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The Borowitz Report-US Military Cleans Up Discarded Kale at Portland Farmer's Market
US Military Cleans Up Discarded Kale at Portland Farmer’s Market
— Ray Beckerman (@raybeckerman.bsky.social) 2025-09-29T15:10:20.445Z
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...
https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/us-military-cleans-up-discarded-kale
PORTLAND (The Borowitz Report)—Troops deployed to Portland, Oregon by Donald J. Trump cleaned up “a significant amount” of discarded kale at a downtown farmer’s market, FBI Director Kash Patel claimed on Monday.
Declaring the deployment a major success, Patel posted on X, “We are keeping kale off the streets of Portland.”
But city residents soon questioned that assessment, with one longtime Portlander stating, “In Portland we never discard kale—we massage it.”
Patel’s premature claim became yet another embarrassment for the struggling FBI chief, who later acknowledged that the discarded vegetable was not kale but Swiss chard.
Declaring the deployment a major success, Patel posted on X, “We are keeping kale off the streets of Portland.”
But city residents soon questioned that assessment, with one longtime Portlander stating, “In Portland we never discard kale—we massage it.”
Patel’s premature claim became yet another embarrassment for the struggling FBI chief, who later acknowledged that the discarded vegetable was not kale but Swiss chard.
1 replies
= new reply since forum marked as read
= new reply since forum marked as read
“ Pure Kell “
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