Let's Talk About Pete Hegseth's Very Good Pull-Ups

[Zorro]

Have you done the Burp Box and Secretary Shitfaced fitness challenge?

We’ve linked to this multiple times this week, but have y’all seen that weird and pathetic video of Robert F. “Did My Brain Worm Make Me Speak Forever In Burps?” Kennedy Jr. and Pete “The Only Worms In My Brain Came From This Bottle Of Tequila Right Here!” Hegseth doing the “Pete and Bobby” fitness challenge together?

We don’t want to be mean (yes we do) but there are a lot of things about the video that are, ahem, really weird and pathetic and milquetoast and weak and sad. Very “cringe,” as they say on the internet. You won’t be shocked a guy like Hegseth is so scared of Washington DC after watching it, we’ll tell you that much.

Let’s watch the video and then make fun of all the things that deserve our scorn and mockery, in no particular order.

Number one!

RFK Jr. works out in jeans, with a belt. Cool. Totally normal. Why wouldn’t he? There’s nothing like denim rubbing against your balls in the gym. We imagine the chafing on his inner thighs looks the way his voice sounds.

This video prompted people to ask why old BrainWorm McHeadCase works out in jeans, and he explained it on Fox News to Jesse Watters. “Well, I just started doing that a long time ago because I would go hiking in the morning and then I’d go straight to the gym, and I found it was convenient, and now I’m used to it, so I just do it.”

Nope. Incorrect. First of all, jeans may or may not even be the best attire for hiking — kind of depends on the weather and where you’re hiking — but there is nothing “convenient” about going to the gym after hiking and keeping your jeans on. All gyms have locker rooms. If Kennedy is shy about people seeing RFK Junior Junior in the locker room, he can pull down his pants in his car and put on some normal man shorts or other normal workout pants. There is obviously room in his car for this, as he is always lugging dead animal in the backseat.

https://www.wonkette.com/p/lets-talk-about-pete-hegseths-very