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JoJoFromJerz: "Fucking Bitch." The cost of telling a dangerous man you're not afraid
JoJoFromJerz
@jojofromjerz.bsky.social
· 2h
The same old sentence wrapped in different words: look what you made me do. You pushed me. You deserved it. This is your fault. It’s the logic of abuse, a kind of moral alchemy that turns cruelty into consequence and makes a woman responsible for her own pain.
open.substack.com/pub/jojofrom...
The same old sentence wrapped in different words: look what you made me do. You pushed me. You deserved it. This is your fault. It’s the logic of abuse, a kind of moral alchemy that turns cruelty into consequence and makes a woman responsible for her own pain.
— JoJoFromJerz (@jojofromjerz.bsky.social) 2026-01-11T19:22:54.383Z
open.substack.com/pub/jojofrom...
“Fucking Bitch.”
The cost of telling a dangerous man you’re not afraid
Renee Good didn’t die screaming. She didn’t curse. She didn’t spit back the rage being hurled at her by a man who had already decided he owned the moment, the space, the ending. Her last recorded words were gentle in a way that keeps echoing long after you’ve heard them, a soft human attempt to steady a situation that had already begun to tilt toward something dangerous. I’m not mad at you. Not sarcastic. Not defiant. Just a woman trying to lower the temperature in a moment where heat was building fast and fear was beginning to bloom.
And that matters. It matters because those words weren’t weakness. They were instinct. Women have been speaking that language for centuries, smoothing sharp edges with softness, translating danger into diplomacy because we know, in our bones, how quickly male anger can tip into something that can’t be walked back. We learn to offer calm the way you offer a glass of water to a shaking hand, hoping it will be enough to keep everything from spilling.
I’ve watched my friend do that in her own home. I’ve seen her standing in a kitchen with a bruise blooming on her cheek, whispering please don’t be mad, I’m not mad at you, let’s just calm down, as if her gentleness might absorb his violence. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t. But she kept trying, because women in danger are taught that survival depends on how well we manage the men who want to hurt us.
Renee was doing the same thing. And in my reading of that moment, through everything I know about abusive men and the way they move through the world, that quiet I’m not mad at you may have felt like a challenge to someone who needed to be in charge. Because some men don’t hear peace as peace. They hear it as a woman claiming ground that isn’t supposed to belong to her. They hear it as a refusal to be properly afraid.
And that matters. It matters because those words weren’t weakness. They were instinct. Women have been speaking that language for centuries, smoothing sharp edges with softness, translating danger into diplomacy because we know, in our bones, how quickly male anger can tip into something that can’t be walked back. We learn to offer calm the way you offer a glass of water to a shaking hand, hoping it will be enough to keep everything from spilling.
I’ve watched my friend do that in her own home. I’ve seen her standing in a kitchen with a bruise blooming on her cheek, whispering please don’t be mad, I’m not mad at you, let’s just calm down, as if her gentleness might absorb his violence. Sometimes it worked. Sometimes it didn’t. But she kept trying, because women in danger are taught that survival depends on how well we manage the men who want to hurt us.
Renee was doing the same thing. And in my reading of that moment, through everything I know about abusive men and the way they move through the world, that quiet I’m not mad at you may have felt like a challenge to someone who needed to be in charge. Because some men don’t hear peace as peace. They hear it as a woman claiming ground that isn’t supposed to belong to her. They hear it as a refusal to be properly afraid.
Read the rest:
https://jojofromjerz.substack.com/p/fucking-bitch
7 replies
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