I didn't realize until tonight that Kash Patel had such a squeaky voice.

[Ocelot II]

It sounds like he inhaled helium.

[Attilatheblond]

1. Kash Patel, balloon huffing FBI Director

[RockRaven]

2. He is definitely the sort of person who would be targeted by the bullies if he

wasn't such an abject ass-kisser of them.

[Ocelot II]

3. He probably got regularly pantsed and stuffed in his locker when he was in middle school.

I'd want to do it to him myself.

[dgauss]

4. He's high on his own supply.

That might also account for it. Maybe it affects the vocal cords.

[still-prayin4rain]

5. Yeah, they put cockamamy incarnate in charge of the FBI.

[BigmanPigman]

6. Rats have squeaky voices.

[JI7]

7. I always thought he came off as cartoonish

[Ocelot II]

8. He certainly doesn't fit the Hollywood image of a G-man; Elliott Ness he ain't.

He's not even J. Edgar Hoover. And it's kind of strange, considering Trump's affinity for appointing people who fit a Hollywood image, that his choice for FBI director would be a weird little homunculus with googly eyes and a helium voice and no law enforcement experience at all and a talent for looking like a damn fool. But he's a devoted Trump fanboy, and that's what really counts.

[FSogol]

9. That's what garden gnomes sound like.