Let's offer compassionate help to VP "I don't give a shit" Vance

[struggle4progress]

He's never been very articulate -- as we saw when he tried to make Zelenskyy feel welcome in the White House -- so we must be careful not to misunderstand his plaintive "I don't give a shit"

I don't think he's being crude: I think he just means he's constipated

And with all the cuts to health care, he may not get the free laxatives he needs

We all know how cranky the full-of-$4!# can sometimes become, so it is our duty to send him whatever we can: a bottle of milk of magnesium or prune juice or magnesium citrate or mineral oil, a jar of polypropylene glycol or psyllium capsules, a box of senna teabags, a can of beans, or an enema

Include a chatty personalized letter with sympathetic advice and mail it to:

1 Observatory Circle NW
U.S. Naval Observatory
Washington, D.C. 20008-3619

[jls4561]

1. JD "Beans" Vance. Heaven knows he needs something good for his heart.

[Bread and Circuses]

2. JD seems to always be angry . Does he have a permanent Wedgie?

[Oeditpus Rex]

3. Fuck him with a chaise longue (n.t.)

[IcyPeas]

4. White House employee discount....

I would have said that it was the most pathetic, pandering, servile obeisance ever displayed in the White House - and then I remembered Trump and Ivanka shilling for Goya beans. So, so pathetic.

— ProBon (@probon.bsky.social) 2025-03-11T21:09:57.042Z

[usonian]

5. Takes after his dad.

Hugo.