Epstein Files Cover-up Day 288 and
"$25,000" Bondi is now being pressured about why the investigation into the Epstein co-conspirators was killed. This means we can expect several more boat attacks in the Caribbean shortly along with a threat to invade Scotland for not loving the shambolic golf club of Crumb The 1st.
"Cash" Patel has also been rumored to be too busy to investigate apparently because he is rumored to be busy arranging security and screening for a rumored event to be held by "Look At Me" Noem. Although it is unclear at this time the exact details of the event there are rumors that Noem has agreed to hold an annual "Kill Your Pet" event where people can bring their no longer wanted pets and Noem will, for a $5,000 "consideration", personally shoot your pet and sign a sworn death certificate as the executioner. A deluxe version of the certificate is rumored to be available for an additional $1,000 that will be nicely framed, choice of border, and include an autographed picture of Noem holding the gun to the head of your pet just before pulling the trigger. It is also rumored that posing with Secretary Noem will not be allowed since it will be forbidden to have any diminishing of the focus on her as the center of attention.