Spurious News: SCOTUS explains how Trump will get a third term!
WASHINGTON (Spurious News Network) -- King Donald Trump, doing business as the President of the United States, has frequently said he wants to serve more than two terms in office. The Constitution of the United States' Twenty-Second Amendment prohibits anyone from being elected to the office more than twice, but the Supreme Court is on his side.
"The conservative majority of the Supreme Court," said associate justice Brett Kavanaugh, "is prepared to rule that President Trump was not actually elected to office in 2016 and 2024, but that he stole the election both times. Because the Constitution is mute on what happens after an election is stolen, any time he steals an election it won't count against the two legitimate election wins he's allowed. And since we are the ones who get to say whether he got elected legitimately or he stole the election, he can be president as long as we want to keep ruling he stole the election."
Conservative legal scholars applaud the Supreme Court's bold stance, but liberal scholars are aghast. Said liberal Supreme Court justice Elena Kagan, "I've heard fucking bullshit before but this one takes the cake."
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in his third term.