White House Doctor: Trump Has Far More Bones Than Any Prior President

[Zorro]

WASHINGTON—In an effort to curb speculation regarding the physical health of the commander-in-chief, Capt. Sean Barbabella, physician to the president and director of the White House Medical Unit, confirmed Thursday that Donald Trump has “far more bones” than any U.S. president on record.

“Every time we examine the president’s body, we find more and more bones,” said Barbabella, assuring reporters that Trump remains strong due to the dozens of bones making up each of his arms, the 70-odd bones in his rib cage alone, and the hundreds of vertebrae composing his multiple, branching spines.

“Without counting the partially developed bones in his stomach, the president’s skeleton contains easily the most bones we have ever observed in any individual holding elected office. The number of bones Donald Trump possesses is, in my medical opinion, easily north of a thousand. That is nearly six times as many bones as Joe Biden, who, in comparison, has a paltry number of very small bones. And not only are they plentiful, but the president’s bones are so abnormally dense and resilient that we expect them to endure long after the rest of us are gone, quite possibly becoming the last surviving record of human life on Earth.”

In response to a question regarding rumors about the president’s declining cognitive health, Barbabella emphasized that Trump possesses several brains stacked neatly inside his skull.

https://theonion.com/white-house-doctor-trump-has-far-more-bones-than-any-prior-president/

[malaise]

1. More bonespurs

😂😂

[Glorious bastard]

4. Beat me by this much!

[malaise]

5. Bwaaaah

Rec. 😀

[Glorious bastard]

2. Ah, that explains the bone spurs!

[snowybirdie]

3. I agree

He has the most bones in his head than any other living person!

[Bernardo de La Paz]

6. The extra bones are all in his head.

Much better onion than the previous one I commented on.

[truddy777]

7. that's why

So that’s why he keeps collapsing in on himself like a haunted marionette.

[Ocelot II]

8. ROFL!

[JoseBalow]

9. Does that include Putin's bone?

[usonian]

10. Less one. NT

[The Roux Comes First]

11. Where Do They Keep Uncovering These Incompetent Hacks?

I wonder if he can spell "anatomy" without assistance?

[leftieNanner]

16. Please look at the source!

It's The Onion, but not entirely impossible.

[2naSalit]

12. And the vast majority of them...

Are in his head.

[Rhiannon12866]

14. Maybe his head is just one solid bone, could explain a lot...

[2naSalit]

25. I had...

Considered that!

[zanana1]

13. I just managed to stop laughing.

My stomach hurts.

[twodogsbarking]

15. He eats wings bone and all. That's where they came from. Don't tell.

[electric_blue68]

17. 🤔 Well, he definitely has had more bones to pick than just about, or any other President .

[Martin Eden]

18. His cranial bone is extremely dense

Not much room in the skull for anything else, but there is some open space between the ears.

[erronis]

19. Unfortunately, he does have baculum deficiency which makes him inferior to dogs, chimps, etc.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Baculum

[yorkster]

20. Said multiple bones greatly compensating

for the lack of that most important columnar structure, the BACKBONE, often used as a metaphor for courage or character.

[yorkster]

24. 2nd reading shows that Trump has multiple

spines, indicating great ability to "bend with the wind", so to speak.
.

[Tetrachloride]

21. More bonehead than meathead ... Gotcha

Miss Shields will be impressed.

[sakabatou]

22. Trump was diagnosed as having FOP?

Yes, I know it's supposed to be a joke, but the disease itself is scary.

[Ping Tung]

23. Are they gold? Will they be available for sale to dedicated MAGAs or merely on trading cards.

[dweller]

26. THE END IS NIGH !1!

Fucker is virtually skeletal






✌🏻