Is he dead yet?

[Orrex]

Struck down in The Battle of Portland?

Clubbed to death in Farmingdale?

Catheter yanked out by "sabotaged" escalator?


Just fucking died already for literally any reason whatsoever?

[surfered]

1. He came so close yesterday, but alas...

Sad!

[SheltieLover]

12. Lol

Good one!

[2MuchNoise]

2. Collapsed trying so hard wiff his tiny widdle hands to get the child safety cap off of his Aceto- Aceto- TYLENOL bottle.

[SocialDemocrat61]

3. Stoned to death

by the crowd at the Ryder Cup.

[GopherGal]

21. Probably after driving his golf cart onto the green

[niyad]

4. Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened.

Still, the day is yet young. One dares to dream.

[surfered]

5. Soon, we hope. 🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🍾

[SheltieLover]

14. Yesterday, or 79 yrs ago would've both worked, too!

🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

[surfered]

18. 79 years ago would have been optimal. His mother just didn't take enough Tylenol.

She apparently took a lot, just not enough.

[SheltieLover]

24. Sad...

[SheltieLover]

13. Keep it on ice!

Soon...

🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂🥂

[Wicked Blue]

6. Iced by an AI escalator

[Blue Owl]

7. Dragged out to sea by the turning tides...

Right into a school of hungry sharks…..

[SheltieLover]

15. Electric sharks, by chance?

[Blue Owl]

31. I'm not fussy!

[SheltieLover]

33. Me either!

[hlthe2b]

8. "Still, NO?..."

"I'm VERY UNHAPPY at this news!..."

[SheltieLover]

9. Natasha got brave & slipped some tea into his diet coke?

[republianmushroom]

10. Not yesterday or last night, damn, but, soon hopefully.

Don't really care how, just that is happens and sooner the better.

[txwhitedove]

11. Maybe he'll get that ridiculous tie caught in an "unsabataged" escalator soon!

[SheltieLover]

16. That would work!

[generalbetrayus]

17. Walks under a Democratic tree that dumps all his yellow leaves at once, suffocating him.

[surfered]

19. A species of antifasuffacatus

[SheltieLover]

25. ...

[Exp]

20. We wish! nt

[LetMyPeopleVote]

22. Best two-for-one deal in history!

[SheltieLover]

26. Throw bibi in for the trifecta!

[BWdem4life]

23. Clarence Thomas? No. nt

[ShazzieB]

27. Dead? Did somebody say he's dead?

Never mind, false alarm. Back to waiting...

[Gimpyknee]

28. Nope

[Dave Bowman]

29. No but putrefaction has started anyway.

[malaise]

30. No but

There are many unhappy generals

[electric_blue68]

32. As of inappropriately 1:22AM here in NYC I DO NOT hear any sudden racous cheering, and car honking....so I guess he's..

still alive.

Damn it..😬😬😬