If I give my high school track ribbon to The Orange Menace

[Ranting Randy]

That doesn't make him a track star

[displacedvermoter]

1. Someone gave him something else many years ago

That was the syphilis that is ravaging his brain, now.

[milestogo]

2. I won third place in a floor hockey contest in fourth grade.

There were only three of us in the contest.

But I still have the blue ribbon somewhere. I'd be willing to give it to TSF when he resigns from office.

[Ranting Randy]

3. Give it to him on the condition that he resign, (It could happen)