Have you ever encountered a sociopath?

[iemanja]

who no matter what can’t be persuaded to care about human life? If so, how do you deal with it?

[Coventina]

2. Yes, my sister's ex-husband.

He was able to come off as a nice guy, very likable.
But he was a monster in secret to his family.

My sister finally divorced him after 20 years.
Unfortunately, he was the primary "care-giver" for their kids.
(Because all he did was smoke pot and play video games).

He managed to raise his daughter to be just like himself.

The son is still healing, more than a decade later, as is my sister.

If the sociopath doesn't want to get better, nothing will change.

Instead they will lie, manipulate, abuse, and threaten.

[iemanja]

3. How awful for your family

and he left such lasting damage.

[Crunchy Frog]

4. The OB I had for my twin pregnancy is rotting in prison for the grisly murder of his wife.

Thank God he didn't actually deliver them.

[Raine]

5. Yes my next door neighbor, i stay as far away from him as possible.

Sometimes he's almost likable but he can never hide his hateful ugly side for long.

[iemanja]

6. Does he have a fake charming demeanor?

Like Ted Bundy?

It must be so creepy having him live so close by.

[womanofthehills]

7. Many sociopaths exhibited sciopathic behavior at a young age

Like torturing animals when they are toddlers. Great book about the subject “ The Sociopath Next Door” by Martha Stout

We had one in our neighborhood. When he was fighting with the whole neighborhood (out in country) - he would leave some of his stuff on your property to let you know he’s around.

[iemanja]

16. Correct me if I'm wrong

but I thought the argument of The Sociopath Next Door was that they exist along a continuum, with varying degrees of sociopathy or psychopathy. I would guess, then, that budding serial killers harm animals but at least some of the type of sociopaths that are CEOs might not. Is that correct?

[markodochartaigh]

52. "...at

least some of the type of sociopaths that are CEOs might not."

95% of ceo's give the other 5% a bad name.

[Brainfodder]

17. Someone that nasty I expect to be found dead cleaning someone else's shotgun with no witnesses to the contrary!

Or perhaps, we have no idea detective Poirot.

[NJCher]

8. No, but

I’ve read a lot about them. This may be why I’ve never known one.

[usonian]

9. Many Silicon Valley CEO's and managers are psychopathic or sociopathic.

But at least you can quit. Two bosses.

One boss went pretty nonlinear when he went on vacation and we didn't have quite enough to impress his boss when he returned, so he demanded daily verbal status reports. Unacceptable, weird-ass controller bullshit.

Friday that week was "Take your kid to work day" so when my daughter returned from the free pizza, I showed her how to deal with nutcases. I documented all my projects (they were in good shape, no loose ends) and walked out the door.

Another would always put employees in the middle of some tough situation. One Indian-American woman was tasked with managing some unruly and crafty Indian contractors, and her position was really junior. So she walked straight to business school.

Same guy broke a lease, from a guy known for violence, so we packed up everything at night, led by a guy supposedly a former Mossad agent, while the boss waited in the new office, far from danger. One day, he walked into my cubby, clueless as to what a one-person I.T. department actually did, and I saw his eyes lowering to a magazine on my desk. It was this one.



I don't recall if that was before or after a guy whose company he bought figured he had a raw deal so in the name of "demo-ing software" he also installed some spyware on the boss's laptop. Boss found out and sued him. I got to be witness. The final ruling was "well, you two work it out" The trial was in the building across from where Scott Peterson was on trial for murder, and there were media cables all over the place covered by wooden walkways. Mark Gallegos would hold press conferences between the buildings. Hey, anything for a strange life.

The boss always overpromised, and since I was responsible for a giant deployment (and entire school district) and he kept yanking people off the team, smartest first, it ended up almost entirely on my shoulders, and I remember everyone getting Sept 11th off except the field crew, so I ended up working the night in a high school rebooting servers and checking on stuff, glancing at the TV along with the maintenance people. Pretty depressing day. I got some PTSD from that job, Couldn't really quit because the job market was dead at the time.

He kept moving the business, in a remarkable coincidence, every time he moved his home. So there were many PITA moves.

I was one of those "full time employee contractors" so when he changed the terms of that non-agreement, I told him to file it where the sun don't shine. I dropped by the office around noon one day to leave docs and equipment and keys, but nobody was there. I waited until 2 p.m. and still out to lunch, so I just dropped it off.

Onward to contract work with "real" startups. They were easier to deal with because they were actually trying, and not hobbyists or ass-kissers.

And to be fair, some bosses were really decent people. One was new to the job and kind of clueless, so I would talk to the "regulars" and make helpful suggestions. The fast learners are at the bottom of the totem pole.

At one aerospace company, I got blamed for every idiot prank that anyone pulled. After an especially dumb popcorning of a department office, I told them in all honesty "That's not my style. I only pull clever pranks". Oh well.

I survived it all. Fortunately, outside of work, only mildly messed up people. Easy to deal with.
I feel genuine compassion for those who have had bad family relationships.

[Blue Full Moon]

15. All the top management where I worked. Each had a copy of the Art of the Deal on their desks.

[sakabatou]

10. IRL? No.

[Irish_Dem]

12. Yes. Get far away from them if you can.

If they commit crimes against you, press charges.

[Midnight Writer]

19. Absolutely. The best way to deal with them is to refuse to deal with them

I worked side-by-side with one for thirty years.

Very charming and personable. Everyone liked him. And he would stab anyone in the back just for kicks.

He loved getting close to people, finding their weakness, and then using it against them. Loved manipulating people, lied as easily as breathing, cheated on his poor wife over and over, overtly racist, openly fantasized about raping women, thought he was the studliest, richest, smartest man to ever walk the earth.

Took me a while to get his number, and when he realized I was "on to" him he started a campaign of hatred against me, including vandalizing my home and numerous death threats. The guy was a nightmare to anyone who didn't pretend to worship him.

[Irish_Dem]

25. Another dangerous narcissistic psychopath.

Yes get away from the bastard.

[Marthe48]

46. I'm waiting for the punk to turn 18

N/t

[Morbius]

13. In retrospect, I think so.

Back in the 80's I worked for a company that had two owners - brothers, in fact. The one who was in charge of the division of the company I worked for was likely a sociopath. That didn't occur to me; I just thought of him as an incredibly selfish asshole. A truly bad human being, in so many ways. He's probably dead now, so I won't share his name (I probably wouldn't share his name anyway).

I used to ask some of my fellow employees a hypothetical question, and in place of his name I will use "Mr. R":

You are in a room with two bullets and three people. One is a sexual predator who relentlessly rapes and kills children. The second is an old man in agonizing and incurable pain. The third is Mr. R. Who do you spare?

Now, I'm a nicer guy now. I wouldn't ever ask such a question, even about our President. But it's telling: only one coworker suggested sparing Mr. R, and he was new on the job. Almost everyone else wanted to shoot the guy.

[Emile]

14. I have worked for several of them during my life. I stayed

far away from them as possible.

[bif]

18. An old high school friend

He's so full of himself, it isn't funny. The whole world revolves around him.

[iemanja]

34. Are you in a line of work that puts you in contact with criminals?

Sorry if you don't want to disclose.

[H2O Man]

21. Sure.

Recommended.

I worked at the county mental health clinic. Among other duties, I did the jail group and evaluations. And I've encountered several others. I dealt with them firmly.

[Ping Tung]

22. Yes. As an Employee Assistance Counselor I usually referred them to psychologists.

Last edited Mon Aug 4, 2025, 01:38 PM - Edit history (1)

It's usually long term psychoanalysis that's needed. Dealing with them was usually a banging one's head against a brick wall experience.

[Irish_Dem]

26. Prognosis is not good for psychopaths.

They do not respond well to therapy.
Usually everyone around them has to get into therapy.

[iemanja]

38. I feel just like that

That I'm banging my head.

[Luciferous]

23. My brother. I avoid him.

[SocialDemocrat61]

24. Yes. Many

Mainly Nader and Stein voters, and republicans.

[Irish_Dem]

27. Yes most MAGAs appear to be sociopaths.

No moral core.
They adore a heinous criminal psychopath.

[SocialDemocrat61]

31. They are minions

Worshipping the most evil among us.

[Kali999]

28. Go no contact.

If you can't document everything.

[iemanja]

35. Yes, that's what I've decided.

[vanessa_ca]

29. Yes. I won't deal with them. Too toxic. Time is better spent elsewhere -eom

[Nanuke]

30. Yes. my niece married one.

He conned my parents out of a lot of money. He is serving three consecutive life sentences in a prison in Texas, thank goodness.

[iemanja]

36. Woah

How awful. I'm sorry you had to go through that.

[unblock]

32. pretty much everyone has. if you don't know, they're good at it.

[generalbetrayus]

33. Yes, my first boss. Those in his field of expertise who didn't work for him found him engaging and charming.

People like me who worked for him knew better. He didn't care about anybody but himself and used the people who worked for him.
He was a serial sexual harasser and a bully. I tried twice to get him fired. The first time, through channels, it didn't work; his boss covered for him. The second time, I complained anonymously to the state attorney general's office and that time my effort worked. And I subsequently voted for that AG for reelection, the only Republican I have voted for since 1976.

[iemanja]

37. That must have felt good

Glad you got the result you wanted.

[generalbetrayus]

39. It sure did, although it was almost three years between the first attempt and he second attempt.

On the plus side, he quit before he could be fired.

[Mossfern]

40. Yes

It is on a spectrum though.
Many of the descriptions here are more psychopath than sociopath.
I've been in therapy for years as a result.

The person I know is not capable of remorse, is a pathological liar, personable to acquaintances, self centered
I also had a friend who is a therapist who is somewhat of a sociopath herself

[iemanja]

41. A sociopath as a therapist

That doesn't sound like a good therapeutic relationship. It also seems an odd job choice for a sociopath.

[kerry-is-my-prez]

45. Actually, I think it would be shits and giggles for them.

They can screw with people and get paid for it. I used to work in the field with a few people who had no sense of empathy and were sadistic. I used to say they should be driving a bus. Now you can say they should be working with computers or as hedge fund managers.

[Mossfern]

50. Not mine

but I think a sociopath absolutely would chose to be a therapist. Think of the power they have over people. This person's clients have no idea of how she is in real life.

My therapist is a delight! I smile when I think of her, she's navigated me through some really intense issues
and doesn't judge my many idiosyncrasies .

[bucolic_frolic]

53. I, too, can relate to such a tale

Therapist on a power trip, doing mega harm while patting themselves on the back and sucking up to superiors in the career ladder. No accountability. Worthless beast.

[kerry-is-my-prez]

43. They have changed it to Antisocial Personality Disorder w/psychopathic features

So now they’re back to using the term psychopathology. They thought the term sociopath was too mean. Clinicians are now either ignoring the DSM 5 TR and using other criteria to account for psychopathology or they added some section to the DSM V TR - I’m not sure which. I started in the field when they used the DSM ii and they were using the DSM IV when I was in grad school. Then, in the middle of when I was in the field, they came up with the DSM V. Currently they’re using the DSM-5–TR. it’s enough to make your head spin to keep up with it. And they used to charge outrageous fees to get the manuals. Now I see reduced prices.

[iemanja]

48. Yes, I know it's anti-social personality disorder

I was using the term colloquially.

[Marthe48]

44. I think the neighbor kid

Is a sociopath, or worse. While he might have inherited mental health issues, he has never obeyed rules or worse, made to obey them.
His grandmother is his guardian since he was 2. She let him leave h.s. when he was 16. I think he is living down the street with people who work on cars, but she still supports him. Her husband died 7 years ago, and left her in good shape. When the punk left school, she took a large loan on her paid off house to buy him a full size tractor. I heard that from one of my friends who is still friends with her. The punk can't seem to get a driver's license, so he operates things like tractors and dirt bikes. I used to be friends with the family but that ended about 3 years ago.
There is a lot of activity that I think he caused or is into but I probably can't prove.
I called the state patrol and sheriff on him several times because he was breaking the law and harassing me. I stood and took pictures of him while he was at it and he laughed. The l.eo. come when I call, but both entities tell me to stay inside and he'll go away. I don't really handle it. I know what I'd like to do, but I won't.

[iemanja]

49. That must be so frustrating

I'm sorry that you and his grandmother have to go through that.

[kerry-is-my-prez]

47. There are different levels (or in psych-speak criteria)

So you could be dealing with someone who has 3 symptoms/criteria or all 7. And now they sneakily have added a subtype of psychopathy.

Here's a breakdown of the criteria:
1. Failure to conform to social norms: This includes repeated illegal acts, such as arrests for theft, assault, or other offenses. 

2. Deceitfulness: Characterized by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure. 

3. Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead: This manifests as acting without thinking, making rash decisions, and not considering the consequences. 

4. Irritability and aggressiveness: This involves repeated physical fights, assaults, or irritability that leads to aggressive behavior. 

5. Reckless disregard for safety: This refers to a lack of concern for the safety of oneself or others, engaging in risky behaviors without considering the potential harm. 

6. Consistent irresponsibility: This includes failure to maintain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations. 

7. Lack of remorse: Indifference to having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another.


* Psychopathy as a Subtype of ASPD:
The DSM-5 includes ASPD as a diagnosis, and within that, some individuals display characteristics associated with psychopathy. 

[Laffy Kat]

54. My childhood friend and neighbor across the street was a sociopath.

Of course, I didn't know it at the time, figured it out as an adult while reading, "The Sociopath Next Door"by Martha Stout. Everyone knew she was a pathological liar. My parents didn't care for her at all. Still, we hung out together during the summers. I got tired of her and stopped hanging out during ninth grade. She got married right out of high school, had a son, and divorced. Around that time, she started getting into trouble--bad checks, and that kind of thing. I think it was 1994, when my father called me to let me know she had been murdered by her own son. Guess he got tired of the lies. He stabbed her to death in a New Orleans cemetery. Truly bizarre.

[iemanja]

56. That is bizarre

One reads about things like that in the newspaper but actually knowing someone is rare.

[yellow dahlia]

55. Run for the hills!

Do not look back.