Is he dead yet?

[Orrex]

Fatal bout of salmonella in the wake rolled back safety limits?

Frozen to death in dubious geoengineering project to reflect sunlight?

Keeled over at the thought of spending 2.5 hours at a funeral where no one will even tell him how special he is?

[True Dough]

1. Jinpinged into oblivion

Donny the bully is learning the hard way that he doesn't wield as much power as he thought.

[C_U_L8R]

2. At his autopsy...

pathologists were astounded to find the only human example of a self-sustaining fatberg*
and amazed that he'd managed to survive anywhere near this long. The 6'2" congealed mass (5'10" minus lifts)
is being studied and may become a Smithsonian exhibit as a warning to all.

*https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2017/sep/12/total-monster-concrete-fatberg-blocks-london-sewage-system

[niyad]

9. Thank you for that link.

[surfered]

3. #3 cracked me up.

Pushed off stage by world leaders after elbowing his way to the front for the photo at Pope’s funeral.

[Joinfortmill]

4. Sadly, no.

[twodogsbarking]

5. Put Hegseth in charge of refueling air force one.

In case of water event use your seat cushion as a flotation device. Sharks like to top feed.

[twodogsbarking]

6. Pope corpse grabs his neck and squeezes until his head pops off like a Champagne cork.

[NoSheep]

7. Spontaneous combustion?

[niyad]

8. Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened.

Still, the day is yet young. One dares to dream.

[58Sunliner]

10. Struck dead by lightening at the pope's funeral? Lost in the Bermuda Triangle?

[SheltieLover]

11. Sadly, not yet, but the day is young & hope springs eternal...

[dreamland]

12. Tripped at Pope's funeral procession trying to get in front of the cameras

[hlthe2b]

13. ...

[malaise]

14. No but I'm hoping he thinks

he knows more than the pilots on AF1 as he heads to the pope’s funeral.

[Harker]

15. Thrown under the bus...

and not metaphorically?

[republianmushroom]

16. Not yet, but, the day is not over.

With any kind of luck, it will happen.

[bluestarone]

17. Almost. ICE arrested him, thinking he was

A IMPOSTER president.

[TBF]

18. Maybe if we start selling "Obama 2028" hats -

in response to his own latest grift, it will be enough to trigger a major coronary

[Blue Owl]

19. Crushed by a hastily-installed 100-ft. flagpole on the White House lawn