Sun Jan 22, 2012, 04:12 PM

I wish women in the U.S. automatically kept their last names when they marry

It's close to impossible to locate women friends from school or childhood, because marriage annihilates their name. The dissolving of the woman's name upon marriage is encouraged and associated as somehow being a romantic act.

Men can be located easily because they change nothing when they get married. They remain themselves.

Easier in Europe, where everyone keeps their last name when they get married.

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296 replies	Author	Time	Post
I wish women in the U.S. automatically kept their last names when they marry (Original post)	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	OP
I've never changed my last name...	HipChick	Jan 2012	#1
Ha! :) Isn't it easier though? People remain themselves. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#3
I'm a bra-burning feminist and refuse to be an appendage of my husband..	HipChick	Jan 2012	#39
More than three decades ago, there was a trend of women either keeping their original	no_hypocrisy	Jan 2012	#2
It's insane. I think it's the American romanticizing of the dissolution of the woman's name. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#9
I had my own name for years then I added the hypen. I still get looks and grief about that!	Peregrine Took	Jan 2012	#60
Well, there's no doubt that right wing fake feminists brought us back to the Father Knows Best era	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#103
Yeah, Michelle Obama (nee Robinson) is such a disappointment, stuck in the 1950s (nt)	Nye Bevan	Jan 2012	#124
I will never understand why women do this	Skittles	Jan 2012	#4
Me neither. I think in the U.S., women doing away with their name is romanticized. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#11
I hated my maiden name because I was	Seedersandleechers	Jan 2012	#33
I understand your point of view.	CaliforniaPeggy	Jan 2012	#5
+100	stockholmer	Jan 2012	#35
Thank you...I appreciate your support. n/t	CaliforniaPeggy	Jan 2012	#40
Your experience mirrors mine.	classof56	Jan 2012	#75
Thank you! Blessings to you as well...:) n/t	CaliforniaPeggy	Jan 2012	#101
And that's how it should be. It's her choice.	Zalatix	Jan 2012	#163
Thank you!	October	Jan 2012	#170
Kudos to you for not letting your awful young life embitter you to loving someone!	CaliforniaPeggy	Jan 2012	#171
Thanks for the hugs and warm support, CaliforniaPeggy. <3	October	Feb 2012	#296
Exactly!	MissB	Jan 2012	#178
Hated mine too.	Jennicut	Jan 2012	#196
it would help with geneology work too.	arely staircase	Jan 2012	#6
It would definitely help with genealogy. Women are often lost forever because of the identity	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#34
An excellent observation	The Genealogist	Jan 2012	#145
Where in Europe does "everyone keep their last name when they get married?"	Renew Deal	Jan 2012	#7
Spain, France, Italy. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#12
Not true for France	muriel_volestrangler	Jan 2012	#41
As wiki says, in France, women retain their birth certificate name	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#46
And yet some women are known by their married name	muriel_volestrangler	Jan 2012	#92
Not at all. My mom sometimes (almost never) might add my father's name as follows:	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#96
Your mum, even if she is French, does not show that "everyone keeps their last name"	muriel_volestrangler	Jan 2012	#116
Oi vei, okay, believe as makes you feel best. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#117
It's not a question of 'belief', it's fact	muriel_volestrangler	Jan 2012	#125
Psst, reread the wiki clip, it also says that.	uppityperson	Jan 2012	#193
I know; she highlighted some of it, and seems to have ignored the rest	muriel_volestrangler	Jan 2012	#205
That is rather funny and shows the opposite point.	uppityperson	Jan 2012	#192
Italy? When Did That Start?	ProfessorGAC	Jan 2012	#206
Your grandparent's were siblings?!?!	Kellerfeller	Jan 2012	#217
"n Italy since 1975 a woman legally keeps her birth name..."	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#254
Is this an "America... bad!" post or a "Men... bad!" post?	cherokeeprogressive	Jan 2012	#8
It's a, "Why are we romanticizing women destroying their names" post. :) nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#14
"Destroying" is a loaded, hyperbolic, emotional and foolish way of saying "choosing to change".	Donald Ian Rankin	Jan 2012	#128
Double-barrelled names	Ron Obvious	Jan 2012	#139
But men are never expected to change their last name. In fact...	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#150
Mostly true, but not relevant to the morality of it.	Donald Ian Rankin	Jan 2012	#151
Perhaps so, but it indicates that it's a sexist throwback to the	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#152
Sure, but again, not relevant to the morality of doing it today.	Donald Ian Rankin	Jan 2012	#157
It is quite related to what's happening today.	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#158
It didn't seem to hurt Antonio Villaraigosa nt.	harmonicon	Jan 2012	#173
NZ rugby league player Robbie Paul changed his name to Hunter-Paul	SwissTony	Jan 2012	#182
I'm sure we can find exceptions somewhere. They are exceptions, tho. ;-) nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#253
Yes, there are. Rugby League is an exceptionally macho game.	SwissTony	Jan 2012	#266
Rugby is a wild, rough game! I first watched it in Spain. Was amazed! nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#267
Rory Pond disagrees	krawhitham	Jan 2012	#251
Yes? Brides are out there asking the groom to take the bride's mother's surname? :) nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#252
some do keep it, some just add the husband's name to theirs so you can check middle	JI7	Jan 2012	#10
That's how it was in my family	arcane1	Jan 2012	#27
My maiden name is now my middle name.	a la izquierda	Jan 2012	#114
I was given two middle names at birth, with one of them being my mother's maiden name.	Withywindle	Jan 2012	#159
I always thought it was odd	pipi_k	Jan 2012	#185
We got married in 95 and that was my choice.	davsand	Jan 2012	#87
That's another issue I hadn't thought of before I posted my difficulty in locating friends - that	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#100
I know a couple who both changed their last name to the same, new name. nt	ZombieHorde	Jan 2012	#13
The current mayor of Los Angeles did that.	CaliforniaPeggy	Jan 2012	#16
Interesting! nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#32
Was that BEFORE he cheated on her?	U4ikLefty	Jan 2012	#81
They did the name change at their marriage, so yes, it was before. n/t	CaliforniaPeggy	Jan 2012	#102
So is the great Antonio married to her now?	U4ikLefty	Jan 2012	#160
They may be divorced now...I haven't kept up with their hijinks... n/t	CaliforniaPeggy	Jan 2012	#162
It was after round 1 of cheating, but before the final round. nt.	harmonicon	Jan 2012	#176
When I got married, my name was changed. I thought it was so ROMANTIC for me to lose my identity	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#19
I thought both of them changing their name was Romantic. nt	ZombieHorde	Jan 2012	#28
Lol Major confusion then. Nobody would retain their identity. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#31
My wife didn't change her name when we got married.	MineralMan	Jan 2012	#15
she is awesome, and she married an awesome guy!	Skittles	Jan 2012	#18
Ya, she is awesome, and I hope I deserve her.	MineralMan	Jan 2012	#42
If you read my post #5, you'll get an idea...n/t	CaliforniaPeggy	Jan 2012	#20
Sure. I understand. I don't have a problem	MineralMan	Jan 2012	#38
I agree. It's pretty crazy! nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#21
I wouldn't have either	johnnie	Jan 2012	#88
Well, that's a good point, certainly.	MineralMan	Jan 2012	#144
My dear, American Women have to jump through hoops to change their names	Demeter	Jan 2012	#17
Betcha there would be a whole big to-do if women required men to change their name and identity	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#23
Women are "required" to do this?	jberryhill	Jan 2012	#219
What about the children? Should they	B Calm	Jan 2012	#22
In Spain 2 names are used: the mother's and the father's. For example...	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#26
I learned something today, thanks.	B Calm	Jan 2012	#36
Thank you. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#104
This message was self-deleted by its author	Obamanaut	Jan 2012	#24
EXACTLY right! n/t	CaliforniaPeggy	Jan 2012	#29
Boy oh boy, I don't.....	Tikki	Jan 2012	#25
Then you'd be the daughter of his parents. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#30
Hah...My father-in-Law was like my only father...He used to call...	Tikki	Jan 2012	#49
You'd be his sister! And the implications of that... would be interesting. :) nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#51
Maybe you are you are your own grandma?	whistler162	Jan 2012	#83
I changed mine.	Neoma	Jan 2012	#37
Maybe so, but now your brain hurts. :) nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#43
I know what you are saying. My last name	B Calm	Jan 2012	#52
I did (2 decades ago)	etherealtruth	Jan 2012	#44
You kept your name 30 years ago? That's unusual and GREAT! I agree. Particularly now with women	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#53
No, no 20 years ago :-)	etherealtruth	Jan 2012	#58
Me too! I think it's particularly crazy when things are addressed as, "Mrs. John Smith" - then	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#78
Not to mention the implications...	mzteris	Jan 2012	#45
It is an indication of subservience and ownership. No doubt about that. The romanticizing of it	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#50
It's like bragging , ooo look	mzteris	Jan 2012	#54
If that's what it is, how incredibly sad that such a thing become one's primary goal in life. :( nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#105
CORRECT	Skittles	Jan 2012	#90
depends on age.. younger women (<35) tend to be keeping their maiden name or hyphenating..	ddeclue	Jan 2012	#47
I have found there are women I was friends with whom no one I know can locate due to the ID	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#48
I'm married 25 years and I kept my own last name (I'm <50) nt	riderinthestorm	Jan 2012	#55
On the other hand, I didn't like my last name and had no pride	1monster	Jan 2012	#56
It's something to remember when building a Web site	DavidDvorkin	Jan 2012	#57
One would have to, since that name disappears. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#63
It survives on Classmates.com	DavidDvorkin	Jan 2012	#70
I see. Ok. It's funny but most people don't even know some married women's real names - only	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#76
My wife feels strongly that her married name is her real name	DavidDvorkin	Jan 2012	#132
I wish people would quit telling others what to do	joeglow3	Jan 2012	#59
What's wrong with discussing an interesting topic on a forum?	Peregrine Took	Jan 2012	#65
Read the topic title again	joeglow3	Jan 2012	#69
I don't see anyone telling another what to do .... ?	etherealtruth	Jan 2012	#71
Really? I would think step 1 before clicking on a topic title is to read it.	joeglow3	Jan 2012	#73
Wishing is not telling ....?	etherealtruth	Jan 2012	#77
You can play semantics all you want. The point remains the same.	joeglow3	Jan 2012	#82
Its not a semantics game	etherealtruth	Jan 2012	#91
I kept mine	graywarrior	Jan 2012	#61
Great!! I don't understand the point of it, unless the woman feels subservient. Very odd. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#66
The notion that others may prefer things other than what you do NEVER occurred, did it?	joeglow3	Jan 2012	#72
I'm sorry, but I am annoyed. I do NOT feel subservient to my husband.	CaliforniaPeggy	Jan 2012	#120
Thank you!	scorpiogirl	Jan 2012	#180
Now it's coming out	snooper2	Jan 2012	#207
I don't particularly want to be found by anyone from my childhood	Pool Hall Ace	Jan 2012	#62
I'm not sure it is as widespread in europe as you seem to think.	Quantess	Jan 2012	#64
In Spain, that's the only way it is. I lived there for many years. Not one of my female	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#68
It's a matter of choice really	lillypaddle	Jan 2012	#67
I don't think there's an individual pressure to do so, nope. I think it's a societal "pressure" and	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#74
You mean "societal pressure"	lillypaddle	Jan 2012	#79
I wish I'd have kept my maiden name. There are lots of people with my	madmom	Jan 2012	#80
Your daughter is a writer? That's great! Congrats, madmom!	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#84
Well she's trying to be, ...thanks	madmom	Jan 2012	#131
After my divorce I had the option of keeping my married name.	Hatchling	Jan 2012	#85
That would be a name change. I once encountered a surname, Penix, which definitely should have	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#99
Whose last name should the children get?	ecstatic	Jan 2012	#86
See response #22. I think that pretty much explains the European fashion for children's surnames -	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#98
Spain is in Europe but is not all of Europe. Most other countries in Europe go with family name, typ	uppityperson	Jan 2012	#194
Most countries don't expect women to take the last name of the groom's father.	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#230
They do in France. If you read the whole wiki bit you quoted, you would see that.	uppityperson	Jan 2012	#244
In Italy the wife keeps her family name and the children take the name of the father	Veruca Salt	Jan 2012	#291
Sign of the Times: All my female friends use both their names on Facebook.	Fawke Em	Jan 2012	#89
Great! The use of our own name is important. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#93
I'm in favor of a woman's right to choose on this issue.	Nye Bevan	Jan 2012	#94
Definitely forso genealogy it is WONDERFUL to keep it	HockeyMom	Jan 2012	#95
It IS wonderful. The younger generation will change the old, useless tradition. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#97
YEAH Michelle Obama (nee Robinson) is such a fuddy-duddy old traditionalist (nt)	Nye Bevan	Jan 2012	#122
Here's an interesting wiki article related to name changes after marriage worldwide	etherealtruth	Jan 2012	#106
Yes, it's a good article. We were using that to discuss French women using their own name	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#107
It's interesting to note that in Islam	etherealtruth	Jan 2012	#110
Even there! I lived in Spain for many years (my grandparents are full-blooded Spaniards) and	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#112
I think we're actually naming the Y chromosome	Duer 157099	Jan 2012	#108
Interesting theory. :) nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#115
It seems to me that a lotof women are using their original last name as a middle when married.	aikoaiko	Jan 2012	#109
I don't see it too much. I live in Florida, so it might be very old-fashioned and conservative here	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#113
I married a European and she changed her name...	JSnuffy	Jan 2012	#111
To each their own	tammywammy	Jan 2012	#118
They do. If they want to change their name they have to go change it.	RB TexLa	Jan 2012	#119
you wife doesn't share names with you.	dionysus	Jan 2012	#142
It's a personal choice, and should be. And what petty little reasons for wanting women to do what	apocalypsehow	Jan 2012	#121
And there are plenty of people that just don't want to be found.	tammywammy	Jan 2012	#123
Exactly - I hadn't thought of that but you're absolutely correct.	apocalypsehow	Jan 2012	#127
I wish people would focus on running their own lives, instead of other peoples'.	Warren DeMontague	Jan 2012	#126
I'd agree with that. n/t	vaberella	Jan 2012	#130
That's not true. The origin of women losing their names started in Europe & many women give it up.	vaberella	Jan 2012	#129
My 73-year-old mother has had three last names in her lifetime...	WorseBeforeBetter	Jan 2012	#133
This is already the case.	surrealAmerican	Jan 2012	#134
It does vary. You're right, no one is forced at gunpoint to do anything	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#149
It often makes genealogy impossible.	jwirr	Jan 2012	#135
I don't think going to oe common name for a couple is a bad thing nessesarily	Guy Montag	Jan 2012	#136
That's always been an option	tammywammy	Jan 2012	#137
Yes indeed! nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#148
My female european relatives took their husbands' names	TexasProgresive	Jan 2012	#138
LOL, when I got married my (ex) wife changed her WHOLE name.	Edweird	Jan 2012	#140
Wow! That's one heck of a change! nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#147
Yeah, but that's just how we rolled... Our wedding bands were tattoos.	Edweird	Jan 2012	#161
Were they cute tattoos? nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#229
Woven barbed wire.	Edweird	Jan 2012	#239
I guess one can have a tattoo refreshed? I've never known someone to do it	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#243
That chapter in my life is over.	Edweird	Jan 2012	#247
Oh. A tattoo fading is a good metaphor for the ending of a relationship	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#248
Women have to change their last names on DL's, S.S. etc	Mimosa	Jan 2012	#141
Exactly. Unless they petition a court, their legal name remains the same. Like in France per	uppityperson	Jan 2012	#197
Yes. You have to notify agencies of marriage. Correct. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#232
I'm taking my wife's name and giving mine up.	Bonobo	Jan 2012	#143
I didn't know that. Very interesting. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#146
That is possible in NY State	KamaAina	Jan 2012	#208
Changing your name is not automatic	karynnj	Jan 2012	#153
Here's what my post said:	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#156
I read what you wrote - and I pointed out that changing your name is NOT automatic	karynnj	Jan 2012	#165
I never said in my post that it was legally required. I did say that women were doing it	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#166
I would say it is seen as traditional - far more than romantic	karynnj	Jan 2012	#175
When Jane Roe marries John Doe, she becomes Mrs. John Doe, not Mrs. Jane Doe	FarCenter	Jan 2012	#172
Maybe as far as Emily Post is concerned, but that has nothing to do with what your name is	karynnj	Jan 2012	#179
My daughter never changed her name for legal and professional purposes, but also uses her husband's	FarCenter	Jan 2012	#187
Completely agree with you - thanks for the example	karynnj	Jan 2012	#188
They do automatically keep their last names	Charlemagne	Jan 2012	#154
This is what my original post says:	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#155
I got a Republican survey form in the mail and they	Ilsa	Jan 2012	#164
Ew! Well, Repukes are into that. :) They love female subservience a lot!	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#167
I never likedk that custom either. Think about it, your last name is your father's, most likely.	raccoon	Jan 2012	#168
That'd be fine. I think either both parents' surnames, and keep that forever like men do	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#169
Hi Sarah!	Sera_Bellum	Jan 2012	#190
Thanks, Sarah. It's always the same handful that come out anti when I post a pro-woman post. :)	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#233
I hyphenated. And agree with you.	glinda	Jan 2012	#174
I took my wife's surname	Paulie	Jan 2012	#177
Getting married didn't change who I am and it didn't change my name	REP	Jan 2012	#181
I'm thinking of hyphenating too - using my mom and dad's surnames with a hyphen.	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#234
My UNmarried name is hyphenated. If I added his, I'd have two hyphens.	REP	Jan 2012	#245
LOL! That'd be one hyphen too many. :) nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#250
In Holland, many women keep their own name	SwissTony	Jan 2012	#183
In Soviet Russia, your last name keeps you!	AngryAmish	Jan 2012	#213
Agreed...I've always said I'd pretty much insist my future wife keep her family name	Blue_Tires	Jan 2012	#184
Don't "insist". Let her choose; it's her decision (nt)	Nye Bevan	Jan 2012	#200
LOL my name is my own	Blue_Tires	Jan 2012	#201
I never thought of it like that.	Nye Bevan	Jan 2012	#202
You sound awesome! I hope you find a wonderful woman. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#235
I'm in the US and I kept my maiden name -	lynne	Jan 2012	#186
Well, it's a way of doing it without receiving criticism for keeping one's name?	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#236
My wife took my name with pleasure. nt.	Snake Alchemist	Jan 2012	#189
Then who gets to name the children?	AngryAmish	Jan 2012	#191
I explained on post #22. :) nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#237
I detested my maiden name and happily took my husband's name.	Jennicut	Jan 2012	#195
"Easier in Europe, where everyone keeps their last name when they get married". WRONG	uppityperson	Jan 2012	#198
But...but, in the Bible, Paul says that wives should submit to their husbands.	Zorra	Jan 2012	#199
He sure did say that, didn't he? Or so we're told. I'm reading a book that	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#238
Should the children still take their father's name?	Motown_Johnny	Jan 2012	#203
It is more reliable for geneology for children to take the mother's surname	FarCenter	Jan 2012	#209
Or have the names of both parents. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#240
did you ever hear the one about doubling a penny each day	Motown_Johnny	Jan 2012	#246
LOL! Spain has been doing it forever, as have ALL LATIN NATIONS	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#249
so you take both grandfather's names,	Motown_Johnny	Jan 2012	#269
Don't go giving me any ideas! I might act on them! lol I had some fantastic, kick-ass grandmas nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#270
I have no problem with that.	Rex	Jan 2012	#204
Perhaps they don't want to "locate" you.	RiffRandell	Jan 2012	#210
They DO automatically keep their last name	jberryhill	Jan 2012	#211
Seriously. I don't know why this isn't understood. IF you want to start using another name, you can	uppityperson	Jan 2012	#218
You don't know why this isn't understood?	jberryhill	Jan 2012	#221
Funny how "we've always done it" and/or societal expectations get taken as how we must	uppityperson	Jan 2012	#224
I wish I'd kept mine	stuntcat	Jan 2012	#212
I took my husband's name because it was the thing everyone did.	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#241
They do. The woman has to change it, otherwise her name stays the same.	TheManInTheMac	Jan 2012	#214
In a way, it's more anti-men	Ter	Jan 2012	#215
You can change your name just as easily as any woman	tammywammy	Jan 2012	#226
Name changes consist of filling out a form at the courthouse. I did it. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#231
Seems to me that your major gripe about this	iwillalwayswonderwhy	Jan 2012	#216
My wife doesn't use my last name.	99Forever	Jan 2012	#220
Exactly. It really isn't a complication for people to keep their last name. In fact, it's	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#242
My wife did.	WilliamPitt	Jan 2012	#222
Yep, I remember when I got married and became Mrs. (Put last name of my husband's father), I then	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#258
A guy I went to school with changed his name and took his wifes last name.	yourout	Jan 2012	#223
I did a name change in court. One doesn't really need an atty. It's easy as filling out a form. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#257
Women in the US do automatically keep their last name	slutticus	Jan 2012	#225
I do think Mr & Mrs Slutticus does have a nice ring to it. n/t	tammywammy	Jan 2012	#227
:) Yes, freaking the family out would not do at all. I try not to do too much of that to mine.	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#256
I remained myself	Dorian Gray	Jan 2012	#228
If the Wife keeps her name, which name do the kids get?	krawhitham	Jan 2012	#255
Before I gave up on trying to stay pregnant for 9 months, we agreed that a boy	eridani	Jan 2012	#288
I do too	Aerows	Jan 2012	#259
Good! :) nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#260
I wondered this: how do gay folks deal with names and marriage in general? Anybody?	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#261
I'll be keeping mine but only because his is too common.	ceile	Jan 2012	#262
Cool. It's interesting what people decide to do. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#263
My elaborate system to resolve this issue once and for all:	Hosnon	Jan 2012	#264
Cool ideas! nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#265
to be clear, are you advocating to remove the rights of women who wish to change their names?	maggiesfarmer	Jan 2012	#268
Right? lol It's a remnant from when women were subservient -	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#271
let me rephrase, since you didn't answer my question	maggiesfarmer	Jan 2012	#272
Re-read my original post, and then re-read what I just responded to you. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#274
I did. again. I'll try once more	maggiesfarmer	Jan 2012	#280
Return to my original post. Obviously, you are fishing for something that's not there	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#281
no, I'm not fishing. please take my questions at face value	maggiesfarmer	Jan 2012	#287
It should be up to the person	bigwillq	Jan 2012	#273
That goes without saying, since females are the ones encouraged to take the groom's father's surname	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#275
Then you can't fault the folks	bigwillq	Jan 2012	#276
I do wonder if men were "encouraged" to take the name of the bride's father, what they would do. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#277
I hope they would do	bigwillq	Jan 2012	#278
But the issue is that they are not encouraged to drop their name nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#282
No one forces anyone to do something they don't want to do	bigwillq	Jan 2012	#284
Did I say force? I said encouraged. They're encouraged to retain the	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#285
And maybe some women like it	bigwillq	Jan 2012	#286
I'm sure. And perhaps it should be encouraged of men (to take the bride's father's surname). nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#289
Fine by me	bigwillq	Jan 2012	#290
I will keep my maiden name and add my husband's name...no hypen.	blueamy66	Jan 2012	#279
I have no problems with a woman keeping their last names but if they do/did would it only annihitate	Synicus Maximus	Jan 2012	#283
In Spain, the child takes both last names, mom's and dad's. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#293
Here's a really good explanation of names in the country of my 4 grandparents:	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#292
I kept my name...both times ;)	KathieG	Jan 2012	#294
Good for you! I plan on doing the same. nt	Sarah Ibarruri	Jan 2012	#295

Response to Sarah Ibarruri (Original post)

Sun Jan 22, 2012, 04:13 PM

HipChick (25,462 posts)

1. I've never changed my last name...

but then again, I'm from Europe originally...

I wish women in the U.S. automatically kept their last names when they marry

1. I've never changed my last name...

3. Ha! :) Isn't it easier though? People remain themselves. nt

39. I'm a bra-burning feminist and refuse to be an appendage of my husband..

2. More than three decades ago, there was a trend of women either keeping their original

9. It's insane. I think it's the American romanticizing of the dissolution of the woman's name. nt

60. I had my own name for years then I added the hypen. I still get looks and grief about that!

103. Well, there's no doubt that right wing fake feminists brought us back to the Father Knows Best era

124. Yeah, Michelle Obama (nee Robinson) is such a disappointment, stuck in the 1950s (nt)

4. I will never understand why women do this

11. Me neither. I think in the U.S., women doing away with their name is romanticized. nt

33. I hated my maiden name because I was

5. I understand your point of view.

35. +100

40. Thank you...I appreciate your support. n/t

75. Your experience mirrors mine.

101. Thank you! Blessings to you as well...:) n/t

163. And that's how it should be. It's her choice.

170. Thank you!

171. Kudos to you for not letting your awful young life embitter you to loving someone!

296. Thanks for the hugs and warm support, CaliforniaPeggy. <3

178. Exactly!

196. Hated mine too.

6. it would help with geneology work too.

34. It would definitely help with genealogy. Women are often lost forever because of the identity

145. An excellent observation

7. Where in Europe does "everyone keep their last name when they get married?"

12. Spain, France, Italy. nt

41. Not true for France

46. As wiki says, in France, women retain their birth certificate name

92. And yet some women are known by their married name

96. Not at all. My mom sometimes (almost never) might add my father's name as follows:

116. Your mum, even if she is French, does not show that "*everyone* keeps their last name"

117. Oi vei, okay, believe as makes you feel best. nt

125. It's not a question of 'belief', it's fact

193. Psst, reread the wiki clip, it also says that.

205. I know; she highlighted some of it, and seems to have ignored the rest

192. That is rather funny and shows the opposite point.

206. Italy? When Did That Start?

217. Your grandparent's were siblings?!?!

254. "n Italy since 1975 a woman legally keeps her birth name..."

8. Is this an "America... bad!" post or a "Men... bad!" post?

14. It's a, "Why are we romanticizing women destroying their names" post. :) nt

128. "Destroying" is a loaded, hyperbolic, emotional and foolish way of saying "choosing to change".

139. Double-barrelled names

150. But men are never expected to change their last name. In fact...

151. Mostly true, but not relevant to the morality of it.

152. Perhaps so, but it indicates that it's a sexist throwback to the

157. Sure, but again, not relevant to the morality of doing it today.

158. It is quite related to what's happening today.

173. It didn't seem to hurt Antonio Villaraigosa nt.

182. NZ rugby league player Robbie Paul changed his name to Hunter-Paul

253. I'm sure we can find exceptions somewhere. They are exceptions, tho. ;-) nt

266. Yes, there are. Rugby League is an exceptionally macho game.

267. Rugby is a wild, rough game! I first watched it in Spain. Was amazed! nt

251. Rory Pond disagrees

252. Yes? Brides are out there asking the groom to take the bride's mother's surname? :) nt

10. some do keep it, some just add the husband's name to theirs so you can check middle

27. That's how it was in my family

114. My maiden name is now my middle name.

159. I was given two middle names at birth, with one of them being my mother's maiden name.

185. I always thought it was odd

87. We got married in 95 and that was my choice.

100. That's another issue I hadn't thought of before I posted my difficulty in locating friends - that

13. I know a couple who both changed their last name to the same, new name. nt

16. The current mayor of Los Angeles did that.

32. Interesting! nt

81. Was that BEFORE he cheated on her?

102. They did the name change at their marriage, so yes, it was before. n/t

160. So is the great Antonio married to her now?

162. They may be divorced now...I haven't kept up with their hijinks... n/t

176. It was after round 1 of cheating, but before the final round. nt.

19. When I got married, my name was changed. I thought it was so ROMANTIC for me to lose my identity

28. I thought both of them changing their name was Romantic. nt

31. Lol Major confusion then. Nobody would retain their identity. nt

15. My wife didn't change her name when we got married.

18. she is awesome, and she married an awesome guy!

42. Ya, she is awesome, and I hope I deserve her.

20. If you read my post #5, you'll get an idea...n/t

38. Sure. I understand. I don't have a problem

116. Your mum, even if she is French, does not show that "everyone keeps their last name"