Conspiracies About Furries in Schools Got Laughs. The Texas Lege Is Taking Them Dead Seriously.

[Nevilledog]

https://www.texasmonthly.com/news-politics/texas-schools-anti-furries-legislation/

No paywall link
https://archive.li/laTSX

As much of the state slept on Tuesday night, some Texas lawmakers were working late, pondering such weighty questions as: If you lick Cheeto dust off your fingers and someone sees you, is it possible they could assume you’re actually pretending to be a cat?

A strange query, sure. But given the potential consequences posed by the bill being heard, Representative James Talarico, a Democrat from Austin, felt it was worth discussing. If the answer is yes—if the act of tonguing your thumb clean of that last bit of Flamin’ Hot residue bares even a slight resemblance to how a feline grooms itself—then it is theoretically possible that someone might not see the cheddar on your hands and might thus confuse your finger licking with a sincere desire to live your life as a cat. And if you’re a Texas public school student, such a mishap could soon cause very real problems for you, your teacher, or your school.

The bizarre back-and-forth came just before midnight on Tuesday as the Texas House’s education committee debated legislation that would ban Texas public school students from engaging in what the bill’s author, Republican Representative Stan Gerdes, of Smithville, has deemed “non-human” behavior while on campus. Among the potentially forbidden behaviors: barking, meowing, wearing a leash, licking oneself or others for the purpose of grooming, and wearing a fur suit or anything else that is inconsistent with “behaviors or accessories typically displayed by a member of the homo sapiens species,” according to the bill.

Named the F.U.R.R.I.E.S. (Forbidding Unlawful Representation of Roleplaying in Education) Act, Gerdes’s bill aims to excise “furries”—the name typically ascribed to members of a subculture who don large, anthropomorphic costumes matching animal alter egos—from Texas public schools. The bill also bans students from using litter boxes instead of bathrooms. It’s the latest response to a conservative panic over a wave of hoaxes and debunked viral posts that claim schoolkids across America are choosing to identify as animals and that some school administrators are either turning a blind eye or actively aiding and encouraging the behavior. Governor Greg Abbott, who endorsed Gerdes’s bill, has himself helped spread these rumors: At a stop on his statewide tour promoting school-voucher legislation earlier this year, he told a group of pastors that in some parts of the state, “kids go to school dressed up as cats with litter boxes in their classrooms.”

*snip*

[MagickMuffin]

1. Dumb people electing dumb people

What could possibly go wrong? Perhaps dumb people believing in dumb shit.

Has Stan Gerdes witnessed this phenomenon first hand?

Yeah, probably not because it isn’t happening.


Dumb people!

[Vinca]

2. OMG - I've never heard of anything so freaking stupid. There's a contest I've been entering on the HGTV

site for a "dream home." This year's location is in Texas so there is no necessity of a discussion about taking the cash prize instead should I win. LOL.

[0rganism]

3. Since when is mimicry considered "non-human"?

Oh yeah, since half the country added batshit insane to an already dangerous level of stupidity. Well then, neve mind i guess.

[Lovie777]

4. I looked it up....................

are they effing serious?

[SARose]

5. Now you see me now you don't

Unh huh.

Don’t wanna talk about having to fund fed portion of Medicaid.

Don’t wanna talk about no more FEMA - not just folks on the coast, either. Texas has plenty of tornadoes and hail storms. Texas will use state funds to help Houstonians?

Don’t wanna talk about rivers and lakes going dry.

Don’t wanna talk about rural hospitals closing.

Don’t wanna talk about hungry kids.

Don’t wanna talk about the homeless especially not homeless vets.

And more.

So let’s waste taxpayers time and money and talk about utter BS. Why not?

🤬🤬🤬

[Danmel]

6. We get calls like this my office

I work for a state rep.
People actually believe there are litterboxes for kids who identify as cats. It's mind numbingly stupid.
That said, life as one of my kitties is actually quite appealing.

[odins folly]

8. I hope you let them know

The litter boxes are so little kids can use the restroom while THEY ARE LOCKED DOWN BECAUSE OF AN ACTIVE SHOOTER SITUATION.

Sorry, not yelling at you, just the fucked actual reason for those boxes...

[meadowlander]

7. For what it's worth though, their acronym game is on point.

Now imagine what we could accomplish if they were applying it to something that advanced humanity.

[Initech]

9. How much does it cost to move to Vancouver?

[MorbidButterflyTat]

10. It's all performative grift

I'm sure the fundraising emails have been making the rounds, repeatedly.

"Help us to keep demonic litter boxes out of our sacred schools!! Send money NOW!!"

[jmowreader]

11. Why do I suspect...

…that if this dumb-ass bill gets signed 90 percent of Texas teens will bark or meow at school just to piss off their teachers?

[Rebl2]

12. Had they

been drinking? This is asinine. So if I am eating some excellent Texas bbq (hypothetically) using my hands I am supposed to not lick that bbq sauce off my fingers!?

[LetMyPeopleVote]

13. My high school civics teacher/debate coach taught me something that remains true today

No true Texan can sleep soundly while the Texas legislature is in session

[tanyev]

14. The Texas Legislature meets in regular session every two years, in odd-numbered years, lasting for 140 calendar days.

And this is how they’re using the time.