Navy Accidentally Strikes Superyacht Carrying Clarence Thomas Near Venezuela

[Zorro]

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—The US Navy struck a superyacht carrying Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas and his wife, Ginni, as it cruised off the coast of Venezuela, the Pentagon confirmed on Sunday.

As Navy divers searched for the Thomases, Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth called the sinking of the 160-foot-long luxury vessel “an honest mistake.”

“When you’re going after narcoterrorists, every now and then you’re going to hit a Supreme Court justice,” he said.

At the White House, Donald Trump took a break from surveying demolition of the East Wing to comment on Thomas, stating, “He had a good run.”

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/navy-accidentally-strikes-superyacht

Don't I wish...

[hlthe2b]

1. The shattered excitement of everyone reading that headline...

sigh...

[Traildogbob]

4. Actually

If drug runners used super yachts they would never be stopped or targeted. They would get the billionaires exception level Law enforcement.

[bluesbassman]

8. What makes you think they aren't?

Billionaires have multiple income streams. Just saying.

[allegorical oracle]

6. Absolutely. My soaring heart fell to the floor. nt

[Queso Delicioso]

11. Absolute villainy, getting my hopes up like that.

[Emile]

2. LOL 🤣

[barbtries]

3. shit.

took me a second. which was kinda dumb of me actually. i'm sure their yacht is anchored somewhere besides an area where the US military is murdering people and warmongering.

[MarineCombatEngineer]

5. I had a feeling that this was either The Onion or The Borowitz Report,

I figured we couldn't be that lucky.

The sad this is that the incompetence of this regime makes this believable.

[Mopar151]

7. Missed it

By that much......

?si=ViKMXfUwvlKHj-_J

[yellow dahlia]

9. Love this.

The opening theme song started playing in my head.

[moondust]

10. Uh oh. Clarence gonna need a new superyacht.

He better give Harlan and the oligarchs whatever they want so he can get one that's bigger and fancier this time.

[erronis]

14. I know hegseth is a drunk incompetent but the missile personnel are usually close to target

Don't think Clarence and Ginnie would be survivors. And think of the sharks!

[lastlib]

12. Why does this have to be Borowitz??

In my fondest dream, it would've been breaking news on MSNBC.

[erronis]

13. Don't forget that trump wants evidence destroyed... and he also wants to appoint a much younger justice

Might be Borowitz but I'm sure some nasty people are gaming some alternatives.

[Hekate]

15. Please amend title to show source so those of it who don't find it funny can avoid it

[NNadir]

16. For the first time in my life, I want that corrupt piece of shit Thomas to live longer.

Kavanaugh, also a pig, is younger. Consider that.

At this point, with the Constitution in the trash, can if at some point democracy is restored in this country we will need a new Constitution.

Lifetime appointments need to go on this court, and they who serve on it need to subject to the rule of law themselves.