how Gucci bag was stolen

[struggle4progress]

By John Miller, Josh Campbell and Kit Maher, CNN
Updated 3:46 PM EDT, Tue April 22, 2025

The man who allegedly stole a Gucci bag loaded with cash from Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem was sitting at the table next to hers, according to video of Sunday’s incident reviewed by Secret Service investigators.

The surveillance footage of the incident at The Capital Burger restaurant in Washington, DC, showed the suspect purposefully moving close to Noem as he zeroed in on her Gucci bag near her feet, a law enforcement source said.

The thief, dressed in dark clothing, sat down at an empty table next to Noem with his back facing her and used his left foot to slide the bag away, the source said. He surveyed the restaurant before eventually picking up the bag, covering it with his jacket and leaving.

Only when Noem got up from the table did she realize her bag was missing, the source said ...

https://www.cnn.com/2025/04/22/politics/kristi-noem-theft-gucci-bag-details/index.html

Well, it just sounds like an innocent ordinary everyday mix-up to me. I still feel sure that Kristi can keep us all safe from jumping puppies and skaggy goats

[Native]

1. Guess who'll be going to El Salvador?

[struggle4progress]

2. All the black people who live near DC?

[Native]

3. nailed it

[sop]

4. Has she blamed MS-13 yet?

[Meowmee]

5. I thought it was a Hermes not a Gucci?

I think they made a mistake. I saw on X the real thief is actually a yellow lab.😹

[TheBlackAdder]

46. Perhaps it wasn't stolen and is still there. Like an episoide of Columbo, The Magician, or JFL Gags...

[sheshe2]

6. Yikes.

The Hamburgerler must have really long legs or a very big foot to stretch it backwards to reach her table and pocketbook!!! With his back to her and the purse he was just groping blindly. Weird not one person noticed his stretched appendage.

This whole story is frankly...Un-FUGGING believable.

The Capital Burger DC


https://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g28970-d13636022-Reviews-The_Capital_Burger-Washington_DC_District_of_Columbia.html#/media/13636022/?albumid=-183&type=ALL_INCLUDING_RESTRICTED&category=-183

[SheltieLover]

7. There you go thunking again, She!

[sheshe2]

9. What can I say?

It's kinda like a 6 year old saying "my dog ate my homework".

I mean seriously!

[SheltieLover]

22. Oh, I know!

[soldierant]

25. Well.....

[tanyev]

10. Rose Mary Woods' grandson?

Nixon’s secretary, Rose Mary Woods, demonstrates how she must have “accidentally” deleted audio from the Nixon’s White House tapes.

[sheshe2]

12. Bwahahahahaha

Good one!

[ms liberty]

21. I remember that photo

[orangecrush]

30. ...

[Cha]

14. Great.. Thanks for the Photo, she... The description

of how the Thief got her bag Made Absolutely No sense to me either.

Wasn't the bag on the table? How could his leg have anything to do with what was on the table?

Way to look out, puppy killer.

[sheshe2]

15. Supposedly it was at her feet.

How could he have snatched it quickly with his back to her. Eyes in the back of his head perhaps?!

The tables aren't even close together! The story is BS! A cover up and not a very good one.

[Cha]

20. Oh! I had a bus to catch

I didn’t have time to go back and read it again..

You’d think she would keep it close to her feet if she was going to keep it on the floor.

Mahalo!🕯️🕊️💙🌈

[allegorical oracle]

38. An early report of the theft said she had $3,000 with her so she could buy dinner

for everybody who was with her. DC is expensive, but did she think dinner at a burger joint was going to cost $3,000?

Guess we can all sleep tight now that she's in charge of the nation's security.

[Cha]

42. The Irony is OFF the Freaking Charts!

We Knew Noem Would Do a Piss Poor Job AnywaY.. she's working for Mumputin and she killed an innocent puppy dog.

Nothing is safe around her.

Thanks!

[returnee]

45. And why would that require cash? n/t

[spooky3]

34. Agree. And if he missed the purse slightly, he would have hit

Her foot or a guest’s foot. How could he be so precise with his back to the purse?

[sheshe2]

37. My thoughts as well, spooky.

I mean, seriously! They sure could have come up with a better story!

[ShazzieB]

39. Sounds pretty wild...but those chairs would be a lot closer together with people sitting in them.

They're pushed right up against the tables in the photo. Imagine two people sitting back to back with their bodies between their chairs and their tables, and the distance between them shrinks quite a bit.

And don't forget, there was video. I have a feeling things probably look very, very different on there. All of which is to say, I don't think the story is necessarily impossible to believe.

I am NOT defending Noem in any way; it sounds like she was probably distracted and not paying attention to what was going on behind her. I'm just saying that I think that imagining those chairs filled with people makes this scenario more believable.

[imanamerican63]

8. I still think it was a set up!

[sheshe2]

13. It's chock full of so much bullshit...

I will have to pull on my hip waders to slog through it all.

[sdfernando]

36. Sounds like a pretty classic

payoff drop to me.

If a bag of the same type had been substituted for hers, would she say “She’s gone meatless” ?!?!?!

[GreenWave]

11. Did we miss the real crime here?

a Gucci bag loaded with cash

[dchill]

17. The "thief" was probably supposed to leave an identical bag...

... containing Ketamine and Botox. And some meth for Corey!

[Shipwack]

19. What makes you think she was truthful about the contents?

Let’s ignore the fishy alleged method (have they released the video?), why she would be carrying $3000 cash (is her credit so bad she isn’t allowed even a debit card?), etc.

These people lie as naturally as breathing. I would not be surprised if it turned out she had something else in there she’s not listing publicly.

An unregistered (or otherwise illegal) handgun?

Classified documents?

Burner phone for calling the Kremlin?

[True Dough]

24. Was the currency

Russian rubles?

[niyad]

16. This version is even more stupid than the original. She didn't feel his foot

shifting around? Nobody noticed his weird contortions? As I did yesterday, I call BS!!!

[dchill]

18. Am I wrong to think that the Secret Service...

...needs to be democratized?

[Cha]

23. lol you're Not wrong!

[Prairie Gates]

26. Thief my ass

We call that an agent or an operative, maybe an asset.

Dude ran a straight op on the head of DHS in a crowded restaurant. It wasn't Slipping Jimmy. More like Phillip Jennings.

Why haven't they released the footage to the public? For an ordinary thief, you'd release it for leads.

[Aviation Pro]

31. At least it wasn't a Chicago sunroof

Or some such shit.

[FalloutShelter]

27. Who puts a $4,500 Gucci handbag on a

Gross Burger joint floor? Seriously?

[Prairie Gates]

41. Great question. Unfortunately, if anyone was going to do it, it would be this one

[orangecrush]

28. Brush pass

[Warpy]

29. I'd like to see her at least asked where all that cash came from

Bank windows aren[t going to disgorge that much and why the hell wouldn't she be paying for everything with a credit card?

This story doesn't add up at all but nothing she's ever done has really added up, has it?

[Beacool]

32. It couldn't have happened to a more deserving POS.

Zero figs given. I hope that the guy bought himself something nice with the $3K.

[Chicagogrl1]

33. This is what happens to puppy murderers

Karma baby! Couldnt of happened to a better person. Can’t believe the SS let someone sit next to her. Someone was definitely asleep @ the wheel.

[3825-87867]

35. Well, the storage in the bath tub was too obvious and used...

so the switch was made so Putin could get the latest updates. Bagman got his fee, Xisty got her excuse and the Xpys lived happily ever after.
And the SS? Maybe too prophetic an abreviation? After all, we all know SOME were sympathetic to tramp in his first term. Wonder if those are the same SS as he had then? Requiring minds want to know!

[IronLionZion]

40. Average Americans always have a Gucci bag with $3000 cash

Did the thief somehow know she had that much cash to inspire such a brazen heist?

I hope she enjoyed her burger. I've been to The Capital Burger many times over the years and it is legit excellent. While I disagree with her politics, the woman has good taste in burgers.

[Meowmee]

43. I would prefer if she had choked on the burger

More fitting for a puppy murderer fascist.

[Kid Berwyn]

44. The nation's defender of public safety is unable to protect her own purse.

Thanks, Putin!