Awww, Was JD Vance Scared He Was Going To Scrape His Butthole On The River Bottom?

[LearnedHand]

https://open.substack.com/pub/wonkette/p/awww-was-jd-vance-scared-he-was-going

Good gods, this horrible confederate of dunces is killing the planet and bankrupting us (article emphasis mine).

If you’ve ever been kayaking or canoeing or even just floating, you might have asked a guide “How high is it right now?” And what you meant by that is how high is the water level. Is it approaching flood stage, or is it the opposite? You might not even ask, only to start noticing when you start scraping your butt on the bottom of the river here and there, especially if you’re tubing. In those cases, it’s good to have somebody on lookout who can tell the whole group when the river bottom is rocky, so that you can all lift your butts while saying “Wheeeeeee!”

SNIP

But we guess if you’re JD Vance, you don’t do any of those normal people things, because you are not normal. Instead, upon finding out the water is low for your birthday kayak trip at the beginning of August, you have the Secret Service call the river and have them add water, because you’re scared of what’s going to happen to your butt if it scrapes along the edge of the river bottom.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

1. Vance is a privileged asshole

[LearnedHand]

3. A seriously privileged asshole

[LetMyPeopleVote]

2. JD Vance just had the Army Corps raise the water level of a damn river... for a birthday kayak trip.

vance is a privileged asshole

Link to tweet

Trump says Epstein is a hoax. Meanwhile, JD Vance just had the Army Corps raise the water level of a damn river… for a birthday kayak trip. These guys aren’t just corrupt they’re cartoon villains. One’s lying about pedophiles, the other’s playing God with public infrastructure so his canoe doesn’t scrape bottom.