Witnesses Assumed Charlie Kirk Shooter Was Just Ordinary Gunman On School Campus

[edbermac]

OREM, UT—As law enforcement officials search for a person of interest in the assassination of 31-year-old Turning Point USA co-founder Charlie Kirk, witnesses on the scene at Utah Valley University admitted Thursday they had assumed the shooter was just an ordinary gunman on campus.

“When that first shot rang out, we all figured it was going to be a run-of-the-mill mass shooting” said UVU junior Michael Tompkins, who explained that when students spotted a man clad in black and carrying a rifle on a roof overlooking the crowd, they had no reason to suspect anything unusual.

“It’s chilling that a person we thought was a normal, unhinged campus shooter was actually a political assassin. You see a deranged guy with a rifle on the quad every day. I suppose it was a little suspicious that he wasn’t shooting droves of students.”

At press time, the FBI announced that the gunman had escaped by blending into the heavily armed crowd.

https://theonion.com/witnesses-assumed-charlie-kirk-shooter-was-just-ordinary-gunman-on-school-campus/

[Ocelot II]

1. That's pretty dark, even for The Onion.

But they nailed it, again.

[edbermac]

4. Recall that there was a school shooting that day as well.

What’s dark is that it seems to be the mindset at schools nowadays.

DENVER (AP) — A 16-year-old boy who had been radicalized by an unspecified “extremist network” fired a revolver multiple times during an attack at a suburban Denver high school that wounded two students, authorities said Thursday.

Some students ran and others locked down during Wednesday’s shooting at Evergreen High School in the foothills of the Rocky Mountains. One of the victims was shot inside the school and another outside.

The suspect in Evergreen, student Desmond Holly, shot himself at the school and later died, said Jefferson County sheriff’s office spokesperson Jacki Kelley. The county was also the scene of the 1999 Columbine High School massacre that killed 14 people.

https://apnews.com/article/colorado-high-school-shooting-3f4fc4338247a661874060e06cb16f43

[Lovie777]

2. OK.................

the Onion.............

[RussBLib]

3. it's close to reality

it's legal to open carry, so why get freaked out when you see a guy with a gun?

USA!!

[markodochartaigh]

5. When

I grew up in Amarillo a half century ago it wasn't that uncommon to see a gun in the gun rack of a truck parked in the parking lot of the high school, or the junior college.
Drug and alcohol use was pretty common too, and the rate of violent crime has always been high.
Looking back it seems that there are downsides to that way of life. Almost a quarter of my high school class didn't live to see 65.

[AZJonnie]

6. It's a little extreme, but the underlying fact remains that if everyone can just walk around with guns

Then nobody knows if any given person has evil intentions. And if an evil person positions themselves in a defensible location, they are going to be able to get shots off before any of the "good guys with with guns" can respond. And then if the good guys are firing back when the authorities arrive, they can't necessarily immediately be sure who are the good and bad guys.

But hey, these kinds of scenarios are worth it, right Chuck?

[usonian]

7. Be careful what you wish for. You might get it.

[niyad]

8. I had to check the link.

[eppur_se_muova]

9. GMTA ?

https://www.democraticunderground.com/100220624295

[James48]

10. I laughed.

It’s so bad that even that is funny now.

[BidenRocks]

11. I was believing the first half

then it dawned. DOH!

Sadly believable.

[pnwmom]

12. "You see a deranged guy with a rifle on the quad every day." What the hell?

This jumped out at me.

“It’s chilling that a person we thought was a normal, unhinged campus shooter was actually a political assassin. You see a deranged guy with a rifle on the quad every day."

[fujiyamasan]

13. The Onion really shines in times like this and sheds light on how absurd things really are

And yes, they absolutely nailed it and I thought the quotes were real for a second.
Well done.