Is he dead yet?

[Orrex]

Run over by minimally-inspected freight train?

Laughed himself to death, sure that he heard someone declare him no compost Mentos?

Stroked out while trying to find Alaska on a globe?


Just fucking died already for literally any reason at all?

[surfered]

1. Overwhelmed by organizations currying favor bestowing made up Peace Prizes.

His narcissistic brain couldn’t refuse any.

[malaise]

2. No but

He sure looks decrepit so I am hopeful 😀

[SheltieLover]

3. Not yet, but the day is young...

[surfered]

6. Keep hope alive

[SheltieLover]

12. Holding the vision...

[hlthe2b]

4. Decimated by the combination of the SEC-winning UGA Bulldog and Big 10 Hoosier Buffalo LET LOOSE!

and

[niyad]

5. Alas, my bottle of bubbly remains unopened.

Still, the day is yet young. One dares to dream.

[surfered]

7. 🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂🍾🥂

[LetMyPeopleVote]

13. My bottle is in the fridge

Link to tweet

[Phentex]

8. Put his shirt on backwards, choked when he buttoned the top button

buried in a tan suit

[bluestarone]

9. Afraid not. One thing though

He better stay clear of funeral homes. At times he looks like he's DEAD, and they would throw him in a coffin.

[twodogsbarking]

10. Twelve drummers shoved drum sticks into his head.

Eleven pipers piped in so they could do it to music.
Ten lords were leaping, while nine ladies danced.
Eight maids supplied the egg nog.
Seven swans swam to see.
Six geese supplied eggs.
Five golden rings for sale on ebay.
Four birds called for more drummers.
Three French hens were served with stuffing.
Two turtle doves who are gay attended.
A partridge supplied pear pudding.

Peace all.

[MiHale]

11. February 2nd, 2026...Groundhogs Day. Manifest this day....

Come on help me win the dead pool.

[LetMyPeopleVote]

14. PRAYING FOR THIS DAY

Link to tweet

[Blumancru]

15. Unbuttons his shirt collar and removes tie. Foreskin pops up and smothers him.

Mailorderia flies back to Slovenia, takes 15 showers a day for a month to get his stench off her.

[Blue Owl]

16. Rage-tweeted himself into oblivion while on the gold toilet

[Joinfortmill]

17. No, but soon. TickTock.