The Borowitz Report-Trump Boasts That His Funeral Will Have Much Bigger Turnout Than Cheney's

[LetMyPeopleVote]

Trump Boasts That His Funeral Will Have Much Bigger Turnout Than Cheney’s
open.substack.com/pub/borowitz...

— (@ernie3.bsky.social) 2025-11-20T16:23:43.291Z

https://www.borowitzreport.com/p/trump-boasts-that-his-funeral-will

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump boasted on Thursday that his funeral will draw a “much bigger crowd” than former Vice President Dick Cheney’s.

“Dick Cheney, who was a loser and a terrible person, will be lucky to get a thousand people at his funeral,” Trump posted on Truth Social. “My funeral will draw MILLIONS!”

Remarking that “nobody cares” about Cheney’s funeral, Trump said he expects the turnout at his funeral to set records, noting, “Every day, people say to me, ‘Sir, I can’t wait for that day to come.’”

[Lokee11]

1. Not That Chaney doesn't deserve a line as well -

But the only reason why that Orange piece of 💩 will possibly have the largest turn out ever for a funeral - would be due to the joy his demise and trip to hell would bring to the masses and the line that would be created to piss on that scum's grave!!!!


✊FDT!

[dhol82]

3. Indeed. There will be dancing in the streets!

[allegorical oracle]

10. With all the joy of Mardi gras!

[dhol82]

13. Or even better:

A Second Line! I’ll twirl that umbrella myself.

[leftstreet]

2. I thought at first this wasn't satire

...this is where we are

[LetMyPeopleVote]

7. It is hard to do satire in today's world

[GreenWave]

4. The parade and celebration will be epic.

[Ocelot II]

5. Trump's real funeral will be a party.

Of course there will be an official state funeral (and the great thing about funerals is that it's an acknowledgment that the subject is dead), but the real funeral will be the huge party taking place in the streets all over the country. So in that sense Trump's funeral will be bigger than Cheney's.

[SunSeeker]

6. He's got that right. It will be a worldwide celebration. nt

[Tree Lady]

15. That's what I was thinking

We will all be out in the streets jumping for joy!

[LetMyPeopleVote]

9. My youngest has a bottle in the fridge waiting

[Historic NY]

11. I really need him to prove it.

I think he's lying.

[dalton99a]

12. Millions will celebrate everywhere around the world

[LetMyPeopleVote]

14. This made me smile