ART OF THE DEAL! Newsom University is offering 2 FREE NEWSOM STEAKS with enrollment! YES! USA! USA!

[Miles Archer]

Governor Newsom Press Office
@GovPressOffice
HUGE NEWS FOR “MY GUYS AND GALS”!!! NEWSOM UNIVERSITY IS OPENING VERY SOON. ENROLLMENT IS ALREADY THROUGH THE ROOF. EVERYBODY WANTS IN (EVEN THE LOSERS) BUT ONLY THE SMARTEST, MOST TALENTED STUDENTS WILL BE ACCEPTED (NO LOW IQ DING-DONGS LIKE JD “JUST DANCE” VANCE OR LAURA “LOW RATINGS” INGRAHAM). NEWSOM UNIVERSITY WILL BE THE MOST INCREDIBLE CAMPUS THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN, TRUST ME THAT I'VE HIRED THE BEST CONTRACTORS TO BUILD. COURSES INCLUDE THE ART OF "MAPS," HOW TO TRIGGER “SLUMPY” SEAN HANNITY (VERY EASY COURSE, DAY ONE!), ADVANCED HAIR GEL APPLICATION (TAUGHT BY THE BEST), AND HOW TO BE SUCCESSFUL LIKE ME — GAVIN C. NEWSOM — AMERICA’S “HOTTEST” GOVERNOR (MANY PEOPLE SAY IT, NOT JUST ME!). DING DING, THE SCHOOLBELL RINGS — CLASSES START THIS FALL!!! MANY PEOPLE ARE SAYING "THANK YOU! THANK YOU DEAR GOVERNOR!!!" TO WHICH I SAY, YOU’RE WELCOME, AMERICA!!! — GCN

Link to tweet

[bucolic_frolic]

1. That is GOLD! BITCOIN GOLD! SNEAKERS GOLD!

Keep mocking Trump, he's got no comeback.

[DBoon]

2. My Governor is absolutely hilarious

[a kennedy]

3. 👏🏻 👏🏻 👏🏻

Perfect as usual.

[usonian]

4. I'm holding out for Newsom Vodka.

you may share the image.

[Wild blueberry]

5. Can't stop laughing

Thank you!

[malaise]

6. Bwaaaah!

Ridicule the fool

[boonecreek]

7. How to trigger

"Slumpy" Sean Hannity.

[Xavier Breath]

8. ...

[Hornedfrog2000]

9. You gotta grab some pussies

For the alt right to love you

[Hassler]

10. And the maga-morons on xhitter think he's serious

[Just Jerome]

11. Perhaps

I might do some advanced study based on my Law & Order degree.

[muriel_volestrangler]

12. We teach success. Even for people with small hands. And it's trademarked, so you know it's true.

They are having so much fun.

[rubbersole]

13. They are having fun!

Probably what boils his grits the most. I'm looking forward to the next one every day. 'Clever' doesn't cover it...

[Ms. Toad]

14. Countdown to the first lawsuit . . .

Leonard v. Pepsico, Inc. Pepsi, Where's My Jet?

[niyad]

20. Dear Goddess, the stupidity burns. . I am very good bargain shopper,

but even I know one could not purchase a $35 million vehicle for $700k.

[Ms. Toad]

22. We use the case in law school to teach one of the defenses to contract formation -

Was the offer an objectively serious one.

[Xolodno]

15. When I troll some friends on facebook, they sometimes get annoyed with me.

I respond, "It's your fault for making it so easy".

[Joinfortmill]

16. Rofl

[republianmushroom]

17. I'm enjoying it.

Finally !

[Hekate]

18. Love the raised eyebrow😉

[pattyloutwo]

19. Dang!

Too good! Wow!

[niyad]

21. LOVE IT!!!