The Borowitz Report-Harvard to Award Trump Honorary Doctorate for Making its Approval Rating Soar

[LetMyPeopleVote]

Harvard to Award Trump Honorary Doctorate for Making its Approval Rating Soar
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

— Ray Beckerman (@raybeckerman.bsky.social) 2025-04-17T12:45:09.764Z

Link to tweet

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-does-the-impossible-by-making

CAMBRIDGE, MA (The Borowitz Report)—To show thanks for making its approval rating soar, Harvard University announced on Thursday that it would award Donald J. Trump an honorary doctorate.

The Ivy League institution, deeply despised by Americans since its founding in 1636, released a statement thanking Trump for his “game-changing service to Harvard.”

In the statement, Harvard said that it had received Trump’s biggest public relations boost since the one he bestowed on Volodymyr Zelenskyy in the Oval Office.

“Donald J. Trump may not have built a wall with Mexico or annexed Canada,” the statement read. “But he has done something far more monumental: made Americans like Harvard.”

[jls4561]

1. What department will award the degree?

Can’t be arts and humanities since Fat Donnie has neither.
Can’t be the sciences or medicine since bleach drinking was not awarded the Nobel.
Can’t be business, since there is no degree of bankruptcy.
Can’t be engineering since the gilded toilet is not an invention, it’s just tacky.
Can’t be government because he doesn’t believe in it.
Can’t be economics, because LOOK AT WTF he’s doing to it.

I was unaware of Harvard’s plans to create a school of cheating at golf.