Is he dead yet?

[Orrex]

Killed single-handedly by an eyepatch-wearing Tom Cruise>?

Gunned down and dynamited during a private screening at a theater?

Killed in an unfortunate shmelting accident?

[SheltieLover]

1. Mistaken for law abiding citizen & disappeared to El Salvadore?

Hit by a stray projectile during maga celebration of anniversary of Lincoln's assassination?

The Grim Reaper decided on facilitating a rare celebratory event?

Dorothy pulled back the curtain so magats could see the true, useless, lying wizard?

Hope springs eternal...

[NewHendoLib]

2. TY for this cathartic DU tradition

[C_U_L8R]

3. He did an Elvis on his golden throne.

No one gave a shit.

[Dulcinea]

24. That would be poetic justice.

Well played!

[True Dough]

4. Just to nitpick a little

Killed in an unfortunate shmelting accident?

I would argue that there would be nothing at all unfortunate about that scenario.

[SheltieLover]

6. ...

[surfered]

5. Infection from shooting himself in the foot with tariffs

[SocialDemocrat61]

7. Eaten by an alligator

while golfing in Florida 😉

[mnhtnbb]

14. That's my favorite

while the Secret Service stands by and watches!

[WestMichRad]

8. Attacked by angry birds

… retaliating for removal of migratory bird protections.

[malaise]

9. No but he provided more evidence for treason charges

yesterday.
Hopefully he end up in said prison

[hlthe2b]

10. ...

[dreamland]

11. Stabbed by his lapel pin.

[no_hypocrisy]

12. Overdose of Viagra.

(They'll never be able to close the coffin . . . . )

[GopherGal]

16. I can't see why a bump that tiny would get in the way of closing the coffin...

per Stormy's info...

[Frasier Balzov]

27. Didn't Stormy report a miniature at full mast?

[samnsara]

13. falling from 30,000 feet in a burning plane

..into the ocean full of sharks

[lapfog_1]

17. and batteries

never forget the batteries

[twodogsbarking]

15. Betty White feeds him.

[Wicked Blue]

18. Toxic fumes from one of his red ties dyed with cinnabar, on a hot day

Cinnabar when heated releases toxic mercury fumes

[dchill]

19. Painted over by the absent-minded ghost of Bob Ross?

Vandyke brown? Pthalo blue? CADMIUM YELLOW!

[republianmushroom]

20. Not yet, damn, but we are another day to that great party,

when the orange turd is finally flushed.

[niyad]

21. Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened.

Still, it is yet early. One dares to dream.

[mvd]

22. Stroked out after another tantrum against CBS?

[yardwork]

23. Found out that Heinz is moving production to Mexico.

Hit by a flying shard of ketchup bottle, blinded in both eyes, fell downstairs.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

25. Please remember to wash your hands

[Ocelot II]

26. Not today, so far. But maybe tomorrow.

And if not tomorrow, maybe the day after that. Someday it will happen, though. I wish I could be more patient, but some day the answer will be Yes, and we can have that party.

[Ocelot II]

28. You need this hat.

[ShazzieB]

29. OMG, I ❤️🤍💙 that!

[SheltieLover]

31. I want one!!!

[Blue Owl]

30. Oh Lord, please smite his fat ass

[colorado_ufo]

32. Poetic justice:

He has a fatal heart attack on a golf course, but dies before he sees the ball roll into the hole for the only "hole in one" of his life!
Gets buried next to Ivana, without a marker.