Joni Ernst: Chriiiiist, What An Asshole

[Zorro]

Let them eat hog balls.

Here at Wonkette, we’ve been on the “Joni Ernst is an asshole” beat ever since the Iowa senator first slithered out of her state’s numerous cornfields with her hog castration knife clenched firmly between her no-nonsense Midwestern teeth.

We had kind of forgotten just how much of an asshole Ernst is until we went trawling through our archives, because at this point a lunatic senator who made her election calling card the fact that she’s cut the balls off of hogs, believes in Agenda 21, promised to have state law enforcement arrest any federal officials trying to implement Obamacare, and screams “Woke!” at everything like a parakeet with a head injury is simply par for the course. The crazy has fully taken over, and now the entire GOP resembles a horde of those infected flower people in “The Last of Us.”

And yet, our jaw still somehow dropped this weekend when Ernst almost literally told her constituents to fuck off and die at a town hall, then doubled down on the sentiment in a video that she filmed in a goddamn graveyard. How Iowans are not outside her house right now waving pitchforks and pelting her with pig testicles is beyond us.

To briefly recap: Last week, Ernst was holding a town hall with her constituents, something most Republicans in Congress have been avoiding for the last four months, lest they have to hear some very uncomfortable questions from voters. Questions like why are you limpdicked douche noodles sitting on your butts while a reportedly ketamine-addled billionaire rolls back the entire 20th century while lining his own pockets to build rockets that it feels like barely clear the launch tower before they explode?

https://www.wonkette.com/p/joni-ernst-chriiiiist-what-an-asshole

I admire Wonkette's perspective on politics.

[malaise]

1. Miss Hoggie really effed up

Down she goes

[MyOwnPeace]

3. We can only hope..........

but I have NO faith in it actually happening.
We thought the same fate for Teddy Cruz, Dear Lindsey, and others of that ilk.
Then again, who’da thunk ANYBODY would vote for TACO!

[cannabis_flower]

2. Yes, Joni

We know everyone is going to die. But these policies are going to make millions of people die sooner.

[Diamond_Dog]

4. Why do these soulless morons keep getting elected?

[orleans]

9. birds of a feather

they get elected by soulless morons

[msongs]

6. hurry up and die for jesus. rest assured her jesus does not love everybody or all the little children of the world nt

[vapor2]

7. How can these hypocrites claim they are Christian with their sadistic agenda?

[BurnDoubt]

15. I'm pretty sure...

They won't accept their fake Id's at the Pearly Gates.
Go slap your Pastor.

[Jacson6]

8. Kristi Noem and Her should be nominated as demoness' of the year.

[LudwigPastorius]

10. !

[Billsdaughter]

11. I'm so grateful to Senator Joni Ernest

My gratitude for opening wide the 2026 Iowa Junior Senator Seat! Well done!

Kidding aside, this has legs for days.

[John1956PA]

12. Her remark reminds me of Cassius and Brutus rationalizing Caesar's demise.

From Shakespeare's play Julius Caesar:

BRUTUS Fates, we will know your pleasures: That we shall die, we know; 'tis but the time, and drawing days out, that men stand upon.

CASSIUS Why, he that cuts off twenty years of life cuts off so many years of fearing death.

BRUTUS Grant that, and then is death a benefit? So are we Caesar's friends, that have abridged his time of fearing death?

[BurnDoubt]

13. She's right. We are all going to die...

But not everyone will be celebrated for doing it, like she will. The important thing for the GOP is people's suffering will be much more horrific. I hope

[3825-87867]

14. Joni, if we're all gonna die anyway...

please tell us why the rich need more tax cuts!
Asking for humanity.

[BurnDoubt]

16. Eye of the Needle.

They take pleasure in others' misery. Like Good Christo-fascists.

[Marcuse]

17. You first.

[Blue Owl]

18. Sounds like a very pro-abortion stance

Why even bother with the inconvenience of life? Just cut straight to the death part.