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The Borowitz Report-DC Residents Less Afraid of Homeless Than of Running into Stephen Miller
DC Residents Less Afraid of Homeless Than of Running into Stephen Miller
— BrokenPromiseland (@brokenpromisedland.bsky.social) 2025-08-21T12:08:28.402Z
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/dc-residents-less-afraid-of-homeless
WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Residents of Washington, DC are less afraid of the city’s homeless population than they are of accidentally running into Stephen Miller, according to a new poll released on Thursday.
When asked, “What do you fear most?,” 4 percent said, “the homeless,” while 87 percent said, “Being seated at a restaurant next to Stephen Miller.”
Describing her fear of encountering Miller, one poll respondent stated, “It’s the stuff of nightmares.”
In another finding, 67 percent said they feared being hit by a car driven by Pete Hegseth.
When asked, “What do you fear most?,” 4 percent said, “the homeless,” while 87 percent said, “Being seated at a restaurant next to Stephen Miller.”
Describing her fear of encountering Miller, one poll respondent stated, “It’s the stuff of nightmares.”
In another finding, 67 percent said they feared being hit by a car driven by Pete Hegseth.
4 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
= new reply since forum marked as read
The part about Hegseth was just bonus.
I heard the key rings for the staff restrooms are attached to large wooden stakes.
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