Trump's Got A Guy Named Steve With Charts That Say The Economy's Great! -- Wonkette

[erronis]

https://www.wonkette.com/p/trumps-got-a-guy-named-steve-with
Marcie Jones

And like a hundred new tariffs, but whatever.

Attention Walmart shoppers! Do The Groceries seem more expensive? Unemployed and can’t find a job? All of that is in your imagination, because President Donald J. Trump has got charts, beautiful charts, charts with new, secret data that no one has ever seen before, and still can’t really see because the numbers are very small and blurry. But the charts and this white man named Steve who saw the numbers inscribed on a secret tablet he was directed to by some peepstones say YOU’RE WRONG ABOUT THE ECONOMY, America!

Poor Abe Lincoln, hanging his head in shame. What is that X axis? Why are those blurry numbers comparing some kind of data from Trump’s first term to Biden’s? Oh, because you can’t count COVID, COVID numbers don’t count! TRUMP CALLED A DO-OVER! Hey, who was the president who failed to control COVID when it arrived in the first place, lied about the numbers of infected and dead, and pushed fake cures? Also wouldn’t Trump’s first term be OBUMMER’S or BIDEN’S economy, didn’t Trump just claim that the first months of 2025 was Trump-economy sloppy seconds?

Whatever, no reporter is going to ask him about any of that, and risk getting themselves and their organization banished from the Oval Office or plane like some kind of AP, Wall Street Journal, or HuffPost. The scrum has got to triage its questions around his goldfish attention span and the hairplug-trigger rage that explodes the instant he gets any sense he’s being challenged.

Yes, the American consumer is doing just great, and also going to be paying 50 percent tariffs on goods from India now, and higher tariffs on goods from 90-ish other countries as of last night (though even the New York Times is unsure of the exact number). But that is good, because Dear Leader says Americans buy too much Indian stuff, and India buys Russian oil, and Vladimir Putin himself will decide when he wants to stop bombing Ukrainian hospitals and if he wants peace talks with Ukraine or not, THANK YOU FOR YOUR ATTENTION TO THIS MATTER, NOW FILTHY REPORTERS GET OUT!

. . .

[Lovie777]

1. They never stop lying.....

[paleotn]

2. What's up with the tweety bird yellow tie?

Does he wake up in the morning wondering “what can I wear that will make me look like an even bigger dork?”

[underpants]

5. More gold!!!

[dalton99a]

7. POS wants to match the room decor

[underpants]

8. Back of the main door

[pandr32]

3. The gilded medallions and trim seem to be spreading.

Will he ruin the entire White House?

[yankee87]

4. Same as Harris

This is the same as before the election where the Reich Wing MSM Complained nonstop with this BS and made headlines about how out of touch was Harris.
Taking bets whether this will make the MSM.

[dalton99a]

6. Kick

[usaf-vet]

9. "WE ARE THE ONLY ONES WHO HAVE ACCESS TO THIS DATA"! So we can lie, and you can't refute the numbers. The numbers......

...... just came out today.

Can I ask one question...... who ass farted up these numbers?

[Wounded Bear]

10. Kind of like his tax returns and college transcripts...

[Totally Tunsie]

11. Awww - I liked the "Medium Income" chart better,

especially since none of the WH brain trusts seemed to notice.

"Only the best people..."
MORONS!

[Straw Man]

12. What, no Sharpie?

That would have made it REALLY official ...

[Emile]

13. So Steve joined the circus too.

[niyad]

14. Once again, I notice that he seems to be listing a bit to the left. .his left

shoulder is lower, his left hand extends further down than his right. And that super-long tie!