxiteforever]

14. Accidentally killed by RFKjr who was suffering a drug flashback

Kennedy hallucinated that TSF was an orange dye that he had banned.

[58Sunliner]

15. Whacked on the noggin by a vengeful caddy?

[Auggie]

16. Thanks for the laughs

[hlthe2b]

17. ...

Time to send in the...?

[Harker]

18. Decides he wants to be the second sitting president to ring the bell at the NYSE.

[niyad]

19. Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened.

[Joinfortmill]

20. This dude is playing a very dangerous game, fucking with people's retirement funds. IMPEACH this monster.

[WestMichRad]

21. Scientists' second de-extinction generates...

… a flock of velociraptors, which escape and run amok at the tub-o-lardo golf course. They corner and feast on an orange blob clutching a gold trophy.

Hey, it was a nice dream and I awoke with a smile!

[calimary]

28. That's it!

You made me laugh pretty doggone hard with the “tub-o-lardo golf course”. LOVE it!!!

Dammit, WestMichRad, I’m gonna be laughing about that one all day!

[bronxiteforever]

36. OMG

[634-5789]

23. Just saw my retirement statement....

... and I'm way too old to go get employment, I hope that fat orange traitor suffers unmercifully for his goddamn tariff folly. I EAGERLY await that miserable assholes' demise

[IronLionZion]

25. Retaliatory head bop from little bunny foo foo

[orleans]

27. loved the "death by china"

that's really funny!

[Wicked Blue]

29. Drowned in a butt of malmsey

like the Duke of Clarence.

That or an exploding golf trophy.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

30. Am I a bad person?

[Orrex]

31. If that makes me a bad person, then I don't want to be good.

[calimary]

35. Well, that's one of the things news people would do.

Get to the newsroom, check the wires first thing, check what everybody else in the newsroom is doing/covering/writing about/going out to cover - that kind of thing.

Most newsrooms, ESPECIALLY the big ones, already have his obit written - everything BUT the opening paragraph. You have all the bio stuff and the biggest stuff and the most recent stuff already written and ready to go. His story would be a long one already, without the - um - shall we say - last words.

[republianmushroom]

32. Not yet, damn, but the only good news, we are a day closer.

Don't care, bad person or not will party the day he dies.